The Tortoise and the Monkey, Imonikhe Ahimie [good book recommendations txt] 📗

cakes into his mouth. “I absolutely insist on answer, Tortoise!”

The Tortoise was now wailing at the top of his voice, calling upon all the deities as well as his ancestors to protect him from an evil end, but the Leopard insisted that the Tortoise answer his question: what was the matter with the source of the tidbits in the bag?

“I fear, my lord, that if I reveal to you the origins of these tidbits that you have condescended to partake in then, in you just anger, you will put an end to my poor existence.”

Swearing solemnly that he would do no such thing, the Leopard went on:

“All I want is the truth as to where one gets this wonderful snack; however, I am absolutely likely to put an end to your life if I do not get a satisfactory answer from you in response to my query!”

“You have me between a rock and a hard place, my lord” the Tortoise complained whiningly. “I have no choice but to comply with your just commands.”

So, still feigning reluctance, the Tortoise revealed all. The delightful contents of the bag were nothing more than the excreta of the monkey!

Monkey waste? The Leopard was skeptical; extremely so. The Tortoise, he was certain, was once more up to one of his shenanigans and he was unhesitating in voicing his opinion. All animals produced waste; it was one of the natural consequences of living. But once the business was done, the doer hastened away; who wanted to stay near foul-smelling waste? The Tortoise had better own up as to how he came by these wonderfully delicious morsels.

The Tortoise spoke in a quavering voice.

“You are correct, my lord, but not all together so. Of course, ever animal produces waste and, as you have so brilliantly observed, immediately leaves the vicinity of the waste; waste, after all, is disgusting and distasteful and, once rid of it we hasten away from it. But, sire, I discovered that not all waste is disgusting and distasteful.

“Purely by chance, I discovered that my friend, the Monkey, produces two types of solid waste, the ordinary offensive type from which all reasonable folk flee once they have finished doing the needful and this type sire, delicious beyond compare!

“My lord, you know, as does every dweller in the forest, that my friendship with the Monkey is of long-standing, more years than I can remember, yet only in the last several weeks have I discovered his secret and, I must confess, the discovery was more propitious than designed.

“If I had not caught him at the job, so to speak he would never have admitted that he was able to produce this sweet stuff as a waste product! Once I knew his secret though, he freely admitted to me that this secret had been in his family for several generations, passed on from father to son!

“No one has ever suspected that the Monkey family was able to produce what, I dare say, ought to be looked at in the light of a public resource! Of course, by public resource I don’t actually mean that it would be available for every mean fellow wandering through the forest glades but surely the better folk such as yourself and, perhaps, the lion and the elephant ought to expect to have a regular supply of this resource. Just imagine how many of your illustrious ancestors have been deprived of the taste of this wonderful waste as a result of the selfishness exhibited by the Monkey and every one of his ancestors.”

As the Tortoise fell silent, the Leopard thoughtfully considered the wonderful story that he had just heard. Off hand, it seemed to be beyond the bounds of possibility. Knowing the Tortoise of old, it would seem that this was just another of his fabulous stories. Was it possible that the Monkey family who had, for generations, been friends and vassals to the Leopard family could have hidden away such an ability for so many generations? The Leopard stared at the Tortoise with a speculative glint in his eye.

Yet, there was a sort of compelling quality about what the Tortoise had said and the taste of the pudding was always in the eating and here he was munching away at all that remained of the Monkey’s waste. The Leopard made up his mind; thanking the Tortoise for the information, he promised to make his own inquiries.

As soon as the Leopard declared that he would make his own inquiries, the Tortoise began to wail even louder than he had previously. Now, he declared, he was going to get into trouble with his oldest and dearest friend for, having discovered the Monkey’s secret, the Monkey had exacted from him the most solemn of oaths not to expose his secret to another living being.

“My lord, I am prepared to face the wrath of the deities for being a breaker of solemn oaths, although I do not believe myself that reporting the existence of a public resource such as the Monkey makes to one’s liege lord could hardly be considered to be oath breaking by any stretch of imagination. No, my lord, I am not unduly worried regarding the deities who, more than any other beings, understand clearly the concept of duty and are ever ready to praise the dutiful vassal!

“My lord, it is the Monkey I really fear if he should discover that I have exposed his secret. I have no doubt that he would not scruple to murder me in my own bed as I slept at night! You know, my lord, how excitable the Monkey and all of his ancestors can be!”

This was a valid point, the Leopard admitted; the excitability of generations of Monkeys was well known. He therefore assured the Tortoise that he would by no means divulge the source of his knowledge of the Monkey’s wonderful ability; he would be the soul of discretion and the Monkey would be none the wiser after he had finished with him.

