Bound to Her, Deborah Pin [kiss me liar novel english .TXT] 📗

short while thereafter with Doctor

Jorgenson on their tail, threatening to kick them both out if they disturbed her. Katrina reassured him she could handle a little

conversation with the two most boring detectives in the world and he watched them suspiciously for a moment before excusing himself from the room again.

Katrina talked at length about the part of the story they’d not

witnessed and she cried a good portion of that time. Imogen sat beside her on the bed, rubbing her back or squeezing her shoulder.

She’d been so relieved to be alive she’d not really let herself think about the part she’d played in ending a man’s life. The life was

threatening hers and that ought to be enough to make it okay and vindicate her guilt—but sadly, she was learning it was just plain hard to

be responsible for sticking a knife in a man’s gut even if that man wanted

to rape and murder her.

In the end though it had been Josh who’d finished him off. She’d thought until the very last moment when his aim shifted down to the floor in front of her that it would be her life ending but Josh squeezed the trigger, plugging a hole through Clinton’s chest.

He’d sobbed like a baby afterward but had wasted little time pulling

her up and dragging her out of the room when he heard SWAT officers

storming the house. But the house was old and what they’d failed to realize was the garage was an add-on. The old cellar door still let out right into the garage and while the officers were storming the upstairs and just making it into the basement and searching through the cluttered

and dark rooms, he was dragging her up the cellar stairs and into the garage in hopes of escaping, though she couldn’t imagine he was holding

out much hope at that point.

When she started crying for the last time as she related the details to

the detectives, she couldn’t seem to figure out how to turn the

waterworks off and they finally stood and offered to catch up with her after she was released.

Imogen asked about Dillon and Stephens as she stood to walk them to

the door. Katrina cringed at the sound of his name and she wasn’t really

even sure why. Seeing him in front of her at the house had been one of

the most emotional moments of her life. He stood in front of her looking

as desperate as she felt but there was no denying she’d put herself in the

position yet again.

She’d made the decision to run away from him rather than face him in

all his fury and anger and it had nearly gotten her killed. She just didn’t

know how to feel about any of it anymore, least of all him.

“I’m guessing they’re both getting their asses reamed at the moment.”

There was a subtle smirk on Smith’s face as he spoke and Terrell glared

at him for a moment. Then they were gone and Imogen turned back to her.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“What?”

“Don’t play stupid. He’s going to show up soon to see you. You know he will. His family too perhaps.”

“I can’t. Not right now.” She looked up to Imogen’s eyes. She could

see unvoiced disagreement in her expression but she kept her peace—at

least for the time being. Imogen would always speak her mind and Kat

knew it would come soon enough but she meant it when she said it. She

just wasn’t ready to deal with him. And at the same time she couldn’t stop thinking about him.

She fell into a restless sleep that woke her constantly as she dreamed

of being raped, tortured, killed. The next round of nightmares, she saw herself killing him, she felt the knife plunge into his body, she heard the

sickening sound of slicing flesh and she felt the warm ooze of his blood

around her fingers.

Every time she woke Imogen was there to hush her. It became an

endless game of sleeping, waking in terror, being shushed like a baby and then doing it all over again. But she was alive. She was not going to

end up as some dead body in a ditch somewhere. At least not on this day.

* * * * *

He usually liked Imogen. He liked Imogen a lot actually but as she crept from Katrina’s room she shook her head. “She doesn’t want to see

anyone.”

“Anyone.” He mumbled the words as he contemplated what they

might mean.

“You.” Imogen looked a bit devastated as she spoke the word. “She doesn’t want to see you—” His jaw clenched tight at her words. “Right

now.”

“Right now.” He repeated her.

“Yet…”

“Yet…” He was incapable of any original speech and as he glanced

up to her feeling pathetic and stupid, she pursed her lips and cocked her

head sympathetically to the side. Stephens reached for her shoulder and

squeezed gently.

“I’m sorry, Dillon.” She was practically whispering.

“You’ll tell her I stopped by then?” She nodded and he turned from her to head back the way he’d come.

