In Time Will It Come, Kaitlyn Garlets [classic novels to read .TXT] 📗

join the group of Hate Zora Airvita Club? Oh, God. I’m so stupid. There went a perfectly good guy that actually had a small speech about me, telling me that he didn’t care if I was suicidal and that it didn’t bother him. What am I thinking?
You don’t need him. He can take care of himself.
Yes, I do need him. He was actually trying with me, and I let him down.
Well, who cares anyways? What’s one person that actually likes me going to do?
He probably hates me now.
I gape at David as he returns with gauze over his wound that I had given him. He has a smile on his face. He walks over to me and sighs.
“Not only are you suicidal, but your also murderous. I like it. But seriously, I am totally sorry. I thought we were cool now. I bet you hate me now.” He looks down at the floor.
I blink a few times. What? I was just thinking the same thing. What is it going to take to get rid of this guy? Murder? Heck, I’m not capable of that, am I? No, but when I think about it, I had just stabbed him with a needle that I yanked out of my arm. The sudden realization comes to me.
I look down at arm and see that I had bled all over the bed. I scream.
“Oh, my God,” David says. He runs from the room.
So much blood. I can’t think straight.
What have I done?
It feels like my life flashed before my eyes.
I want to die now.
No, I don’t want to die.
People care about me.
No, no one cares about me.
David cares about me.
But he doesn’t even know me.
So what? Who cares if he doesn’t know me well enough?
He still came back, even though I stabbed him with my own IV.
Why am I so stupid?
I slip into unconsciousness.

Unknown time-------------------------------------------------------------------------Zora

Thisisnotgoingthewayiplannedmylifetogo. I wanted my life to be filled with people who love me. That’s the way it was, until Rasimus died. It was my fault. I’ve been telling myself this whole time that it wasn’t my fault. Everyone around me tells me that it’s my fault. Their right. It is my fault.
It happened while making breakfast. Rasimus was on the phone, talking to his boss. He hangs up the phone, angry. I grab something from the cupboard. I think its salt for my eggs, but its not. I decide to give the eggs to Rasimus because I was feeling sorry for him because he just lost his job. He sits at the table and I decide to make myself some cereal instead because I’m running late for school. This was when I actually cared about life and school and people and how I looked.
“How do I look?” I had asked Rasimus, who took a bite out of the eggs that were supposed to be for me. He gives me a thumbs-up and smiles, letting a few scrambled eggs fall from his mouth. I giggled and kissed him on the cheek and made myself a bowl of cereal. I never really liked cereal all that much, but it was all that we really had in the house. Mom walks into the kitchen and kisses Rasimus on the cheek, who does the same to her. Then dad shows up, tucking his shirt into his pants while trying to make a tie look like a tie, but miserably failing at it. He stops in front of mom, who chuckles and fixes his tie for him. He gives her a kiss.
I finish my cereal and wash my bowl and dry it and place it back in the cupboard where it belonged and went to brush my teeth.
When I came back into the kitchen, Rasimus was sitting at the table, looking at his eggs. “Rasimus, are you alright?” I had asked him. Mom and dad glance over at him, hoping it was nothing.
He nods, then walks out of the room, not bothering to wash or dry his dishes. I smile and take the plate from the table. I notice something strange about the eggs. It almost looks like there’s something like pepper in the eggs. Rasimus doesn’t like pepper because he’s allergic to it. We don’t even have any in the house. I pick at the strange-looking substances on the plate. I pick one up and smell it.
I know that smell anywhere. I scream and rush over to the cupboard. With shaking hands, I pick up the rat poison box that we keep in there for when we have rats. We haven’t had any since a long while, but it was there all the same.
“Mom!” I scream.
Mom walks back into the kitchen and sees the look on my face. “What’s the matter?” she asks.
I can’t say it. So I hand her the box and point to the eggs that are sitting on the edge of the sink. She doesn’t understand for a second. “Oh, my God.” She drops the rat poison and it spills all over the floor as she runs to find dad, who runs to find Rasimus, who we all find lying on the floor, dead.
Things were a blur after that. We had an autopsy on Rasimus, and it was the rat poison that had killed him. He had been allergic to four things in the rat poison. It wasn’t the rat poison that killed him. It was the stuff in it that had killed him. And I let him die. I killed him.
We buried Rasimus a week after we found out what had killed him.

