Welcome To Your So Called Insanity, Hugs.And.Kisses [most important books of all time .TXT] 📗

I was four are the kind that terrify me into waking up screaming in the middle of the night."

"But there's no way that it could've been real, Aubrey. Places like that just don't exist."

"I know, and that's what I thought at first too. But look." She held up her hands and pulled up her jeans to show Sandy the cuts and scrapes there. "These are from when I fell. I didn't have them yesterday."

Sandy still looked skeptical. "I dunno…"

Aubrey smiled. "I'm going back tonight. Or I'm going to try to, anyway. That'll prove it isn't a dream."

-That night…-

Aubrey opened her eyes, grinning widely as the leering face of a wooden jack-o-lantern greeted her. "I knew it! I wasn't dreaming!" She scrambled over the roots, pulling the door open and jumping inside.

"Ow!" She stood up, her hands over her butt. "That landing really hurt… well, at least I wasn't unconscious this time." She looked around nervously. "But… where do I go?"

A high barking reached Aubrey's ears, and she looked around, trying to locate the source. A semi-transparent white dog floated up in front of her face, panting happily. Aubrey let out a surprised shriek, which was met by the dog's surprised yelp. It flew behind a nearby tree.

Aubrey put a hand over her racing heart and took a deep breath to try to calm her nerves. After she began breathing normally and her heart rate slowed down, she walked over to the tree that the dog had flown behind. It shrunk away a bit. "It's okay; I won't hurt you, I promise." She soothed, holding her hand out. "You're Zero, right?" The dog barked happily and flew out, licking her hand and rubbing his head against it. Surprisingly, he felt very solid.

"Well, well. Look who's back." Aubrey jumped up to see Lock, Shock, and Barrel standing behind her.

Zero flew through Aubrey's chest, giving her chills, and barked at the three of them. Shock glared. "Ugh, it's Bonehead's dog." She swiped a hand at him. "Move it, mutt!"

Zero growled and bit Shock's fingers. She yelped and pulled her hand back. Zero flew in the other direction, yapping at Aubrey to follow. She did, turning and chasing after him.

"Shock, you okay?" Lock asked.

"Go get her!" Shock snarled, holding her hand. Lock and Barrel glanced at each other before chasing after Aubrey.

"Hey, I see her!" Barrel shouted minutes later.

Lock braked quickly. "Yeah, and I see Jack waiting for her at the gate!" Both boys turned and ran back the way they came.

Jack looked at the forest line, waiting for Zero to come out. He'd whistled for him almost five minutes ago; where was he? A happy barking reached Jack's (nonexistent) ears and he smiled as he saw his dog emerge from the trees. His smile widened as the timid figure from last night. "Aubrey!" He waved at her.

She walked over. "Hi Jack. So… I'm back."

Jack chuckled. "Well, if this is going to become a nightly adventure, I believe I should show you around." He offered her his hand.

"Are you sure?"

"It's my job; what kind of ruler would I be if I didn't show my guests around?"

Aubrey laughed and grabbed his hand, walking into Town. "Is that a guillotine?"

"Yes. That would be why it's called Guillotine Gate."

-November 1, 2001-

Aubrey looked around, searching for Jack's bony figure amongst the Hinterland's trees. "Jack?"

Zero flew up, licking Aubrey's face. "Down Zero, down boy!" She laughed. Zero backed off, still smiling in that odd little way dogs can. "Oh, I see. The Mayor already has Jack busy?" Zero shook his head. "Then what…? Ah well. I guess I'll see once we get to town, huh?"

xXx

As Aubrey passed under Guillotine Gate, she was surprised to see the square almost empty. "Aubrey!" She looked up to see the Clown riding toward her.

"Hi." She waved. "Where is everyone?"

"Jack called a meeting." 'A meeting?' Aubrey thought. 'Since when does Jack call meetings?' Obviously, he could tell what she was thinking, because he gave her a smirk. "He said it was important." He nodded his head toward the town hall and rode off. After a moment's consideration, she followed after him.

Aubrey wasn't really surprised to see that the decorations from the night before had been removed. Looking around the crowded hall, Aubrey frowned as she saw that there weren't any seats left. She let out a gasp as she felt a pair of bony hands grab her waist and felt herself get lifted up. After a brief moment, she grabbed onto the branch above her head and pulled herself up, settling in to get a better view. She smiled down at the Hanging Man that had boosted her up, and then looked over to see Sally on the Hanging Tree's other branch. She waved at the rag doll, who smiled and waved back.

Both turned their attention to the stage when Jack stepped up to the microphone. The spotlight in the rafters clicked on, sending the bats who were roosting there flying. "Listen everyone. I want to tell you about Christmas Town. There were objects so peculiar, they were not to be believed, all around, things to tantalize my brain. It's a world unlike anything I've ever seen and as hard as I try, I can't seem to describe like a most improbable dream.

