Truth of Dark Pasts, Serena Wood [read my book .txt] 📗

I hear that guilt filled voice, the breathe I was holding comes out in a sob. River moves to stand infront of the door. “Ellie, it’s just me… Can you let me in?” her voice still sounds guilty and when she asks she sounds so hopeful that I don’t know how else to react other than opening the door. She steps into the stall cautiously and shuts the door behind her again. “It’s okay, hardly anyone comes in here. We should be fine until lunch is over at least.” She turns to face me again when she finishes that statement and she stares at me for a few seconds.

“I, um, I went to the nurse and she had some spare clothes from gym…” She fiddles with the shirt in her hand for a minute. “Why did you come here, wouldn’t you rather hang out with Queen Perfect?” I grumble and she looks up at me with that guilty look in her eyes again. “I’m sorry… God, I’m such an idiot. I don’t know why I was even sitting with them, I didn’t know she would do that. I swear.”

“Yeah… well neither did I.” I mutter in response, moving to lean against the wall again. She moves to stand in front of me, just inches away. “I’m really trying to fix things, Ellie. I know it doesn’t seem like it with how I just watched and did nothing there…”

“Why didn’t you say something?” the question leaves me before I can stop it, coming out in this angry tone. “I… I didn’t want them to find out. I don’t know what I was thinking, I thought if I didn’t get in her way she wouldn’t catch on about… us.” Us… any other time that wording would have made me happy beyond words but the fact that she intended to hide the whole thing quickly shoots down the idea. “Oh… of course.”

“It’s not for the reasons you think, I just… I thought they would pick on you more. They would be harassing us both and then there would be nothing I could do to protect you.”

“And what are you doing to protect me now?” I snap back almost instantly, somehow surprised by the tone in my own voice. She goes quiet for a minute. “You’re right… I’m sorry I’m fucking this up so bad…” the look in her eyes seems to melt the sudden boldness in me. I’ve never seen her like this, she hardly ever looks this guilty. The girl is known for never backing down once she’s put her thoughts into action. But yet here she is, right infront of me; trying to take back her actions.

“It’s okay.” somehow I find myself still taking her apologies. In an effort to escape looking her in the eye, I stare down at my shirt, still soaked in milk and covered in fruit. “I know what I need to do now, I’ll make things right this time. I promise.” She touches my cheek with the tips of her fingers and the sincerity in her voice makes me look up again.

I don’t know how I’m suppose to respond to the silent question of acceptance she’s asking; hidden under her promise to make things better. If I were smart I would have cut her out of my life the day her friends beat me up, but instead I let her into my heart and now she has a hold of it like the strings of a puppet. And for some reason I don’t seem to mind.

The only thing I can manage to do to answer her silent question is to lean forward and kiss her. She kisses back as soon as we make contact, like I gave her the exact response she was hoping for. The kiss lasts a lot longer than all of the other kisses we had before, something about this moment makes the kiss different. This time there was no sex involved, no arguing, no haste to the kiss. It’s not a quick kiss goodbye before my mom catches her, it’s not one of those post sex kisses or like the one genuine kiss she gave me before that awkward meal with my mom. This time she actually let me kiss her, something she usually doesn’t do. In a weird way it’s like kissing her is something I have to earn, like each kiss is some level up in this weird game she’s playing. But somehow I’m getting through to her. She’s letting her walls down, for me of all people.

Much to my disappointment, the kiss has to end at some point and reluctantly I pull away. When the kiss breaks, she still hovers around with this uncertainty that I usually don’t see in her. After a minute she presses her forehead to mine “I really am sorry… I never have been very good at social interactions.” She chuckles a bit and seeing her settling back to her normal self pulls a smile out of me. “That’s okay, clearly it’s not my specialty either.” I joke back, gesturing to my now ruined shirt.

“Chloe’s just a bitch… I could spend all day on that topic, but I’ll spare you the trouble… Here, you should get changed before third block starts.” in an effort to avoid the subject of Chloe or any other sore subjects, she starts tugging at my shirt and I lift my arms absent-mindedly. She tugs the shirt over my head in one swift movement and as soon as the shirt leaves me I start to miss its presence. Why hadn’t I thought to tell her I could handle it own  my own?

She smirks at me and I should be relieved that she’s completely back to her normal self but I know her well enough to know that smirk means trouble. “What?” I ask worriedly. “Nothing, you just look really cute when you blush like that.” She replies like it was the simplest thing in the world to say to me and in an instant I feel my heart skip a beat.

