A College Girl, Mrs George de Horne Vaizey [good non fiction books to read txt] 📗

hard; I love work, and when there is any on hand there’s no peace for me till it’s done; but wouldn’t I just play, too! It would be the time of my life. Oh, Aunt Maria, when I look at the governesses at school, and think that I’m going to be like that all my days, it does seem hard that I shouldn’t have just two or three years first of the life I want!”

The words, the tone, both bore a touch of real pathos; nevertheless Lady Hayes smiled, as if, so far from being pained by the sad prospect, she found something amusing in the contemplation.

“It is a mistake to look too far ahead in life, but of course if you contemplate teaching, you ought to be thoroughly equipped.” She was silent for a moment, gazing thoughtfully through the window. Then in a level, perfectly commonplace voice she continued: “I shall be pleased, my dear, to defray the expenses of your course at Newnham...”

The manner in which our great ambitions in life meet their realisation is always and inevitably other than we have imagined. Sometimes so many years have passed by since the dreaming of the cherished plans, that the eager spirit is transformed into a wearied and dispirited being, to whom fulfilment brings no joy; sometimes it comes freighted with complications which rob it of half its zest; sometimes it brings no charm at all, but only bitterness and disappointment; and again—oh, often again, thank God for His mercies!—it comes at the moment of hopelessness, of renunciation, dazzling the eyes and heart with a very incredulity of joy.

Those few quiet words in an old woman’s voice transformed for Darsie Garnett the whole path ahead, making what had seemed a far-away vision become a solid, tangible fact. Quietly, prosaically, without any nourish of trumpets, the great prize of life had been handed into her grasp.

She sat motionless, staring with distended eyes, while Lady Hayes continued to speak in calm, even tones.

“I should like to explain to you, my dear, that I am not as rich a woman as I appear. It was my dear husband’s wish that I should continue to occupy this house for the term of my life, but after that it passes to his relations. It is an expensive place to keep up, and leaves little margin out of the income which goes with it. I cannot save as I should have wished, and my own property is not large. When it is divided among my various nephews and nieces, there will not be much for each. I should like to have done more for your father, as he has a large family to provide for, but it is impossible. In your case, however, you have done me a kindness in spending these weeks with me when I needed companionship—and, I think, we are good friends! I can spare a few hundreds to give you your training and your fun—and it will be a pleasure to me to do so. I will make a formal arrangement in my will so that in the case of my—so that in any case the money may be forthcoming. So, my dear, you may look upon the matter as settled, and make your arrangements accordingly.”

Darsie put her hands to her head. Her cheeks were white, but around her eyes and nose an increasing pinkness of hue betrayed the inward struggle of emotion.

“I’m going to cry! I’m going to cry!” she cried. And when Lady Hayes began a protest, “Oh, Aunt Maria, don’t, don’t be proper!” she pleaded piteously. “I can’t bear it just now. Please, please let me thank you in my own way! I must howl! I must! I’m all seething and churning with emotion, and if I don’t cry I shall burst; but oh, I do love you—I adore you—I shall worship you until my dying day... You’ll be like a saint to me. I’ll put you up on a pedestal and burn incense to you every day of my life. If you knew what it meant! And I’ve been so mean and hateful—such a contemptible little worm! Oh, if I lived a hundred thousand years, I could never repay you for this!”

“My dear, does it strike you that you are talking in a very wild, exaggerated fashion?”

“I am, I am! Girls do, Aunt Maria, when they are off their heads with joy. Wild, I mean, not exaggerated—I mean it, every word. Oh, I must hug you. Never mind your cap; I must give you a bear hug, if I die for it. Dear, dearest, kindest, best—”

The old lady’s stiff, upright figure disappeared bodily within the swooping arms; she was squeezed, hugged, rocked to and fro, and pelted with kisses until she was speechless and gasping for breath. When she was released her cap was askew, and the muslin folds in the front of her gown crumpled out of recognition; but for a marvel she spoke no word of reproach, and Darsie saw, with a sobering thrill, a glitter as of tears in the old eyes, and the mental question which arose at the sight was answered with intuitive sharpness. It was so long since she had been hugged before, so many, many years since anything more than a conventional peck had been pressed upon her cheek! Old, stern, proper as she was, Aunt Maria loved to be loved!

For the rest of the morning Darsie was as subdued and gentle in manner as she had hitherto been boisterous. The future was discussed in detail, and plans made which revolutionised more and more her future life, for Lady Hayes seemed to take for granted that in taking upon herself the responsibility for the girl’s education she had earned a certain right to her society. Such phrases as “And in the holiday-time we can discuss,” “When you are here in the summer vacation,” “I shall look forward to hearing your descriptions,” could not be misunderstood, but for the moment the big gain outweighed the loss, and Darsie smiled on unperturbed. In time to come the sacrifice of merry family holidays would of a certainty demand its toll of suffering, but why encourage trouble that lay ahead when the present was so blissfully full of contentment?

