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track of inventory so well. Or I’d work the books. I could keep us fed that way.

“We can take the new kids hunting.” Emmett offered.

“Show them how it’s done.” Jasper said with a smile.

“I’ll go too.” Edward joined his brothers. He didn’t really seem eager to hunt like they did. I got the impression he was worried about them getting into trouble. And that made me worried.

“Bianca,” I said, looking over at her. She was standing off to the side with Hector and Alice. I hadn’t noticed until just then that they had been talking with her.

“Yeah Boss?” She replied.

“Go down the line, please. Make sure everyone’s in control before you start hunting.”

“Sure thing, bossman.”

That took care of any accidental human contact. But that wasn’t the only thing to worry about. Hector could still act up, especially if he’s out with no adult supervision, so to speak. The damage he could do was enough to make me think about going with them.

“Maybe I should go too.” I said to Laney, “Will you stay with the girls?”

I noticed for the first time that she still had hold of my hand. It was strange that I hadn’t felt it until just then. I only noticed because the pressure of her grip increased.

“Do you really want to try it that much?” She asked, keeping her voice very low.

“I’m curious but that’s not why I think I should go.” I looked at Edward and then Hector. She followed my line of sight and then understood what I meant.

She nodded.

The look on her face made my heart feel suddenly heavy, like it had become solid steel and was trying to sink into my stomach. It was a sick feeling. She was nervous or frightened. I wanted to tell her these vampires were decent. They wouldn’t hurt her. But I couldn’t discuss that in their home. And now I couldn’t leave her. She’d grow to trust them, I was sure but until then I had to stay with her.

“Bella?” I looked around for her.

“Yes?” She said, standing with Esme, Jacob and her daughter by the back window. She hurried over to us.

“Are you going with them?” I asked her quietly.

“No, not this time. The boys like to play when they go hunting.”

“That’s what I’m afraid of.” I said, eyeing Hector. “You’re the only one that can keep things from getting…out of hand.”

She followed my eyes. Then she looked back at me and nodded.

With both Edward and Bella going on the hunt, they decided it would be better for Renesmee to go with Jacob. They discussed having Jacob take her to the reservation. Jacob seemed to be in agreement. Renesmee was less amenable. Which started another round of arguing between parents and child. It ended with Renesmee running out the back door. Jacob followed after her.

She was fast, not as fast as us but certainly much faster than a human. Jacob was just as fast as her, catching up to her before she was out of our sight. It made me curious if he could keep up with a full vampire as well.

“Drama.” Bianca said under her breath.

“Don’t judge!” The triplets snapped at Bianca in unison.

“It’s a tough age.” I said softly, looking out the window to where she had disappeared into the trees, “It can’t be easy being so different from everyone else. Even your own family.”

“It’s a phase.” Laney said to Bella. “She’ll get past it soon enough.”

“She was always so mature, even as a baby. She’s so smart, sometimes it’s easy to forget how young she is. I guess I wasn’t prepared for her to really act like a teenager.” Bella confessed.

“Believe it or not, it can be harder for the more intelligent and mature. There’s an impatience. You’re so close to adulthood and you feel like in your mind you’re already there but no one treats you that way. And the sudden influx of hormones makes using your brain effectively difficult at times.” I said with a feeling of sympathy.

Pim came up and leaned on me, resting his elbow on my shoulder, “Translation: Doesn’t matter how smart you are. All teenagers are moody. Take it from the professor, he knows.”

“I should,” I said, lifting an eyebrow as I looked at him, “I’m surrounded by sullen teenagers.”

“If all she does is yell and run off in a huff, you should feel lucky.” Bianca said, smiling. “I was a terror. I’m surprised my…” Then her voice and her grin faded as she thought of her parents.

“In time, it won’t hurt so badly to think about them.” Edward said to her.

She crossed her arms over her chest, “They’re the reason, you know? The reason I find it so hard to be like this. I’ve got such a big family: siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins, second cousins, nieces, nephews; there’re a ton. I can’t keep ‘em straight.” She looked away from us, “Can’t stand the thought that I might hurt one of them one day.”

“It won’t happen.” I said.

“Yeah, we got your back.” Hector said.

Bianca shook her head, shaking off the grief like it was water on her skin.

“Come on!” She said, excited again. “Let’s do this.”

The enthusiasm spread to the rest as they prepared to leave. Bianca used her influence to get everyone in our group to focus during the hunt. She even used her gift on Jasper. Then they were off, running with our new allies.

I opted to stay with Laney and the girls rather than going into town with Carlisle. Esme went with him instead. Rosalie disappeared on her own, not wanting to socialize with us. It seemed like she saw us as intruders. Alice, on the other hand, had a lot of fun with the triplets, finding them new clothes to wear and doing their hair. They really seemed to like her too.

