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hand shook and wouldn't stop. What ever chaced me, it had caught beth. She was my fault. I personally didnt know her, but something in me did. Something in me knew she was lost. I wanted to find her, I wanted to find myself but how? 

 

Watch me, I almost whispered to myself. 'It stopped bleeding?' I asked Brad not quite turning to him. 'Could have.' He shrugged not paying attention either. I went up on my tip toes and pulled his arm away, it had but blood covered his face. 'Did you miss you morning bath dracular?' I asked not quiet able to giggle. 'Ew, girl I do not want to drink your blood.' He replied smiling down at the small girl standing beside his brother. She giggled up at him causing him to grin crookidly at her. 'Score nine thousand and fifty seven to us.' He called out winking. 'Shut up and go wash your face you grub.' She mock shouted at him, was it me or was she immatating - well me? 'Ew Dani i think I got a little on your face!' He called out mock chasing her. 'Brad quit chasing her.' My music teacher called out sounding exhaused and more like an older brother than a teacher. 'Yes dad.' He replied rolling his eyes. 

 

'Dev you okay?' Mr white asked him. 'I'm fine just go do your job.' Devon repplied annoyed, his face tight with anger and fustration. 'My job?' Mr white mouthed. 'Shit.' He said turning to me, placing a fake smile on his face. 'What are you still doing here?' He asked sounding annoyed. 'Erm well, Brads kinda my tour guide...' I muttered not seeing him or Dani anywhere. Dang it, I sighed and walked away myself. 

 

My stomach growled and I pulled out my phone. 

 

I know I'm so amazing that you never want to leave me - but wheres the dinner court?

 

The what now? 

 

Lunch hall?

 

Phahaha

 

Dining hall place, dude come on I don't want to be stuck with your brother and Mr white - save me.

 

 

I sighed when a blood free Brad finally found me, trying to dodge being hit by people stampeeding down the stairs. 'Haven't made any friends yet V?' He asked creeping up behind me and whispering in my ear. 'No, have you?' I asked in responce sounding suprisengly sincere. He chuckled and took my arm. 'For real though, you've never really had a boyfriend?' He asked waiting for the punch line or something. 'I don't suppose I have, something in me is always rearing to run.' I whispered hoping no one would hear me. He looked down into my face, searcing for something. If he found it he never told me. Sighing I turned away 'forget it I'm no longer hungry.' I whispered, I felt depressed not hungry. How could such a small town, in such a small time destroy me so? I saw my locker and jogged to it, throwing all of my things inside I felt lighter. Mentally and physically. Without a second thought I threw my phone in. Something in me clicked into place. This was meant to be. 

 

The doors were infront of me, I couldn't help it. Just like had whispered, the outside called to me. I could almost feel Brad tensing, but someone called his name. Before he could call after me I pushed my way through the people. I needed a break. From this, from everything. 

 

The cold air hit me with full force. No one was retreating into the frigid air. Into the gentle rain, to me though it felt like heaven. I didn't need a partner for this freedom dance, no this was a solo compertition and I was rearing to win. I couldn't see anyone through the light rain, which seemed to wash away all remaining doubts. I belonged here. My feet a solid slap, slap on the concerate. Quicking when my heart did. Sometimes music was the only thing that could heal me, this stupid wet sound though? That was joy it's self. 

 

The day was miserable, I felt miserable. But with ever single step something in me beagn to heal. For the first time in day's I felt 'Okay'. I didn't have to lie. I didn't have to feign strength. The car park full of it's multicouloured dissaray of cars slowly beagn to seep away. The further I ran, the closer to the trees I came. Closer to the darkness. Closer to the dinge mirror of my soul. 

 

Here I could be unhappy alone. With no one trying to make me smile because that was the right thing to do. I'm not okay, somewhere closer to it. But I never quite could reach it. Bursting through the shrubery at top speed, lungs and thys burning. Rain leeking down in slow revlets down my face. 

 

I let out a gasp, it was like no light could seep through. Quickly my eyes adjusted. My eyes scanning the ground for objects threatning to trip me. Dodging through badly placed trees was exhilurating, this close you could see all of the shades of green and brown. How the water droplets magnified what ever lay benith. Deamons seemed to chace me, leading me to something. Left. Everything in me called to the left. Like I had to go there. I must. 