To say he was devastated was an understatement. He wasn’t sure

why he’d expected her to be happy to see him after his cruel treatment of

her over the past forty-eight hours.

He’d nearly forgotten all about it, having gotten so wrapped up in her

nearly dying and all, but there it was. She certainly had not forgotten what a prick the man who loved her could be. It didn’t much matter if he’d had a good reason to be upset with her or not. He’d been too upset.

He’d said too many cruel and awful things to her and he’d just been too

big an asshole for her to forgive.

He sat silently in the car as Stephens drove them back to the precinct.

He stared out the window. He was more relieved than he could even put

into words. She was finally safe. Finally—and yet he felt as though he’d

lost her in the process.

Balancing Seth and Katrina had been his undoing. Ironically, they

balanced perfectly with each other. It was he who’d fucked it up—

thinking he could handle Seth, Katrina and the threat that had loomed over her head.

She’d been right to say he’d set her up for failure. He had. Dillon had

been right to tell her she had no reason to feel guilty about her situation.

He was absolutely right about that. But right didn’t seem to change much

for them. It had fallen apart regardless.

When he walked into Molly’s house she met him at the front door and

gave him a hug. “The boys are asleep upstairs. How is she?” It was late—

well after midnight—and she looked as exhausted as he felt.

“I wouldn’t know. She won’t see me.” He stumbled past her and she

followed him into the kitchen. He grabbed a beer from the fridge and she

grabbed her own.

“Give her time, Dillon.”

“No. I think I fucked it up.” He nodded in self-chastisement. It wasn’t

hard to remember the hurt in her eyes when he’d condemned her for being human. He could still easily hear her quiet sobs as she pleaded with him and he remembered every last word she’d spoken to him that

morning—the last moment he saw her before she nearly died.

“What did Greenwood say?”

“Three weeks unpaid suspension. He spent the better part of an hour

yelling but in truth he’s letting me off pretty easy. If I’d have shot the man, I’m not sure I’d be keeping my job, given my completely

inappropriate relationship with the victim. There’s no question she

stabbed Latham in self-defense and Josh Grant is ultimately the one who

put a bullet through his chest and killed him. The fact I had little bearing on how it played out is likely my saving grace.”

“That’s a relief. Mom and Dad are flying in tomorrow. I’ve been

talking to them all night. They’re really concerned about you both.”

“Yeah? Well unless they have better luck than I had getting in to see

Katrina they shouldn’t expect much.” He looked up from the spot his eyes were glued to on the table to see her sad face peering back at him.

He took a deep breath. “It was just too much.” She watched him,

waiting for him to continue. “Not the best way to start a relationship.”

“So take away psychopaths trying to fuck it all up—would you two

have worked? Better yet, would you three have worked?”

He didn’t need to think long to answer that one. “Yes. I love her. No

question. Seth loves her too. We’re both crazy about her and I saw our life with her.”

“Then maybe it’s not time to throw in the towel just yet.”

He spaced off for a moment. The first time he met her came popping

into his head. She’d been so angry at him. He’d deserved it and she’d held nothing back. And yet even with all her attitude and pissiness he’d

been completely drawn to her. He’d loved her spunk, her quirkiness.

Catching her staring at his ass in the parking lot before she’d sped off

had sealed the deal for him. He wanted her instantly and he’d wanted her more and more with every passing day since—even through his

anger at her he’d wanted nothing more than to get past it and move forward with her.

“I told her I wanted to marry her.” He mumbled the words as Molly’s

mouth dropped open.

“And?”

“And she said someday.”

“What does that mean?”

“Someday being after the psychopaths were all gone and we could have a life that didn’t revolve around this constant fight to keep her safe.”

“So…someday meaning today?”

“Like I said, I think I fucked that up.”

“And like I said, it’s not time to throw in the towel yet.”

* * * * *

He wanted to believe what Molly said but when he’d left Imogen a message asking that Katrina call him and that message went unanswered

the next day, throwing in the towel seemed to be exactly what Katrina wanted to do.

