Hamlet, William Shakespeare [most read books of all time .txt] 📗

/> As I do thee.--Something too much of this.--
There is a play to-night before the king;
One scene of it comes near the circumstance,
Which I have told thee, of my father's death:
I pr'ythee, when thou see'st that act a-foot,
Even with the very comment of thy soul
Observe mine uncle: if his occulted guilt
Do not itself unkennel in one speech,
It is a damned ghost that we have seen;
And my imaginations are as foul
As Vulcan's stithy. Give him heedful note;
For I mine eyes will rivet to his face;
And, after, we will both our judgments join
In censure of his seeming.

Hor.
Well, my lord:
If he steal aught the whilst this play is playing,
And scape detecting, I will pay the theft.

Ham.
They are coming to the play. I must be idle:
Get you a place.

[Danish march. A flourish. Enter King, Queen, Polonius, Ophelia,
Rosencrantz, Guildenstern, and others.]

King.
How fares our cousin Hamlet?

Ham.
Excellent, i' faith; of the chameleon's dish: I eat the air,
promise-crammed: you cannot feed capons so.

King.
I have nothing with this answer, Hamlet; these words are not
mine.

Ham.
No, nor mine now. My lord, you play'd once i' the university, you
say? [To Polonius.]

Pol.
That did I, my lord, and was accounted a good actor.

Ham.
What did you enact?

Pol.
I did enact Julius Caesar; I was kill'd i' the Capitol; Brutus
killed me.

Ham.
It was a brute part of him to kill so capital a calf there.--Be
the players ready?

Ros.
Ay, my lord; they stay upon your patience.

Queen.
Come hither, my dear Hamlet, sit by me.

Ham.
No, good mother, here's metal more attractive.

Pol.
O, ho! do you mark that? [To the King.]

Ham.
Lady, shall I lie in your lap?
[Lying down at Ophelia's feet.]

Oph.
No, my lord.

Ham.
I mean, my head upon your lap?

Oph.
Ay, my lord.

Ham.
Do you think I meant country matters?

Oph.
I think nothing, my lord.

Ham.
That's a fair thought to lie between maids' legs.

Oph.
What is, my lord?

Ham.
Nothing.

Oph.
You are merry, my lord.

Ham.
Who, I?

Oph.
Ay, my lord.

Ham.
O, your only jig-maker! What should a man do but be merry?
for look you how cheerfully my mother looks, and my father died
within 's two hours.

Oph.
Nay, 'tis twice two months, my lord.

Ham.
So long? Nay then, let the devil wear black, for I'll have a
suit of sables. O heavens! die two months ago, and not forgotten
yet? Then there's hope a great man's memory may outlive his life
half a year: but, by'r lady, he must build churches then; or else
shall he suffer not thinking on, with the hobby-horse, whose
epitaph is 'For, O, for, O, the hobby-horse is forgot!'

[Trumpets sound. The dumb show enters.]

[Enter a King and a Queen very lovingly; the Queen embracing
him and he her. She kneels, and makes show of protestation
unto him. He takes her up, and declines his head upon her
neck: lays him down upon a bank of flowers: she, seeing
him asleep, leaves him. Anon comes in a fellow, takes off his
crown, kisses it, pours poison in the king's ears, and exit. The
Queen returns, finds the King dead, and makes passionate action.
The Poisoner with some three or four Mutes, comes in again,
seeming to lament with her. The dead body is carried away. The
Poisoner wooes the Queen with gifts; she seems loth and unwilling
awhile, but in the end accepts his love.]

[Exeunt.]

Oph.
What means this, my lord?

Ham.
Marry, this is miching mallecho; it means mischief.

Oph.
Belike this show imports the argument of the play.

[Enter Prologue.]

Ham.
We shall know by this fellow: the players cannot keep counsel;
they'll tell all.

Oph.
Will he tell us what this show meant?

Ham.
Ay, or any show that you'll show him: be not you ashamed to
show, he'll not shame to tell you what it means.

Oph.
You are naught, you are naught: I'll mark the play.

Pro.
For us, and for our tragedy,
Here stooping to your clemency,
We beg your hearing patiently.

Ham.
Is this a prologue, or the posy of a ring?

Oph.
'Tis brief, my lord.

Ham.
As woman's love.

[Enter a King and a Queen.]

P. King.
Full thirty times hath Phoebus' cart gone round
Neptune's salt wash and Tellus' orbed ground,
And thirty dozen moons with borrow'd sheen
About the world have times twelve thirties been,
Since love our hearts, and Hymen did our hands,
Unite commutual in most sacred bands.

P. Queen.
So many journeys may the sun and moon
Make us again count o'er ere love be done!
But, woe is me, you are so sick of late,
So far from cheer and from your former state.
That I distrust you. Yet, though I distrust,
Discomfort you, my lord, it nothing must:
For women's fear and love holds quantity;
In neither aught, or in extremity.
Now, what my love is, proof hath made you know;
And as my love is siz'd, my fear is so:
Where love is great, the littlest doubts are fear;
Where little fears grow great, great love grows there.

P. King.
Faith, I must leave thee, love, and shortly too;
My operant powers their functions leave to do:
And thou shalt live in this fair world behind,
Honour'd, belov'd, and haply one as kind
For husband shalt thou,--

P. Queen.
O, confound the rest!
Such love must needs be treason in my breast:
In second husband let me be accurst!
None wed the second but who kill'd the first.

