When She's Broken., Chalen D. [ebook reader android TXT] 📗

so alone, i had no one to talk to. i felt worthless, alone, stupid, gross. so i started to cut. and then i got an eating disorder."
i looked down.
"i don't think i can be helped."
"everyone can be helped."
"Lee put his arm around me, and i jerked away like his hands where dipped in poison."
"i saw that."
"you shook your head."
"that's how i was. right before i tried to kill my self."
"how?"
"cut really deep. it was painful and too slow. my little brother found me. i was taken to the hospital. the Dr. said, i was going to die. Joey jumped out the window. He died on impact."
"oh god." i said, covering my mouth.
"he lost his life, because of me, cause i tried to kill myself. i found his journal, and all it talked about was how alone he felt and the i was his hero."
i swallowed.
"some hero huh?"
"yeah..." i bit my lip.
"i need your help." i whispered.
"i'm here."
i gave a weak smile.
"just don't get to close, i can't make any promises."
"you can't kill yourself, what if Lee kills himself cause you did."
"at least we'd all be together."
"Scarlett listen to yourself! don't you want to be happy?"
"my sister, mom and Ayden are gone. there is no happy."
"you feel like that not but you just need time."
"time destroys us."
he breathed out.
"i'm not crazy." i said shaking my head, feeling crazy.
"of course your not."
Eli placed a hand on my leg, and i jerked back.
"Scarlett."
i got up and went into the bathroom, and locked the door.
"open the door!" Eli said, pounding on it.
"Eli?"
"yes?"
"there's a blade on the counter."
"stay away from it Scarlett."
"but it's so close."
"Your not crazy just open the door."
" no, i'm worthless, this is what i do."
"Scarlett no." he said hitting the door once.
"just once more Eli, it's so easy."
"Your not worthless open the damn door, your scaring me Scarlett."
"you don't understand."
"i can help you."
"liar."
"i'm not lying don't pick up that blade Scarlett please."
i picked up the blade, and twirled it in my hand.
"don't do it please."
i dropped it.
"Scarlett?"
i looked at the blade in the sink.
"Scarlett please."
i opened the door and his face looked relived.
"i didn't do it." i whispered. "i listened to your voice. i'm not crazy you can help me."
"see." he said, pulling me into his arms.
"okay, you need to eat."
"why so i can get fat no thanks."
i sat on my bed.
"you now you can get really sick."
"you said i was scaring you. why?"
"cause you were."
"no, why's you say it."
"cause i care about you."
"don't say that."
"why?"
"Cause it's a lie!" i yelled.
i went back to the bathroom, and picked up the blade.
"Your better than this."
"no i'm not."
"yes you are."
"shut up Eli."
"Scarlett."
"i said shut up!"
he took a step to me.
"it feels good, i feel free. it's addicting. i don't know how you stopped." i mused.
"Scarlett you gotta listen to me."
i held the blade in my hands tightly.
i took off Ayden's jacket and put it on the sink.
i put the blade to my clean wrist.
"What would your mom and sister think? What about Ayden?"
i tossed the blade, and ranked my hands through my hair.
i backed up until i was against the wall and i slid down it, crying.
Eli sat next to me, and held out his hand.
i took it and lace mine with his.
"you did it." he breathed out.
"you found your reason for quitting."
"your reason. it's joey."
"things are going to get better." he nodded.
"i don't believe it."
"you have to or you won't get better."
"your just stronger than me."
"your strong."
"tomorrows my birthday. i'm turning 16."
"really?"
"yeah, how old are you?"
"16."
i nodded.
"what now?" i asked.
"you eat something. come on."
he stood and pulled me to my feet.
we got into his car and we drove out to eat.
"i don't have money, looks like i'm not eating."
"i'm paying for you, nice, try." he said pulling me back in line.
"i'm not hungry."
he looked at my stomach as it growled, then to my face. he smiled and shook his head.
we got a large fry and two milkshakes.
"you got a girlfriend?"
"nope."
"really? you seem to sweet to not have one."
"yeah, girls are a little scared of me."
"why?" i asked shoving a fry in my mouth.
"the way a dress."
"well that's stupid." i said, pulling Ayden's jacket up.
"yeah, well that's how it is."
"well it's lame." i said, taking a drink.
"why are you looking at me?"
"oh sorry." he said, eating some fries.
"you were right, i needed food."
"yeah, you can also think better with food"
"what's that supposed to mean!"
"Scarlett i-"
"just kidding dude."
he laughed and shook his head.
"so do i get to go home after this?"
"yeah,but i'm going to stay with you for a bit."
"your going to baby sit me for a bit." i looked down at the tray.
he touched my hand, and once again i flung back.
"sorry." i said, getting pissed at myself.
"look can we just go?"
"yeah, come on."
i grabbed my milkshake.
we watched a movie.
"okay, if you need me call me, no matter the time."
"Eli wait, i wanna try something."
he turned back to me.
i poked his arm.
"what are you doing?" he laughed.
"hush."
i put my hand on his shoulder. he didn't move and i pulled back.
i slowly gave him a hug, and patted his back.
"try to hug me back." i said.
his arms slowly closed around me.
