Mummy's Little Girl, JANE ELLIOTT [mini ebook reader TXT] 📗

trouble she had a school today. She would probably just shout at her, so she kept quiet about it.
Downstairs, she heard the television being switched on. Dani would have liked to have gone down to watch it with the others, but she chose not to- not with mum in the mood she was in. Much better she had learned to keep herself to herself. She out her thumb in her mouth, closed her eyes and gently rocked herself. It would be bedtime soon. Bedtime was all right. When the lights were out, she could lose herself in her own world and pretend things were better than they really were.
In truth, she knew, they could hardly be worse.
It had been several months ago that mum had first told her she didnt want Dani to live with them anymore. Her words rang in the little girl’s head more clearly than anything anyone had ever said to her. At first she had persuaded herself that it was just a joke, that she didnt really mean it; but when she kept repeating it in moments of anger. Dani wasnt so sure. The arrival of the social worker had confirmed it for her. She was a nice lady called Katie, who had come to talk first to mum and then to Dani herself. The grown-ups didnt know that Dani had listened in on their conversation, however; they didnt know she had heard her mum beg the social worker to take her away. “I cant cope with her anymore,” Mum had said. “She’s going off the rails, always fighting other kids and bulling her brother and sister,”
Dani blinked. She didnt recognise herself in that description at all. But she knew that she would have to try very hard to make her mum want her again. It was difficult, though. Dani never seemed to be able to do anything right. Anything at all. She was always being shouted at, complained about. One time, mum had even hit her- not hard, but hard enough to bring those tears to her eyes that always seemed to enrage her mother even more.
The very thought made her wont to cry now.
She was woken from her reverie by the ringing of the doorbell and a little fluttering of apprehension in her stomach. That would be Auntie Rose. Dani couldnt decide what to do. If she stayed in her bedroom, she would bo told off and accused of being unfriendly; but if she went downstairs, no doubt thy would find something to complain about. Dani sat still, paralysed by indecision for a few minutes, before finally deciding to leave the saftey of her bedroom and venture back downstairs. She grabbed the little pink and blue teddy bear- the one that had been hers ever since she was a baby, which was now worn and tatty and was still deeply loved- and went down.
At first, nobody noticed her standing in the doorway of the front room. Mum was in the kitchen, for start, while James and Rebecca stood around auntie Rose. Dani’s aunt- her mum’s sister- was a chubby lady. In her private moments, Dani had always thought that she looked a bit like a toad- a fat, poisonous toad with jowly cheeks and flat eyes that would sit there, hardly moving, waiting to be fed. She looked particularly toad-like today, sitting on the comfortable sofa with a wide, indulgent smile on her face. In her hand there was a large, dark green plastic bag. Not the sort of plastic bag mum brought back from the supermarket; this was thicker and all together more exciting- you could tell just by looking at it that it contained something more fun than food shopping. James and Rebecca could tell that too. They stood excitedly on tiptoes, waiting to see what their aunt had brought them.
James’s present cam out first- a shiny metal car in a bright yellow box. “Thank you Auntie Rose,” he gabbled automatically, before taking his gift off a corner of the room unwrap it further. Meanwhile, Auntie Rose was removing something else from the bag. Rebecca looked a little crestfallen when she saw what it was; a magic wand, with a star at one end and the wand lit up, a sparkling golden colour. There was a tiara too, which Auntie Rose placed on Rebecca’s head before pinching her affev=ctionately on the cheek.
“Auntie Rose,” Rebecca said quiet, whingey voice. “i am told old for toys like that. I’m not a baby.”
Auntie Rose bristled slightly, and looked as if she was about to tell Rebecca off for her ingratitude; but at that moment she noiced Dani, and the indulgent smile fell from her face. “Dani,” she said abruptly, as though greeting a grown-up she didnt like very much. Her voice was lower than that of most of the women Dani knew.
“Hello, Auntie Rose,” Dani replied politely. She glanced at Rebecca’s glowing wand and the plastic bag. She didnt really expect there to be anything in it for her, but she couldnt help feeling a whisper of hope.
Auntie Rose looked away, “You’re too old for toys like that, Dani” she said by way of saying the bag was empty. Dani felt a tiny crush of disappointment. In her mind she searched for the words to explain that Rebecca was only a year younger than her; but it wasnt in her to answer back, and anyway, before she could say anything she felt her mum pushing pass her into the front room.
“You spoil them, Rose” she said perfunctorily. “They’ve got enough toys as it is” she handed her sister one of the glasses of wine she was carrying, and then took hearty swig from her own.
