In the Sargasso Sea, Thomas A. Janvier [ebook reader for pc .txt] 📗
- Author: Thomas A. Janvier
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As the first step in carrying out my plan—and it seemed to be such a
good plan that I felt almost lighthearted over it—I got up on the
rail of the old brig and jumped back to the less-old Wasp again:
landing in her main-channels, and thence easily boarding her by
scrambling up what was left of the chains. But in taking my next step
I had no choice in the matter, as only one other vessel was in touch
with the sloop—a heavily-built little schooner that had the look of
being quite as old as the brig which I had just left. And her age
was so evident as I came aboard of her—having crossed the deck of the
Wasp hastily, picking my way among the scattered bones—that of a
sudden my faith in my fine plan for getting out of the tangle began
to wane.
In a general way, of course, the conclusion which I had arrived at was
a sound one. Broadly speaking, it was certain that could I pass in a
straight line from the centre to the circumference of that vast
assemblage of wrecks I constantly would find vessels of newer build;
and so at last, upon the outermost fringe, would come to the wrecks of
ships belonging to my own day. But one weak point in my calculations
was my inability to hold to a straight line, or to anything like
one—because I had to advance from one wreck to another as they
happened to touch or to be within jumping distance of each other, and
therefore went crookedly upon my course and often fairly had to double
on it. And another weak point was that the sea in its tempests
recognizes no order of seniority, but destroys in the same breath of
storm ships just beginning their lives upon it and ships which have
withstood its ragings for a hundred years: so that I very well might
find—as I actually did find in the case of the Wasp—a
comparatively modern-built vessel lying hemmed in by ancient craft,
survivals of obsolete types, which had lingered so long upon the
ocean that in their lives as in their deaths they merged and blended
the present and the past.
Thus a check was put upon my plan at the very outset; yet in a stolid
sort of way—knowing that to give it up entirely would be to bring
despair upon me, for I could not think of a better one—I tried still
to hold by it: going on from the clumsy little old schooner to that
one of two vessels lying beyond her which I fancied, though both of
them belonged to a long past period, was the more modern-looking in
her build. And so I continued to go onward over a dozen craft of one
sort or another, holding by my rule—or trying to believe that I was
holding by it, for all of the wrecks which I crossed were of an
antique type—and now and then being left with no chance for choosing
by finding open to me only a single way. And all this while the
daylight was leaving me—the sun having gone down a ruddy globe beyond
the forest of wrecks westward, and heavy purple shadows having begun
to close down upon me through the low-hanging haze.
The imminence of nightfall made clear to me that I had no chance
whatever of getting out from among those long-dead ships before the
next morning; and this certainty was the harder to bear because I was
desperately hungry—more than six hours having passed since I had
eaten anything—and thirsty too: though my thirst, because of the
dampness of the haze I suppose, was not very severe. But the belief
that I really was advancing toward the coast of my strange floating
continent and that I should find both food and drink when I got there,
made me press forward; comforting myself as well as I could with the
reflection that even though I did have to keep a hungry and thirsty
vigil among those old withered hulks I yet should be the nearer, by
every one of them that I put behind me that night, to the freshly come
in wrecks on the coast line—where I made sure of finding a breakfast
on the following day. Moreover, I knew how forlornly miserable I
should be the moment that I lost the excitement of scrambling and
climbing and just sat down there among the ancient dead, with the
darkness closing over me, to wait for the slow coming of another day.
And my dread of that desolate loneliness urged me to push forward
while the least bit of daylight was left by which to see my way.
It was ticklish work, as the dusk deepened, getting from one wreck to
another; and at last—after nearly going down into the weed between
two of them, because of a rotten belaying-pin that I caught at
breaking in my hand—I had to resign myself to giving over until
morning any farther attempt to advance. But I was cheered by the
thought that I had got on a good way in the hour or more that had gone
since I had left the Wasp behind me; and so I tried to make the
best of things as I cast around me for some sheltered nook on the deck
of the vessel I had come aboard of—a little clumsy old brig—where my
night might be passed. As to going below, either into the cabin or the
forecastle, I could not bring myself to it; for my heart failed me at
the thought of what I might touch in the darkness there, and my
mind—sore and troubled by all that I had passed through, and by the
dim dread filling it—certainly would have crowded those black depths
with grisly phantoms until I very well might have gone mad.
