The Adventures of Gil Blas of Santillane, Alain René le Sage [most read books .txt] 📗

the ceremony; he has been in an

ostensible situation under the Duke of Lerma, and his father

ought to be buried with all the forms of state and nobility.

 

I thought exactly as my secretary did upon the subject; and even

went so far as to bid him spare no expense on the occasion. A

little leaven of vanity still fermented in the mass of my

philosophy, and rose in my bosom with all the effervescence of

its original lightness. I flattered myself that by lavishing

posthumous honours on a father who had blessed the day of his

decease by no lucrative bequest, I should instil into the

conceptions of the bystanders a high sense of my generous nature.

My mother, on her part, whatever airs of humility she might put

on, had no dislike to seeing her husband carried out with due

observance of funeral pomp and ceremony. We therefore left Scipio

to do just as he pleased; and he, without a moment’s delay,

adopted all the necessary measures for the display of the

undertaker’s liveliest fancy.

 

The genius of that artist was called forth but too successfully.

His emblems, devices, and draperies, were so ostentatious, as to

disgust instead of cajoling the natives: every individual,

whether of the town or the suburbs, whether high or low, rich or

poor, felt shocked and insulted by this after-thought parade.

This ministerial beggar on horseback, said one, can put his hand

into his pocket for his father’s funeral baked meats, but never

found in his heart wherewithal to furnish his living table with

common necessaries. It would have been much more to the purpose,

said another, to have made the old gentleman’s latter days

comfortable, than to have wasted such thriftless sums on a post

obit act of filial munificence. In short, quips of the brain and

peltings of the tongue pattered round our execrated heads. It

would have been well had the storm been only a whirlwind of

passion, or hurricane of words; but we were all, Scipio,

Bertrand, and myself, corporally admonished of our misdeeds, on

our coming out of church; they abused us like pickpockets, made

mouths and odious noises as we passed, and followed Bertrand at

his heels to the inn with a copious volley of stones and mud. To

disperse the mob which had collected before my uncle’s house, my

mother was obliged to shew herself at the window, and to declare

publicly, that she was thoroughly satisfied with my proceedings.

Another detachment had filed off to the stable-yard where my

carriage stood, in the full determination of breaking it to

pieces; and this they would inevitably have done, if the landlord

and lady had not found some means of quieting their perturbed

spirits, and turning them aside from their outrageous purpose.

 

All these affronts, so revolting to my dignity, the effect of the

tales which the young grocer had been spreading about town,

inspired me with such a thorough hatred for my native place, that

I determined on quitting Oviedo almost immediately, though but

for this bustle I might have made it my residence for some time.

I announced my intention, with the reasons of it, to my mother,

who, considering my uncouth reception as no very flattering

compliment to herself, did not urge my longer stay among people

so little inclined to treat me civilly. The only point remaining

now to be discussed was her future destiny and provision. My dear

mother, said I, since my uncle stands so much in need of your

attendance, I will no longer urge you to go along with me; but,

as his days seem likely to be very few on earth, you must promise

to come and take up your abode with me at my farm, as soon as the

last duties are performed to his honoured remains.

 

I shall make no such promise, answered my mother, for I mean to

pass the remnant of my days in the Asturias, and in a state of

perfect independence. Will you not on all occasions, replied I,

be absolute mistress in my household? May be so, and may be not!

rejoined she: you have only to fall in love with some flirt of a

girl, and then you will marry: then she will be my daughter-in-law, and I shall be her stepmother; and then we shall live

together as step mothers and daughters-in-law usually do. Your

prognostics, said I, are fetched from a great distance. I have

not at present the most remote intention of entering into the

happy state: but even though such a whim should take possession

of my brain, I will pledge myself for instructing my wife betimes

in an implicit submission to your will and pleasure. That is

giving security, without the means of making good your contract,

replied my mother: you would scarcely be able to justify bail. I

would not even swear that in our sparring-matches, you might not

take your wife’s part in preference to mine, however ill she

might behave, or however unreasonably she might argue.

 

You talk very excellent sense, madam, cried my secretary, coming

in for his share of the conversation: I think just as you do,

that docility is about as much the virtue of a donkey as of a

daughter-in-law. As the matter stands, that there may be no

difference of opinion between my master and you, since you are

absolutely determined to live asunder, you in the Asturias, and

he in the kingdom of Valencia, he must allow you an annuity of a

hundred pistoles, and send me hither every year for the payment.

By thus arranging matters, mother and son will be very good

friends, with an interval of two hundred leagues between them.

