The Adventures of Gil Blas of Santillane, Alain René le Sage [most read books .txt] 📗
- Author: Alain René le Sage
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dwellings under-ground, like this we are in. In process of time,
when by the blessing of Providence they had driven their enemies
out of Spain, they returned to the towns. From that time forth
their retreats have served as a rendezvous for the gentlemen of
our profession. It is true that several of them have been
discovered and destroyed by the holy brotherhood: but there are
some yet remaining; and, by great good luck, I have tenanted this
without paying any rent for it almost these fifteen years:
Captain Rolando, at your service! I am the leader of the band;
and the man you saw with me is one of my troopers.
CH. V. — The arrival of the banditti in the subterraneous
retreat, with an account of their pleasant conversation.
JUST as Captain Rolando had finished his speech six new faces
made their appearance in the hall; the lieutenant and five
privates returning home with their booty. They were hauling in
two great baskets full of sugar, cinnamon, pepper, figs, almonds,
and raisins. The lieutenant gave an account of their proceedings
to the captain, and told him they had taken these articles, as
well as the sumpter-mule, from a grocer of Benavento. An official
report having thus been made to the prime-minister, the grocer’s
contribution was carried to account; and the next step was to
regale after their labours. A large table was set out in the
hall. They sent me back to the kitchen, where dame Leonarda told
me what I had to do. I made the best of a bad bargain, finding
the luck ran against me; and, swallowing my grievances, set
myself to wait on my noble masters.
I cleaned my plate, set out my sideboard, and brought up my wine.
As soon as I announced dinner to be on table, consisting of two
good black peppery ragouts for the first course, this high and
mighty company took their seats. They fell too most voraciously.
My place was to wait; and I handed about the glasses with so
butler-like an air, as to be not a little complimented on my
dexterity. The chief entertained them with a short sketch of my
story, and praised my parts. But I had recovered from my mania by
this time, and could listen to my own panegyric with the humility
of an anchorite or the contempt of a philosopher. They all seemed
to take a liking to me, and to think I had dropped from the
clouds on purpose to be their cup-bearer. My predecessor was a
fool to me. Since his death, the illustrious Leonarda had the
honour of presenting nectar to these gods of the lower regions.
But she was now degraded, and I had the felicity of being
installed in her office. Thus, old Hebe being a little the worse
for wear, young Ganymede tripped up her heels.
A substantial joint of meat after the ragouts at length blunted
the edge of their appetites. Eating and drinking went together:
so that they soon got into a merry pin, and made a roaring noise.
Well done, my lads! All talkers and no listeners. One begins a
long story, another cuts a joke; here a fellow bawls, there a
fellow sings; and they all seem to be at cross purposes. At last
Rolando, tired of a concert in which he could hardly hear the
sound of his own voice, let them know that he was maestro di
capella, and brought them into better tune. Gentlemen, said he, I
have a question to put. Instead of stunning one another with this
infernal din, had we not better enjoy a little rational
conversation? A thought is just come into my head. Since the
happy day that united us we have never had the curiosity to
inquire into each other’s pedigrees, or by what chain of
circumstances we were each of us led to embrace our present way
of life. There would be no harm in knowing who and who are
together. Let us exchange confidence: we may find some amusement
in it. The lieutenant and the rest, like true heroes of romance,
accepted the challenge with the utmost courtesy, and the captain
told the first story to the following effect: — Gentlemen, you
are to know that I am the only son of a rich citizen in Madrid.
The day of my birth was celebrated in the family by rejoicings
without end. My father, no chicken, thought it a considerable
feat to have got an heir, and my mother was kind enough to suckle
me herself. My maternal grandfather was still living: a good old
man, who did not trouble himself about other people’s concerns,
but said his prayers, and fought his campaigns over and over
again; for he had been in the army. Of course I was idolized by
these three persons; never out of their arms. My early years were
passed in the most childish amusements, for fear of hurting my
health by application. It will not do, said my father, to hammer
much learning into children till time has ripened their
understanding. While he waited for this ripening, the season went
by. I could neither read nor write: but I made up for that in
other ways. My father taught me a thousand different games. I
became perfectly acquainted with cards, was no stranger to dice,
and my grandfather set me the example of drawing the long bow,
while he entertained me with his military exploits. He sung the
same songs repeatedly one after another every day; so that when,
after saying ten or twelve lines after him for three months
together, I got to boggle through them without missing, the whole
family were in raptures at my memory. Neither was my wit thought
to be at all less extraordinary; for I was suffered to talk at
random, and took care to put in my oar in the most impertinent
manner possible. O the pretty little dear! exclaimed my father,
as if he had been fascinated. My mother made it up with kisses,
and my grandfather’s old eyes overflowed. I played all sorts of
dirty and indecent tricks before them with impunity; everything
was excusable in so fine a boy: an angel could not do wrong.
