A Story of Agapit Pechersky, Anastasia Novykh [best free e reader .txt] 📗
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- Author: Anastasia Novykh
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Neither had Antipa trust in those, who came with sword, preaching of God. On the other hand, he was bothered with thoughts, why, if there was loving God, there was so much grief, so much blood senselessly spilt around? Why does God allow such great suffering?
“There were many questions, but, as usual among the swarming thoughts, there was not a single sensible answer. It was not until once he was intrigued by a story he heard from a stranger, who stayed overnight at his place. That stranger told him about the life of Jesus Christ. Antipa was stricken. For it turned out that people killed even the Son of God Himself. Why hadn’t almighty God stopped those people? Why did not He intervene, while His own Son was suffering from the impious people, while His body was dying on a cross? But when Antipa understood that the point was in human choice, in the choice of each individual before the face of God, he realized that the reason of the ongoing chaos was not in God, but in peoples themselves, including him.
“This thought so radically changed his personal views, that he began to look differently not only at the bygone outdated millennial events, but at the present as well. He sincerely fell in love with Christ, for He was congenial to him in sufferings. Indeed, Antipa sincerely and really fell in love with God and came to thinking about who he was before His face.
“Antipa was also amazed with the fact that there were people, who truly devoted themselves to God. For the first time he heard from the stranger about a holy place on the Mount Athos located in Greek soil. He learnt that there are living different people, not like everyone. That they abandon this worldly life and seclude themselves for the sake of God, for the sake of praying to Him for their salvation. They wear black clothes and give three vows of obedience, celibacy, and poverty. And these people are called ‘monks’.
“So, Antipa felt an urge to become a ‘monk’ and to be in an incessant prayer unto God. He did not know, however, neither how to get to that mountain in the strange land of Greece, nor how to pray to God properly so that to be heard by Him. That is when Antipa began to appeal to God with his simple, sincere words asking Him to give him a wise mentor, who would teach him a veritable prayer, leading to salvation. Such a strong desire he had, so persistently he thought about it, and so faithfully he asked God for it for many months and even years, that ultimately it came to pass the following.
“It happened in winter, at dawn of February the 12th in the old style (the Julian calendar), or on the 25th of February in the new style (the Gregorian calendar, which is used nowadays). That night he could not sleep, once again reflecting about God. He became so absorbed into his deep thought, that he started addressing to Him as a loving son to his own Father, begging Him, as he could, for a soul salvation prayer. He felt by intuition that God can only be asked about spiritual matters, not about perishable earthly ones. And he asked sincerely, with pure faith in soul. When Antipa deepened in his mental appeal to Him once again, an unnatural heat suddenly blazed up in his chest. The heat seemed to intensify every second. Ultimately it became so intense, that it was almost unbearable. Antipa dressed up hurriedly and went outside.
“It was slightly better out in the cold. It was snowing. The wind was cold and piercing. Antipa decided to find cover in a nearby haystack. Watching the raging elements from his shelter, experiencing great heat within his chest, Antipa prayed to God more sincerily. He was so imbued with the prayer that he forgot about the weather as well as the place and the time he was in. An extraordinary feeling of God’s nearness rushed into him. It was nearness of the very akin and close-to-heart Being. That was why his soul was warmed and he felt relieved.
“It was a daybreak already. The wind suddenly died down. Snowfall was over. The first light came through the leaden clouds on the horizon, enlivening dazzling white space around in a scintillating play. And that was when Antipa saw an uncommon aged man not far from him, wearing black clothes. Grayish blond-brown hair and snow-white beard fringed his unusual face. A scarcely perceptible affable smile was upon his lips. And his extraordinary eyes, as if looking right into the man’s soul, radiated deep concern and immutable kindness.
“The aged man approached, his feet stepping imperceptibly and silently over the snow. It was strange that Antipa could hear his affable speech, his mellifluous tuneful voice, although the elder moved not his lips. He stopped very close, and Antipa was able to sense fragrant delicate aroma, emanating from him. All of a sudden a bright ball of bluish white gradually emerged out of the elder’s chest. It was of extraordinary purity and brightness. It did not blind or irritate eyes at that. Quite the opposite, it attracted his look with its soft glow and fascinating play of blue tints. Shining golden letters began to appear within this flow of pure light, transforming into one text. Antipa rather understood than saw what was written there, for at that instant the elder’s melodic voice sounded inside his head, speaking the words of the soul salvation prayer:
‘My True Father! I set all my hopes only upon You, and I ask You, my Lord, only for salvation of my soul. May Your Holy Will...’ That was the moment when Antipa felt so relieved and so tranquil as if through this prayer God Himself drew His attention to His child and stretched His helping hand to him.
“After proclaiming the prayer, the elder directed him to travel to Tsargrad...”
