The Owl, Lucia Morosanu [best book clubs .txt] 📗

skin pale and flaky. It looked like the body was fighting, but the mind gave up a long time ago.

“You wanted to touch heaven. Is that why you came here? Is that why your veins are so battered?”

“Yeah, I wanted to touch heaven and I ended up in purgatory. I guess at some point we all end up paying for our mistakes.”

Jason turned to look at the owl. Its green eyes had something familiar in them.

“I’m starting to think I’m not getting out of this place alive. But before that, could you have the heart to tell me why the owl? It’s bugging me so much. It’s like when you see some at a party and they look so familiar, but you can’t remember their name or from where you know them. And your brain is desperately trying to solve the enigma, so you’re just half listening to what other people are saying.”

“I chose this appearance because it was something you wanted. I take a different form for each person, when the time comes. Some tend to choose a more religious figure, while others prefer loved ones. Your choice was more symbolic. The answer to your question is in you. You just have to look at the right memory.”

Jason sighed and closed his heavy eyes. Slowly, he could feel his body going numb, as all the noises around him melting in a soft hum. He was aware he wasn’t on the couch any more. He thought that his body must still be in that dirty room, but his mind was softly searching for a safer place. When he opened his eyes, all he could see was mist.

“Hello, anyone there?” he asked.

The owl appeared in front of him again. Without saying a thing it looked intensely at Jason. Those deep green eyes started rapidly changing color. Jason could barely keep up, but the harder he looked the more he understood. He saw everything. In those eyes he saw everything he had ever seen in his life and he understood how they were all connected; like roots that belonged to the same tree. They stretched for miles and miles, but in the end they were all the same. They were one. He saw how he tripped when he was in the third grade and bumped his head on the sidewalk. His scar was still on his forehead. He saw how he lost his virginity to Mary Parker in senior year and how he still shed a tear when he got her wedding invitation in the mail ten years later. He saw his mom, he saw so many moments with his mom. When she was sad, when she was happy, but also when she was sick. He saw her weak, sleeping in a hospital bed, days before she died. He saw her hand on top of his, putting the last piece in place together.

“The puzzle!” yelled Jason, snapping back. “The puzzle I did with my mom in the hospital. The last thing we did together!”

“Exactly,” said the owl.

“You took a shape that would bring me some comfort. Something that would remind me of a time I had to be strong. Like a connection to someone I love whom I’ve lost.”

“I saw that in that moment, your heart found a moment of peace.”

Jason remembered the brightly colored bird puzzle sitting in his bedroom. He had promised himself that he was going to cherish that memory, but instead it faded away slowly as his veins become more and more cracked.

“What have I become? How did I let it go this far? I told myself that every time was going to be the last time. I needed one more to get me to tomorrow, because tomorrow I was going to be strong. How could I’ve let my mom down so much? She had always fought for me and I threw that sacrifice away for a few grams of delusion.”

The acceptance of what he’s done made him go numb. Inside, everything went cold. As though time had stopped, Jason couldn’t make his mind focus. Everything inside him stood still. He took a deep breath and forced his eyes shut. He screamed for what must have been minutes. When he was out of breath, he fell on his side.

“Is this the end? Don’t I get redemption?” he asked.

His words came out lifeless and aloof.

“You are here because of your own choices,” said the owl. “And the next one will be yours as well. I can sense that you can still live. There is still a little flame in you. It is your choice if you nurture it or if you kill it. This is the last time I will ask you the question. What is your decision? You just have to get up and walk; either with me or away from me.”

“I understand,” said Jason, in his calmest voice.

Without giving him time to say anything else, the owl sat up, turned around and began walking. Step by slow step, his shape began to blur, like watercolors on a page.

As dragged by an invisible hand, Jason stood up. His legs felt weak. He stumbled for a while, but managed to catch himself. His whole body screamed in agony, but he ignored it and began walking. He knew where he needed to be.

 

 

 

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Publication Date: 02-24-2019

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