Going on in this manner, I was already in my twelfth year without
ever having a master. It was high time; but then he was to teach
me by fair means: he might threaten, but must not flog me. This
arrangement did me but little good; for sometimes I laughed when
my tutor scolded: at others, I ran with tears in my eyes to my
mother or my grandfather, and complained that he had used me ill.
The poor devil got nothing by denying it. My word was always
taken before his, and he came off with the character of a cruel
rascal. One day I scratched myself with my own nails, and set up
a howl as if I had been flogged. My mother ran, and turned the
master out of doors, though he vowed and protested he had never
lifted a finger against me.
Thus did I get rid of all my tutors, till at last I met with one
to my mind. He was a bachelor of Alcala. This was the master for
a young man of fashion. Women, wine, and gaming, were his
principal amusements. It was impossible to be in better hands. He
hit the right nail on the head: for he let me do what I pleased,
and thus got into the good graces of the family, who abandoned me
to his conduct. They had no reason to repent. He perfected me
betimes in the knowledge of the world. By dint of taking me about
to all his haunts, he gave such a finish to my education, that
barring literature and science, I be came an universal scholar.
As soon as he saw that I could go alone in the high road to ruin
he went to qualify others for the same journey.
During my childhood I had lived at home just as I liked, and did
not sufficiently consider, that now I was beginning to be
responsible for my own actions. My father and mother were a
standing jest. Yet they were themselves thrown into convulsions
at my sallies; and the more ridiculous they were made by them,
the more waggish they thought me. In the mean time I got into all
manner of scrapes with some young fellows of my own kidney; and,
as our relations kept us rather too short of cash for the
exigencies of so loose a life, we each of us made free with
whatever we could lay our hands on in our own families. Finding
this would not raise the supplies, we began to pick pockets in
the streets at night. As ill luck would have it, our exploits
came to the knowledge of the police. A warrant was out against
us; but some good-natured friend, thinking it a pity we should be
nipped in the bud, gave us a caution. We took to our heels, and
rose in our vocation to the rank of highwaymen. From that time
forth, gentlemen, with a blessing on my endeavours, I have gone
on till I am almost the father of the profession, in spite of the
dangers to which it is exposed.
Here the captain ended, and it came to the turn of the
lieutenant. Gentle men, extremes are said to meet; — and so it
will appear from a comparison of our commander’s education and
mine. My father was a butcher at Toledo. He passed, with reason,
for the greatest brute in the town, and my mother’s sweet
disposition was not mended by the example. In my childhood, they
whipped me in emulation of one another; I came in for a thousand
lashes of a day! The slightest fault was followed up by the
severest punishment. In vain did I beg for mercy with tears in my
eyes, and protest that I was sorry for what I had done. They
never excused me, and nine times out of ten flogged me for
nothing. When I was under my father’s lash, my mother, not
thinking his arm stout enough, lent her assistance, instead of
begging me off. The favours I received at their hands gave me
such a disgust, that I quitted their house before I had completed
my fourteenth year, took the Arragon road, and begged my way to
Saragossa. There I associated with vagrants, who led a merry life
enough. They taught me to counterfeit blindness and lameness, to
dress up an artificial wound in each of my legs, and to adopt
many other methods of imposing on the credulity of the charitable
and humane. In the morning, like actors at rehearsal, we cast our
characters, and settled the business of the comedy. We had each
our exits and our entrances; till in the evening the curtain
dropped, and we regaled at the expense of the dupes we had
deluded in the day. Wearied, however, with the company of these
wretches, and wishing to live in more worshipful society, I
entered into partnership with a gang of sharpers. These fellows
taught me some good tricks: but Saragossa soon became too hot to
hold us, after we had fallen out with a limb of the law, who had
hitherto taken us under his protection. We each of us provided
for ourselves, and left the devil to take the hindmost. For my
part, I enlisted in a brave and veteran regiment, which had seen
abundance of service on the king’s highway: and I found myself so
comfortable in their quarters, that I had no desire to change my
birth. So that you see, gentlemen, I was very much obliged to my
relations for their bad behaviour; for if
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