Unknown time-------------------------------------------------------------------------Zora

I don’t know where I am. I open my eyes and see that I’m in a different room, probably in the same hospital. Someone or something had woken me up. I think. Maybe I’m dead. I have always thought that when you die, its like you never died at all and your in the same room and clothes that you died in. I’ve always wondered what it would be like to die.
“Zora,” a familiar voice says in a whisper. I turn my head to the left. No one. I turn my head to the right. No one. “Its me, your big brother.”
I scream. I scream loud. I must be dead if I’m seeing my dead brother right in front of me. “You’re not real! You died!”
My dead brother shakes his head. “I am dead, your right. But you are not far from dead.” He walks over to me and kisses my forehead.
I sob loudly. “I killed you, Raz. I didn’t mean to! I’m so sorry!” Tears blur my vision all around me, but I can still see Rasimus as clear as day. I must be dead and he’s just playing a trick on me because I killed him. “I killed you,” I manage to say out loud again. He hugs me to him and lets me sob onto his clothing he died in.
“I need you to be strong for me, sis. I want you to live and have a happy life. People on earth care about you,” he says. He lifts me up out of the bed and faces me towards the window. But I’m not seeing anything from outside. It’s my house. Our house. Mom—my real mom is there. With dad. He has a soda can in his hand instead of a beer bottle. He’s actually smiling. I watch as mom and dad hug and it bring more tears to my eyes.
“I don’t understand,” I finally say, glancing at Rasimus.
He nods, and then takes me back to the bed, but he doesn’t place me back there. Instead, I see myself, sleeping in the bed. I look like I lost a lot of weight. David is there, and so is my step-mom. David looks so much older. He has a beard and a mustache. I notice that I look a lot older too, so does my step-mom. She’s crying and David stands and rubs her back. They embrace each other in a hug.
“I can’t believe that she tried to kill herself again. I thought she was doing so well with you, David. You’ve been together for almost ten years now,” mom says. Ten years? “She looked so happy at your wedding. I don’t understand what went wrong.” Wedding?
David nods and I watch a tear fall down his cheek. It gets caught in his beard. He doesn’t wipe it away. “I know. I have no idea. I thought things were going well enough too. She didn’t seem to be depressed anymore. I try and give her what she wants, but I don’t think any of us can give it to us.”
Mom nods, then flops back down in the chair. Then the doctor comes in, his head down. “This is the third time this year that she’s tried to kill herself. Is she still taking her medication?” David and my step mom nod.
“Well, actually, I don’t know,” David said. “I think she is. She says she is. She seems so much happier, and then this happened. Why do you think she keeps doing this?”
“She’s too gone now, I’m afraid. She’s going to die the next time she does something like this. She seems to be slowly dying from the inside out, I’m afraid. It’s not something we can stop.” He walks out of the room.
Rasimus smiles sadly at me. “You’re going to keep trying to kill yourself until you eventually do die. I don’t want my sister to die. Not until it’s her time.” The moving picture of me and everyone else disappears and Rasimus lies me down on the bed once again.
He kisses me on the cheek and leans in to whisper something to me.

I scream. Tears sting my eyes, but I don’t care. “Rasimus!” I scream. David grabs me by the arms and holds me, rocking me back and forth. “Rasimus came to me, David. He came to me. He told me that it wasn’t my fault that he died. He told me not to worry about him anymore because he’s in Heaven with all the angels that love him. He told me that,” I say. I move away from David. He’s searching me for something that I don’t know of.
“I know. You were talking as if he was sitting or standing right here. You said things like, ‘I don’t understand’ and ‘ten years’ and ‘wedding’. What does that even mean? Do you want me to get the doctor? He told me to if you awoke.” I swallow and nod slowly. He stands, but before he does, I grab his hand and squeeze it. He almost looks surprised. “And you know what? I’ve been coming here for a long time now. Its good to have you back.” A long time? What did that mean? He was joking right? He isn’t because I almost laugh out loud when I finally notice that he has a beard growing on his chin.
The doctor comes in a few seconds later, smiling. “Good news, Zora Airvita. You’re good as new. Just don’t cut yourself anymore. And just to let you know, you were in a coma for almost ten years. It’s really good to have you back. Would you like me to call your parents?” He looks down at the clipboard in his hands. “Uh, a Martha Airvita and a Ron Airvita, am I right?”
I nod. “Wait, what? I am so confused. I was just in a coma and your not even going to check to see if I’m fine?” I demand.
He nods. “We will once your family gets here.