Before I can react, someone rushes in and a stall near the entrance slams shut. Someone else follows right behind them and subconsciously River steps back, trying to hide in the shadows of the stall. Following right behind her cowardliness, I hold my breathe and my movements nearly freeze as the two girls start talking.

“This is my favorite shirt, Do you think this milk will be very noticeable when it dries?” The girl in the stall questions with this quiet, adorable voice. “I don’t know and I already told you if you’d tell me who did it I’d kick their ass.” the other girl leans against the stall right beside the one River and I are still hiding in. “Don’t worry about it, you can’t afford to get in anymore trouble because of me.”

The other girl makes a protest but I don’t catch it because River nudges my arm. “Come on, it sounds like they’re having the same kinda day as us.” She opens the stall door and motions for me to walk out.

Cautiously I step out of the stall to find a raven haired girl still leaning against the other stall. She notices the door opening and moves out of the way before going back to standing infront of the stall the other girl is still in. She gives us an odd look as soon as we step out of the stall and for a few seconds she studies us. Until she sees the messy shirt balled up in my hands and this look of understanding falls onto her features. “They got you too, huh?” this quick flash of anger shows up in her blue-gray eyes. I nod silently and she scuffs. “Fucking unbelievable, I went to talk to a teacher for like a minute and they milked Shay. Don’t worry, once I find out who it was, they’re in for it.”

“Babe, I already told you to let it go.” ‘Shay’ mutters from the other side of the stall door. “I’ll let it go after I shove that milk carton up their ass.” the girl moves away from the stall door to hand me a handful of paper towels. I take the towels and try on a smile that doesn’t really match my mood right now. As I dab at the shirt with the towels, Shay unlocks the stall door and steps out. The first sight that greets me in the mirror are streaks of blue and red in brunette hair.

At a quick glance, I notice her wardrobe consists of more bright colors than her friend. (who’s dressed in nearly all gray and white) the very next thing I notice is a heart shaped necklace that seems to match the one the raven haired girl has around her neck.

“So?” the girl I still don’t have a name for leans against the sink and looks Shay up and down. “I think it’ll be okay when it dries. Can you chill now?” the only reply Shay gets is a small ‘hmmpf’. She gives the other girl a stern look before turning her attention to me. Just like the first girl, she studies me for a minute before cracking a smile; like she knows something I don’t. “I have this stain remover pen that works miracles in my bag, you can borrow it if you want. I’ve learned to come prepared by now.” a small part of me starts to resent River for managing to fade into the background and leaving me to be social for once.

“N-no thanks, it’s not that big of a deal.” I mutter, focusing more on the shirt and the floor rather than eye contact. “Oh, nonsense. Aero is so expensive. What class do you have next? We just moved here, maybe we’ll have a class together.” Shay smiles at me with this friendly smile I usually don’t get from people. “Uh, Finance.” I reply, just barely able to remember the class. Her green eyes seem to light up at that, “Me too, I’ll dig through my mess of a bookbag and find it when we’re in class. I’m Shaylee by the way.” She sticks out her hand and I hesitate for a second before shaking it. “Ellie.”

“Nice to meet you, Ellie. Sucks we had to meet because of some jerk with food spilling issues, but at least we’re not alone, right?” like always, I can only manage a nod in response. River coughs as she leans against the wall, a clear sign that she wants to leave. Before I can leave or follow out behind her, the other girl speaks up again. “Sweetie, can you save the meet and greet for later? I think you’re boring your new friends.” She moves to stand closer to the shorter girl, giving River a sympathetic look. River tries to soften her expression at that, attempting to look less hostile than she already does. “No, it’s fine. It’s just been a long day. I’m River.” She offers her hand out to the girl and she accepts the handshake with a stern shake.

“Kathy. I know how you feel. Our families transferred us here and we still have to deal with shit like that. But this place is better than our old school, I couldn’t leave Shay alone for a second without someone doing something stupid. I bet you know how that is, right?” she looks River over for a second before moving back to Shay’s side. River looks back at her like a guilty fellon. “Y-yeah… I haven’t been doing a very good job at protecting Ellie lately.” She glances at me miserably, shifting her weight.

“Hey, don’t beat yourself up, I know exactly how you feel. It’s definitely a lot to handle when their all picking on you and your girl like that.” Kathy gives River another one of those sympathetic looks before wrapping her arms around Shay’s waist. Shay breaks into this unbelievable smile and for some reason their actions catch me