When he left two more messages over the next couple of days and

still received no response, he started losing hope Katrina ever wanted to

hear from him again. And on the fourth day when he’d still heard nothing from her, and Seth asked him where she was, he finally

conceded the woman he loved was done with him.

“Seth, I was pretty awful to Katrina when I found out how she’d lost

her cell phone. I don’t think I can fix that. It was my fault.”

“No duh, Dad. I know you were a dick to her.”

“Language.” He was trying to be stern but given his own guilt at having driven away the woman he loved he wasn’t doing his parenting

skills much justice.

“Stop being such a chicken. Go see her. It’s not like it’s any secret where she’s staying. She still has a sub for class, so she’s just sitting at Ms. Graham’s house being upset. If you like her, you need to go talk to

her. Tell her you’re sorry.”

Seth was looking at him in exasperation and Dillon’s parents who

were sitting around the dining room table were watching the

conversation with interest. “It’s what you’d tell me to do if I was mean to

someone!”

Dillon didn’t miss the smirk on his mother’s face.

“It’s complicated, Seth.”

“Stop saying that! Why do grownups always say that? Uncomplicate

it. What’s so hard about that?” Seth stalked from the room, leaving him

to fend for himself against his parents’ prying eyes. They said nothing, just telepathically kicked his ass with their chastising expressions.

But none of them quite understood his guilt. He’d hurt the woman he

loved in a way she could never deserve and she didn’t want him

anymore as a result. He didn’t blame her. He blamed himself. They had

everything they’d always needed and now it was lost. They’d waited for

this time, this time that was free of threat and now it was here and she

was gone.

And it was his fault.

Chapter Thirty-Three

“Dillon called again today, Trink.”

Katrina’s brow instantly furrowed but she said nothing. She’d

replaced her phone already but she was guessing he didn’t know that.

Why would he? She was refusing to speak to him.

Oddly, it wasn’t even as though she didn’t want to speak to him or see him. She missed him so much it hurt. But she didn’t know how to go

back to a life with him. Maybe she’d been right when she’d suggested that adrenaline was fueling their relationship. Perhaps her desire for him

would fade away with time.

Perhaps she was just a damn idiot. She loved him. She didn’t question

it for even one moment. Adrenaline hadn’t fueled their relationship—

they had. And they’d done it easily. But so much had happened.

She’d fucked up and endangered his son and that was always going

to be there between them she feared. He’d lashed out and shown her just

how cruel and terrifying he could be. She’d deserved it but she wasn’t sure she could cope with it.

She was tired of feeling guilty. She’d never been prone to guilt so easily before, but it was a constant thing for her now and she was sick and damn tired of feeling as though her life was sullying everyone else’s

around her.

She’d met with a counselor earlier in the week at Imogen’s urging.

Apparently you couldn’t be part of killing a person—even a bad one—

and come out unscathed. She was going to be seeing the kindly older woman a couple of times a week for a while and she was oddly looking

forward to it. Daphne was her name. Of course, it reminded her of Dillon’s mother Delphi but she just had to push those thoughts from her

mind.

Daphne hadn’t thought she was crazy at all when she’d talked about

the incessant and ceaseless guilt that plagued her. She’d understood it fully. She’d even given her insight into it and explained it in such a way

that Katrina questioned why she’d ever been confused by it.

Of course it made sense. Her life had affected so many others—others’

lives who she valued as much as her own—and it was impossible not to

feel guilt for the pain and fear they’d been caused. Daphne applauded Katrina’s guilt. She didn’t think it was warranted at this point but she applauded Katrina’s depth of caring for those around her.

Naturally that brought her to Dillon. She avoided talking about him as long as possible but every avenue they explored seemed to lead back

to him. Eventually she gave in.

“Why do you think you’re avoiding him?”

