Beluga, A. B. Lord. [classic novels to read TXT] 📗
![](/uploads/posts/books/6/2/8/1/a-b-lord-beluga.jpg)
- Author: A. B. Lord.
Book online «Beluga, A. B. Lord. [classic novels to read TXT] 📗». Author A. B. Lord.
It wasn’t something Kate liked to talk about much. You can talk about believing in God all you want and until the cows come home, and people are cool with that. But if you start talking about talking to dead people, well, then that opens a whole new kettle of fish. A bit like when you talk to someone in a Scottish accent. eyes flare, lips purse, people treat you differently.
Her Dad’s cancer had been like a careering runaway train coming at her full speed. She didn’t know when it would hit. But she knew it would, and it would hurt. And al lthese memories and al lthese feelings were only the warning sigsn for a massive earthquake.
“We’re just coming in to the car park now, dear. Do you want me to drop you at the main entrance? Will that be ok?”
“Yes, thank you.”
The driver charged her five pounds; a still fairly standard amount in Scotland for a ten minute journey. As they exchanged notes and change, he gave her a solemn nod and drove off. It’s definitely that word, she thought. “Hospice.” People don’t like to hear that word because it can only mean bad things. She’d encountered a lot of those kinds of words recently. Cancer. Terminal. Dying. Emergency.
Again the thoughts returned. That careering train was coming closer out of the grey fog, whistles blowing, steam billowing, screaming at her.
She trenched her way through the snow until she stood on the path leading to the hospice. The snow here had turned to a horrible grey colour and was sludgy. The edges were melted and crumbling. It had been cleared by many other feet who had previously walked on. Other daughters, perhaps. And then she slowly walked through the automatic doors.
Chapter 4. See you Soon
She sat by his bed. Just him and her. His fiancé had gone to the cafe to give them some time alone. Kate liked her and was eternally grateful for the care she’d given her Dad when she couldn’t.
His skin was not what it once was. He wasn’t what we once was. Gone was the athletic and muscular bronzed man; in his place lay a pale skinned man with piercing blue eyes. His skin had taken on a grey tinge. The doctors said that would happen; it’s what happens when the body prepares for death. Things begins to shut down and one of them is the skin. It stops rejuvenating itself and grows lack lustre and dull. He had lost weight. He was just a shell of who her Dad was, but in his eyes, she could still see him. He was in there. Barely. But he was in there.
His colour was blue. Faint, but definitely still blue. All around her she felt an atmosphere.
“Dad?”
“I can still hear you, petal. You didn’t have to come all this way.”
His voice was laboured and sickly.
“I had to, Dad.”
They sat in silence. She held his hand and felt his bones through it. He squeezed her hand slightly and gestured to his other hand which was clasped in to a fist.
“I saved something for you.”
He began to cough and she helped him take a sip of water from a little cup. Little droplets escaped his mouth and she dabbed them dry with a tissue. She never thought she’d have to help her Dad drink, and yet oddly she felt she knew exactly what to do.
He gestured to his clenched fist and opened it. In his palm lay a string of little white beads with intricate carvings.
Catherine recognised them and slowly took them from his hand.
“Do you remember these? We got them in Castle Douglas when you were a little girl.”
“I remember.”
“I need you to look after them for a while, for me. Will you do that?”
She nodded and slipped them in to her handbag. She remembered that days, and then all the other special days. Her Dad and her had an extra special connection that she just couldn’t explain. It was as if they were the same spirit, shared the same energy and belonged to the exact same life. She’d lost count of the amount of times she’d gone to phone him and he’d be already on the other end of the phone, having tried to phone her at that exact same moment. And all the dreams they had both had. She’d phone and tell him about her weird dreams, only to find out he had the exact same dream. As a young boy he’s fallen off a bike and injured his knee, leaving him with a permanent scar. As a child Kate had done the same and had an identical scar on the exact same knee. They breathed the same air and somehow, over all those hundreds of miles, still existed as if they lived in the same house, as Father and daughter. Miles could never separate them.
And now he was tired and slipping further away to a place she knew she’d never find him. Every time she looked away and looked back, it was as if yet another little something had slipped. She could never tell you medically or by name what parts of him were slipping, but they were; bit by bit, piece by piece. His spirit remained and stared back at her through his glassy eyes; one side of his face paralysed by the strokes. That stare would never leave her. It was the stare of a man sure of himself, who knew the world, who knew how to take care of himself. It was a man who didn’t want to go, but knew he had to. It was cancer.
They had already decided a while ago; when it was months rather than days, and weeks rather than hours, that when the time came, she would visit, say goodbye and go. He didn’t want her missing lessons. It was an odd understanding but it would work for them. All these years, and neither of them wanted a prolonged goodbye.
It was time.
“I’ve got to go back to London, Dad.”
“I know, darlin’.”
“I love you.”
“I love you too. Always. Forever and ever. You know that, don’t you?”
“Yeah, Dad.”
“When I get there, I’ll let you know? I’ll call you.”
He was losing it. A tear bubbled in Kate’s eye. This isn’t what they had planned. He hadn’t wanted her to see him at the very end. This had been his idea, for her to say her goodbye when he was still of sound body and mind. But now, he was talking about calling her. She opted to go along with it. Let her dying Father spend his last days believing they weren’t going to be parted.
“I know, Dad. I’ll see you soon.”
“You too, darlin’.”
And with that she stood up, kissed him on the forehead, and slowly walked out. She followed the hospice corridors as they went past door after door after door. Each room filled with yet another person, perhaps planning a similar goodbye to hers.
It was done.
It was time to go back to London.
He passed at 3:05am the following morning.
Frank Whitfield belonged to another man’s horizon.
Next time it’s dark, take a walk along to Tower Bridge, along the bank of the river Thames in London. Look out across the water at the city and you will see a city glowing with every colour under the sun. It will entice you with its flashing lights, river side bars and late night sounds. It is a city which breathes energy on to anyone who walks across its bridges. Kate liked London, but she loved London at night. Its colours spoke to her.
The Docklands, glowed with blues, yellows and greens; all lit up against the night sky. It was exciting and romantic, romantic like pioneers arriving in London from long journeys abroad, bringing coffee and chocolate to the Londoners. It called for pretty dresses and nights spent in little restaurants sampling delicious foods. It was a cool breeze of the green Thames, which shone midnight blues and purples in the night. Its surface glittered; breathing and living.
London Bridge, was lively and red. Always. Just like Soho and China Town. It called for little kitten heels worn with glowing silk dresses, nipped in at all the right places. And big hair and little clutch purses of gold. Such outfits are made for walking through London Bridge on the arm of a good friend. Cross through the glass tower blocks of business and you will meet the Thames yet again. H. M. S. Belfast waits to greet you, and a million other boats, offering to carry you through the glistening darkness to your unknown destination.
And her favourite, Greenwich, home to the National Maritime Museum and countless little restaurants. It’s colours are so bright and beautiful, it would be a crime to challenge it by wearing any other colour than that which blended in and stood back and allowed the already existing colours to do
Comments (0)