When her pain is consuming, Chalen D. [all ebook reader .txt] 📗

off the fridge, and drowned the ice cream with it. He handed over a spoon and we dug in.

"This is really good."

"You seem surprised." He snorted. "I'm the one who made it, of course it's good."

We finished off the ice cream and watched Movies, until Blake had to go Home So His Mom wouldn't find out He skipped school. I walked to my room, and grabbed the hanger. I set it on my desk and grabbed the box of Kenna's clothes. I put it on the trunk at the end of the bed and began to fold the clothes. Once I was done I set the clothes in the bottom last drawer of my dresser. I got in my car and left the house.

Before I went through the front gates I picked some roses and then walked up the grassy Hill. I set the roses in front of the stones.

"Hey guys." I sniffed and wiped my face. "So school started, and there’s a new guy for math, Kenna, you would of thought He was so hot. I mean, He was kind of cute. I folded all of your clothes and put them in my dresser. I hope you don't mind. I wish you could Meat My new friends. You and Ayden both. Hi Ayden. I hope you’re not mad at me. I'm so confused, and I don't know what to do. I read your book. I know I know, Nosy Rosie, but I missed you. I read the part about you wanting Me to be happy again, but how can I be happy again, if that's person isn't you. You would like Eli. He reminds me of you, in some ways. I love Eli, Ayden, it's just. I love you too, and I don't really think it's fair to him, you know what I mean? Ugh Mom, Tell Me what to do here, I need you! The first day of school was okay, remember how you'd ask that every year?" I laughed. "I'll never forget the look on your face back when Ayden said, it's just school. God, I miss you guys. We had some great times didn't we? I'm also sorry that I haven't been by to see you guys. I couldn't bring Myself to do it, I guess I just wasn't brave enough." I lifted My sleeve. "Mom, Kenna. I have to tell you something. I'm a cutter. Now please don't freak out on me. I do it to get the pain on the outside. I do anything to get rid of the pain on the inside. Ayden understands. He would be the only one who understood if you guys didn't leave. I wouldn't of Met, Eli, Beth, Cassie, or Blake. But In a way I'm glad I met them." I pulled my sleeve down. "Does that Make Me morbid?"

I kissed each of their stones and then ran down the hill. I got in My car, and went to get two hot peppermint Cocoas. I drove down My street, and parked at the curb in front of Beth’s house.

"You stupid little bitch!" Her Mom yelled.

The door flung open and Beth ran out.

She looked relived When She saw me and jumped into My car.

"Drive."

"Scarlett you better not take off-"

"Now Scarlett drive." She said reaching over and putting the car into drive.

I hit the gas and we took off to my house.

"That's yours." I said, picking up my hot coco.

"Thanks." She picked it up and sipped hers slowly.

Once inside my house, she sat on the couch as I got the fire going.

"She called me a bitch, because I told Dad she was cheating on Him. Did I do the right thing?" I grabbed my Coco and sat down.

"First you’re not a bitch. Second, she doesn't know how to direct her anger. That's something she needs to work on."

"Are you saying My Mom has anger issues?"

"She has anger issues."

"Yeah, well I can't tell her that." She folded her legs under herself. "She'll kick me out."

"And that's when You move in with Me."

"I wish I could live here." She laughed, a little.

I set My cup on the coffee table.

"Oh My God Scarlett!" Beth yelled, catching My wrist and yanking Up the sleeve. "I thought you quit!"

I yanked My arm away and stood, "I think it's time for you to go."

"Oh No!" She stood up. "You were there for Me and so I'm here for you. What's wrong?"

"You need to go." I said, walking to the door.

"Not until you let me help you."

"I don't want your help." I opened the front door.

"To fucking bad Sacrlett!" She yelled. "I'm going to help you."

"You really want to help me?" I yelled back. "Don't tell anyone, and just fucking go home!"

"Okay." Her shoulders sagged. "I'll go."

She walked outside and turned back to Me. I shut the door and raked My hand through My hair. Who did she think She was, trying to help Me? I was the one helping her, not the other way around. I tossed the cups away and went to my room. I cut five times, took a shower and headed to bed early. The next day at School, We all met in our usual spot, in the morning.

"Hey Are you two okay?" Eli asked.

"Yeah your kind of quiet." Cassie said.

"Yeah we're good." I looked at Beth. "Right?"

"You'll thank Me later." She looked at the ground. "Check Scarlett's wrist, someone."

Blake grabbed My Wrist and I yanked it away.

"I can't believe you just said that." I said, holding my arm to My chest.

"I want to help." Beth said, tears coming to her eyes.

"I told you I don't need your help!"

"Come on let us just see." Cassie ripped my sleeve up, and everyone stood in front of me looking at My arm, With that Not again, Look.

I yanked it down, "That was fucked off Cassie!" I yelled at her.

"No it wasn't you need Help Scarlett." Blake said.

"Your taking their side!" I yelled at Him. "What about you huh? Having a crazy freak as a girlfriend? You must have something to say."

"Scarlett. Let Us help you." Eli said.

"No!" I yelled. "I don't want your fucking help. This is me, and if you can't handle it then fuck off, I guess we aren't friends anymore!"

