Down and Out in the Magic Kingdom, Cory Doctorow [best book reader TXT] 📗
- Author: Cory Doctorow
Book online «Down and Out in the Magic Kingdom, Cory Doctorow [best book reader TXT] 📗». Author Cory Doctorow
I smiled back at her, because it was only natural that one of the Whuffie-kings who were privileged to tend this bit of heavenly entertainment should notice how thoroughly I was enjoying her work.
“That’s really, really Bitchun,” I said to her, admiring the titanic mountains of Whuffie my HUD attributed to her.
She was in character, and not supposed to be cheerful, but castmembers of her generation can’t help but be friendly. She compromised between ghastly demeanor and her natural sweet spirit, and leered a grin at me, thumped through a zombie’s curtsey, and moaned “Thank you—we do try to keep it spirited.”
I groaned appreciatively, and started to notice just how very cute she was, this little button of a girl with her rotting maid’s uniform and her feather-shedding duster. She was just so clean and scrubbed and happy about everything, she radiated it and made me want to pinch her cheeks—either set.
The moment was on me, and so I said, “When do they let you ghouls off? I’d love to take you out for a Zombie or a Bloody Mary.”
Which led to more horrifying banter, and to my taking her out for a couple at the Adventurer’s Club, learning her age in the process and losing my nerve, telling myself that there was nothing we could possibly have to say to each other across a century-wide gap.
While I tell Lil that I noticed her first and the Mansion second, the reverse is indeed true. But it’s also true—and I never told her this—that the thing I love best about the Mansion is:
It’s where I met her.
Dan and I spent the day riding the Mansion, drafting scripts for the telepresence players who we hoped to bring on-board. We were in a totally creative zone, the dialog running as fast as he could transcribe it. Jamming on ideas with Dan was just about as terrific as a pass-time could be.
I was all for leaking the plan to the Net right away, getting hearts-and-minds action with our core audience, but Lil turned it down.
She was going to spend the next couple days quietly politicking among the rest of the ad-hoc, getting some support for the idea, and she didn’t want the appearance of impropriety that would come from having outsiders being brought in before the ad-hoc.
Talking to the ad-hocs, bringing them around—it was a skill I’d never really mastered. Dan was good at it, Lil was good at it, but me, I think that I was too self-centered to ever develop good skills as a peacemaker. In my younger days, I assumed that it was because I was smarter than everyone else, with no patience for explaining things in short words for mouth-breathers who just didn’t get it.
The truth of the matter is, I’m a bright enough guy, but I’m hardly a genius. Especially when it comes to people. Probably comes from Beating The Crowd, never seeing individuals, just the mass—the enemy of expedience.
I never would have made it into the Liberty Square ad-hoc on my own. Lil made it happen for me, long before we started sleeping together. I’d assumed that her folks would be my best allies in the process of joining up, but they were too jaded, too ready to take the long sleep to pay much attention to a newcomer like me.
Lil took me under her wing, inviting me to after-work parties, talking me up to her cronies, quietly passing around copies of my thesis-work. And she did the same in reverse, sincerely extolling the virtues of the others I met, so that I knew what there was to respect about them and couldn’t help but treat them as individuals.
In the years since, I’d lost that respect. Mostly, I palled around with Lil, and once he arrived, Dan, and with net-friends around the world. The ad-hocs that I worked with all day treated me with basic courtesy but not much friendliness.
I guess I treated them the same. When I pictured them in my mind, they were a faceless, passive-aggressive mass, too caught up in the starchy world of consensus-building to ever do much of anything.
Dan and I threw ourselves into it headlong, trolling the Net for address lists of Mansion-otakus from the four corners of the globe, spreadsheeting them against their timezones, temperaments, and, of course, their Whuffie.
“That’s weird,” I said, looking up from the old-fashioned terminal I was using—my systems were back offline. They’d been sputtering up and down for a couple days now, and I kept meaning to go to the doctor, but I’d never gotten ’round to it. Periodically, I’d get a jolt of urgency when I remembered that this meant my backup was stale-dating, but the Mansion always took precedence.
“Huh?” he said.
I tapped the display. “See these?” It was a fan-site, displaying a collection of animated 3-D meshes of various elements of the Mansion, part of a giant collaborative project that had been ongoing for decades, to build an accurate 3-D walkthrough of every inch of the Park. I’d used those meshes to build my own testing fly-throughs.
“Those are terrific,” Dan said. “That guy must be a total fiend.” The meshes’ author had painstakingly modeled, chained and animated every ghost in the ballroom scene, complete with the kinematics necessary for full motion. Where a “normal” fan-artist might’ve used a standard human kinematics library for the figures, this one had actually written his own from the ground up, so that the ghosts moved with a spectral fluidity that was utterly unhuman.
“Who’s the author?” Dan asked. “Do we have him on our list yet?”
I scrolled down to display the credits. “I’ll be damned,” Dan breathed.
The author was Tim, Debra’s elfin crony. He’d submitted the designs a week before my assassination.
“What do you think it means?” I asked Dan, though I had a couple ideas on the subject myself.