She shrugged. It was their second meeting, five days after DOP—

death of psycho as she’d dubbed it. Psychos in her case. What had she done to attract two such lovely men? Katrina had struggled to attract even one decent man in the past and suddenly, she had one gold mine of

a keeper who wanted to marry her, and two psychopaths on her tail all at

once. Perhaps the two psychos were nature’s way of saying tut tut tut, you don’t deserve Dillon, little girl.

“I don’t know.”

“Sure you do. So, how about you explain it to me?”

She glanced out Daphne’s window before looking back to her kind

and motherly eyes—at least what Kat thought motherly eyes would look

like. She had no real frame of reference of course.

“I think he’s too good for me.” She hated the sound of her voice when

she said it. She hated the words too. There wasn’t a single person who cared about her who would agree with that analogy and yet it was what

she felt.

“Why?”

She thought about that for a moment. She wasn’t even sure how to put it into words. There had been something amazing about seeing

Dillon standing in the driveway with his gun trained on Josh. His focus

was singular and determined. His incredible need to protect her had overridden his own safety, his own job, everything. Everything for her.

She, on the other hand, had made one stupid mistake after another, ultimately landing her in the clutches of psychopath number one. She was back to guilt again. She knew that. But it was the truth.

She opened her mouth to speak, closed it again and then finally took a

deep breath and tried to explain.

“I’m almost mesmerized by his strength, his morality, his decency. He

really is all those things. He may not be perfect but he’s amazing. I guess

I’m just not sure what he could possibly see in me. I’ve screwed up. A lot.

I mean he was willing to give up so much for me and I couldn’t seem to

hack it. His own son’s life was jeopardized by me. That would never have happened to him. He’d have been too smart to let it.”

Daphne stared at her slowly shaking her head. “First of all, he’s a cop,

so no duh. He’s trained to think about these things in a way you’re not.

Second of all, you made a great man fall in love with you all while dealing with psychopaths and your life being in danger. And you did all

that without losing your mind.” She was smiling sweetly.

“Really?” Kat was being sarcastic.

“Yes, really. You’re not crazy, dear. You’re exhausted, you’re coping,

you’re learning what it’s like to not have to fear death literally every second of your waking life again. These things affect a person in a big way. Relief that you’re safe may be the obvious emotion you would expect to feel but that doesn’t mean it’s the only thing you should expect

to feel right now. I’ll say it again, these things affect a person.”

“See? Crazy.”

“Not crazy. Normal. Cut yourself some slack. You’ve been through

hell and back over the past couple months. You dealt with it and you survived it. Stop selling yourself short. This whole disaster has taken its

toll on you but it’s done now. It’s time to get your life back.”

Daphne’s eyes flashed to the clock on the wall and she cocked her head to the side. “Time’s up. So, Tuesday and Friday next week too?”

Katrina nodded as she stood. “Thanks, Daphne.”

Daphne hugged her before Katrina left. It was Friday and Imogen had

made Katrina promise to go out to a movie that night. She was looking

forward to it after a week of sitting at Imogen’s alone during the day just

so Imogen could bring home all the well-wishes from their coworkers every night.

But even as she pulled from her parking spot at the clinic with a small

measure of optimism, she lost it when she thought of him.

* * * * *

“Hi, Imogen.” She looked wary. She was going to turn him away and

she didn’t want to. That’s what she looked like.

“Hi.”

“Can I come in?” She glanced behind her as if looking to see if the coast was clear.

“I’m not sure that’s…I’m sorry. She’s just…I don’t know what she is.

Confused?”

“It’s my fault. Imogen, I really need to talk to her.”

“Do you love her?” She looked horribly concerned.

“You know I do.”

“I mean really love her? Like rest-of-her-life love her?”

“I told her I wanted to marry her, didn’t I? Yes, I do.”

“Then figure out some way to convince her she deserves that.” Her expression was almost pleading, worried. “She’s upstairs. I assume you

know where you’re going?”

He nodded as he stepped into her entryway. “Umm…Stephens asked

me to tell you hi.” The feisty Brit beside him was suddenly blushing and

a small smile crept over her lips. But Dillon had another destination in mind.

