Love and Friendship, and Other Early Works, Jane Austen [bts books to read txt] 📗
- Author: Jane Austen
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duration, which led her to observe that all earthly Joys must be
imperfect. She was proceeding to illustrate this doctrine by
examples from the Lives of great Men when the Carriage came to
the Door and the amiable Moralist with her Father and Sister was
obliged to depart; but not without a promise of spending five or
six months with us on their return. We of course mentioned you,
and I assure you that ample Justice was done to your Merits by
all. “Louisa Clarke (said I) is in general a very pleasant Girl,
yet sometimes her good humour is clouded by Peevishness, Envy and
Spite. She neither wants Understanding or is without some
pretensions to Beauty, but these are so very trifling, that the
value she sets on her personal charms, and the adoration she
expects them to be offered are at once a striking example of her
vanity, her pride, and her folly.” So said I, and to my opinion
everyone added weight by the concurrence of their own.
Your affectionate
Arabella Smythe.
THE FIRST ACT OF A COMEDY
CHARACTERSPopgun Maria
Charles Pistolletta
Postilion Hostess
Chorus of ploughboys Cook
and and
Strephon Chloe
SCENE—AN INNENTER Hostess, Charles, Maria, and Cook.
Hostess to Maria) If the gentry in the Lion should want beds,
shew them number 9.
Maria) Yes Mistress.— EXIT Maria
Hostess to Cook) If their Honours in the Moon ask for the bill of
fare, give it them.
Cook) I wull, I wull. EXIT Cook.
Hostess to Charles) If their Ladyships in the Sun ring their
Bell—answerit.
Charles) Yes Madam. EXEUNT Severally.
SCENE CHANGES TO THE MOON, and discovers Popgun and Pistoletta.
Pistoletta) Pray papa how far is it to London?
Popgun) My Girl, my Darling, my favourite of all my Children, who
art the picture of thy poor Mother who died two months ago, with
whom I am going to Town to marry to Strephon, and to whom I mean
to bequeath my whole Estate, it wants seven Miles.
SCENE CHANGES TO THE SUN—ENTER Chloe and a chorus of ploughboys.
Chloe) Where am I? At Hounslow.—Where go I? To London—. What
to do? To be married—. Unto whom? Unto Strephon. Who is he?
A Youth. Then I will sing a song.
SONGI go to Town
And when I come down,
I shall be married to Streephon* [*Note the two e’s]
And that to me will be fun.
Chorus) Be fun, be fun, be fun,
And that to me will be fun.
ENTER Cook—
Cook) Here is the bill of fare.
Chloe reads) 2 Ducks, a leg of beef, a stinking partridge, and a
tart.—I will have the leg of beef and the partridge. EXIT Cook.
And now I will sing another song.
SONG—I am going to have my dinner,
After which I shan’t be thinner,
I wish I had here Strephon
For he would carve the partridge if it should
be a tough one.
Chorus)
Tough one, tough one, tough one
For he would carve the partridge if it
Should be a tough one.
EXIT Chloe and Chorus.—
SCENE CHANGES TO THE INSIDE OF THE LION.
Enter Strephon and Postilion.
Streph:) You drove me from Staines to this place, from whence I
mean to go to Town to marry Chloe. How much is your due?
Post:) Eighteen pence.
Streph:) Alas, my freind, I have but a bad guinea with which I
mean to support myself in Town. But I will pawn to you an
undirected Letter that I received from Chloe.
Post:) Sir, I accept your offer.
END OF THE FIRST ACT.
A LETTER from a YOUNG LADY, whose feelings being too strong for
her Judgement led her into the commission of Errors which her
Heart disapproved.
Many have been the cares and vicissitudes of my past life, my
beloved Ellinor, and the only consolation I feel for their
bitterness is that on a close examination of my conduct, I am
convinced that I have strictly deserved them. I murdered my
father at a very early period of my Life, I have since murdered
my Mother, and I am now going to murder my Sister. I have
changed my religion so often that at present I have not an idea
of any left. I have been a perjured witness in every public tryal
for these last twelve years; and I have forged my own Will. In
short there is scarcely a crime that I have not committed—But I
am now going to reform. Colonel Martin of the Horse guards has
paid his Addresses to me, and we are to be married in a few days.
