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I asked a question! Besides, what’s the worst that could ha—
A knock on the door interrupted my thoughts. My breathing was getting faster. Why?
“Can we come in?” My mother was on the other side of the door with Mrs. Ellen, I assumed.
“It’s open.” Mr. Edwards’ voice was very hard.
They opened the door. My mother and Mrs. Ellen were cautious as they came in. As soon as they saw me, both of their bodies were rigid. My mother’s eyes were horrified, but Mrs. Ellen’s eyes were resigned. She knew what was going to happen.
“Sit, please.” Mr. Edwards pointed to a coffee table that was beside his bed, with two chairs on the side.
They both moved swiftly and with their heads down.
Mr. Edwards had his eyes on my mother and Mrs. Ellen. We all waited for him to begin.
Mr. Edwards cleared his throat. Was he nervous? Why? “Well,” he began. “Amber here wants to know some information. Apparently, she overheard you two gossiping this morning. Do you have something to say, Anna?” He looked at my mother. She just stared down. “Claire?” He turned to look at Mrs. Ellen. She also kept her head down.
I wanted to reassure my mother and Mrs. Ellen that they were not in trouble and that this was all my fault…but I didn’t know what to say.
It seemed that I was wrong when I had assumed that my questions were harmless. I know realized that this little harmless question had resulted into something major. I had to intervene.
“Wait, this is all my fault. Mr. Edwards, please don’t chastise my mother or Mrs. Ellen just because of me. I was the one who was in their business. I was the one who was nosy. If there is someone to blame, it should be me, not them.” I had been nosy, but the only thing I wanted was to know why I was involved in their conversation. Was that really too much to ask? Well, apparently, it was.
Mr. Edwards turned to look at me, shocked. Actually, all three of them stared at me with the same surprised expression.
“No, no. Amber, this isn’t your fault! Nobody is blaming you for anything. If there is anybody to blame, it should be me and those two.” He turned to glare at both my mother and Mrs. Ellen. “If you two wouldn’t have gossiped like old women, she wouldn’t have found out about anything!” It looked like Mr. Edwards was beginning to forget that I was in this room. “Right now, she would just be listening to me and be completely unharmed!” Mr. Edwards had that same fuming expression he had before.
“But I’m not being harmed! What are you talking about?” I asked, perplexed.
They ignored me.
It was my mother who spoke this time. “Thomas, why don’t you just tell her? You promised you would when she turned seventeen.”
“Tell me what?!” I was beginning to feel annoyed. Very annoyed.
“If you don’t tell her, Thomas, then I will.” Mrs. Ellen threatened.
Mr. Edwards’ expression seemed to become murderously enraged. For the first time in my life, I was frightened of the man in front of me. “Shut up, Claire! Just shut up! You have no right to talk. The only reason you know about this is because Anna couldn’t keep her mouth shut!” Mr. Edwards’ breathing accelerated.
My temper was also rising. I couldn’t believe that they were all shouting at each other. How dare they? I had never seen any of them shout with such passion. I needed to know what was going on, and I needed to know now.
“No, I will not keep my mouth shut, not anymore. I know that it is none of my business, it’s your problem. But if you don’t tell her right now, then I will. I am sick of everyday looking into her eyes and know that she doesn’t know anything about her father!” She stopped abruptly, and turned to look at me, horrified.
My mother gasped. Mr. Edwards looked like he’d been shocked.
“M-my father? You know something about my father?” I asked Mr. Edwards.
I couldn’t believe it. They knew something about my father! I had never met my father. I didn’t even know what he looked like. The reason why my mother didn’t own a photograph of him was because she only met him for two weeks and then disappeared because of my mother’s pregnancy. I didn’t grieve not having a father, but just the thought of meeting him or to know one of his stories would be…beyond extraordinary. And the best thing was that Mr. Edwards knew him! That must have been what Mr. Edwards wanted to tell me yesterday during my birthday celebration. He must want to tell me something about my father! Tell what he was like, or where to meet him…I forgot completely that I was waiting for an answer. I turned to look at Mr. Edwards with an expression that must have been pure joy.
But there was sadness in his eyes. Why? “No, Amber. I do not know anything about your father.” I felt my face crumble. I felt as if Mr. Edwards had squashed my hopes and joy with his foot. “But I do know this, your father is very proud of you, Amber. And he loves you more than life itself. Never forget that.” He turned his head slightly. “Do you see why I didn’t tell her anything? Do you realize what you and I have done? Do you even care about her feelings?” He must have spoken to Mrs. Ellen.
