Leap of Faith, Cassidy Shay [best manga ereader .txt] 📗
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- Author: Cassidy Shay
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She takes a deep breath. “But I realized that God must exist, in some way. Because without God, I wouldn’t be able to hear the radio. I probably would have died with my aunt if he hadn’t stepped in.” She studies her hands. “But I still don’t know that I want to worship this god, this being that watches over all of us. There’s too much evil in this world. If he’s letting all this happen… No. It’s wrong. I guess I know he's there. I just don't know if I like him.”
I nod. “Well, I’m sad that you think of Him in that way. Hopefully, that will change. But I’m glad you thought about what I said. And I hope that you’ll realize God really does love you, and He doesn’t take people away from you to hurt you. He has His reasons. And sometimes, it's not exactly His choice. But He'll make sure that something good comes out it, somehow, somewhere along the line.”
She nods, but doesn’t look convinced. “I won’t be able to listen to the radio tomorrow,” she says quietly, changing the subject. “I have to go to the doctor. My mom made an appointment with my doctor’s friend. He’s supposedly going to figure out what’s up with my ears.” She shrugs.
I just nod. I don’t know what I’m supposed to say. “So, are you going to tell me the real reason why you were sneaking around my neighborhood?” She looks up at me, a smile on her lips.
“I just needed some fresh air. I wanted to think about some things. Today was kind of weird.”
She nods. “Yeah, I just had a mini press conference on my front porch. My sister told me that I already talked a bunch on the radio, so I might as well just tell them about it, so they’ll leave me alone.” She exhales slowly, puffing out her cheeks. “I guess she’s right. But I wish people wouldn’t make a big deal out of it. I don’t like being the center of attention. And I like my privacy. The only reason I ever would have considered calling in today was because my sister made me promise to do it.”
"Are they still there? At your house?"
She shakes her head. "No, my mom threatened to call the cops if they didn't leave, now that they got answers. But I'm sure they'll be back to ruin my life again tomorrow."
Before I can say anything, I feel rain on my face. It starts out slowly, but the raindrops start coming faster. In the matter of just a few seconds, it’s gone from sprinkling to outright downpour. “We should get inside.”
“Good idea.”
I decide to walk her to her house, so I know she gets home safe. We get inside and I shake the water out of my hair. She immediately goes to the couch and pulls a blanket around her shoulders. “Okay. I gotta go get my car. I just wanted to make sure you got home okay.” I give a little wave good-bye and turn back around to face the door. I really don’t want to walk all the way to my car in the rain, but I don’t want to bother the family.
I start to open the door to leave, but she grabs my arm. “No way. You're not walking around town in the rain. We can drive you to your car. Let me go get my sister.”
“Lisa, will you give me a ride?” I poke my head into her doorway. She’s nodding her head to some kind of music while she does her homework- she's taking online classes with the state university. She gets up and turns the music down.
“Where do you need to go in a storm like this?”
“Actually, I have a friend who went for a walk earlier and left his car somewhere. He needs you to take him to the car.”
“Okay, gimme a second to freshen up.” She puts her notes aside and stands up to face the mirror.
I roll my eyes. “Lisa, it’s not a date. We’re going to bring someone to their car. Let’s go.” She doesn’t argue. Instead, she rolls her eyes, grabs the keys, and follows me out the door.
I get to the living room and Mikey is standing there, awkwardly trying to decide what to do with himself. “C’mon.” I motion towards the garage door.
We get in the car and I immediately turn the radio on. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Mikey smile. No one talks except for when Mikey tells Lisa where his car is parked. We pull up next to the car and he gets out. It’s still raining, but not nearly as hard as it was earlier. “Thanks for the ride,” he says. “See you tomorrow, Amia.”
Once we get home, I go to my room. I expect Lisa to go to hers, but she follows me. “Who was that?”
“That was just Mikey.” It takes her a second to remember who he was, and she smiles.
