Mr. Rabbit at Home, Joel Chandler Harris [ap literature book list TXT] 📗
- Author: Joel Chandler Harris
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“What fuss was that?” asked Buster John, who thought that perhaps there might be a story in it.
“Why, it was the quarrel between the Monkeys and the Dogs. My great-grandfather knew all about the facts, and I’ve heard him talk it over many a time when he was sitting in the kitchen corner chewing his quid. I’ve often heard him wonder, between naps, what caused the dispute.”
“It seems to me I’ve heard something about it,” remarked Mrs. Meadows in an encouraging tone.
“Oh, yes!” exclaimed Mr. Rabbit. “It was notorious in our young days. I reckon it has been settled long before this; anyhow, I hope so.”
“What did your great-grandfather say about it?” inquired Buster John.
“If I were to tell you all he said,” responded Mr. Rabbit, shaking his head slowly, “you’d have to sit here with me for a fortnight, and of course you wouldn’t like to do that. So I’ll just up and tell you about it in my own way. I may not get it exactly right, but I’ll be bound I won’t get it far wrong, for I have nothing else in the round world to do but to sit here and think about old times.
“As well as I can remember, the way of it was about this: Away back yonder, in the times before everybody had got to be so busy trying to get the best of each other, a coolness sprang up between the Monkeys and the Dogs. Nobody knew the right of it, because nobody paid any attention to it along at first. But after awhile it got so that every time a Dog would meet a Monkey in the road, the Monkey would get up in a tree and laugh at him, and then the Dog would stop and scratch up the dirt with all four of his feet and growl.”
“Oh, I’ve seen them do that way,” said Sweetest Susan, laughing.
THE MONKEYS WOULD MAKE FACES AND SQUEAL AT THE DOGS
“Yes,” replied Mr. Rabbit, with a more solemn air than ever. “They have never got out of the habit of that kind of caper from that day to this. Well, the coolness grew into a dispute, and the dispute into a quarrel, and so there it was. The Monkeys would make faces and squeal at the Dogs, and the Dogs would show their teeth and growl at the Monkeys. It went from bad to worse, and after awhile, the Dogs would chase the Monkeys wherever they saw them, and the Monkeys would swing down from the hanging limbs and give the tails of the Dogs some terrible twists.
“Before that time the Monkeys had been living on the ground just like everybody else lived, but the Dogs had such sharp teeth and such nimble feet that the Monkeys had to take to the trees and saplings. At first they couldn’t get about in the trees as they do now. Sometimes they’d miss their footing, or lose their grip, and down they’d come right into the red jaws of the Dogs.
“Now this wasn’t pleasant at all. Even when the Monkeys didn’t fall, the ants and crawling bugs would get on them, and the dead limbs of the trees would fall and hurt them, and the wind would blow them about, and the heavy rains would fall and wet them.
“About that time the Monkeys were the most miserable creatures in the world. They were so miserable that, finally, the Head Monkey made up his mind to go and see the Wise Man who used to settle all disputes as far as he could. So the Head Monkey set out on his journey, and traveled till he came to the Wise Man’s house.
“He got on the gatepost, and looked all around, to see if there was a Dog anywhere in sight. Seeing none, he went to the front door and knocked. The Wise Man came out. He was very old. He had a beard as long as Brother Billy Goat’s, and as gray, but he was very nice and kind. The Head Monkey told his story all the way through, and the Wise Man sat and listened to every word. When he had heard it all, he shut his eyes and studied the matter over, and then he said:—
“‘Only fools get up fusses that they can’t settle. I’ll give you a fool’s remedy to settle a fool’s fuss. Go back to your own country and fetch me a bunch of the hair of a Brindle Dog. Then I’ll show you a cheap and an easy way to get rid of the whole tribe of Dogs. But be sure that you make no mistake. I must have the hair of a Brindle Dog—just that and nothing else. Then I can show you how to get rid of all the Dogs. But if you make any mistake, you will ruin the whole tribe of Monkeys.’
“The Head Monkey scratched himself on the side, quick like. Says he, ‘Oh, I’ll make no mistake. Don’t worry about me. The first time the Dogs have a burying I’ll get on a swinging limb, and when a Brindle Dog comes along I’ll reach down and pull a bunch of hair out of his hide, and by the time he gets through howling I’ll be on my journey back.’
“The Wise Man ran his fingers through his beard, and laughed to himself. Says he, ‘Very well, my young friend, but you had best be careful. A Dog of any kind will bear watching, but especially a Brindle Dog.’