He hopped the stairs two at a time. He might have looked in a hurry

to get to her and he was—but he was also terrified and he was trembling

even as he moved forward. When he reached her door, he knocked.

“I said I’d be down in a few, Imogen. For fuck’s sake, woman. Don’t

you British bitches have any patience?” He laughed quietly before he could stop himself. She certainly sounded like his Kat.

He pushed the door open and caught her in a robe, sitting on a chair

in front of the French doors out to the balcony, rubbing lotion into her leg. She craned her neck around and sucked in a quick and shocked breath.

“Well I’m not British and the last woman to call me a bitch had handcuffs on and I was reading her her rights—but you nailed me on the

patience. Never has been my strong suit.”

She took a steadying breath as she stood. He could hear her breathing

tremble as she exhaled and he could see it in her diaphragm as he watched her chest fall. She covered her mouth with her hand and as she

did her brow furrowed, her nostrils flared and her eyes filled with tears.

He fought the emotion pricking at the back of his eyes and he stared

at her. She’d not said a word to him, and he wasn’t sure he could handle

it if she sent him packing.

When she turned back to the window, he saw her head shake subtly.

He approached her as his heart hammered and panicked. He couldn’t let

her destroy them. He loved her too much and he knew she loved him too. She’d have to do a damn good job convincing him otherwise if she

expected him to leave her in peace.

He reached for her shoulders, clasping them in his hands as he closed

in behind her body. The sun was setting out over the water and he wanted to be able to enjoy such an incredible view with her. But that wasn’t going to happen until they made it past this hurdle.

He leaned down to her and she turned slightly toward him.

“I told you once we don’t do separate anymore. We’re a whole, you

and I.” She took another deep and shuddering breath. “I may have tried

to convince you otherwise in my anger and you may have believed me in

your need to hold yourself responsible and guilty, but it changes

nothing. We are and always will be as whole as ever.”

He waited for something—anything at all—but she just stared

straight ahead. It wasn’t all she was doing though. She sniffed back the

tears that were falling silently.

“Please look at me?” She turned slowly toward him. She looked up to

him but her eyes dropped quickly to his chest. “Please, Kat.”

He cupped her chin in his hand and gently urged her face to tilt up to

his. When she finally held his gaze without looking away he spoke. “I love you. I’m sorry I hurt you.”

She let out a pained sob as her gaze shifted from him again but he pulled her face back again. “I love you.” He said it forcefully as though

he could only make her truly understand if she heard the power behind

what he was saying. “Tell me you don’t love me if you want me to go.”

He believed she loved him. From the bottom of his heart he believed

it, but it didn’t mean he wasn’t terrified waiting to hear her say it.

“I love you.”

It was barely more than a whisper but the moment it was out of her

mouth he attacked her lips. He kissed the mouth he thought he’d never

get the chance to kiss again and he tasted her warmth as though he’d been deprived a lifetime.

Her body stilled in shock at first, but that lasted only a moment before

she turned the force of her lips on him. He pushed her body back to the

bed and when he turned her to face the bed he reached around her to undo the sash tied at her waist.

He quickly pulled his t-shirt off over his head and he splayed one hand out on her lower stomach, holding her body close to his. His chest

and stomach were tight to her back and he leaned down, kissing the top

of her shoulder before he undid the button at his waist and lowered his

zipper with his free hand.

He shoved his pants and underwear down, letting them drop to the

floor. When he leaned forward into the back side of her body she took the hint and leaned down to climb onto the bed.

He followed, keeping his body close to hers as he kicked his shoes off

and stepped out of his pants. He yanked his socks off quickly as he climbed behind her to cover her most incredible figure with his. He was

straddling her hips just below her bottom and he was so aroused it was

difficult to not simply push his way between her legs and into her body.

Instead of that he leaned down and kissed gently along the side of her

neck as she moaned and whimpered. “I love you.” He whispered the

words in her ear before he kissed her neck again.

He kissed a trail along the back of her neck as he moved her long hair

out of his way and when he ended up at her other ear he whispered again. “I love you.” He kissed along her shoulders and every so often he’d take a break to whisper it again. “I love you.”