“Tsargrad?” Slava asked timidly, probably, not willing to interrupt Sensei on the one hand, but at the same time burning with curiosity. “Where’s that?”
“Well, it is nowadays Istanbul in Turkey, located on both sides of the Bosporus Strait between Europe and Asia – the one that connects the Black Sea and the Sea of Marmara,” Sensei provided a full answer, perhaps, lest there should be any more geography enquiries.
“Looks like he sent him a long way,” Kostya put in. “Why did he need the Turks?”
“You are another one,” Andrew hushed at him displeased with Kostya’s meddling with his questions and disturbing such a fascinating story. “You were told that it was Tsargrad at that time.”
“A-a-ah, so were there Russians then?” Kostya didn’t stop questioning and tried to come to the root.
“No. It is just that in such a way those days the Russians called Constantinople, the capital of Byzantine Empire,” explained Sensei with patience.
“Constantinople?” exclaimed Kostya happily and seemingly in order to rehabilitate himself, chattered rapidly: “Was it by chance called after the emperor Constantine, who founded Christianity?”
“Exactly. After the Roman emperor Constantine.” But when Kostya was about to open his lips for another question, Sensei anticipated him: “After the Roman emperor, because this city became the capital of the Roman Empire since 330 A.D. and then of the Byzantine Empire from 395 up to 1453. And in general it was founded in 659 B.C. and was called Byzantium.”
Having received such an irrefragable answer, Kostya grew quiet, especially because Andrew gave him a slight nudge to his side, thus granting him a clear signal to be silent.
Meanwhile Sensei continued telling his story: “Now, then, the elder ordered him to travel to Tsargrad and from there – to the Holy Mountain, where God should vouchsafe him to meet the One, Whom the very Holy Spirit veritably stays in. And that One shall be like the Lamp upon his path to God. Having said that, the elder disappeared. The wind returned. The sky became clouded, and it started snowing heavily again. However, Antipa did not pay attention to the raging elements any more. He was happy and determined to fulfil the elder’s behest, whose affable face became imprinted in his memory for the rest of his life. This vision became the key to his whole further destiny. It can be said that starting from this moment, the moment of Antipa’s personal choice, his life changed dramatically.
“This gave Antipa an unusual lift, and he was above himself during the whole week, incessantly repeating the prayer given to him by the elder. It appeared as if God Himself was there beside him and ineffably filled Antipa’s soul with joy by His presence. It was during these days that a new peerless feeling towards God arouse within Antipa. That was the first time when Antipa actually realized what the true divine love is. This feeling was incomparable to anything of Antipa’s previous thoughts about God, naive comparison with human emotions, existing among people. This was something much higher, that cannot be described in human language. This was the Love, which thrilled his soul with delight, being unearthly raptured.
“But in exactly seven days from unforgettable vision, this extraordinary sensation of the Presence disappeared. And only pleasant memories of that truly divine feeling remained. Antipa did not hesitate to equip himself and start on his long journey, being not quite aware which way to go. But as the saying goes, you can get anywhere if you know how to use your tongue. Antipa’s one helped him reach Tsargrad. The path was not all sunshine and roses. However, incessantly repeating the soul salvation prayer he had heard from the elder, Antipa felt that God Himself was helping him. Being saved by a miracle from dangers of his adventure, at the same time Antipa was very lucky to meet good fellow travelers as well as kind people, who showed him the right way, gave him contribution and temporary lodging or shelter for the night.
“Having finally reached Tsargrad, that is, Constantinople, Antipa roamed around the capital for a long time. Although the city was nice, everything was foreign to him: foreign language, foreign people, foreign customs. He had to spend not a day there before he met a companion for the Athos.”
At that point Volodya give a polite cough and uttered: “I heard of the Athos. But, frankly, I have no idea where it is,” and stretching his lips into an awkward smile, he added: “Not a military ‘hot zone’ on this planet for sure.”
“It sure isn’t,” agreed Sensei with a smile and began explaining. “If you glance at the modern map, you will find that the Athos is located in Greece. It is a narrow mountainous peninsula, the easternmost leg of the larger Chalcidice peninsula in the Aegean Sea to be more precise. It ends with mount Athos, being a little more than 2 kilometers high. It is this mount that gave the name to the peninsula.”
“Well, looks like we all certainly have big knowledge gaps in geography,” smiled Victor.
“That’s all right. Let’s bridge them, since they are ‘big’,” Sensei said good-naturedly and continued narrating. “By the time Antipa reached the Athos, it had already been recognized as an independent monastic state, formally subordinating to Byzantine emperor in terms of administrative division. In fact, however, there was power of the Protos, a widely distinguished elder. Each year he was chosen to rule from the monasteries of that place. There already stood such monasteries as Great Lavra, Protaton, Moni-Iviron. But Antipa was not accepted in any of them.