The parties concerned fell in at once with the proposal: I paid

the first year in advance, and stole out of Oviedo the next

morning before dawn, for fear of vying with Saint Stephen in

popular favour. Such were the charms of my return to my native

place. An admirable lesson this for those successful upstarts,

who having gone abroad to make their fortunes, come home to be

the purse-proud tyrants of their birth-place.

 

CH. III. — Gil Blas sets out for Valencia, and arrives at

Lirias; description of his seat; the particulars of his

reception, and the characters of the inhabitants he found there.

 

We took the road for Leon, afterwards that of Palencia; and,

continuing our journey by short stages, arrived on the evening of

the tenth day at the town of Segorba, whence early on the morrow

we repaired to my seat, at the distance of very little more than

three leagues. In proportion as we approached nearer, it was

amusing to see with what a longing eye my secretary looked at all

the estates which lay in our way, to the right and left of the

road. Whenever he caught a glimpse of any which bespoke the rank

and opulence of its owner, he never missed pointing at it with

his finger, and wishing that were the place of our retreat.

 

I know not, my good friend, said I, what idea you have formed of

our habitation; but if you have taken it into your head that ours

is a magnificent house, with the domain of a great landed

proprietor, I warn you in time that you are laying much too

flattering an unction to your vanity.

 

If you have no mind to be the dupe of a warm imagination, figure

to yourself the little ornamented cottage which Horace fitted up

near Tibur in the country of the Sabines, on a small farm, the

fee-simple of which was given hint by Maecenas. Don Alphonso has

made me just such another present, more as a token of affection

than for the value of the thing. Then I must expect to see

nothing but a dirty hovel! exclaimed Scipio. Bear in mind,

replied I, that I have always given you quite an unvarnished

description of my place; and now, even at this moment, you may

judge for yourself whether I have not stuck to truth and nature

in my representations. Just carry your eye along the course of

the Guadalaviar, and observe at a little distance from the

further bank, near that hamlet, consisting of nine or ten

tenements, a house with four small turrets; that is my mansion.

 

The deuce and all! stammered out my secretary, short-breathed

with sudden admiration: why, that house is one of the prettiest

things in nature. Besides the castellated air which those turrets

give it, all the beauties of situation and architecture,

fertility of soil, and perfection of landscape, combine to rival

or excel the immediate neighbourhood of Seville, complimented as

it is for its picturesque attractions by the appellation of an

earthly paradise. Had we chosen the place of our settlement for

ourselves, it could not have been more to my taste: a river

meanders through the grounds, distilling plenty and verdure from

its fertilizing bosom; the leafy honours of an umbrageous wood

invite the mid-day walk, and qualify the temperature of the

seasons. What a heavenly abode of solitude and contemplation! Ah!

my dear master, we shall act very foolishly if we are in a hurry

to run away from our happiness. I am delighted, answered I, that

you are so well satisfied with the retreat provided for us,

though yet acquainted with only a small part of its attractions.

 

As we were chatting in this strain, we got nearer and nearer to

the house, where the door opened, as by magic, the moment Scipio

announced Signor Gil Blas de Santillane, who was coming to take

possession of his estate. At the mention of this name, received

with reverential homage by the people who had been instructed in

the transfer of their obedience, my carriage was admitted into a

large court, where I alighted; then leaning with all my weight

upon Scipio, as if walking was a derogation from my dignity, and

putting on the great man after the most consequential models, I

reached the hall, where, on my entrance, seven or eight servants

made their obeisances. They told me they were come to welcome

their new master with their best loves and duties: that Don

Caesar and Don Alphonso de Leyva had chosen them to farm my

establishment, one in quality of cook, another as under-cook, a

third as scullion, a fourth as porter, and the rest as footmen;

with an express injunction to receive no wages or perquisites, as

those two noblemen meant to defray all the expenses of my

household. The cook, Master Joachim by name, was commander-in-chief of this battalion, and announced to me the whole array of

the campaign; he declared that he had laid in a large stock of

the choicest wines in Spain, and insinuated that for the solid

supply of the table, he flattered himself a person of his

education and experience, who had been six years at the head of

my Lord Archbishop of Valencia’s kitchen, must know how to dish

up a dinner so as to meet the ideas of the most fastidious layman

in Christendom. But the proof of the pudding is in the eating,

added he; so I will just go and give you a specimen of my talent.

You had better take a walk, my lord, while dinner is getting

ready: look about the premises; and see whether you find them in

tenantable condition for a person of your lordship’s dignity.

 

The reader may guess whether I did not stir my stumps; and

Scipio, still more eager than myself to take a bird’s eye

inventory of our goods and chattels, dragged me back and fore

from room to room. There was not a corner of the house that we

did not peep into, from the garret to the cellar: not a closet or

a cranny, at