He began to walk away from the podium to the other side of the stage as he continued. "But you must believe when I tell you this; it's as real as my skull and it does exist. Here, let me show you." Aubrey let out a little gasp, as did everyone else in the hall, as Jack tugged on the cord to open the curtains, revealing a (quite dead) tree covered with Christmas lights and two stools. Jack picked up a brightly wrapped box off of the one closest to him; a Christmas present. "This is a thing called a present. The whole thing starts with a box-"

"A box?" The Harlequin demon interrupted.

The devil stood up to get a better look. "A box? Is it steel?"

"Are there locks?" The werewolf jumped in.

"Is it filled with a pox?" The Harlequin demon called out again.

The devil laughed. "A pox? How delightful, a pox!"

Jack gave a slight cough, drawing everyone's attention back to the stage. "If you please. Just a box with bright-colored paper. And the whole thing's topped with a bow."

Hazel and Zoë flew over the crowd's heads, floating around Jack. "A bow?" Zoë questioned.

"But why?" Hazel continued.

"How ugly. What's in it? What's in it?" They asked unanimously.

Jack pulled the present away from the witches' prying eyes, and fingers. "That's the point of the thing, not to know!" Jack blinked as Clown, who had somehow gotten a seat up front, used his extendable arm to take the box from him.

At this point, the audience began to try and guess what was in the box. "It's a bat!" Clown yelled.

"Will it bend?" The Creature Under the Stairs, who was seated next to Clown, asked.

"It's a rat!" Clown guessed again, moving the box away from the C.U.t.S as he tried to touch it.

"Will it break?"

"Perhaps it's the head that I found in the lake!" The swamp monster spoke up.

Jack seemed to be getting frustrated as he took the present back from Clown. "Listen now, you don't understand. That's not the point of Christmas land." Confused murmurs broke out among the crowd. They couldn't seem to grasp the fact that not everything in the world was scary. "Now pay attention." Jack ordered. He set the present back on its stool and turned to the other stool, picking up a stocking. "We pick up an oversized sock. And hang it, like this, on the wall." Jack proceeded to demonstrate this action.

But just as he got started, he was interrupted yet again, this time by Mr. Hyde. "Oh, yes, but does it still have a foot?" He inquired. His hat lifted up, revealing his medium counterpart.

"Let me see, let me look!" His hat lifted to reveal the smallest of the Mr. Hydes.

"Is it rotted and covered in gook?"

Jack bit his lip. "Um, let me explain." Mr. Hyde, all three of them, sat back down, slightly embarrassed. "There's no foot inside, but there's candy. Or sometimes it's filled with small toys."

At the words 'candy' and 'toys', the children were suddenly paying attention, and had to put their two cents in. "Small toys?" The mummy, Tut, and winged demon, Bart, cried in unison.

"Do they bite?"

"Do they snap?"

"Or explode in the sack?"

"Or perhaps they just spring out and scare girls and boys!" Corpse Kid giggled from his father's shoulders.

And in came the Mayor, who was manning the spotlight. "What a splendid idea, this Christmas sounds fun! I fully endorse it, let's try it at once!" He slipped at 'let's try', knocking the spotlight askew. Jack tried to get the now excited crowd back into a calmed state as the light danced around the room as he walked back to the podium, setting the stocking in his hand down on the way.

"Everyone, please now, not so fast! There's something here that you don't quite grasp." The crowd murmured confusedly again, too excited for Jack's words to have any effect.

Jack sighed and turned away from a moment. Aubrey knew that when Jack had to contemplate something, especially something like this, it couldn't be good. When he turned back around, his signature 'Pumpkin King' grin was on his face. The lights illuminating the tree and stools behind him died down as he started, leaving only the brightly colored lights visible, as well as the faint outline of the tree they hung on. "But the best, I must confess, I have saved for the last, for the ruler of this Christmas land," Jack was no longer on stage, but walking down into the aisle between the seats, "Is a fearsome kind with a deep mighty voice, least that's what I've come to understand."

'What is he saying?' Aubrey thought to herself. A quick glance over at Sally let her see that she wasn't buying a word of Jack's new attitude. But everyone else seemed to be eating it up eagerly.

"And I've also heard it told that he's something to behold, like a lobster, huge and red," He pulled out Behemoth's tongue for emphasis, letting it go as he finished the sentence, "When he sets out to slay with his rain gear on, carting bulging sacks with his big great arms! That is so I've heard it said. And on a dark cold night, under full moonlight, he flies into the fog like a vulture in the sky!" He jumped back on stage, crouching there for a brief moment before turning back to the crowd. "And they call him Sandy Claws." The stage lights turned red as Jack finished, giving him a, most likely, desired effect of creepiness. He chuckled darkly as the crowd cheered. Aubrey jumped off of the Hanging Tree's branches and walked out of the building, Sally not far behind her.

"Aubrey!" The little girl stopped and turned around. Sally knelt down next to her. "That isn't what Christmas is like at all, is it?" Aubrey shook her head.

"That first part, the happy, jolly part; that was all true, like Jack said, but-"

"Ah,