For a Girl, J.T. D'Arelli [reading fiction txt] 📗

accepting my femininity to allow Marks such a victory.

Fortunately, I knew just what to do.

The next day, I got up and went through my usual morning routine, put on a pretty dress and made sure to place the item I needed in my purse. Then it was off to school, where Becky, Arleen and Sue all expressed support for me and dismay over what had happened. Rumors were already circulating around the campus — I aimed to set the story straight soon enough.

"Stephanie, you've got to report him to the principal or to the police," Arleen insisted. Becky and Sue seconded her opinion. I was pleased to see that Arleen had become a full-fledged member of our circle.

"Principal Grogan?" I smiled with irony. "I don't think he's my best alternative. Besides, I've got a better answer. Wait for me in the senior lounge during second period."

Guardedly, they said they'd wait.

Second period came and I headed off to the lounge. The senior class had a separate 'club' with a stereo, soda machine and such. One of the nice perks of being on top of the student pyramid. Most study halls found us in the lounge, reading, playing cards, etc. That was my destination today. I checked my purse to make sure my little item was ready. Then I took a deep breath, entered the lounge and walked right up to Andy Marks.

He looked at me warily. "What do you want?"

"The better question, Marks, is what do YOU want? I know the answer." I reached into my purse and pulled out my special item.

A pair of my panties.

His eyes widened as I held them up for him to see.

"Do you remember these, Marks? I was wearing them last night — when you tried to rape me." I spoke in a firm voice. Every one of the thirty or so kids in the lounge had fallen silent as they turned to the two of us. You could have heard the proverbial pin drop.

Marks had a confused and uncertain expression on his face. And that something else was there too. I'd finally reasoned it out.

Envy.

Marks was jealous of me — and that was how I intended to defeat him.

"It took me a while to understand why you were so hateful to me, Marks. Always insulting and mocking me after I changed. At first I just dismissed it as your usual assholic self — after all, you've caused a lot of misery around this place. But then I figured it out."

He continued to stare at me — mesmerized. So were all the other kids.

"You see, Marks, you're afraid of me. Afraid of what I represent. You're scared GB could happen to you too. You're afraid you might wake up with breasts on your chest — or have to spend the rest of your life wearing panties like these."

I paused for effect, then continued. "But your fear isn't because you're scared of becoming a girl. What you're really afraid of is this: that you WANT to become a girl. That deep down inside that sewer you call a personality, there's a part of you that's jealous of me that I got to do what you didn't. That I turned into a female."

He was still frozen in place — shocked.

"And because you don't have the guts to admit it to yourself — that you want to be female, too — you took it out on me. Hence, you staged Rape-apalloza '03 last night."

There were stunned gasps all around me.

"But you didn't have to go through all that, Marks," I said, shifting to a light, mocking tone. "Nobody's really sure how GB spreads. Maybe if you wear my panties, you'll get your wish. Maybe they'll turn you into the girl I know you're just dying to be. You didn't have to try to rape me — all you had to do was ask and I would have given them to you. I know you want them — so here you go."

And with that, I tossed my pretty undies into his lap. He recoiled as if they were a pair of rattlesnakes.

There's a moment in every track meet I've ever run that I call the 'turning'. It's when I'm racing next to an athlete and we're pushing each other to the limit. When I'm at my best, an instant will happen where both of us know I'm going to win. My will is stronger than my competitor. Often, this can happen as early as the second lap of a race. Once 'the turning' occurs, the outcome is inevitable — even if the fans don't know it until after we've crossed the finish line.

Of course, I've been 'turned' too, when up against a better athlete. But not today. At that moment — I'd 'turned' Marks — and we both knew it. I'd shown I was stronger than he — that I had the power. Elated, I felt the confidence, the belief in my femininity restored as I saw the look of anguish and shame cross his features. I steadily, relentlessly met his eyes — daring him to deny what I'd said.

He could not. With a strangled sob, utterly disgraced in front of our peers, he ran from the lounge.

To my amazement, I ran after him. I sensed it was not quite over. I found him in the hallway, leaning against a locker, tears running down his face.

I can't say I felt compassion for him — not after all he had done. But I'd reached a point where I didn't want to add to his pain. At the least, I'd forced him to confront his demon — that couldn't help but make a difference. I walked up to him and stood there firmly, my arms folded under my breasts.

"How... how did you know?" he stammered.

"It was obvious in hindsight, I guess."