As I walked away and to the student parking lot they didn't try to stop Me. That was it. I was in this world alone, all thanks to me not being strong enough, to handle My shitty life. I had no friends. I Jumped into My car and drove Home. Lee was on the phone.

"Hey Lee, can we talk?"

"Not now Scar." He waved me away.

I was tired. I was really tired, of being pushed to the side. I walked to the stairs and slammed my bag down. I ran upstairs and grabbed My blade, I walked down stairs.

"I really need to talk."

"Just a second. I'm sure it can wait."

"Hey Lee?" He looked over at Me.

"Do you have time for Me Now?" I asked, Cutting My left arm. "Maybe now?" I cut My right Arm.

"Scarlett stop!" He dropped the phone, and ran to me.

I ran to the other side of the island.

"Or maybe now, sweet big brother?" I lifted My shirt, and Sliced three times, on My stomach.

"Scarlett what the hell Stop!" He yelled, trying to get to me around the Island.

"What about fucking now!?" I cut my neck.

****Lee

She coughed and fell to the floor on her hands and knees, making Me able to round the Island to Her. She coughed up blood, and fell onto her side. "Scarlett, can you hear me?" I asked rubbing Her arm.

I flipped her over, to check her cuts. They were deep, and I had two sinking feelings. One, she was trying to Kill herself again, and Two, It was my fault. With My baby sister's blood on My hands, I called for Help. *****Scarlett's friends.

"Has anyone seen or heard from Scarlett?" Eli asked sitting down.

"No." Beth, shook Her head.

"I'm worried about her." Blake said.

"I'm sorry." A girl said passing. "You don't know?"

"Don't know what?" Cassie asked.

"About Scarlett? Her brother called the school, Saying she tried to kill herself. The Doctors are waiting a week, and if she doesn't wake up, they'll be pulling the plug. The Doctor's told her brother She wasn't going to make it, But He refused to pull the plug. Being her friends and all I thought you guys would have known. Anyways. Good luck."

They looked at each other, and then jumped up from the lunch table.

******Scarlett.

I opened My eyes and the hospital came into view.

"Fuck." I muttered.

"Yeah Fuck." I looked to my right to See Blake.

He hand my hand in His pressed To His cheek.

"You broke your promise." He said.

"No I didn't. We aren't friends, anymore, so there for all promises are a void."

"Not in My eyes. You’re My best friend."

I laughed without humor, "You should get a new best friend."

"No thanks. I like my old one."

"You should still get a new one. I'm planning to not be here for long."

"Where you going?"

"I'm just going to keep trying."

"Keep trying for what?"

"To kill myself Blake, get with the program already."

"Well it might not be necessary. They said you’re fighting to live right now."

"Who's fighting?" I gave a sly Smile.

He smiled back.

"You’re being really calm about this." I sniffed.

"Yep. Cause I've came to a conclusion."

"That is?"

"If you get to kill yourself I get to kill myself."

"Uh, No you don't."

"Uh, yes I do. And why do you care? We aren't friends, anymore, all promises, are a void. Remember?" He asked getting up.

I grabbed onto His hand, "You can't kill yourself Blake."

"Sure I can. What's good for you is good for me. The only question is how to do it?" He sat down, and looked at the roof. "Bleach, gun, over dose-"

"Stop it! Stop it!" I yelled. "I won't just sit here and listen toyou list the ways you can kill yourself!"

"Why not? I sat here for a week and a half waiting for you to wake up!"

"That's different!"

"I could hang myself, or maybe I'll just bleed to death, like my best friend was trying to do!"

"Stop it Blake!" I began to cry.

"Why! Hearing that someone you love wants to die? Can't take the heat Scarlett! Hurt's doesn't it?" He yelled. "I could always just crash my car!"

"Blake stop." I begged.

"Why, Scarlett? Why should I stop when you didn't?" He said. "You know what I don't get? I don't understand how someone can put their feelings on the back line, to help her friends to not cut, starve, or kill themselves, and Here you are, behind our backs cutting and trying to die. I should of paid more attention, when You said suicide is maybe just away out."

I wiped at my eyes.

"Well, I'm waiting for an answer."

"Blake stop yelling at her."

"Oh here He is. Mr. Calm cool and collected!" Blake yelled at Eli.

"If you don't stop yelling at her, I'll have someone take you out of here."

"You know what fuck it." He said. "Scarlett do what you want, but if you try to kill yourself, I hope you go to hell for how selfish you’re Being!"

"Out!" Eli yelled, hand pointing to the door.

"Gladly!" Blake yelled, hitting Eli's shoulder on the way.

Eli walked to the side table by my bed. He Picked up a plastic cup, and a pink piture. As He did I heard the ice splashing around. He poured water into the cup, put in a straw, and He put the cup in front of my mouth. I looked at Him, and lifted my head to Get the straw. It wouldn't go in my mouth, So Eli grabbed it and I was able to drink. He set the cup down and then sat down.

"How are you feeling?"

"Sore."

"That's normal."

"Nothing's normal."

"Well this is. After you got hurt, you’re going to be sore."

"I didn't get hurt. I did it on purpose. Getting hurt is different."

"I thought you weren't going to do this anymore. I thought you were better."

"I'm never going to be better Eli." I gave Him a small