As there is something singular in our Courtship, I will give you
an account of it. Colonel Martin is the second son of the late
Sir John Martin who died immensely rich, but bequeathing only one
hundred thousand pound apeice to his three younger Children, left
the bulk of his fortune, about eight Million to the present Sir
Thomas. Upon his small pittance the Colonel lived tolerably
contented for nearly four months when he took it into his head to
determine on getting the whole of his eldest Brother’s Estate. A
new will was forged and the Colonel produced it in Court—but
nobody would swear to it’s being the right will except himself,
and he had sworn so much that Nobody beleived him. At that moment
I happened to be passing by the door of the Court, and was
beckoned in by the Judge who told the Colonel that I was a Lady
ready to witness anything for the cause of Justice, and advised
him to apply to me. In short the Affair was soon adjusted. The
Colonel and I swore to its’ being the right will, and Sir Thomas
has been obliged to resign all his illgotten wealth. The Colonel
in gratitude waited on me the next day with an offer of his hand
—. I am now going to murder my Sister.
Yours Ever,
Anna Parker.
A TOUR THROUGH WALES—in a LETTER from a YOUNG LADY—
My Dear Clara
I have been so long on the ramble that I have not till now had it
in my power to thank you for your Letter—. We left our dear home
on last Monday month; and proceeded on our tour through Wales,
which is a principality contiguous to England and gives the title
to the Prince of Wales. We travelled on horseback by preference.
My Mother rode upon our little poney and Fanny and I walked by
her side or rather ran, for my Mother is so fond of riding fast
that she galloped all the way. You may be sure that we were in a
fine perspiration when we came to our place of resting. Fanny has
taken a great many Drawings of the Country, which are very
beautiful, tho’ perhaps not such exact resemblances as might be
wished, from their being taken as she ran along. It would
astonish you to see all the Shoes we wore out in our Tour. We
determined to take a good Stock with us and therefore each took a
pair of our own besides those we set off in. However we were
obliged to have them both capped and heelpeiced at Carmarthen,
and at last when they were quite gone, Mama was so kind as to
lend us a pair of blue Sattin Slippers, of which we each took one
and hopped home from Hereford delightfully–
I am your ever affectionate
Elizabeth Johnson.
A TALE.
A Gentleman whose family name I shall conceal, bought a small
Cottage in Pembrokeshire about two years ago. This daring Action
was suggested to him by his elder Brother who promised to furnish
two rooms and a Closet for him, provided he would take a small
house near the borders of an extensive Forest, and about three
Miles from the Sea. Wilhelminus gladly accepted the offer and
continued for some time searching after such a retreat when he
was one morning agreably releived from his suspence by reading
this advertisement in a Newspaper.
TO BE LETTA Neat Cottage on the borders of an extensive forest and about
three Miles from the Sea. It is ready furnished except two rooms
and a Closet.
The delighted Wilhelminus posted away immediately to his brother,
and shewed him the advertisement. Robertus congratulated him and
sent him in his Carriage to take possession of the Cottage.
After travelling for three days and six nights without stopping,
they arrived at the Forest and following a track which led by
it’s side down a steep Hill over which ten Rivulets meandered,
they reached the Cottage in half an hour. Wilhelminus alighted,
and after knocking for some time without receiving any answer or
hearing any one stir within, he opened the door which was
fastened only by a wooden latch and entered a small room, which
he immediately perceived to be one of the two that were
unfurnished—From thence he proceeded into a Closet equally
bare. A pair of stairs that went out of it led him into a room
above, no less destitute, and these apartments he found composed
the whole of the House. He was by no means displeased with this
discovery, as he had the comfort of reflecting that he should not
be obliged to lay out anything on furniture himself—. He
returned immediately to his Brother, who took him the next day to
every Shop in Town, and bought what ever was requisite to furnish
the two rooms and the Closet, In a few days everything was
completed, and Wilhelminus returned to take possession of his
Cottage. Robertus accompanied him, with his Lady the amiable
Cecilia and her two lovely Sisters Arabella and Marina to whom
Wilhelminus was tenderly attached, and a large number of
Attendants.—An ordinary Genius might probably have been
embarrassed, in endeavouring to accomodate so large a party, but
Wilhelminus with admirable presence of mind gave orders for the
immediate erection of two noble Tents in an open spot in the
Forest adjoining to the house. Their Construction was both
simple and elegant—A couple of old blankets, each supported by
four sticks, gave a striking proof of that taste for architecture
and that happy ease in overcoming difficulties which were some of
Wilhelminus’s most striking Virtues.
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