When lunch was over Darsie tucked her hostess on the sofa, and hailed with delight the opportunity of a free hour in which to dream uninterrupted over the wonderful development of the day.

“I’ll go out and walk it off. I’ll rush down to the village and telegraph home. I can’t possibly wait to write. How can I put it so that it will be plain enough and not too plain? ‘Newnham ahoy!’ ‘I’m off to Newnham College in the morning!’ ‘Plans for Newnham satisfactorily arranged. Break news to Hannah.’ Won’t they stare! It’s a blessing that neither Clemence nor Lavender would care to go if they had the chance, so they won’t be jealous, but Hannah will jump. And Dan—what will Dan say? It is good luck knowing the boys so well. We’ll make them take us about. To think that I was so furious and rebellious about this visit, and that it should have ended like this! It will be a lesson to me for life!”

It was very pleasant to ride through the sweet smelling lanes on this bright summer afternoon; very pleasant work sending off that telegram to the parents at the seaside, and drawing mental pictures of the excitement and rejoicings which would follow its arrival; pleasant to meet on every side kindly, interested glances, and to realise that if she were, as Noreen had declared, “the pet of the county,” she was assuredly also “the heroine of the village.”

It was a temptation to linger in the quaint little streets; but on this afternoon of all others Darsie was anxious not to be late for tea, so, with a sigh of regret, she turned up a side lane leading to the field path to the Manor, and in so doing came face to face with Ralph Percival, who, in his lightest and most sporting attire, was escorting a pack of dogs for an airing. There was the big silky-haired collie whom Darsie loved, the splay-footed dachshund which she hated, the huge mastiff which she feared, with one or two terriers of different breeds—alert, friendly, and gentle-eyed. One and all came sniffing round her as their master stopped to shake hands, and she stood up stiff and straight, trying to look at ease, and as if she were not really in momentary terror of an attack upon her ankles and skirts.

“Halloa!”

“How are you? Still living in a shower of jewels?”

“I have been, but it’s clearing off! The combination bracelet finished the list. Now I’m beginning to live in fear of another burglary, on myself. It will be a relief to get the things distributed. Mother is to have the watch, Clemence the pendant, Lavender the brooch, and I am going to be greedy and keep the bracelet and necklace and ring for myself.”

“What a miser!” cried Ralph, laughing. His grey eyes looked very handsome and agreeable lit up with the twinkling light of amusement, and Darsie’s spirits rose still a degree higher as he whistled to the dogs and turned round with the evident intention of accompanying her home.

“We’ll come along with you. It doesn’t matter where we go so long as we have a run. Bound for the Manor, I suppose? How’s the old lady? In a good humour, I should say. You look particularly full of beams this afternoon!”

“I am—brimming over! You see before you, kind sir, the touching spectacle of a young female who has not a single ungratified wish in the world, and is so happy that she doesn’t know how to preserve a decent appearance of calm. It’s the more extraordinary because she usually wants quite a lot.”

Ralph’s eyebrows went up in expressive disdain.

“Re-al-ly! You don’t say so! Glad to hear it, I’m shaw! The kind donors would be much gratified to know of the magic effect of their gifts. I wonder, under the circumstances, that you could bear to part from any of them!”

The words were spoken in his most drawling and superior voice, and brought the blood rushing into Darsie’s cheeks. She stood still in the middle of the road, and glared at him with flashing eyes.

“Horrible boy! What a disagreeable mind you must have, to think such mean, contemptible thoughts! Bother the jewellery! It may go to Jericho for all I care. I’m happy for a very different reason. Aunt Maria has just promised to pay for me to go to Newnham, and that has been the dream of my life. There’s nothing to sneer at, you see, though perhaps you can manage to be superior even about that!”

“Yes, easily. I hate blue-stockings,” said Ralph calmly, but his eyes twinkled as he spoke, and in spite of herself Darsie was obliged to smile in response.

“And I hate narrow-minded, prejudiced young men! Oh dear! you’ve put me in a bad temper on this day of days, just when I felt that I could never be cross again. I’ll forgive you only because it’s impossible to go on being cross. I’ve just been to the post-office to telegraph the great news to my people at the seaside. They’ll be wild with excitement, especially my chum who will be going up at the same time, Hannah Vernon—‘plain Hannah’ we call her. Funny nickname, isn’t it?”

“Sounds ingratiating!” Voice and expression were alike so expressive that Darsie went off into a merry trill of laughter, as she hastened to take up the cudgels in plain Hannah’s defence.

“She doesn’t care a bit. Jokes about it with the rest. And she is so funnily ugly that it’s really rather dear. And clever! She’ll be a first-class girl, you’ll see if she isn’t. I shall be nowhere beside her, but I’m going to grind. Let me see: if we go up in three years’