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you are alive which means that fate has another plan for you. I know well the path you are on. You will never be the same, but things do get better. My brother, he has a broken leg, but you will take longer to heal. I will be taking care of you. When you heal we will talk.” she said.
Her mixed a few things together and lifted my head, pressing the tin cup to my lips.
I drank the bitter juice she gave me and found myself being pulled into sleep, my body turning numb.


*~*~*~*~*~*


Everything after that blend together with my new black and white world, some things not making sense and other not enough to care about. Day after day, sun rose and sun set, everything was the same. I lay there unable to move. I drink the water I’m given, and I cried till I could cry no more.
Days past, and those days turned to weeks. In those weeks I was able to start to move so I slowly begin to train myself again.
I lift the sword in my hand and started off working slowly. I slowly increased the pace and speed, till my body protested in pain. I dropped the sword and grabbed my side. There was a wet sticky feeling under my hand. I slid down the wall leaving streaks of crimson dripping down the wall.
“Ugh,” I groaned.
I tilted my head back against the wall, breathing hard. I pressed my hand to my left side right under my ribs. It was sodden with thick fresh blood.
I sat here for a while, my blood dripping over my palm and between my fingers. I found myself wondering what death was like. I had faced it so many times, but I never really paid to close a mind to it.
It seems so peaceful. Setting you free from your prison and worldly pains. I wonder if anyone else died. Burned to death? Or slaughtered?
As I looked at the wall the far end of the room the door opened and Miu rushed into me.
“What are you doing?!” she gasped when she saw the blood. “Trying to kill yourself?” she winced. “I didn’t mean…”
“I can see what you’re trying to say. But as you know I no longer care if I live,” I said.
“Well then stay alive for me. I need you. Now let’s get you to the room, quickly.”
She put one her arms under my shoulder and lifted. I stood and swayed as she walked me back to my room. The next day I was running a fever. I slept all that day and the next as well, well in the afternoon of the third day.
When opened my eyes it was to see arrow a sleep with his back against the wall facing me. I realized that this was the first time I had seen his face. It was sharp and beautiful like Miu, but his skin was darker then her’s. A light tan.
In his sleep he mumbled.
I felt a nerve snap.
“Hey! Get out!” I yelled at him.
He jumped up immediately and winced falling back down to the floor rubbing his left leg.
I glared at him. “Get out of this room. Now,” I said. I sounded more like an angry wolf growling.
He sat there against the wall and looked me over, under all my blankets.
“I wanted to talk to you alone, but you were sleeping and I was tried, so I feel asleep. I’m sorry if you do not want me here,” he said looking down and away from my glaring eyes. “I wanted to say sorry and thank you for saving my life. You were a surprise. I had no idea what I was thinking.”
At this last statement I spit at him trying to get up and out of the futon.
“YOU HAVE NO IDEA,” I screeched. “You had no idea what you were doing!? Do you know because I saved you my only reason to live was killed!” I yelled at him. I had given up and standing, now I crawled towards him my hand to my bleeding side. “You are the reason Kail was killed in front of me! You’re the reason he died! And you’re the reason I couldn’t die by his side! How dare you! You think you have the right!”
He winced at me yelling and his eyes were wide.
I was at him now and put my free hand to his throat.
“I understand if you’re mad, but-” he stopped as a squeezed harder.
“You have no idea. I’m not mad, I’m not pissed. I beyond furious. You have no idea of what you’ve done,” I said in a deadly low voice. “One day you will have wished you had never killed him and saved me. Now get out!” I said squeezing a little harder. His face was a pale gray.
“You should be grateful to be alive,” he gasped.
I slapped him with my other hand leaving a welt and a bloody handprint on his cheek.
“I would have died happy, you bastard. Now leave! You have no idea what it is to loss something important to you something that means more to you then life…” I whispered, looking away. I pressed my hand back to my side. Tears stung my eyes and fell to the ground.
“Leave me!” I screamed.
I turned, but he was already gone. I lay back down and soon Miu came in the change my bandages. She didn’t ask a question, and I was willing to bet she already knew.
“Done,” she said, giving me a pat on the arm. She helped me lay down, and then she sat there looking at the floor.
“You know my brother doesn’t know and it’s not his fault. He was taken away young to train and never really knew anyone enough to know or care. I think he’s starting to learn with me, and you. You were the first person to save him from dying, and to show him kindness. You are the first person he had a thought about saving, so do not hate him for it. He thought that he was returning the favor you did for him. Giving him back his life.”
“He will need to learn how the world works or he will die,” was all I said.
She nodded and left. I lay there on my back and thought over my life here in this ancient world. Full of danger, sweetness, love, hate, surprise, good people, bad people, and regret. But I would not give it up for anything. I’m glad that I had been brought here, but I still wanted it all to end.
I feel asleep with Kail’s name on my lips.


*~*~*~*~*


The fog was so thick it seemed as its own creature, lurking on the ground. The misty shadows shifted as I walked in the forest that surrounded the ninja village on all sides, hiding it from everyone, but those who knew what to look for. It has been over a month now since I came here and I found myself the same as before. A mere empty shell filled with hate, regret, loneliness and the wish for death.
A hand snaked out of the mist and grabbed my wrist and I spun on heel to fight, but it was Miu.
“Why are you out here on a day like this? You have only just finished healing! We need to get back. A group is coming back from a mission and we need to prepare. Come on,” she said tugging my back to the house. She set to boiling water in the kitchen and ripping cloth into strips.
“Why are you doing that?” I asked.
“Because sometimes they don’t always come back in one piece,” she said somberly.
“Oh,” I said and went to get dry herbs from my room.
I sat down in a corner and started to crush the herbs then I looked up. “Miu what kinds of wounds may happen?”
She didn’t look up from what she was doing. “The may have deep cuts, or poisoned tipped arrows, knives, or spikes in them, or one could have been burned, mangled, gutted, or slashed with swords. Anything could have happened.”
I mixed up the things needed and began to work. A paste that would be good from stopping the bleeding of a deep cut to heal burns. Next came a drinking one to numb the body, and the heal poisoning. I mixed them slowly and poured them into vials, careful not to spill a drop.
I placed them in the pocket I had sewn on to my short kimono like Miu’s. She turned to me then.
“The people who are coming will not know you. You must be careful around them till Brother and I talk to them, okay?”
I nodded.
In the distance a sharp keen whistle came from the fog.
Miu’s head snapped up. “That’s them. They will be here soon. Other will go out to meet them.”
I moved with her and we looked out the door even though we couldn’t see anything. It was quick, quicker then I would have thought, but I saw four shapes darting in the hazy mist. Two appeared to be carrying other. And soon the burst through the fog and stand before the ledge of the room that stuck out to sit on. They were all covered from head to toe in black, and I was unable to make out if they were only just men.
I saw that the smallest one was carrying someone on their back and I went to them. I touched the person’s arm safely and gently took the person on his back into my arms. I walked inside and laid the person out on a mat Miu had laid out for this. I went outside.
“I will need all those who are injured in here and the others the leave tell I say it is okay,” I said to everyone. I gave Miu a look and she nodded.
“Take the others inside there are the worst. The others can wait. Do as she says. No questions,” she ordered.
I backed up to let the others bring in the people they carried. They laid them down and left. I went to close the door. Miu was there.
“Please take care of them. I know we own you much for what we have done, but please,” she whispered.
“It is no you who owns me. Only your brother. I will take care of them I promise, none will die,” I told her in the quite voice I had taken on since my world was no longer mine to control.
The
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