My mother came to my side and hugged my shoulders. “It’s okay, it’s alright,” she whispered again and again.
I turned to look at Mrs. Ellen. She had a very odd face. It looked almost… reproaching. “You haven’t told her anything. You just told her what her father felt for her.” She turned to me. “I’m sorry, sweetie. But you must know who your father is. Believe me, once you know, I will have done all of you a favor.”
My eyes widened. Is that what they were trying to hide from me? The identity of my father? I turned to Mr. Edwards. There appeared to be some conflict in him. I wondered to myself; was he trying to protect me from the truth, or was he trying to protect himself? I decided to make him a promise. “Mr. Edwards, please, please tell me who my father is. I promise you that no matter what you tell me, I will be the same Amber that came in through these doors just a few minutes ago. Nothing will change.” Except for the fact that will know who my father is, I amended in my head.
Mr. Edwards’ face seemed to turn childlike. “Do you promise?” he asked quietly.
“Yes.”
It wasn’t until a few minutes later that I realized that there was absolutely no way I could ever keep that promise.
“Alright then…Amber Marie Dawn, I love you. Everybody in this miserable estate loves you. You are the joy to this house. So we had to lie to you…to protect you. About twenty years ago, I came to this estate. As you know, this was my father’s estate, and when he passed away, he gave it to me. I never wanted to come here. I enjoyed the city much, much more. But my father had just died, and I had to take care of his business. So without much to do about it, I came to live here.
“I thought that this was going to be the end of me, for I wanted to live and have many adventures. But then…I met her. She was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. She worked here, and she was only nineteen. But she was everything I was looking for. She was funny, smart, charismatic, brave, intuitive,” he paused to chuckle. “But she was also shy, and sweet, and exquisite. I met her, and she met me. And for some reason, she fell in love with me. I couldn’t believe it. Every night, I would think to myself. How can someone so good and innocent fall in love with someone like me? Everyday, I would ask her what had I done to deserve someone like her, and every day, she would tell me that she was the lucky one. And every day I would look in her eyes and know that I must be very lucky.
“We were together for three years. But they were the best years of my life,” he sighed wistfully.
“I married her, and I had never seen anything more beautiful than her in a wedding gown, marching down the aisle, with a full smile on her lips, her eyes full of tears, astonishment, and joy. The only thought in my head were the fact that soon she would be mine and I would be hers.
“One day, about three weeks after our marriage, we were walking in the meadow, the one by the estate—it was our meadow, in a way—when she told me something that changed me in a way that changes every man…She told me she was pregnant.” I gasped. Mr. Edwards was going to have a child? I was truly shocked. But…if he was going to have a child, then what happened to…?
“If I was the happiest man in the world when I had found my love, then there were no words to describe the happiness that coursed through me in that instant.
“Some months passed, and we were in the meadow again. We spent most of our free time in that place…she was in a beautiful summer dress I had bought her, and any day she would be ready. Her stomach was so big.” He paused to smile. It almost surprised me to be in his room, across from him. I could only imagine Mr. Edwards’ love too clearly, with her big belly, and her eyes full of happiness.
“I remember that one night very clearly.
“Suddenly, she gasped in pain. She was yelling at me that it was time. ‘The baby is coming!’ She would yell in pain. I remembered that I carried her in my arms to our room. I was afraid to leave her, but I needed to get a doctor. Mrs. Ellen was with us, so I trusted her that she would be safe until I came back.
“I didn’t take long, only the few minutes it would take to go to the town hospital and back. And even though she was clearly in pain, she was smiling. I didn’t understand until later that she was smiling because soon her child would be in her arms. And as I said before, she was a very strong woman, but…she wasn’t strong enough to make it. She gave birth, but she just…didn’t make it. I don’t really know why she…left. I begged her to keep trying, but she just told me, ‘No, Thomas. I am happy like this. I will always love you. Take care of her…’ I held her hand during every moment, so I felt when…she was gone.
“I cried then for two reasons. The first one was the obvious reason. The love of my life had just passed away, but I also cried of happiness. You see, she had left, but a little piece of her had stayed with me. The baby that I held in my arms was just the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. She was even more beautiful than her mother. ‘Impossible,’ I had whispered. She had such big eyes. Those eyes were the most beautiful part of her. And they also had the same odd color her mother had. In the center, they were hazel, but as you got farther away, they turned amber.” I gasped. He was describing
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