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never done anything like that.” my face turned even redder.
She gawked at me. “Never? But you always sleep in Kail-sama’s room…and with him in the same futon no less! How is this possible?” she seemed to be talking to her more than me. “He must really be holding back! Wow.”
Then she looked me full in the face. “Ash, Kail-sama’s must have been holding back. He loves you that much. So much as not to hurt or scare you.” she smiled but this one was sad. “Or maybe even thought he promised he hasn’t touched you because he plans on you going back home.”
I stood there no longer happy, shy and embarrassed, but struck to my core with a cold fear.
“He wouldn’t. He promised. I won’t let him. I will not be my mother! I refuse!” tears I thought gone came to my eyes and fell to the floor.
Momo came over to me and pulled my shaking form to her’s.
“I did not mean to make you cry. Of course he won’t send you home. He needs you.
When you didn’t wake up after the fire he went insane thinking you would die, because you saved both him and the emperor. He blamed himself for that as well as all the other time you were hurt. Stop crying what I said was a lie.”
I quieted soon and told her she could leave I would be okay, but didn’t think so but I insisted. So she left.
I walked to my room in a dark stormy state. I fell on to my old futon not caring as I hit my head on the ground. I just laid there.
He wouldn’t send me home. He loves me as I love him. He promised he wouldn’t, but then why did he act so distant. Even as I lay in his arms at night he feels so far away. He holds me so tight, but now I just don’t know. But I refuse to follow in my mom’s footsteps! He needs me and I need him there is no way he would leave me and send me back.
But even as I ran it through my mind I knew that in my heart he might.
The war was starting up again far to the west and we were winning. That was the news brought to me by Momo. I was still lying on the floor of my old room and she had come to check on me.
She thought this might cheer me even a little. But the truth is told I didn’t even know there was a war happening. And nothing could sweeten my black mood.
I missed breakfast, lunch and dinner as the sky turned black; I just lay there looking out the open doors of the room to the night sky.
Like I said before I was doomed to end like my mom and her love. But I cannot say that I wish it gone for I knew I was better off with knowing this feeling. But there’s a chance he may not send me way.
Then an idea came to me. Even if the chance was little it may work. I will have to do my best to make him sure he wouldn’t let me go.
I went over to the trunk that held everything I came with. The diary, my dress, shoes, and then I found it the thin see-through shirt that went under the corset. It had very thin straps, and went only to the middle of my thighs. It was so thin it appeared to be woven of the thinnest and finest silk.
And it was just what I needed. It would show off my thin waist as well as my large chest, and my finely shaped legs.
I slipped off my kimono and put it on and then one of my thin female kimonos. I unpinned my hair and it nearly touched the floor.
It was about time everyone be going to but for it was almost midnight. Even the servants would be in bed by now.
I made my way as quite as I could to Kail’s room. I heard a voice coming from the direction of his room and I hid behind a curtain and listened.
“Kail-samba’s I was very foolish and told her something I shouldn’t have. Now she’s in the darkest mood I’ve ever seen her in!”
Oh my god! It’s Momo and Kail!
“Where is she?” Kail asked worried instantly. “What did you say to her?”
“In her old room. We were taking baths and…” she told him everything and I didn’t hear him say a single thing. But I was grateful that she hadn’t noticed my hand.
Then, “You told her since I didn’t touch her that was because of I might send her back,” he asked shaken. As if she had ripped him apart.
I think she nodded.
“I was thinking about it. Because here in this world she only gets hurt. I would rather send her back and live a life of despair ratter then her being killed or worse, tortured again. But then I couldn’t live without her. I’m as confused as what to do!”
“I think that maybe it is best to let her decide. It is her life.” Momo said. “She gave me that choice and thanks to that I’ll be marrying Sen soon and I’ve never been happier.”
“But I don’t know what I’ll do if she’s hurt again…”
I stepped out from hiding beside the curtain. I had heard enough. I went and slid open the door.
They stared at me then Momo left with a smile that said she understood.
I closed the door behind her and turned to Kail. He was sitting on the floor. I kneeled down in front of him and hugged him.
His arms slid around my waist and pulled me to him. I pulled back and kissed his lips.
“Please don’t send my back,” I whispered. Tears streaked down my cheeks, “You are all have. This is what I’ve been looking for all my life. This is where I belong. I belong only with you. I don’t care what happens to me as long as I can be only yours.”
He closed his eyes and pulled me to him and his arms like steel incased me.
“I’m sorry. I never thought you would feel this way, and either did I. I swear I won’t send you way. You belong with me and only to me. You are my true home. I love you,” he whispered in my ear.
He laid me on the futon and looked into my eyes. I looked into those eyes I fell in love with that showed his soul and heart to me. Those silver eyes like the stars of the night sky. They were filled with love and a dim flicker of worry.
I wrapped my arms round his neck. “Make me yours,” I whispered. I rose up to kiss him, but he pressed me down and covered my mouth with his.
He stopped and looked down at me. “Are you sure?”
“I only want you. I love only you. Yes. Please.” I whispered and with that last word he did just that.
And I swear I heard him say, “So be it.”
As we lay there intertwined, shared tears of happiness fell and tender kisses of love and promises were made. I had found what had been missing in my life and I couldn’t have been happier to lose everything to keep this.
I felt him pull my wounded hand over to him so he could look at it. I tried to pull it away but it did no good.
“What happened to you,” he asked as he started to take the cloth off. I said nothing until he saw my palm. So I thought it’s was better to just tell him.
“I burned my hand with wax from a candle last night. It's fine.” I said hoping he wouldn’t ask for more. He didn’t and for that I was thankful.
“Ash I must tell you that…the emperor has called us to the Palace. He wishes meet…the young man who saved his life. I’ve been trying to keep this from you for a while longer but as it seems he can’t wait any longer. I messaged him this morning that we would see him tomorrow.”
I twisted in his arms and stared at him a horror. “What! The emperor!?” I gasped.
Oh boy this was bad! I’ll have to meet the emperor! And what’s worse as a boy!
“Sorry I didn’t tell you earlier.” he said looking sheepish.
I heaved a heavy sigh. “Only eight months in this place and things always get worse after a good thing happens.” I put a hand over my face and decided that this was going to be a strange time.


Chapter Ten
Misunderstandings


It was cold. Freezing.
The wind was whipping around me and I stood on top of a snow mountain. A hawk cried as is flew to me. I held out my arm and the bird landed. Its black eyes looking into mine. Then I noticed a wet feeling on my chest. I was bleeding and it slowly spread, starting a pattern. Circles and crisis crossing lines formed a crossed my chest as the blood seeked a path to be freed.
I knew I should stop the blood. I knew I should be worried about bleeding to death. I knew I should be afraid or even scared, but all I can feel was a still calmness.
I looked down on a valley below. Bodies littered the ground and the snow dyed red with the blood of lost souls. And as my feet gave way under me the screams of the lost souls shattered my vision.
I jerked up and looked around to find I had fallen asleep while on the ride to the Imperial City.
But the screaming was still continuing, so looked to see what was happening. Down the rode a company of people where being
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