“I like to spoil them, Tess” Auntie Rose repiled. She also took a sip from her wine, and the awkwardness with Dani seemed to be immediately forgotten as they started chatting, Unobserved, Dani took a step backwards, and then silently climbed back upstairs to the refuge of her bedroom.
It had always been like this even before dad left. Dani had always felt second best. Mum made no secret about it- about the fact that after rebecca and james came along, she had wanted Dani to move somewhere else. It was dad who had insisted on her staying, but now he had left, “Run off” was what everyone said, and since then mum had seemed very bitter towards the little girl, as though she had be left with a burden she had long since lost interest in but couldnt get rid of.
It was just the way things were. But that didnt stop it hurting every time she was left out. It didnt stop the little embarrassment and shame coming to her cheeks. It didnt stop her from almost crying. She was almost crying now, as she sat once more on her bed, waiting for night-time to come.
Half an hour later, she heard James and Rebecca coming up stairs. There was a time when Dani would be in charge of making sure they brushed their teeth and washed their faces, but that time had long gone- there was no way that they would put up with it now, and so she waited, listening for the sounds of them finishing and getting into bed. As they got into bed she hurd footsteps coming up the stairs, at first she thought they were her mums but they were more plodding gait of Auntie Rose going into James and Rebecca’s room to read them a bed time story, She remembered when she had a bedtime story but there long gone now when her dad left, she wonted to listen to Auntie Rose but she though better and sat there quietly waiting for her to finish so she could get ready for bed.
A few minutes passed, and and eventually, Dani heard Auntie Rose going downstairs again. She would be staying till late drinking with mum. Dad didnt like mum drinking, but she did it more and more now to prove she was having a nice time without him. Dani waited a few more minutes before going to brush her teeth.
It was dark ouside now and the landing light had been switched off. Rebecca’s wand caught Dani’s eyes the moment she stepped out of her room, It was lying on the floor, discarded but still swiched on, its glow bathing the landing in a soft, golden light. To Dani’s eyes, it looked like treasure, and she found herself walking towards it. She knelt down and picked it up.
It was such a beautiful thing, she thought. She couldnt understand why Rebecca hadnt liked it. Why she had just left it there. If it had been Dani’s she would have taken better care of it: she would put it somewhere special. She longed to take it to bed with her and play with it all night under her covers with its magical light.
Gently Dani started to play with the wand, turing it on and off, waving it in the air saying magic spells. How the others in her school would laugh at her if they saw her doing this- Dani was always going into world of her own, and been teased for doing so.
“WHAT you doing with my toy?”
Dani jumped, and looked quiltily over her shoulder. Rebecca was standing there, accusing look on her face.
“Nothing nothing... i was just-”
“Give it here.” Dani foster sister lashed her arm out and grabbed the other end of the wand. It happened in a split second-the golden star at the end broke off in Rebecca’s hand, and the light went out, turning the landing into darkness. For a moment the two girls looked at each other before Rebecca let out “MUM MUM! Look what she’s done now mum!” Then she threw the piece in her hand to Dani’s knee’s. Dani froze hearing her mum rushing up the stairs. The landing light was turned on and there she was Dani’s foster mum looking down at the broken wand.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?”
Dani started to shake and her words couldnt come out “i didnt....” in just a whisper.
“She broke it! She broke my wand! It was her- i saw her do it!” Rebecca was shouting.
Suddenly Auntie Rose was there, hugging Rebecca saying soothing words to her. Dani’s mum however grabbed Dani by the arm pulling her to her feet “get into ur room” As she dragged the little girl along the landing to her room, slamming it closed so that the two of them were shut in there. Dani could smell the wine on her. “i am sick of u!” Her mum blazed, “You havent got any fucking idea have you? what its like.” Dani was sobbing, great heaving sobs shaking through her whole body. She wanted to tell her mum that she hadnt broke Rebecca’s toy, but she could find the words in her mouth.
The little girl’s crys seemed to enrage her foster mother on even more. “what have you got to say for yourself?” “WHAT HAVE YOU GOT TO SAY FOR YOURSELF”
Dani couldnt say anything and her silence seemed to push the woman over the edge. It all seem to happen in slow motion as she raised her hand and brought it down with surprising shocking force against the side of Dani’s face. Dani’s looked like she was going to fall onto her bed but her body suddenly twisted, and with a sharp sicking bang she hit the corner of her chest of drawers and then with a thud hit the floor. Her body started to burn and sting, She looked up at her mum who was looking down at her with eyes blazing. She seemed surpised by what she had just done, but not sorry. Dani thought.
“ I wish we’d