"okay, i'll call you." i said.
"cool."
After he left i went back inside and layed in bed.
"Happy Birthday." Eli said, carefully.
he held out a CD case with a bow on it.
"you didn't have to buy me any thing."
"i made it. uh, don't read the note until you've listened to the song."
"okay." I shrugged putting in my bag. "thanks."
"Why don'y you come sit with me?"
"okay." i said, slowly following him.
"what are his friends going to think?"
i sat down and all four of them looked at me.
"I'm Cassie, i had a eating disorder." the first girl said.
"Jake. i have depression."
"Beth, i'm bipolar."
"Blake, a recovering cutter."
How could they all just tell me this so easily?
"aren't you going to sit down?" Cassie asked, turning her head to the side.
i sat down.
"Guys this is Scarlett." Eli said carefully.
"I heard today's your birthday." Jake said.
"yep." i said.
"Happy birthday." they all said.
"Thanks."
"look you don't have to be wall freaked out. we all have problems so we know." Beth said.
i pulled on the Jackets sleeve.
"Your a cutter." Blake said.
"How do you know?"
"Cause you nervously pulling down your sleeve." he said.
i looked down.
"Eli can help you he's the best, he helped all of us." Blake said.
i nervously rubbed my neck.
Beth turned the subject and they all stated talking. talking and laughing."
Eli watched me from the corner of his eye, as he slowly ate his food.
"Aren't you hungry?" Jake asked.
"oh, no." i shook my head.
"you should eat." Cassie said, with a pointed look.
"i'm not hungry." i said.
"Cool it." Eli said, looking at her.
"uh," i grabbed my bag and left.
i sat on a wall.
"there you are."
Eli sat next to me.
"you know when people leave it's cause they want to be alone." i smiled.
he laughed.
"you helped all of them?"
"yeah." his eye brows pulled together.
"what's wrong?"
"Blake. he still cuts."
"i'll talk to him."
"your not going to want to do that." Eli said, running after me.
"Blake can i talk to you alone?"
he got up and followed me.
"Let me see the damage."
"um." he said.
"Come on show me your wrist."
his eye brows pulled together.
i lifted up my sleeve and showed him my wrist.
he took it and examined it.
"your cuts are deeper than mine."
he pulled up his sleeve and held out his wrist.
"see?"
"can i?"
"go for it."
i took his wrist.
on of the cuts was fresh.
"when did you do this one?"
"this morning." He whispered.
"you have to find someone to stop for."
"there's no one." he said, pulling down his sleeve.
"then do it for you. every time you cut your self, hurting yourself, they're wining."
"when's the last time you cut?"
"yesterday."
"see?"
"so i'm not the best role model but i'm not doing that stuff anymore. i found a reason to quit."
"i'll try." he said.
"that's all i ask."
"can i have a hug?" He whispered.
i through my arms around him.
that night i listened to the song.
it's called when she cries by Britt Nicole.
( HERE'S THE LYRICS, YES, THIS IS A REAL SONG.)

(Little girl terrified She'd leave her room if only bruises would heal. A home is no place to hide Her heart is breaking from the pain that she feels.
Every day's the same
She fights to find her way
She hurts, she breaks, she hides, and tries to pray
She wonders why, does anyone ever hear her when she cries
Today she's turning sixteen
Everyone singing, but she can't seem to smile
They never get past arms length
How could they act like everything is alright?
pulling down her long sleeves
To cover all the memories that scars leave
She says, "maybe making me bleed
will be the answer that could wash the slate clean"
This is the dark before the dawn
The storm before the peace
Don't be afraid 'cause seasons change and
God is watching over you
He hears you
Every day's the same
She fights to find her way
She hurts, she breaks, she hides, and tries to pray
She'll be just fine, cause now he hears her when she cries
Every day's the same
She fights to find her way
She hurts, she breaks, she hides, and tries to pray
She'll be just fine, cause now he hears her when she cries
She'll be just fine, cause now he hears her when she cries.)
I took the note and unfolded it.
'I hear you, Scarlett-Eli.'
i swallowed.
"what are you doing here?" Lee said. i ran down stairs at his out burst.
"I got you a present." my dad said, tossing me a rapped box.
"you need to leave." Lee said.
i ran to my room, and took calming breaths.
i opened the box, to razor blades.
i looked at the clock. 2 in the morning.
"Hello?" Eli asked half asleep.
"Eli? it's me."
"what's wrong Scarlett?" he asked, sitting up.
"my dad came by."
"are you okay?"
"he gave me a birthday present."
"What did he give you Scarlett?"
"a pack of razors."
"Shit."
i heard a shuffling noise.
"i want to use them Eli."
"i know you do but don't. i'm on my way."
"tell me what to do Eli, please hurry, before i use them."
"go find Lee. now."
i went to the Kitchen.
"did you find him.
"i found him."
Lee looked up.
"give him the blades."
"no."
"Scarlett give him the blades now."
i held out the blades.
Lee took them, and grabbed my hand.
"What is this?" Lee asked, looking at my wrist.
"give the phone to him."
"What are you doing?" he shouted.
"Scarlett, give the phone to Lee