Ham.
[Aside.] Wormwood, wormwood!

P. Queen.
The instances that second marriage move
Are base respects of thrift, but none of love.
A second time I kill my husband dead
When second husband kisses me in bed.

P. King.
I do believe you think what now you speak;
But what we do determine oft we break.
Purpose is but the slave to memory;
Of violent birth, but poor validity:
Which now, like fruit unripe, sticks on the tree;
But fall unshaken when they mellow be.
Most necessary 'tis that we forget
To pay ourselves what to ourselves is debt:
What to ourselves in passion we propose,
The passion ending, doth the purpose lose.
The violence of either grief or joy
Their own enactures with themselves destroy:
Where joy most revels, grief doth most lament;
Grief joys, joy grieves, on slender accident.
This world is not for aye; nor 'tis not strange
That even our loves should with our fortunes change;
For 'tis a question left us yet to prove,
Whether love lead fortune, or else fortune love.
The great man down, you mark his favourite flies,
The poor advanc'd makes friends of enemies;
And hitherto doth love on fortune tend:
For who not needs shall never lack a friend;
And who in want a hollow friend doth try,
Directly seasons him his enemy.
But, orderly to end where I begun,--
Our wills and fates do so contrary run
That our devices still are overthrown;
Our thoughts are ours, their ends none of our own:
So think thou wilt no second husband wed;
But die thy thoughts when thy first lord is dead.

P. Queen.
Nor earth to me give food, nor heaven light!
Sport and repose lock from me day and night!
To desperation turn my trust and hope!
An anchor's cheer in prison be my scope!
Each opposite that blanks the face of joy
Meet what I would have well, and it destroy!
Both here and hence pursue me lasting strife,
If, once a widow, ever I be wife!

Ham.
If she should break it now! [To Ophelia.]

P. King.
'Tis deeply sworn. Sweet, leave me here awhile;
My spirits grow dull, and fain I would beguile
The tedious day with sleep.
[Sleeps.]

P. Queen.
Sleep rock thy brain,
And never come mischance between us twain!

[Exit.]

Ham.
Madam, how like you this play?

Queen.
The lady protests too much, methinks.

Ham.
O, but she'll keep her word.

King.
Have you heard the argument? Is there no offence in't?

Ham.
No, no! They do but jest, poison in jest; no offence i' the
world.

King.
What do you call the play?

Ham.
The Mouse-trap. Marry, how? Tropically. This play is the
image of a murder done in Vienna: Gonzago is the duke's name;
his wife, Baptista: you shall see anon; 'tis a knavish piece of
work: but what o' that? your majesty, and we that have free
souls, it touches us not: let the gall'd jade wince; our withers
are unwrung.

[Enter Lucianus.]

This is one Lucianus, nephew to the King.

Oph.
You are a good chorus, my lord.

Ham.
I could interpret between you and your love, if I could see
the puppets dallying.

Oph.
You are keen, my lord, you are keen.

Ham.
It would cost you a groaning to take off my edge.

Oph.
Still better, and worse.

Ham.
So you must take your husbands.--Begin, murderer; pox, leave
thy damnable faces, and begin. Come:--'The croaking raven doth
bellow for revenge.'

Luc.
Thoughts black, hands apt, drugs fit, and time agreeing;
Confederate season, else no creature seeing;
Thou mixture rank, of midnight weeds collected,
With Hecate's ban thrice blasted, thrice infected,
Thy natural magic and dire property
On wholesome life usurp immediately.

[Pours the poison into the sleeper's ears.]

Ham.
He poisons him i' the garden for's estate. His name's Gonzago:
The story is extant, and written in very choice Italian; you
shall see anon how the murderer gets the love of Gonzago's wife.

Oph.
The King rises.

Ham.
What, frighted with false fire!

Queen.
How fares my lord?

Pol.
Give o'er the play.

King.
Give me some light:--away!

All.
Lights, lights, lights!

[Exeunt all but Hamlet and Horatio.]

Ham.
Why, let the strucken deer go weep,
The hart ungalled play;
For some must watch, while some must sleep:
So runs the world away.--
Would not this, sir, and a forest of feathers--if the rest of my
fortunes turn Turk with me,--with two Provincial roses on my
razed shoes, get me a fellowship in a cry of players, sir?

Hor.
Half a share.

Ham.
A whole one, I.
For thou dost know, O Damon dear,
This realm dismantled was
Of Jove himself; and now reigns here
A very, very--pajock.

Hor.
You might have rhymed.

Ham.
O good Horatio, I'll take the ghost's word for a thousand
pound! Didst perceive?

Hor.
Very well, my lord.

Ham.
Upon the talk of the poisoning?--

Hor.
I did very well note him.

Ham.
Ah, ha!--Come, some music! Come, the recorders!--
For if the king like not the comedy,
Why then, belike he likes it not, perdy.
Come, some music!

[Enter Rosencrantz and Guildenstern.]

Guil.
Good my lord, vouchsafe me a word with you.

Ham.
Sir, a whole history.

Guil.
The king, sir--

Ham.
Ay, sir, what of him?

Guil.
Is, in his retirement, marvellous distempered.