“The Head Monkey made no answer. He simply grinned, and started back home. Now, it happened that after his journey was over, the Dogs had no burying for a long time. They seemed to be in better health than ever. Some traveling doctor had come along and told them that whenever they felt out of sorts they must go out in the fields and hunt for a particular kind of grass. When they found it they were to eat twenty-seven blades of it, and then go on about their business. You may not believe this,” said Mr. Rabbit, pausing in the midst of his story, “but if you will watch the Dogs right close, you will find that to this day they’ll go out and eat grass whenever they are ailing. They don’t chew it. They just bite off a great long sprig of it, and wallop it around their tongues and swallow it whole. I don’t know how they do it, but I’m telling you the plain facts.
“Well, as I was saying, it was a long time after the Head Monkey got home before the Dogs had a burying, and when they did have one it happened that there was no Brindle Dog in the procession. The rest of the Monkeys were all waiting to see what the Head Monkey was going to do, and so they forgot to bother the Dogs. When the Dogs saw that the Monkeys were quiet, they kept quiet themselves, and there was no trouble between them for a long time. Seeing that the Dogs were no longer snapping and snarling at them, some of the older Monkeys began to travel on the ground again, but the younger ones stayed in the trees where they were born.
“The Head Monkey was mighty restless. Sometimes he’d stay in the trees, and then again he’d travel on the ground, but wherever he was he always kept his eye out for a Brindle Dog. Finally, one day, when he was traveling on the ground, he heard a noise up the road, and when he turned around he saw a big Brindle Dog coming towards him. He thought to himself that now was his time or never; so he got behind a bush and waited for the Brindle Dog to come up.
“He didn’t have long to wait, for the Brindle Dog was going in a swinging trot. When he came by the bush, the Head Monkey rushed out and tried to pull a bunch of hair from the Brindle Dog’s hide. But he rushed too far. The Brindle Dog shied, as old Mr. Horse used to do when he saw a bunch of shucks in the road. He shied so quick, and he shied so far, that the Head Monkey fell short with his arm, and was carried too far by his legs. As the Brindle Dog shied, he turned and saw what it was, and then he made a rush for the Head Monkey. There was no tree near, and no way for the Head Monkey to escape. The Brindle Dog grabbed him and made short work of him. There was considerable of a fight, for the Head Monkey was strong in his arms and quick on his feet. But the Brindle Dog had a long jaw and a strong one. He grabbed the Head Monkey between shoulder and ham, and shook him up as you have seen people shake a sifter. He just held on and shook, and when he turned loose he’d shut his teeth down in a new place, so that when the rippit was over, it seemed as if there wasn’t a whole bone in the Head Monkey’s hide. But quick done is quick over: and after the Brindle Dog had done all the shaking that the case called for, he dropped the Head Monkey and went on about his business; but he had some bites and scratches on his hide, and as he trotted off he shook his ears, for one of them had been split mighty nigh in two by the Head Monkey.
“Well, after the Brindle Dog had trotted off, the Head Monkey rose from the ground and began to feel of himself. He was afraid that he had been torn in two and scattered all over the road, but when he found that he had his legs and his arms and his head and his body, he began to be more cheerful. He found he could walk. And then he found he could use his hands, and then he strutted around, and said to himself that he had whipped the fight. He was badly bruised and pretty sore, but he was not too sore to strut, and so he walked up and down the road and made his brags that he had compelled the Brindle Dog to take to his heels.
“Then he happened to think what he had come for, and he hunted all about in the road to see if he could find a bunch of the Brindle Dog’s hair. There was a good deal of hair scattered around, and in a little while the Head Monkey had gathered up a handful. He picked it over and sorted it out, and wrapped it up in a poplar leaf. Then he went home to his family and rested a day or two, for he was pretty badly bruised. And he told a big tale of how he had met the great Brindle Dog in the road, and had fanned him out in a fair fight. His children listened with all their ears, and then they jumped from limb to limb and told all the neighbors’ children that their pa was the biggest and the best of all the Monkeys.
“This went on for some time, and finally the Head Monkey felt well enough to visit the Wise Man. So he started on the journey, and after awhile he got there. He climbed the gatepost again, and looked all around to see if there was a Brindle Dog in sight. Seeing none, he went to the door and knocked, and the Wise Man came out.
“‘Good-morning,’ says the Wise Man. ‘I hope you are well.’
“‘Tolerably well, I thank you,’ says the Head Monkey. ‘And I’ve come agreeable to
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