"Once I heard you were going to be a girl — I... I found myself dreaming about what it would be like. I kept fantasizing about GB happening to me. I... I would obsess over it. And then you came to school as a female — and... and you were so pretty and so feminine and seemed so happy! I just got more and more jealous. And I couldn't figure out why! I'd never wanted to be a girl before — but when it happened to you, it was all I could think about. And boys aren't ever supposed to want to be girls — so I got more scared that others would find out how I really felt — and I got angrier and angrier. I guess I... blamed you for making me feel this way."

"Chances are, Marks, you felt that way your whole life — you just never accepted it."

"I'm so sorry, Stephanie. I... I just lost control."

"It's too late for apologies, Marks. But if you really want to make it better — then listen to me now. I've done my research. I know the transgendered are a peaceful, nonviolent lot. There's a darkness in you that has nothing to do with your sex. You've been hurting people for a long, long time. Even if you woke up tomorrow with a perfect girl's body — you'd still be a danger to yourself and those around you. You've got some serious issues you need to fix... fast. Get some help, Marks. If you want to make up for what you've done... get some goddamn help."

Then I turned and walked away. I still couldn't stomach his presence — the image of being bound and stripped half-naked before him remained. But now I could balance it with the strength I'd been able to prove to both of us. And who knows — maybe he would get the therapy he so desperately needed. I wasn't betting the farm on it — but there was a chance.

I gained high praise from everyone over my demolition of Andy Marks. It only took a couple of hours for the story to spread across the entire school — after which, no one was taking him seriously. Even the various nerds and geeks he'd tormented were eager to challenge his twisted authority.

But it turned out not to be necessary. Marks and his partners-in-slime essentially disappeared from that day forward. They showed up for classes, but otherwise they avoided contact with all the other kids. And it was for sure the other kids wanted nothing to do with them. In life, you reap what you sow. We'd all be graduating soon and they'd have a fresh start somewhere else. Perhaps they'd learn their lesson and try to act like human beings. Perhaps.

But in the meantime, things settled back to normal. I continued my intense workouts under Coach Bradford's guidance and accompanied the team to the various post- season title meets. Becky made it to the sectional race — the farthest she'd ever gotten. I cheered loudly for her and later, at the State championships, we all cheered as Hal finished third in the two-mile. And, for the first time in years, Milford had an athlete go all the way to the top — Big Mark Williams finished second in the shot-put and won the state title in the discus. We were all giddy with delight for him.

Of course, every silver lining has its cloud. Melody McCarthy won the championship in the girl's mile — with a 4:50 that nearly matched my 4:49 from earlier in the season. I watched with more than a little resentment as she received her medal. From the stands, I locked eyes with her — a brief battle of wills. Grrrrr. I couldn't wait for our showdown at the National meet next week.

During this time, I was moving deeper and deeper into my girlhood. I learned a whole new vocabulary: healing posts, scrunchies, applicators, clarifiers and so much more. The complexity of being a girl was still intimidating.

But it was also fun. I grew ever closer to Becky, Sue and Arleen as the final days of our school life passed by.

And then there was Hal. Each time we said goodnight, our embrace lasted longer and our kisses grew more passionate. Until one evening, after a dinner/movie date, I found myself necking with him along one of those quiet rural roads I used to take Sue on. We'd been parked in his car for about half an hour when he suggested we get into the back seat.

Now I'd still been 'attending' to myself at night to keep my hormones under control — but by this point I had no interest in pretending to resist. God, I was so hot for him! He was very gentle and never put any pressure on me for sex — which made him all the sexier to me. So I eagerly moved to the back of the car, where we resumed that delightful French kissing — the music on the stereo carrying us along.

I was in a daze, bedazzled by the wonder, the magic of his body against mine. So I shouldn't have been surprised when after a while I found myself sitting on his lap — wearing only my panties. He was down to his boxers and was staring with apparent joy at my chest. How had this happened? How had I let this boy undress me so easily? I couldn't even remember when my skirt and bra had come off!

All those questions were driven from my mind when he took one swollen nipple into his mouth. Oh! I felt as though my whole body had been reduced to a single point of flesh, where his tongue was ever so gently rolling over the tip. Mmmmm. Soooo nice. He cupped my other breast in his palm — the nipple hardened instantly. He carefully squeezed, sending sparks of pleasure across my entire chest.

And down below, too. Those cute little panties of mine were growing wetter by the second. It was almost like I was drooling — only between my legs. Our breathing grew ragged as I writhed on his lap —