The conversation then drifted off to other matters, but as the Tortoise bid his host adieu, he once more implored the Leopard not to reveal to the Monkey how it was that he had discovered his secret. The Leopard assured him that his lips were sealed.

The Leopard visits with the Monkey (sort of)

 

First thing in the morning the very next day, the Leopard left his home and went off to pay the Monkey a visit. The Monkey was surprised to see the Leopard at his home, for it was more common for folk to pay the Leopard a visit at his home than for the Leopard to go visiting, but he was not unduly perturbed. In fact, he considered it a mark of honor, preferment, if you will, and his views were further bolstered when the Leopard informed him that he had come to seek his aid in a matter which only he, the Monkey, could be of assistance. It would please him, the Leopard went on, if the Monkey would step out with him to some more private place where they could do their talking undisturbed; the matter he wanted to discuss with his good friend, the Monkey, was not such as he wished other ears to hear.

The Monkey was feeling really chuffed up. The Leopard needed something from him which he would not discuss to the hearing of anyone else! Well, this was one up on that smug Tortoise, the Monkey was still upset with his friend over the happening of a few days back; he was certain that the Leopard had never visited the home of the Tortoise to seek his assistance in spite of the Tortoise’s belief in his brilliance!

It was thoughts such as this that ran through the Monkey’s mind as he and the Leopard went off to a secluded place well off the beaten track and, once they were private, the Leopard, speaking in the friendliest manner imaginable, informed the Monkey that he had inadvertently discovered his secret. Now, it was perfectly understandable that the Monkey had kept his unique ability a very close secret; it would not do if the whole world were to know of his unique ability for then everyone would demand some of the sweet waste that the Monkey was able to produce and the monkey would soon be dead and gone. The Monkey felt some slight traces of alarm as the Leopard spoke. What in heaven’s name, he thought, was this unique ability that the fellow was blathering on about?

The Leopard went on.

“Now, my dear Monkey, I can assure that I will guard your secret as jealously as you and your forbears have guarded it over the ages. I’m not a greedy sort, I can promise you; far from it. All that I ask is that you make a present to me from time to time of that sweet waste that the deities have enabled you to produce. So, be a good fellow and produce some of the stuff for me!”

The small traces of alarm that the Monkey had felt as the Leopard first started speaking had grown to full blown alarm. Why, the Monkey thought, would the Leopard require his waste products? And when he spoke of the delicious tasting kind in such an insinuating manner, what did he mean? Yet, it was clear from the Leopard’s mien that he was absolutely serious. So, saying a fervent prayer to every one of his ancestors, the Monkey set about complying with the Leopard’s demand. Straining himself to the utmost, the Monkey was able to produce a batch of foul smelling waste.

The next that the poor Monkey knew was a very heavy clout descending upon him.

“Not this type, you selfish thing; that other type: the honey-flavored type is what I require” the Leopard rumbled.

Well, the Monkey’s experience that day was the worst that ever happened to him. Knowing how stubborn the Monkey could be, especially when it came to protecting his secret of the delicious waste that he was able to produce, the Leopard employed all means to get the Monkey to admit; in a word, the Monkey was thrashed that day to within an inch of his life since he was unable to satisfy the Leopard’s demands. Indeed, the only thing that saved the Monkey’s life that fateful day was the thought which occurred to the Leopard as he gave the fellow a sound thrashing that killing the miserably selfish fellow would put an end to the source of that delicious tasting waste that he craved. The Tortoise, it seemed, was absolutely right; the selfish fellow would clearly rather die than admit to his wonderful gift!

Flinging the poor Monkey aside, the Leopard stalked away radiating anger and disgust. He would have to really cozy up to the Tortoise, he thought. That wise fellow would always be able to get some of the stuff from his selfish friend. He was glad, as he went off home, that he had not, in his anger, succumbed to the temptation of proving the Monkey a liar by calling upon the Tortoise to testify. Such a move, he saw now in his cooler moments, would certainly have backfired. That miserable Monkey would simply have denied his ability and that would be the end of the matter; even the Tortoise would be denied any further taste of that sweet waste ever again! Now he really appreciated the depth of the Tortoise’s understanding of his friend; if he, the Leopard, had revealed the source of his knowledge to the Monkey, such a fellow, prepared to withstand the most terrible beating imaginable rather than reveal knowledge of his unique ability, would not scruple to put an end to poor Tortoise’s life as he lay in peaceful slumber!

As for the Monkey, he was at a complete loss as to