Poison, Jennifer Mueller [good non fiction books to read TXT] 📗

constantly, reminding me of what i had don.
"Jinx do you have anything to say?" mrs. Marie asked me, breaking me from my reverie.
I had blanked out for a while.
My mind was racing. Memories flew by my eyes like speeding cars.
"Jinx are you going to say anything?"
My eyes filled up with tears.
Jordan..
Images flashed through my mind faster then lightning.
The pain..
Its coming back..
No..
I must escape it..
I can't bare this pain much longer..
Black clouds started flaming my field of view.
Before depression could grab ahold of me, I ran out of the auditorium, crying.


Chapter six

It was like Satan was taunting me, having his cronies follow me around.
Taunting the hell out of me, not leaving me alone.
Reminding me of i have done. Haunting me.
I ran into the bathroom and locked s
I sat in the corner and cried hysterically.
"Why did he hurt me.. " i wailed.
"I loved him so much, and he just broke my heart.." i cried.
There was a knock at the door, someone wanted to come in.
My throat closed up and i almost started oto have a coughing fit.
"Jinx its Kyle. someone told me you ran in here please come out.."
I slowly got up and out of the corner . I unlocked the door and hurled myself into his loving arms.
Wake me up from this nightmare. i thought.
He held me for a long time without saying a word.
"Jinx whats wrong?" Kyyle whispered to me.
"Nothing."
He gave me a disbelieving look but said no more.
I started to shake as i begun to cry.
"Oh baby..."he held me closer to his body.
"Tell me whats wwrong i want to help." he looked concerned.
"I dont deserve to live baby. i shouldve died when i threw myself infront of the car.."
Kyle looked spellbound.
"I dont understand why you say that. You deserve life. you do.."
I cried.
I shook my heard crying.
"I dont deserve to live.. i dont i dont i dont!" before i knew it i was screaming
"i dont deserve to be loved. i deserve to die alone and be miserable."
"Jinx please..."Kyles voice cracked like he was going to cry.
His eyes teared up and he started whimpering.
Before i could say anything tlo help or calm him down, Kyle started to cry hysterically.
"Kyle please dont cry please..."
i reached out for him
He collapsed into my arms.
"I dont want to loose you. I cant i love you so much." the platinum blonde emo boy cried.
"I love you too" i clutched onto him for dear life.
He wept on my shoulder for a long time which felt like hours.
"I want to go home." Kyle said.
"Ill go with you." i grabbed ahold of his hand.
He nodded at me and called his mom to pick him up.

*******

His brother picked us up in his black mustang which was blasting Drop Dead Gorgeous' "Dressed for friend request"

See through the wreckage..
Into the fire..
inside my heart...

The music was so loud the car vibrated. Kyle and i clambered into the back and held eachother.

She's dressed to kill..
i dont know what to wear..
shes dressed to kill..
shes dressed to kill..

I held him closer to me.
"Hey love birds no making out in my car." his brother Adam yelled over the music.
"Adam can you drop us off at Jinx's house?" Kyle asked his preppy brother


Chapter seven

We walked into my house, no one was home.
It was just him and i.
"Kyle.. " i reached out for him.
He grabbed my hand and brought me into his chest.
I couldnt smile, if i could i wouldve.
But when i tried, it came out as a lip twitch.
Kyle looked at me stanglely.
"Jinx why cant you smile? I want to see that beautiful smile of yours." he whispered.
"I.. i just cant." i said.
Kyle winced as if he knew he unspoken answer of why.
The painful memory was so vivid. He moved cloer to me as if protecting me.
" i want you to smile again, my love. and if that means going to therapy then go."
i shivered.
the thought of therapy was terrifying.
i cringed.
"I know baby it will be okay. i will wait outside every therapy lesson for you." Kyle soothed.
We intwined fingers.
I really did try not to cry, but those memories.
Tears started trickling down my cheeks.
"Why, Kyle why?" i cried.
He started tearing up as well.
"I dont know." Kyle started lose you crying harder then i was. "I cant itll ruin me." he wailed.
I held him tightly trying to ease his tears.
After a while he started to sniffle and breath easier.
Kyle held me so tiht it cut off my breathing.
"why did you run out of the salvaging sisterhood thing?" he questioned me.
"We were playing a game of asking questions and one of the quesions brought back old memories."
"if you ever feel like that you better get your ass to the phone and call me." Kyle said sternly.
I nodded and snuggled into him.
"Take a nap, you look tired." he whispered and kissed my cheek.
I fell down into a deep slumber. Down..Down i fell..
into hell...

