The Lesser Bourgeoisie, Honore de Balzac [good book recommendations .TXT] 📗

of the notary.

Off she went to la Peyrade's lodgings; there she was told he was

dining at the Thuilliers'; to the Thuilliers' she came, after running

about the streets--for they didn't give her quite the right address

--till ten o'clock; but she got there while the company were still

sitting round waiting for the notary, and gaping at each other, no one

knowing what to say and do, for neither Brigitte nor Thuillier have

faculty enough to get out of such a scrape with credit; and we all

missed the voice of Madame de Godollo and the talent of Madame

Phellion."

 

"Oh! you are too polite, Monsieur le maire," said Madame Phellion,

bridling.

 

"Well, as I said," continued Minard, "at ten o'clock Madame Lambert

reached the antechamber of Monsieur the general-councillor, and there

she asked, in great excitement, to see la Peyrade."

 

"That was natural," said Phellion; "he being the intermediary of the

investment, this woman had a right to question him."

 

"You should just have seen that Tartuffe!" continued Minard. "He had

no sooner gone out than he returned, bringing the news. As everybody

was longing to get away, there followed a general helter-skelter. And

then what does our man do? He goes back to Madame Lambert, who was

crying that she was ruined! she was lost!--which might very well be

true, but it might also be only a scene arranged between them in

presence of the company, whom the woman's outcries detained in the

antechamber. 'Don't be anxious, my good woman,' said la Peyrade; 'the

investment was made at your request, consequently, I owe you nothing;

BUT it is enough that the money passed through my hands to make my

conscience tell me I am responsible. If the notary's assets are not

enough to pay you I will do so.'"

 

"Yes," said Phellion, "that was my idea as you told it; the

intermediary is or ought to be responsible. I should not have

hesitated to do as Monsieur de la Peyrade did, and I do not think that

after such conduct as that he ought to be taxed with Jesuitism."

 

"Yes, you would have done so," said Minard, "and so should I, but we

shouldn't have done it with a brass band; we should have paid our

money quietly, like gentlemen. But this electoral manager, how is he

going to pay it? Out of the 'dot'?"

 

At this moment the little page entered the room and gave a letter to

Felix Phellion. It came from pere Picot, and was written at his

dictation by Madame Lambert, for which reason we will not reproduce

the orthography. The writing of Madame Lambert was of those that can

never be forgotten when once seen. Recognizing it instantly, Felix

hastened to say:--

 

"A letter from the professor"; then, before breaking the seal, he

added, "Will you permit me, Monsieur le maire."

 

"He'll rate you finely," said Minard, laughing. "I never saw anything

so comical as his wrath last night."

 

Felix, as he read the letter, smiled to himself. When he had finished

it, he passed it to his father, saying:--

 

"Read it aloud if you like."

 

Whereupon, with his solemn voice and manner, Phellion read as

follows:--

 

My dear Felix,--I have just received your note; it came in the

nick of time, for I was, as they say, in a fury with you. You tell

me that you were guilty of that abuse of confidence (about which I

intended to write you a piece of my mind) in order to give a

knock-down blow to my relations by proving that a man capable of

making such complicated calculations as your discovery required

was not a man to put in a lunatic asylum or drag before a

judiciary council. That argument pleases me, and it makes such a

good answer to the infamous proceedings of my relations that I

praise you for having had the idea. But you sold it to me, that

argument, pretty dear when you put me in company with a star, for

you know very well _that_ propinquity wouldn't please me at all. It

is not at my age, and after solving the great problem of perpetual

motion, that a man could take up with such rubbish as that,--good

only for boys and greenhorns like you; and that is what I have

taken the liberty this morning to go and tell the minister of

public instruction, by whom I must say I was received with the

most perfect urbanity. I asked him to see whether, as he had made

a mistake and sent them to the wrong address, he could not take

back his cross and his pension,--though to be sure, as I told him,

I deserved them for other things.

 

"The government," he replied, "is not in the habit of making

mistakes; what it does is always properly done, and it never

annuls an ordinance signed by the hand of his Majesty. Your great

labors have deserved the two favors the King has granted you; it

is a long-standing debt, which I am happy to pay off in his name."

 

"But Felix?" I said; "because after all for a young man it is not

such a bad discovery."

 

"Monsieur Felix Phellion," replied the minister, "will receive in

the course of the day his appointment to the rank of Chevalier of

the Legion of honor; I will have it signed this morning by the

king. Moreover, there is a vacant place at the Academy of

Sciences, and if you are not a candidate for it--"

 

"I, in the Academy!" I interrupted, with the frankness of speech

you know I always use; "I execrate academies; they are stiflers,

extinguishers, assemblages of sloths, idlers, shops with big signs

and nothing to sell inside--"

 

"Well, then," said the minister, smiling, "I think that at the

next election Monsieur Felix Phellion will have every chance, and

among those chances I count the influence of the government which

is secured to him."

 

There, my poor boy, is all that I have been able to do to reward

your good intentions and to prove to you that I am no longer

angry. I think the relations are going to pull a long face. Come

and talk about it to-day at four o'clock,--for I don't dine after

bedtime, as I saw some people doing last night in a house where I

had occasion to mention your talents in a manner that was very

advantageous to you. Madame Lambert, who does better with a

saucepan than with pen and ink, shall distinguish herself, though

it is Friday, and she never lets me off a fast day. But she has

promised us a fish dinner worthy of an archbishop, with a fine

half-bottle of champagne (doubled if need be) to wash it down.

