Woman, William J. Robinson [classic literature books txt] 📗

A little of the powder should be shaken into the stockings every morning, and the stockings should be changed very frequently, once or twice a day. This powder is also efficient against perspiration and bad odor from the armpits.

I am not giving any treatment for bad odor from the mouth, for this condition may be due to a great variety of causes. The cause may reside in the nose; it may reside in the mouth, decaying teeth, throat, tonsils. It may be due to a bad stomach, to some disease of the lungs, etc. Sometimes it is due to overeating. What would be of value in one condition might be useless in another. The right thing, therefore, is to go to a competent physician, have him find the cause of your trouble and outline the proper treatment.

Leucorrhea. Some men find themselves entirely unable to have sexual relations with a woman whom they know is suffering with leucorrhea. The mere knowledge of the fact takes away their ability to perform the act. It renders them impotent. It disgusts them, and disgust is fatal to sexual power. Only to-day I saw in my office a woman who anxiously begged for advice and treatment. She had been married five years. She has always had leucorrhea, from her fifteenth year as far as she remembers. Otherwise she did not suffer. For the first three years or so her married life has been a happy one. Then in an unfortunate moment she told her husband about her profuse leucorrhea, and instantly she noticed a change in him. He could not fully hide the expression on his face. And since then he ceased to have intercourse with her. He made a few attempts, but they turned out unsatisfactory to both, and she noticed that he was forcing himself, doing it against his will. She took some patent medicines and went to one doctor, but without any results. Now, unless she could be cured, she feared her husband would demand a separation or a divorce. If you have leucorrhea treat it. And remember you need not initiate your husband in all your unesthetic ailments.

Loyalty. Loyalty on the part of the wife is almost as important as fidelity. And it is in the highest degree disloyal for a wife to talk to her female or male friends about her husband's peculiarities, foibles or weaknesses. The husband's—as well, of course, as the wife's—peculiarities should be what we call a professional secret. Just as a physician is forbidden to talk to outsiders about his patient's troubles, so should a wife not talk about her husband, nor a husband about his wife. I know of a case in which a newly married husband was temporarily impotent (and it was the wife's fault, too). She spoke about it in the deepest confidence to a close girl friend of hers. The friend told it in deep confidence to another friend. And so it went around until it reached the husband's ears. From that moment he made no further attempt to have relations with his wife; a coolness resulted, which led to a separation, which still persists. The wife begged forgiveness, but he was unable to grant it—he felt so deeply hurt.

Flirting. Do not flirt. Men are apt to misunderstand you, and you are apt to get the reputation of a loose woman without in any way having deserved it. I do not say that you should always wear a forbidding expression, and should scowl at people who dare to smile at you or otherwise pay homage to your feminine charms. But there is a difference between a friendly expression and flirting. However, when your husband begins to neglect you, then a mild flirtation may be justifiable. It will always do your husband good to know that there are other males in the world beside him, and that some of these males find interest in the female whom he considers his permanent and exclusive property.

Slovenly Husbands. Don't let your husband become a slob. That is just what I mean. It is no use mincing words. Some husbands have never acquired the habit—or if they have acquired it they quickly lost it—of regarding their wives as ladies. "She is not a lady, she is only my wife," is a well-known joke, but some men take it not as a jest. Some men think that before their wives they can be as slovenly and unclean as they please. Give your husband to understand that cleanliness and freshness is not a "sex-limited" attribute, and just as a husband wants his wife to be clean and dainty and well-groomed, so a wife may enjoy the same qualities in her husband. Some women are very fastidious, and while they may say nothing to their husbands for fear of irritating them, they may think a good deal.

Carrying Life Insurance. Every husband should carry some life insurance—as much as he conveniently can. This should be the husband's most pleasant duty, particularly so when the wife has no profession of her own and there are small children to bring up. The lack of consideration, the thoughtlessness—I would call it dishonesty—on the part of many husbands who claim to love their wives is simply heart-breaking. Who of us does not know of cases of refined wives with children left absolutely penniless and forced into wage slavery or even into menial service by the negligence of their husbands? Such things happened even to wives whose husbands were making from three to ten thousand a year. Thoughtlessness, carelessness, procrastination—and then it was too late. There is not a man who makes as little as twenty dollars a week who cannot carry some insurance. I was once poor, very poor. And the terrifying thought, What would happen to my wife and two children if I should be taken off suddenly? gave me many a troubled and sleepless night. And when I took out a thousand dollars insurance I felt some relief. But I felt it was inadequate. I therefore made a supreme effort and soon took an additional ten thousand dollars. And I assure you that the annual premium of two hundred and eighty-six dollars was a terrible burden on me. There were times when I felt as if I had to give it up. But I deprived myself of many necessities (there was no question of luxuries) and I paid my premiums regularly. But in compensation I had restful nights. It was soothing to know that if I should be taken away in my earliest youth my equally young wife and two little babies would not be left penniless. I verily believe that an adequate life insurance prolongs a person's life, because it removes the worry about the future of the wife and children.

I repeat, every husband should carry some life insurance. And the habit of the bridegroom presenting the bride with a substantial life insurance policy is a very good one. It is not only a financial protection to the wife; it is also more or less a guarantee of the husband's fair health.

Making a Will. Another point. Every husband should make a will. This is a delicate point about which most wives would hesitate to speak to their husbands, but the husband should attend to the matter himself. A will doesn't shorten anybody's life, but is very convenient in case of a sudden taking off. This is, of course, particularly important if there is some property. If the husband dies without a will, there is endless trouble and red tape for the wife. An executor has to be appointed, she has to give bonds, etc., etc. If the husband leaves a will making his wife sole executrix, without a bond, all trouble is avoided. I assume, of course, that the husband has perfect confidence in his wife's wisdom and integrity. If he has not and there are children, it is just as well to designate some outside executor or executors. But whichever may be the case, it is a good and sensible thing always to have a will properly made out and witnessed.