 

I turned left, almost tripping over my own feet in my own haste. After a few minuets I nearly ran back, that was before I saw the figures on the ground. One above the other. The first small, curled in a ball. The second bigger, hideously so. Mostrous. 'What are you doing?' I half gasped half shouted. 'Can you not leave me for a minuet darling Tori?' Landon. 'What are you doing to her?' I asked, he apeared to be crouching over a small figure. 'Helping little Danni out.' He replied. I took a tentitive step forward. True to his word, he was pulling her out of a tight patch of mud. 'Gonna stand there?' He asked sounding a little out of breath. 'Maybe.' I replied grabbing her other hand, with a coupple of gentle yanks she was out of the tough patch. 

 

'Whatta you doin' out here sweetie?' I asked not letting go of her clammy hand. 'I-i saw something go in. So I followed.' She replied. 'Voices?' I asked glaring at Landon, there stupid tricks again. 'Yeah!' she repplied looking between the two of us, we both still gripped her hand. We both glared at one another before letting go. 'She safe to return?' I ground out. 'Wasn't us.' He replied through cleanched teeth. 'Go little one.' I ordered her gently, she nodded looking at me concerned. After a terse nod she left, she didn't belong with his sort. 

 

'What kind of game are you playing and what other freaks lore people into the dark?' I asked him annoyed, standing unmoved. 'Moi? I am a little hurt mon cher. ' He replied placing his hand over his heart having the cheek to look offended. 'Yes. Does it still beat?' I asked half joking. 'For now.' He retorted looking deadly serious. I hate that word. Deadly. No one should be that dangrous. 

 

He grabbed my hand and placed it against his heart, it pumped slowly. Like he shouldn't be freezing. Like his heart shouldn't be beating over time to heat him. Like he shouldn't have goosebumps or be shivering. He was cool, not hot nor cold. Cool, like he was standing in the middle of a heated room. I took a step closer. 'What is going on here? What did you do to my friend?' I asked holding his eyes. 'Me personally, nothing. Don't you think I'm a little young to convert her.' Convert. What a weird word to use. 'Calvin?' I asked. 'Spoilers. Giffs and plain cheating there doll.' He replied taking my arm through his, effectivly removing it from his heart that had begain beating faster. It had been Calvin. 

 

'What has he done to you, all of you?' I asked holding his freezing cold eyes. 'Nothing that we didn't secretly want. Deep down, Tori, you want it too.' He whispered taking a step even closer. He bent his head and rest it against mine. I should feel odd. I should run screaming freak, instead I stood still. Something about him to me to. Something in me wanted to. Another part of me knew this was wrong. That I could be hurt. That I was in danger. And the first part? Well it loved this. 'What have they done to you? To beth - I remember her. She's the only person I remember. We were out. Something was chasing us. But we fell over. And then nothing. What happened?' I almost screamed, instead it came out in a pathetic whisper. 

 

Slowly his nose slipped down mine. Slowly his lips crept towards my own. Freezing and burning. Thats what kissing Landon was like. Something in me was frozen and the other half burning. Something in me was tearing. I'm pretty sure I was officially two people. The monstrous calm before the storm half. And the other. But did I want to stick around to find out what it was? 

 

I pushed myself up on my tip toes, effectively giving him control over my body. Effectively giving away my free will. Nothing. Thats what I was thinking about. Nothing. 

 

His lips were soft, hands the safe zone between cool and warm. Resting on the skin above my exposed hip bone. My own rested around his neck. His teeth gently grazed my lip and a moan escaped me. This was wrong. So wrong. He pulled away grinning. 'Your trapped now Tori.' He whispered stepping away. The freezing feeling returned with a rush of wind. I felt dirty and wrong, but couldn't help that feeling of exhiluration when he smiled at me. 

 

'We have class.' He sang snagging my hand and tugging me back the way we came.

 

 

The passive resistance

Chapter 10

 

 

Don't get a whole lot of pacifism these days do we. I'm a pacifist. Smack - but I'm totally a realist. Pacifism is where you wish not to face violence, do everything thing in your power to have no physical encounter. Realists look at the situation and think fuck it, and do anything in the power to survive. It's clear which one I am. I'm still here, but what if i didn't always have to fight?

 

 

'You don't know anything about us, so why are you so opposed to my friends?' His smile curled at the ends at the word friend. 'Mmm cause they tried to break into my house? Stalked me on my run. Turned my best friend into a queen bit- bee.' I replied rolling my eyes. With each footfall reality set in. Regret and repulsion spasmed my body. 'Then why did you kiss me Victoria?' He asked, the grin in his voice made me want to punch him. 'For the record you kissed me.' I replied going to take a step forward. I once again raised myself on my tiptoes and leaned forward. traced my finger nails roughly over his skin before turning on my heel and walking away. Away from him and away from the tranquility. His laughter bombed around me. 'This never ends well.' He called out after his

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