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Of My Loav. No,  Madam,  I

Sollemly Purtest,  That Of All The Butys In The Unaversal Glob,

There Is None Kapable Of Hateracting My Iis Like You. Corts And

Pallaces Would Be To Me Deserts Without Your Kumpany,  And With It

A Wilderness Would Have More Charms Than Haven Itself. For I Hop

You Will Beleve Me When I Sware Every Place In The Univarse Is A

Haven With You. I Am Konvinced You Must Be Sinsibel Of My Violent

Passion For You,  Which,  If I Endevored To Hid It,  Would Be As

Impossible As For You,  Or The Son,  To Hid Your Buty's. I Assure

You I Have Not Slept A Wink Since I Had The Hapness Of Seeing You

Last; Therefore Hop You Will,  Out Of Kumpassion,  Let Me Have The

Honour Of Seeing You This Afternune; For I Am,  With The Greatest

Adwhoration,

 

"Most Deivine Creeture,  Iour Most Passionate Amirer,  Adwhorer,  And

Slave,  Jonathan Wyld."

 

If The Spelling Of This Letter Be Not So Strictly Orthographical,

The Reader Will Be Pleased To Remember That Such A Defect Might Be

Worthy Of Censure In A Low And Scholastic Character,  But Can Be No

Blemish In That Sublime Greatness Of Which We Endeavour To Raise A

Complete Idea In This History. In Which Kind Of Composition

Spelling,  Or Indeed Any Kind Of Human Literature,  Hath Never Been

Thought A Necessary Ingredient; For If These Sort Of Great

Personages Can But Complot And Contrive Their Noble Schemes,  And

Hack And Hew Mankind Sufficiently,  There Will Never Be Wanting Fit

And Able Persons Who Can Spell To Record Their Praises. Again,  If

It Should Be Observed That The Stile Of This Letter Doth Not

Exactly Correspond With That Of Our Hero's Speeches,  Which We Have

Here Recorded,  We Answer,  It Is Sufficient If In These The

Historian Adheres Faithfully To The Matter,  Though He Embellishes

The Diction With Some Flourishes Of His Own Eloquence,  Without

Which The Excellent Speeches Recorded In Antient Historians

(Particularly In Sallust) Would Have Scarce Been Found In Their

Writings. Nay,  Even Amongst The Moderns,  Famous As They Are For

Elocution,  It May Be Doubted Whether Those Inimitable Harangues

Published In The Monthly Magazines Came Literally From The Mouths

Of The Hurgos,  &C.,  As They Are There Inserted,  Or Whether We May

Not Rather Suppose One Historian Of Great Eloquence Hath Borrowed

The Matter Only,  And Adorned It With Those Rhetorical Showers For

Which Many Of The Said Hurgos Are Not So Extremely Eminent.

 

 

Book 3 Chapter 6 Pg 104

Matters Preliminary To The Marriage Between Mr. Jonathan Wild And

The Chaste Laetitia.

 

 

 

 

 

But To Proceed With Our History; Fireblood,  Having Received This

Letter,  And Promised On His Honour,  With Many Voluntary

Asseverations,  To Discharge His Embassy Faithfully,  Went To Visit

The Fair Laetitia. The Lady,  Having Opened The Letter And Read It,

Put On An Air Of Disdain,  And Told Mr. Fireblood She Could Not

Conceive What Mr. Wild Meant By Troubling Her With His

Impertinence; She Begged Him To Carry The Letter Back Again,

Saying,  Had She Known From Whom It Came,  She Would Have Been D--D

Before She Had Opened It. "But With You,  Young Gentleman," Says

She,  "I Am Not In The Least Angry. I Am Rather Sorry That So

Pretty A Young Man Should Be Employed In Such An Errand." She

Accompanied These Words With So Tender An Accent And So Wanton A

Leer,  That Fireblood,  Who Was No Backward Youth,  Began To Take Her

By The Hand,  And Proceeded So Warmly,  That,  To Imitate His Actions

With The Rapidity Of Our Narration,  He In A Few Minutes Ravished

This Fair Creature,  Or At Least Would Have Ravished Her,  If She

Had Not,  By A Timely Compliance,  Prevented Him.

 

Fireblood,  After He Had Ravished As Much As He Could,  Returned To

Wild,  And Acquainted Him As Far As Any Wise Man Would,  With What

Had Passed; Concluding With Many Praises Of The Young Lady's

Beauty,  With Whom,  He Said,  If His Honour Would Have Permitted

Him,  He Should Himself Have Fallen In Love; But,  D--N Him If He

Would Not Sooner Be Torn To Pieces By Wild Horses Than Even Think

Of Injuring His Friend. He Asserted Indeed,  And Swore So Heartily,

That,  Had Not Wild Been So Thoroughly Convinced Of The Impregnable

Chastity Of The Lady,  He Might Have Suspected His Success;

However,  He Was,  By These Means,  Entirely Satisfied Of His

Friend's Inclination Towards His Mistress.

 

Thus Constituted Were The Love Affairs Of Our Hero,  When His

Father Brought Him Mr. Snap's Proposal. The Reader Must Know Very

Little Of Love,  Or Indeed Of Anything Else,  If He Requires Any

Information Concerning The Reception Which This Proposal Met With.

Not Guilty Never Sounded Sweeter In The Ears Of A Prisoner At The

Bar,  Nor The Sound Of A Reprieve To One At The Gallows,  Than Did

Every Word Of The Old Gentleman In The Ears Of Our Hero. He Gave

His Father Full Power To Treat In His Name,  And Desired Nothing

More Than Expedition.