“So, following the advice of an old monk, Antipa settled down in one of the caves, located in a retired spot of the South-Western part of the peninsula. It is noteworthy that those two years he spent in the cave, despite scarcity of food, were among
“There were many questions, but, as usual among the swarming thoughts, there was not a single sensible answer. It was not until once he was intrigued by a story he heard from a stranger, who stayed overnight at his place. That stranger told him about the life of Jesus Christ. Antipa was stricken. For it turned out that people killed even the Son of God Himself. Why hadn’t almighty God stopped those people? Why did not He intervene, while His own Son was suffering from the impious people, while His body was dying on a cross? But when Antipa understood that the point was in human choice, in the choice of each individual before the face of God, he realized that the reason of the ongoing chaos was not in God, but in peoples themselves, including him.
“This thought so radically changed his personal views, that he began to look differently not only at the bygone outdated millennial events, but at the present as well. He sincerely fell in love with Christ, for He was congenial to him in sufferings. Indeed, Antipa sincerely and really fell in love with God and came to thinking about who he was before His face.
“Antipa was also amazed with the fact that there were people, who truly devoted themselves to God. For the first time he heard from the stranger about a holy place on the Mount Athos located in Greek soil. He learnt that there are living different people, not like everyone. That they abandon this worldly life and seclude themselves for the sake of God, for the sake of praying to Him for their salvation. They wear black clothes and give three vows of obedience, celibacy, and poverty. And these people are called ‘monks’.
“So, Antipa felt an urge to become a ‘monk’ and to be in an incessant prayer unto God. He did not know, however, neither how to get to that mountain in the strange land of Greece, nor how to pray to God properly so that to be heard by Him. That is when Antipa began to appeal to God with his simple, sincere words asking Him to give him a wise mentor, who would teach him a veritable prayer, leading to salvation. Such a strong desire he had, so persistently he thought about it, and so faithfully he asked God for it for many months and even years, that ultimately it came to pass the following.
“It happened in winter, at dawn of February the 12th in the old style (the Julian calendar), or on the 25th of February in the new style (the Gregorian calendar, which is used nowadays). That night he could not sleep, once again reflecting about God. He became so absorbed into his deep thought, that he started addressing to Him as a loving son to his own Father, begging Him, as he could, for a soul salvation prayer. He felt by intuition that God can only be asked about spiritual matters, not about perishable earthly ones. And he asked sincerely, with pure faith in soul. When Antipa deepened in his mental appeal to Him once again, an unnatural heat suddenly blazed up in his chest. The heat seemed to intensify every second. Ultimately it became so intense, that it was almost unbearable. Antipa dressed up hurriedly and went outside.
“It was slightly better out in the cold. It was snowing. The wind was cold and piercing. Antipa decided to find cover in a nearby haystack. Watching the raging elements from his shelter, experiencing great heat within his chest, Antipa prayed to God more sincerily. He was so imbued with the prayer that he forgot about the weather as well as the place and the time he was in. An extraordinary feeling of God’s nearness rushed into him. It was nearness of the very akin and close-to-heart Being. That was why his soul was warmed and he felt relieved.
“It was a daybreak already. The wind suddenly died down. Snowfall was over. The first light came through the leaden clouds on the horizon, enlivening dazzling white space around in a scintillating play. And that was when Antipa saw an uncommon aged man not far from him, wearing black clothes. Grayish blond-brown hair and snow-white beard fringed his unusual face. A scarcely perceptible affable smile was upon his lips. And his extraordinary eyes, as if looking right into the man’s soul, radiated deep concern and immutable kindness.
“The aged man approached, his feet stepping imperceptibly and silently over the snow. It was strange that Antipa could hear his affable speech, his mellifluous tuneful voice, although the elder moved not his lips. He stopped very close, and Antipa was able to sense fragrant delicate aroma, emanating from him. All of a sudden a bright ball of bluish white gradually emerged out of the elder’s chest. It was of extraordinary purity and brightness. It did not blind or irritate eyes at that. Quite the opposite, it attracted his look with its soft glow and fascinating play of blue tints. Shining golden letters began to appear within this flow of pure light, transforming into one text. Antipa rather understood than saw what was written there, for at that instant the elder’s melodic voice sounded inside his head, speaking the words of the soul salvation prayer:
‘My True Father! I set all my hopes only upon You, and I ask You, my Lord, only for salvation of my soul. May Your Holy Will...’ That was the moment when Antipa felt so relieved and so tranquil as if through this prayer God Himself drew His attention to His child and stretched His helping hand to him.
“After proclaiming the prayer, the elder directed him to travel to Tsargrad...”
“Tsargrad?” Slava asked timidly, probably, not willing to interrupt Sensei on the one hand, but at the same time burning with curiosity. “Where’s that?”