 

                                 Your old professor and friend,

                                 Picot (Nepomucene),

                                 Chevalier of the Legion of honor.

 

P.S.--Do you think you could obtain from your respectable mother a

little flask of that old and excellent cognac you once gave me?

Not a drop remains, and yesterday I was forced to drink some stuff

only fit to bathe horses' feet, as I did not hesitate to say to

the beautiful Hebe who served it to me.

 

 

"Of course he shall have some," said Madame Phellion; "not a flask,

but a gallon."

 

"And I," said Minard, "who pique myself on mine, which didn't come

from Brigitte's grocer either, I'll send him several bottles; but

don't tell him who sent them, Monsieur le chevalier, for you never can

tell how that singular being will take things."

 

"Wife," said Phellion, suddenly, "get me my black coat and a white

cravat."

 

"Where are you going?" asked Madame Phellion. "To the minister, to

thank him?"

 

"Bring me, I say, those articles of habiliment. I have an important

visit to make; and Monsieur le maire will, I know, excuse me."

 

"I myself must be off," said Minard. "I, too, have important business,

though it isn't about a star."

 

Questioned in vain by Felix and his wife, Phellion completed his

attire with a pair of white gloves, sent for a carriage, and, at the

end of half an hour, entered the presence of Brigitte, whom he found

presiding over the careful putting away of the china, glass, and

silver which had performed their several functions the night before.

Leaving these housekeeping details, she received her visitor.

 

"Well, papa Phellion," she said, when they were both seated in the

salon, "you broke your word yesterday; you were luckier than the rest.

Do you know what a trick that notary played us?"

 

"I know all," said Phellion; "and it is the check thus unexpectedly

given to the execution of your plans that I shall take for the text of

an important conversation which I desire to have with you. Sometimes

Providence would seem to take pleasure in counteracting our best-laid

schemes; sometimes, also, by means of the obstacles it raises in our

path, it seems to intend to indicate that we are bearing too far to

the right or to the left, and should pause to reflect upon our way."

 

"Providence!" said Brigitte the strong-minded,--"Providence has

something else to do than to look after us."

 

"That is one opinion," said Phellion; "but I myself am accustomed to

see its decrees in the little as well as the great things of life; and

certainly, if it had allowed the fulfilment of your engagements with

Monsieur de la Peyrade to be even partially begun yesterday, you would

not have seen me here to-day."

 

"Then," said Brigitte, "do you think that by default of a notary the

marriage will not take place? They do say that for want of a monk the

abbey won't come to a standstill."

 

"Dear lady," said the great citizen, "you will do me the justice to

feel that neither I, nor my wife, have ever attempted to influence

your decision; we have allowed our young people to love each other

without much consideration as to where that attachment would lead--"

 

"It led to upsetting their minds," said Brigitte; "that's what love

is, and that's why I deprived myself of it."

 

"What you say is, indeed, true of my unfortunate son," resumed

Phellion; "for, notwithstanding the noble distractions he has

endeavored to give to his sorrow, he is to-day so miserably overcome

by it that this morning, in spite of the glorious success he has just

obtained, he was speaking to me of undertaking a voyage of

circumnavigation around the globe,--a rash enterprise which would

detain him from his native land at least three years, if, indeed, he

escaped the dangers of so prolonged a journey."

 

"Well," said Brigitte, "it isn't a bad idea; he'll return consoled,

having discovered three or four more new stars."

 

"His present discovery suffices," said Phellion, with double his

ordinary gravity, "and it is under the auspices of that triumph, which

has placed his name at so great a height in the scientific world, that

I have the assurance to say to you, point-blank: Mademoiselle, I have

come to ask you, on behalf of my son, who loves as he is beloved, for

the hand in marriage of Mademoiselle Celeste Colleville."

 

"But, my dear man," replied Brigitte, "it is too late; remember that

we are _diametrically_ engaged to la Peyrade."

 

"It is never, they say, too late to do well, and yesterday it would

have been in my judgment too early. My son, having to offer an

equivalent for a fortune, could not say to you until to-day: 'Though

Celeste, by your generosity has a "dot" which mine is far from

equalling, yet I have the honor to be a member of the Royal order of

the Legion of honor, and shortly, according to appearance, I shall be

a member of the Royal Academy of Sciences, one of the five branches of

the Institute.'"

 

"Certainly," said Brigitte; "Felix is getting to be a very pretty

match, but we have passed our word to la Peyrade; the banns are

published at the mayor's office, and unless something extraordinary

happens the contract will be signed. La Peyrade is very busy about

Thuillier's election, which he has now got into good shape; we have

capital engaged with him in the affair of this newspaper; and it would

be impossible to go back on our promise, even if we wished to do so."

 

"So," said Phellion, "in one of the rare occasions of life when reason

and inclination blend together, you think you must be guided solely by

the question of material interests. Celeste, as we know, has no

inclination for Monsieur de la Peyrade. Brought up with Felix--"

 

"Brought up with Felix!" interrupted Brigitte. "She was given a period

of time to choose between Monsieur de la Peyrade and your son,--that's

how we coerce her, if you please,--and she would not take Monsieur

Felix, whose atheism is too well known."

 

"You are mistaken, mademoiselle, my son is not an atheist; for

Voltaire himself doubted if there could be atheists; and no later than

yesterday, in this house, an ecclesiastic, as admirable for his

talents as for his virtues, after making a magnificent eulogy of