When he rolled her over to face him her eyes were puffy and she still

had tears on her cheeks. He kissed them away. “I love you.” He couldn’t

stop telling her what she meant to him and she just watched him. He kissed her mouth. “I love you.”

He kissed a trail down to her breast that now had only the faintest of

scars running across it. “I love you.” Over to her other breast. He pulled

her nipple between his lips and she whimpered. “I love you.” He moved

farther down her body over her tummy and between her legs and he took a break from telling her how much he loved her, long enough to lie

between her legs and latch his mouth to her sex.

She started writhing beneath his mouth and her hands quickly found

his as their fingers wove together and gripped each other. He sucked her

clit between his lips, pulling and licking at it and he listened as she started to fall apart. It left her stomach muscles contracting as he watched her body twitch through her orgasm and when he finally crawled back up her body he kissed her once. “I love you.”

She bit her lip as he spoke and then she reached to his face. She caressed his lower lip, studying him as her fingers moved. She reached up and brushed a finger along his brow and hers flinched as she

watched. She trailed that same finger down the bridge of his nose to end

on his top lip and then she leaned up and kissed him. “I love you too.”

His cock was already nestled between the warm, wet lips of her sex and when he started to push into her he reached down, touching her spot

—the spot she loved to feel. He framed his fingers on either side of her

opening, pushing slowly into her body. He could feel his dick pushing past his fingers and into her tightness and he groaned until he’d finally

pushed all the way in.

He pulled his hand from between them just long enough to intertwine

his fingers with hers, pinning her hands above her head. She wrapped her legs around his hips and he started rocking into her.

He was slow at first. He watched her eyes, he studied her lips, he kissed her but when she started pushing up into him, their bodies started

moving faster. By the time she was coming again, he was pushing

powerful strokes into her and she was crying out with every deep

invasion but she held tight to his hips.

He came shortly after she did, and buried his face in her neck as he released his hold on her hands. She wrapped her arms around him,

holding him tight to her as he pulsed inside her. “I love you.” He whispered in her ear one final time before shifting their bodies so she lay

facing him.

“Marry me.” He brushed the hair from her eyes as she looked at him.

“Now marry me.”

“Yes.”

Epilogue

Five years later

“Marley, go give your brother a big hug and tell him

congratulations.” Katrina was whispering in Marley’s ear and Dillon was

chuckling beside her.

“You know she has no idea what ‘congratulations’ really means,

much less why she’s congratulating Seth.” He was taunting her as she settled into her spot by him on the blanket.

“Don’t underestimate our daughter. She’s smart for three and a half.”

“Yes she is. Takes after her mother.”

“Indeed.” He wrapped his arms around Katrina, pulling her between

his legs to sit. He started rubbing her shoulders as she stretched her neck.

She was wearing a sundress that made it very easy for him to slip his fingers under the straps and get his hands right down on her skin and she hummed as he massaged.

They were watching Marley as she ran up to Seth. He crouched down

to her level as she spoke. He laughed and picked her up, swinging her around in a circle. Seth still had his graduation gown on but it was unzipped and he’d lost his cap earlier in the day.

Seth lifted Marley to sit on his shoulders and as they made their way

across the large expanse of grass at the park to the large blanket Dillon and Kat were sitting on, he flipped Marley over his shoulders and down

onto his lap as he sat down on the blanket with them.

“Hey Dad, can Jake and I go out tonight?”

“I suppose it depends on whether you intend to act like the adult you

are or the obnoxious high schooler you used to be.”

“Hmm. Probably gonna act like a high schooler but I promise I’ll call

if we get arrested.”

“That better be a joke.”

Seth cocked his head in the annoyed manner he’d never managed to

lose and Kat laughed at them. “So that’s a yes, right?”

“Yes.”

The graduation party was in a park and it was a simple affair. Seth never cared much for big to-dos and he’d never hear a complaint from Dillon in that regard. Jake was playing Frisbee with his grandfather and

though Michael was