“Tim’s a Mansion nut,” Dan said. “I knew that.”
“You knew?”
He looked a little defensive. “Sure. I told you, back when you had me hanging out with Debra’s gang.”
Had I asked him to hang out with Debra? As I remembered it, it had been his suggestion. Too much to think about.
“But what does it mean, Dan? Is he an ally? Should we try to recruit him? Or is he the one that’d convinced Debra she needs to take over the Mansion?”
Dan shook his head. “I’m not even sure that she wants to take over the Mansion. I know Debra, all she wants to do is turn ideas into things, as fast and as copiously as possible. She picks her projects carefully. She’s acquisitive, sure, but she’s cautious. She had a great idea for Presidents, and so she took over. I never heard her talk about the Mansion.”
“Of course you didn’t. She’s cagey. Did you hear her talk about the Hall of Presidents?”
Dan fumbled. “Not really. … mean, not in so many words, but—”
“But nothing,” I said. “She’s after the Mansion, she’s after the Magic Kingdom, she’s after the Park. She’s taking over, goddamn it, and I’m the only one who seems to have noticed.”
I came clean to Lil about my systems that night, as we were fighting. Fighting had become our regular evening pastime, and Dan had taken to sleeping at one of the hotels on-site rather than endure it.
I’d started it, of course. “We’re going to get killed if we don’t get off our asses and start the rehab,” I said, slamming myself down on the sofa and kicking at the scratched coffee table. I heard the hysteria and unreason in my voice and it just made me madder. I was frustrated by not being able to check in on Suneep and Dan, and, as usual, it was too late at night to call anyone and do anything about it. By the morning, I’d have forgotten again.
From the kitchen, Lil barked back, “I’m doing what I can, Jules. If you’ve got a better way, I’d love to hear about it.”
“Oh, bullshit. I’m doing what I can, planning the thing out. I’m ready to go. It was your job to get the ad-hocs ready for it, but you keep telling me they’re not. When will they be?”
“Jesus, you’re a nag.”
“I wouldn’t nag if you’d only fucking make it happen. What are you doing all day, anyway? Working shifts at the Mansion? Rearranging deck chairs on the Great Titanic Adventure?”
“I’m working my fucking ass off. I’ve spoken to every goddamn one of them at least twice this week about it.”
“Sure,” I hollered at the kitchen. “Sure you have.”
“Don’t take my word for it, then. Check my fucking phone logs.”
She waited.
“Well? Check them!”
“I’ll check them later,” I said, dreading where this was going.
“Oh, no you don’t,” she said, stalking into the room, fuming. “You can’t call me a liar and then refuse to look at the evidence.” She planted her hands on her slim little hips and glared at me. She’d gone pale and I could count every freckle on her face, her throat, her collarbones, the swell of her cleavage in the old vee-neck shirt I’d given her on a day-trip to Nassau.
“Well?” she asked. She looked ready to wring my neck.
“I can’t,” I admitted, not meeting her eyes.
“Yes you can—here, I’ll dump it to your public directory.”
Her expression shifted to one of puzzlement when she failed to locate me on her network. “What’s going on?”
So I told her. Offline, outcast, malfunctioning.
“Well, why haven’t you gone to the doctor? I mean, it’s been weeks. I’ll call him right now.”
“Forget it,” I said. “I’ll see him tomorrow. No sense in getting him out of bed.”
But I didn’t see him the day after, or the day after that. Too much to do, and the only times I remembered to call someone, I was too far from a public terminal or it was too late or too early. My systems came online a couple times, and I was too busy with the plans for the Mansion. Lil grew accustomed to the drifts of hard copy that littered the house, to printing out her annotations to my designs and leaving them on my favorite chair—to living like the cavemen of the information age had, surrounded by dead trees and ticking clocks.
Being offline helped me focus. Focus is hardly the word for it—I obsessed. I sat in front of the terminal I’d brought home all day, every day, crunching plans, dictating voicemail. People who wanted to reach me had to haul ass out to the house, and speak to me.
I grew too obsessed to fight, and Dan moved back, and then it was my turn to take hotel rooms so that the rattle of my keyboard wouldn’t keep him up nights. He and Lil were working a full-time campaign to recruit the ad-hoc to our cause, and I started to feel like we were finally in harmony, about to reach our goal.
I went home one afternoon clutching a sheaf of hardcopy and burst into the living room, gabbling a mile-a-minute about a wrinkle on my original plan that would add a third walk-through segment to the ride, increasing the number of telepresence rigs we could use without decreasing throughput.
I was mid-babble when my systems came back online. The public chatter in the room sprang up on my HUD.
And then I’m going to tear off every stitch of clothing and jump you.
And then what?
I’m going to bang you till you limp.
Jesus, Lil, you are one rangy cowgirl.
My eyes closed, shutting out everything except for the glowing letters. Quickly, they vanished. I opened my eyes again, looking at Lil, who was flushed and distracted. Dan looked scared.
“What’s going on, Dan?” I asked quietly. My heart hammered in my chest, but I felt calm and detached.
“Jules,” he began, then gave
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