“Well, it is nowadays Istanbul in Turkey, located on both sides of the Bosporus Strait between Europe and Asia – the one that connects the Black Sea and the Sea of Marmara,” Sensei provided a full answer, perhaps, lest there should be any more geography enquiries.
“Looks like he sent him a long way,” Kostya put in. “Why did he need the Turks?”
“You are another one,” Andrew hushed at him displeased with Kostya’s meddling with his questions and disturbing such a fascinating story. “You were told that it was Tsargrad at that time.”
“A-a-ah, so were there Russians then?” Kostya didn’t stop questioning and tried to come to the root.
“No. It is just that in such a way those days the Russians called Constantinople, the capital of Byzantine Empire,” explained Sensei with patience.
“Constantinople?” exclaimed Kostya happily and seemingly in order to rehabilitate himself, chattered rapidly: “Was it by chance called after the emperor Constantine, who founded Christianity?”
“Exactly. After the Roman emperor Constantine.” But when Kostya was about to open his lips for another question, Sensei anticipated him: “After the Roman emperor, because this city became the capital of the Roman Empire since 330 A.D. and then of the Byzantine Empire from 395 up to 1453. And in general it was founded in 659 B.C. and was called Byzantium.”
Having received such an irrefragable answer, Kostya grew quiet, especially because Andrew gave him a slight nudge to his side, thus granting him a clear signal to be silent.
Meanwhile Sensei continued telling his story: “Now, then, the elder ordered him to travel to Tsargrad and from there – to the Holy Mountain, where God should vouchsafe him to meet the One, Whom the very Holy Spirit veritably stays in. And that One shall be like the Lamp upon his path to God. Having said that, the elder disappeared. The wind returned. The sky became clouded, and it started snowing heavily again. However, Antipa did not pay attention to the raging elements any more. He was happy and determined to fulfil the elder’s behest, whose affable face became imprinted in his memory for the rest of his life. This vision became the key to his whole further destiny. It can be said that starting from this moment, the moment of Antipa’s personal choice, his life changed dramatically.
“This gave Antipa an unusual lift, and he was above himself during the whole week, incessantly repeating the prayer given to him by the elder. It appeared as if God Himself was there beside him and ineffably filled Antipa’s soul with joy by His presence. It was during these days that a new peerless feeling towards God arouse within Antipa. That was the first time when Antipa actually realized what the true divine love is. This feeling was incomparable to anything of Antipa’s previous thoughts about God, naive comparison with human emotions, existing among people. This was something much higher, that cannot be described in human language. This was the Love, which thrilled his soul with delight, being unearthly raptured.
“But in exactly seven days from unforgettable vision, this extraordinary sensation of the Presence disappeared. And only pleasant memories of that truly divine feeling remained. Antipa did not hesitate to equip himself and start on his long journey, being not quite aware which way to go. But as the saying goes, you can get anywhere if you know how to use your tongue. Antipa’s one helped him reach Tsargrad. The path was not all sunshine and roses. However, incessantly repeating the soul salvation prayer he had heard from the elder, Antipa felt that God Himself was helping him. Being saved by a miracle from dangers of his adventure, at the same time Antipa was very lucky to meet good fellow travelers as well as kind people, who showed him the right way, gave him contribution and temporary lodging or shelter for the night.
“Having finally reached Tsargrad, that is, Constantinople, Antipa roamed around the capital for a long time. Although the city was nice, everything was foreign to him: foreign language, foreign people, foreign customs. He had to spend not a day there before he met a companion for the Athos.”
At that point Volodya give a polite cough and uttered: “I heard of the Athos. But, frankly, I have no idea where it is,” and stretching his lips into an awkward smile, he added: “Not a military ‘hot zone’ on this planet for sure.”
“It sure isn’t,” agreed Sensei with a smile and began explaining. “If you glance at the modern map, you will find that the Athos is located in Greece. It is a narrow mountainous peninsula, the easternmost leg of the larger Chalcidice peninsula in the Aegean Sea to be more precise. It ends with mount Athos, being a little more than 2 kilometers high. It is this mount that gave the name to the peninsula.”
“Well, looks like we all certainly have big knowledge gaps in geography,” smiled Victor.
“That’s all right. Let’s bridge them, since they are ‘big’,” Sensei said good-naturedly and continued narrating. “By the time Antipa reached the Athos, it had already been recognized as an independent monastic state, formally subordinating to Byzantine emperor in terms of administrative division. In fact, however, there was power of the Protos, a widely distinguished elder. Each year he was chosen to rule from the monasteries of that place. There already stood such monasteries as Great Lavra, Protaton, Moni-Iviron. But Antipa was not accepted in any of them.
“So, following the advice of an old monk, Antipa settled down in one of the caves, located in a retired spot of the South-Western part of the peninsula. It is noteworthy that those two years he spent in the cave, despite scarcity of food, were among
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