And so, as I say, I cast about the deck of the brig for some nook that
would shelter me from the dampness while I did my best to sleep away
into forgetfulness my hunger and my thirst; but was troubled all the
while that I was making my round of investigation by a haunting
feeling that I had been on that same deck only a little while before.
Growing stronger and stronger, this feeling became so insistent that I
could not rest for it; and presently compelled me to try to quiet it
by taking a look at the wreck next beyond the brig to see if I
recognized that too—as would be likely, since I must have crossed it
also, had I really come that way.
I did not try to board this adjoining wreck, but only clambered up on
the rail of the brig so that I could look well at it—and when I got
my look I came more nearly to breaking down completely than I had
done at any time since I had been cast overboard from the _Golden
Hind_, For there, showing faintly in the gloom below me, was the
gun-set deck of a war-ship, and over the deck dimly-gleaming bones
were scattered—and in that moment I knew that the whole of my
wandering had been but a circle, and that I was come back again at the
weary ending of it to the Wasp.
But what crushed the heart of me was not that my afternoon of toil had
been wasted, but the strong conviction—from which I no longer saw any
way of escaping—that I had strayed too deep into that hideous
sea-labyrinth ever to find my way out of it, and that I must die there
slowly for lack of water and of food.
XXHOW I SPENT A NIGHT WEARILY
I got down from the rail and seated myself on the brig’s deck, leaning
my back against her bulwarks and a little sheltered by their
old-fashioned inboard overhang. But I had no very clear notion of
what I was doing; and my feeling, so far as I had any feeling, was
less that I was moving of my own volition than that I was being moved
by some power acting from outside of me—the sensation of
irresponsibility that comes to one sometimes in a dream.
Indeed, the whole of that night seemed to me then, and still seems to
me, much more a dream than a reality: I being utterly wearied by my
long hard day’s work in scrambling about among the wrecks, and a
little light-headed because of my stomach’s emptiness, and feverish
because of my growing thirst, and my mind stunned by the dull pain of
my despair. And it was lucky for me, I suppose, that my thinking
powers were so feeble and so blunted. Had I been fully awake to my own
misery I might very well have gone crazy there in the darkness; or
have been moved by a sharp horror of my surroundings to try to escape
them by going on through the black night from ship to ship—which
would have ended quickly by my falling down the side of one or another
of them and so drowning beneath the weed.
Yet the sort of stupor that I was in did not hold fast my inner
consciousness; being rather a numbing cloud surrounding me and
separating me from things external—though not cutting me off from
them wholly—while within this wrapping my spirit in a way was awake
and free. And the result of my being thus on something less than
speaking terms with my own body was to make my attitude toward it that
of a sympathizing acquaintance, with merely a lively pity for its
ill-being, rather than that of a personal partaker in its pains. And
even my mental attitude toward myself was a good deal of the same
sort: for my thoughts kept turning sorrowfully to the sorrow of my own
spirit solitary there, shrinking within itself because of its chill
forsakenness and lonely pain of finding itself so desolate—the one
thing living in that great sea-garnering of the dead.
And after a while—either because my light-headedness increased, or
because I dozed and took to dreaming—I had the feeling that the dense
blackness about me, a gloom that the heavily overhanging mist made
almost palpable, was filling with all those dead spirits come to
peer curiously into my living spirit; and that they hated it and were
envious of it because it was not as they were but still was alive. And
from this, presently, I went on to fancying that I could see them
about me clad again dimly in the forms which had clothed them when
they also in their time had been living men. At first they were
uncertain and shadowy, but before long they became so distinct that I
plainly saw them: shaggy-bearded resolute fellows, roughly dressed in
strange old-fashioned sea-gear, with here and there among them others
in finer garb having the still more resolute air of officers; and all
with the fierce determined look of those old-time mariners of the
period when all the ocean was a battling-place where seamen spent
their time—and most of them, in the end, spent their lives also—in
fighting with each other and in fighting with the sea.
Gradually this throng of the sea-dead filled the whole deck about me
and everywhere hemmed me in; but they gave no heed to me, and were
ranged orderly at their stations as though the service of the ship was
being carried on. Among themselves they seemed to talk; but I could
hear nothing of what they were saying, though I fancied that there was
a humming sound filling the air about me like the murmur of a far-away
crowd. Now and then an angry bout would spring up suddenly between two
or three of
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