Laney and I stayed quiet, standing in the living room. It felt good, comfortable. This was a new sensation and I was indulging in it. We weren’t frozen with fright or anxiously waiting for an attack that could come from anywhere if you weren’t prepared. For the first time in this existence we could just be. And it felt nice.













Chapter 6

Carlisle didn’t take long or at least it didn’t feel that way. I probably could have stayed standing like that for the foreseeable future without complaint. Time didn’t feel important right then.

When he got back I made sure everyone fed before I did. Partially, I wanted to be sure they were okay, that they had enough. Also, I had just fed three days ago and it had been considerably longer for the rest of them. The red came back to their eyes. I felt a little better after that. The girls were noticeably more energetic and happy.

Carlisle had been watching me with a look of fascination the whole time. I imagined I looked much the same most of the time. It was nice to not be the only one consumed with curiosity. But he was polite, not asking what I was sure he was dying to know.

When the others returned from their hunting trip I was able to relax completely. I hadn’t even realized I was worried about them until the tension dissolved with their arrival.

Carlisle was still looking at me inquisitively.

“You can ask me anything you’d like.” I said to him.

His brow furrowed.

“There’s been a question on your mind since you got back from the hospital.” I told him.

“I was only wondering what it is like for you, having so high a tolerance for pain. Most young vampires can’t stand by and do nothing while the scent of blood is in the air. It took me centuries of practice to be as at ease as you seem.” He said.

“I know the sensation. I’ve felt the full force of the instinct that takes command of the body when blood is near. I gave in to it once. I didn’t know what to expect. It was only after, when I saw what I had done and felt the shame of my actions that I worked out a way to bypass that instinct. It isn’t an issue for me now. But I still feel it.”

“Does it hurt?” Pim asked.

“Not anymore.”

“What is it like for you?” Carlisle asked.

“It’s like a little brother.”

“What?” Pretty much everyone asked at once.

“For those with younger siblings, I think you will understand better the annoyance I feel. The thirst is always present, always demanding my attention, and after a while it becomes irritating, not so much a physical pain but an emotional one. But also like a younger sibling, I can tune it out.” I explained.

“If only more vampires were born with a respect for human life.” Carlisle said.

“I don’t know that it really came so naturally for me.” I admitted. “If they had picked anyone else for me to feed on, I might have bypassed the morality issue all together.”

“What do you mean?” Carlisle asked.

“She looked like someone I used to know.” I confessed.

“Who?” Laney asked.

“Just a girl I went to high school with.” I replied casually.

“Was it actually her?” Hector asked.

“No, she just looked like Amy.”

“Amy.” Laney sighed so softly I almost didn’t hear her.

I looked over at her, puzzled. Her reactions to things still bewildered me. What had I said to get such a melancholy reply? She wasn’t giving anything away. She refused to look me in the eyes.

“He doesn’t think like anyone I’ve ever encountered, Carlisle.” Edward said, “I don’t think he understands that his answers only inspire more questions.”

That got my attention. I turned back to everyone else, still trying to figure out what was going on with Laney at the back of my mind.

“I have no base of reference. You would know better if my reaction was normal or not.” I concentrated and turned my transmitter back on. I thought of the girl when I had stopped feeding and really taken a good look at her. Then I remembered Amy, like I had then.

Edward gasped.

I turned it off again, worried my thoughts were too much for him.

“Those were human memories.” He said, stunned.

“No…well, the memory of Amy was from when I was a human but with the girl, I was a vampire.” I clarified.

“There’s no distinction. You remember being human like you remember things now.”

“Oh, yes, I have perfect recall of all my memories. Then and now.”

Everyone looked stunned now. Evidently no one else remembered things like I could.

“I barely remember anything from when I was human.” Hector said. “It’s like trying to see things through frosted glass. It’s too fuzzy.”

“I remember feelings and important stuff like family, but I don’t know if I’d recognize anyone from high school now. It’s all kind of a blur.” Bianca said.

“It hurts when I try really hard to remember things from back then.” Laney said.

“Maybe that’s why it’s so easy for most to disregard human life.” I said. “If you have no connection to it, can’t remember much about it, what is there to make you feel guilty for taking it?”

“It was my talent that connected me to humans.” Jasper said. “Without it, I never would have wanted to find an alternative to killing them.”

We all looked over at him. He hadn’t actually told us yet what he could do.

Carlisle must have figured out that we were curious but unwilling to ask, “Jasper can feel and control the mood of those around him.”

“An empath?” I said, intrigued.

“I never heard it put quite like that before.” Jasper replied.

“It makes sense.” Laney said, looking off into the distance, not

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