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Instead, I removed my jacket and wrapped it around her. Tears flowed freely, more than before, and her shoulders shook. I clasped her to me, squeezing her tight, silently clinging, clasping on to the shred of humanity I had left.

I’d tortured her.

I was becoming the monster I hated.

A towel appeared over my shoulder.

“Get out of here.” I swiveled toward Luke, angry. “You’re one of them—” The words caught in my throat, and I closed my eyes tight. Now, so was I.

“Briar.” His voice was quiet, barely a whisper.

I opened my eyes, and all I could see was Lynx’s bloodied body.

“Get out,” I growled again. When he hesitated, I stood. “Leave!”

His face pleaded with me but instead of talking, he turned around and left the room. The small space felt even smaller now that it was just Lynx and me.

I patted at her thighs gently with the towel, trying to stop the flow of blood while also trying not to cry. She wouldn’t die from the wounds, but her face was paling from the loss of blood.

“This was so messed up.” I couldn’t look into her eyes. “I’ll move out when I get home.”

Her hand slowly moved over mine. “Don’t.”

“No, Lynx. I can’t live there after what I did to you.”

Her face hardened. “It had to be done.”

“Did it?”

“Yes. More so for me than you.”

“But why? What kind of horror-show mother do you have?”

“My brother used to say she was the hemorrhoid in Satan’s ass.” She tried to smile, but when I couldn’t return it, her expression fell. “I’m glad it was you and not someone else.”

“Why?”

She met my eyes. “Because I know you’re strong enough to handle it. To live with what you’ve done.”

Sucking in a breath, tears stung my eyes until they fell down my cheeks. I was horrible. I didn’t deserve to live. I should’ve died with the rest of my family.

I carefully lowered my head to her lap, as to not hurt her further, while she ran her hands over my head to console me.

It should’ve made me get up. I should be the one consoling her. But I wasn’t a good person like that.

I clung to her, tasting her blood on my lips, and tried to pull myself together. They could still be watching.

So I closed my eyes and visualized my mental walls coming back up. I fortified the many painful holes with determination and sheer will. Another trick I’d learned in foster home. Eventually, my shredded heart was impervious to pain, the worst of it anyway.

I leaned back. “You can heal yourself with that voodoo shit, right?” It was the only consolation I had to offer her.

“I don’t do voodoo, but maybe.” She slowly came to her feet. “Let’s get out of here. I can’t be in here a minute longer.”

Together we left the room and the horrible memory of what had happened behind.

Chapter 18

Lynx leaned on me as we made our way from the house. That’s when I realized our ride home had disappeared. Luke had brought me here, and I’d driven him away by yelling at him. Most of the pack had shifted and left for a run in the forest. The excitement of watching me torture Lynx had probably left them fevered and anxious for action. Along with the pack members, my wolf, whom I normally felt close to, had retreated deep into the recesses of my mind. It was as if she, too, was ashamed of my actions.

I tried to figure out how to get a ride home as we walked toward the front door. I didn’t want to wait around for my uber-witch friend. I guess I’d just have to steal one of the extra cars Dominic kept around for senior members. The keys were often left on the front visor.

Screw him. I’d take one anyway.

Ryder was waiting for us in the shadows just outside the mansion. He had a blanket ready and draped it over Lynx to fully cover her.

“Thank you.” I tried to give him a grateful look, but his eyes wouldn’t meet mine. After eyeing Lynx, like he wished he could do something more, he turned away from us. Saying nothing, he disappeared around the side of the building, all without looking at me. One more person I disappointed. One more person to make things right with.

I was about to head toward one of the pack’s extra vehicles, when car lights shined down the long lane. It approached slowly and drove around the long circular driveway until it stopped in front of us. A black Audi. The driver’s side window rolled down.

Light from the front porch illuminated Roma’s face. Her expression was serious, but there was a flash of anger in her gray eyes when she saw Lynx. “Hop in.”

I helped Lynx into the backseat, then slid in after her. “I thought you never came to Fire Ridge.”

Roma’s eyes met mine in the rearview mirror. “Your anguish was too loud to ignore.”

I nodded my head at her in appreciation, unsure what she meant, but I didn’t have the energy to ask.

The car remained heavy in silence the whole way to the house with only an occasional painful grunt from Lynx. Roma handed me back a bottle of cheap wine, which I pressed to Lynx’s lips, making sure she took several long swigs.

After Roma parked on the curb, I thanked her, then hurried to catch up to Lynx. She was walking quickly to the front door with her head down as if there were people watching, but it was nearly three in the morning. The only spectators to my crime were us.

That was enough.

We walked inside, and I closed and locked the door behind me. Lynx moved straight into the kitchen and dropped onto a chair. The blanket fell from her shoulders. Of all her injuries, the stab wound from Dominic was the worst. The angry hole in her shoulder still bled.

“First aid kit?” I started opening cabinets.

“Above the fridge. Can you get me some medicine too? It’s in a bin next to the kit.”

I reached up and pulled out whatever I could grab from above the fridge. The first aid kit had everything I needed: Band-Aids, Neosporin, butterfly bandages, gauzes and alcohol. I noticed the box to the butterfly bandages had already been opened and there were several missing. How many times had Lynx had to do this?

“This might hurt.” I poured the alcohol onto her shoulder; the blood ran down her skin in tiny rivers.

She moaned through a clenched jaw. “Meds first, please. My shoulder is killing me.”

I turned my attention to the bin, bypassing the bottles of Tylenol and Advil, until I found a prescription bottle for codeine. “This should do. It’s old, but medication doesn’t expire, right?”

“Just give it to me.”

“Right.” I quickly retrieved a glass of water and handed it to her. She couldn’t lift her right hand so she opened her mouth. I placed two pills on her tongue and she promptly swallowed them down with the water.

A gust of wind blew through the room, and Samira appeared next to me. “What happened? I smell blood.”

She looked at Lynx, noting all her wounds. I winced, expecting to see some kind of reaction from Samira at the sight of all the blood, but it didn’t seem to faze her. Instead, she emanated a cold energy full of rage and murder, if there was such a feeling.

“Who did this to you?” Her voice made my wolf shiver.

Lynx’s gaze flashed to mine. “It’s nothing. Really.”

“You have seventeen cuts on your body, and one stab wound. Who did this?” She slowly removed her eyeglasses and placed them on the table.

She opened her mouth to speak, but I interrupted her. “It was me.”

Samira stilled in the way that only vamps can, a motion worse than death. She slowly turned to me, her eyes a mixture of confusion and fury. “What?”

“I had to do it to be accepted into the pack.”

Samira was not one to waste time with words. Pain exploded through my face as she rammed her fist into my nose. Blood sprayed all over my shirt, and I stumbled back several feet. She closed the distance between us, swinging again. I closed my eyes as her fist crashed into my cheekbone. I collapsed sideways to the floor.

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