Chapter Eight

Surrounded by white light i floated into nothingness.
I was in upright position. i was cloaked in what look like a black cloak and hood that was covering my face.
My legs were locked together and i was clasping a black rose.
The white light disappeared and i was surrounded by a hill full of black roses.
The world was in black white and gray. the sky was snow white, the grass was a stormy gray and roses were jet black.o
Wind blew me towards me and my cloak billowed around behind me.
The rose was still in my hand. its scent wafted towards me. it was no regular rosey smell it was bittery and sour. almost like a poison.
It made my nostrils flare from the stench
To me it was the scent of death,at was drawing near; enclosing me in its tight grips.
With the smell of death in the air it scared the cat id into crap out of me, because i knew for sure that id give into it, just like last time.
Black tenticles of smoke wrapped around my ankles and wrists.
they burned my skin.
I tried to scream but nothing came out, only an airy breath.
Nothing happened to me, it only got worse.
the tenticles grip tightened.o
"Jinx come to me.." Death was calling my name. " You shouldve died. You dont deserve a second shot at life." he told me in my ear.
I have to give into it.
"Come.."
I must, its only a dream.
"It wont matter people wont care that you have died."
My heart skipped a beat.
"Its true."
My mind started to race.
Nobody would care, they could just replace me with someone who could succeed in this world so called life.
Death beckoned me forward closer to him.
I turned my head away, and a noose hit me in the face.
I looked the other way and another noose hit me in the face.
My pulse started to slow. i was surrounded by death.
this is a sign i must die one way or another.
I tried to move closer to the noose.
It was around my neck.
5.
4.
3.
2.
1
I fell.
My problems are no more.


Chapter nine

"Jinx, Jinx wake up." sounded a familiar voice.
I stirred for a moment then finally opened my eyes.
A platinum blonde emo boy with dark chocolate brown eyes was embracing me.
Kyle..
My mind blanked, i had nothing to say.
"You were crying in your sleep, what had happened?"
i told him what had happened in every part that i could remember, giving him every detail.
He raised his light blonde eyebrows, as i told him.
"that is weird" Kyle said as he flicked his blonde bands out of his eyes.
My eyes searched his face for more answers but from the look off his face, there was no more.
I stared into his eyes more until there was a knock at my front door.
It was my sister jessica.
we havent talked since we got into that fight and i ran out of the house with Kyle and Jessica trailing behind. I launched myself in front of a speeding truck and that i had believed it was my "ending"
She thinks that it was her fault. SHe wont look at me in the eye nor talk to me. She's less home then before also.
I want to go up to her, and embrace her, and let her know that it wasnt her fault.
but she wont have anything to do with me.
i walked away from her and proceeded onward with my useless life.
"Hey Kyle." my sister said to him.
she was used to him being over my house 24/7 so she stopped having grudges against and acknowledges that hes here.
Jessica dropped off her school books, ran up the stairs and got changed to go to her friends house.
Once again, going out.
I looked at Kyle again.
He started moving closer to me, close enough to kiss.
I pushed him into me and kissed his soft lips. The scent of chocolate axe was INTOXICATING.
I needed his cure to run through my veins.
His hands slid into mine and he kissed back even harder.
Knock knock.
There was a soft rap at the door.
It was my sisters friend, heather.
"JESSICA, HEATHER IS HERE!"
I yelled.
Jessica came down the stairs wearing a purple mini dress.
Her high heals click clacking as she walked on the tiled floor. her dark brown hair was curled and her make up looked perfect.
I was always have been told of what a gorgeous girl my sister is. her friends, boys, family friends, you name it, and they've told me.
I sighed and walked away.
When my sister was around she was a sparkling diamond. All the boys wanted a piece of her.
When i was around my sister i was invisible, because people always payed more attention to her.
of course they would pay attention to her, she is a natural beauty and just look at you, you ugly piece of shit. i thought.
i cried. Imprint

Publication Date: 04-10-2011

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