 

The Old People Now Met,  And Snap,  Who Had Information From His

Book 3 Chapter 6 Pg 105

Daughter Of The Violent Passion Of Her Lover,  Endeavoured To

Improve It To The Best Advantage,  And Would Have Not Only Declined

Giving Her Any Fortune Himself,  But Have Attempted To Cheat Her Of

What She Owed To The Liberality Of Her Relations,  Particularly Of

A Pint Silver Caudle-Cup,  The Gift Of Her Grandmother. However,  In

This The Young Lady Herself Afterwards Took Care To Prevent Him.

As To The Old Mr. Wild,  He Did Not Sufficiently Attend To All The

Designs Of Snap,  As His Faculties Were Busily Employed In Designs

Of His Own,  To Overreach (Or,  As Others Express It,  To Cheat) The

Said Mr. Snap,  By Pretending To Give His Son A Whole Number For A

Chair,  When In Reality He Was Intitled To A Third Only.

 

While Matters Were Thus Settling Between The Old Folks The Young

Lady Agreed To Admit Mr. Wild's Visits,  And,  By Degrees,  Began To

Entertain Him With All The Shew Of Affection Which The Great

Natural Reserve Of Her Temper,  And The Greater Artificial Reserve

Of Her Education,  Would Permit. At Length,  Everything Being Agreed

Between Their Parents,  Settlements Made,  And The Lady's Fortune

(To Wit,  Seventeen Pounds And Nine Shillings In Money And Goods)

Paid Down,  The Day For Their Nuptials Was Fixed,  And They Were

Celebrated Accordingly.

 

Most Private Histories,  As Well As Comedies,  End At This Period;

The Historian And The Poet Both Concluding They Have Done Enough

For Their Hero When They Have Married Him; Or Intimating Rather

That The Rest Of His Life Must Be A Dull Calm Of Happiness,  Very

Delightful Indeed To Pass Through,  But Somewhat Insipid To Relate;

And Matrimony In General Must,  I Believe,  Without Any Dispute,  Be

Allowed To Be This State Of Tranquil Felicity,  Including So Little

Variety,  That,  Like Salisbury Plain,  It Affords Only One Prospect,

A Very Pleasant One It Must Be Confessed,  But The Same.

 

Now There Was All The Probability Imaginable That This Contract

Would Have Proved Of Such Happy Note,  Both From The Great

Accomplishments Of The Young Lady,  Who Was Thought To Be Possessed

Of Every Qualification Necessary To Make The Marriage State Happy,

And From The Truly Ardent Passion Of Mr. Wild; But,  Whether It Was

That Nature And Fortune Had Great Designs For Him To Execute,  And

Would Not Suffer His Vast Abilities To Be Lost And Sunk In The

Arms Of A Wife,  Or Whether Neither Nature Nor Fortune Had Any Hand

In The Matter,  Is A Point I Will Mot Determine. Certain It Is That

This Match Did Not Produce That Serene State We Have Mentioned

Above,  But Resembled The Most Turbulent And Ruffled,  Rather Than

The Most Calm Sea.

 

I Cannot Here Omit A Conjecture,  Ingenious Enough,  Of A Friend Of

Mine,  Who Had A Long Intimacy In The Wild Family. He Hath Often

Told Me He Fancied One Reason Of The Dissatisfactions Which

Afterwards Fell Out Between Wild And His Lady,  Arose From The

Number Of Gallants To Whom She Had,  Before Marriage,  Granted

Favours; For,  Says He,  And Indeed Very Probable It Is Too,  The

Lady Might Expect From Her Husband What She Had Before Received

From Several,  And,  Being Angry Not To Find One Man As Good As Ten,

She Had,  From That Indignation,  Taken Those Steps Which We Cannot

Book 3 Chapter 6 Pg 106

Perfectly Justify.

 

From This Person I Received The Following Dialogue,  Which He

Assured Me He Had Overheard And Taken Down Verbatim. It Passed On

The Day Fortnight After They Were Married.

 

Book 3 Chapter 7 Pg 107

A Dialogue Matrimonial,  Which Passed Between Jonathan Wild,  Esq.,

And Laetitia His Wife,  On The Morning Of The Day Fortnight On

Which His Nuptials Were Celebrated; Which Concluded More Amicably

Than Those Debates Generally Do.

 

 

 

 

 

Jonathan. My Dear,  I Wish You Would Lie A Little Longer In Bed

This Morning.

 

Laetitia. Indeed I Cannot; I Am Engaged To Breakfast With Jack

Strongbow.

 

Jonathan. I Don't Know What Jack Strongbow Doth So Often At My

House. I Assure You I Am Uneasy At It; For,  Though I Have No

Suspicion Of Your Virtue,  Yet It May Injure Your Reputation In The

Opinion Of My Neighbours.

 

Laetitia. I Don't Trouble My Head About My Neighbours; And They

Shall No More Tell Me What Company I Am To Keep Than My Husband

Shall.

 

Jonathan. A Good Wife Would Keep No Company Which Made Her Husband

Uneasy.

 

Laetitia. You Might Have Found One Of Those Good Wives,  Sir,  If

You Had Pleased; I Had No Objection To It.

 

Jonathan. I Thought I Had Found One In You.

 

Laetitia. You Did! I Am Very Much Obliged To You For Thinking Me

So Poor-Spirited A Creature; But I Hope To Convince You To The

Contrary.

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