“He’s a lot cuter than he sounded on the radio.” She comes over and sits next to me on the bed, nudges me with her elbow. “And I think he likes you.” Her smile covers her whole face, and for some reason I want to smack her.
I shake my head. “You got that from one car ride? Lisa, no. He’s known me for three days. You don’t like someone in three days.”
She opens her mouth to say something, but I turn my head away, ending the conversation. “I have to do my homework now,” I say after a minute, and reach into my backpack. I don’t know if she says anything else or not. I start on my English and, after a minute, she leaves. I do my math and English, then start on Chemistry. When I’m done, I look at the clock. It’s past midnight.
I get up to turn off the light, then turn on the radio. Late at night, they play the classic worship songs that everyone knows. To mix it up, they just play the songs performed by different people. They are my only lullaby, and they’ve pulled me into sleep each night since I started hearing. I close my eyes as Michael W. Smith's voice comes to my ears, singing the song Breathe.
I try to stay awake as long as I can, to hear every note, all night. It’s sort of like making up for all the years when I could hear nothing. When I wake up in the morning, I regret not being able to stay up later.
That day, my mom picks me up from school five minutes early. As I walk out of class, I roll my eyes. Why couldn’t she just pick me up when the bell rings? We drive to Dr. Lee's office, then sit in the waiting room for at least half an hour. For the first couple minutes, neither of us speak.
Then, my mom turns toward me and starts telling me about her day. She talks slow, so it’s easy for me to read her lips. I concentrate on what she’s staying, but none of it really registers. I'm focusing too hard on trying to hear. It doesn't have to be a sentence, or even a word. Even just a syllable, just a single sound, would do. I even close my eyes, so that I really have no idea what she's saying. I lean towards her. Maybe I just need to get closer, and it'll work.
I feel her hand on my shoulder, and I open my eyes. She looks concerned, and I instantly feel bad for worrying her. “What’s wrong, honey?” Still no sound.
I shake my head. “Nothing, I was just thinking about something one of my teachers said in class today.” I tell her to finish telling her story, but she looks up to a space behind me. She nods, stands up. “Come on, honey. It’s time.”
I follow her down a few hallways until we get to an examination room. To my surprise, the doctors are already there. Dr. Lee stands up when we enter and he shakes my mom’s hand. “So glad that you guys could make it. This is my friend, Dr. Abrams."
I look at the man standing behind Dr. Lee. He’s tall, at least six-four. He’s skinny, with long fingers. His head is bald and plain glasses sit on his nose. He kind of creeps me out.
For over an hour, Dr. Abrams runs tests and examines my ears. He takes notes every couple minutes, and as more and more time passes, his frown deepens. Finally, he’s done. He looks at his notes again, and then at my mom. He starts talking, but my mom stops him.
“Let her see you talk, so that she can understand what you’re saying.” He turns toward me, rolling his eyes, as if he thinks that I don’t really need to know what’s going on. All throughout the appointment, he's acted like that. Like just because I'm deaf means that I can't make any decisions, that I won't be able to understand anything. I've been coming to the doctor regularly for ten years, I think. I can understand plenty.
“I didn’t see anything that, I can really diagnose… I’ll take my notes home tonight and reread…” He glances at the papers sitting on the counter. “I might find something that explains…” He gestures to me. We talk with him for a few more minutes, but his broken sentences don't help me understand anything besides the fact that he has no idea what's going on. I can't help but think that this whole thing was such a waste of time and money. We learned absolutely nothing.
A few minutes later, as I’m getting into the car, my mom starts laughing so hard that the car shakes. “What?” Her eyes are closed, and her shoulders shake.
“That doctor… He was just… Why didn’t he finish any of his sentences?” She starts laughing again, and I laugh with her. It really isn't that funny, but we laugh because we don't know what else to do.
After a few minutes, she puts the car into drive and we go home. As we walk in the door, we both have large smiles on our faces. I look at the clock above the kitchen sink. It’s only 5:30. I still have time to listen and maybe call Mikey. I go to my room and turn on the radio. A song is playing, and at the end, I hear Mikey’s voice.
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