Mail Order Bride: Westward Winds, - [best free ebook reader for android .txt] 📗
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“Do you mind tellin’ me what the hell that was all about?” Dean asked as he undressed for bed.
“What are you talking about?” Tessa brushed her hair out while they talked.
Dean looked at the wavy, silky tresses and wanted to run his hands through them. That he couldn’t made his temper rise even more. “You know exactly what I’m talking about, Tessa. Don’t play dumb with me.”
“I only spoke the truth. I don’t need protecting,” Tessa said.
“Yeah and then you left and ruined the rest of the night,” Dean said.
“I’m sorry to hear that,” Tessa said, feeling spiteful.
“No, you’re not. You wanted to punish your father and I. You especially wanna punish me, Tessa. I’m not the only one in the wrong here, Tessa, but you’re too damn high and mighty to admit it,” Dean said.
Tessa stiffened. “High and mighty? I think not.”
“Well, I think so,” Dean said, coming to stand in front of her.
Tessa forced herself to look into his eyes instead of at his body. “I’m sorry you feel that way.”
His face tightened as his anger neared the boiling point. “No, you’re not. Do you enjoy this? Because I sure as hell don’t. Maybe what I did was wrong—”
Tessa’s eyebrows rose. “Maybe?”
Dean wanted to throw something breakable to release the pent up anger that burned in his chest. “Is that what you want? For me to admit that I was wrong? Fine! I was wrong, Tessa. I was wrong to care enough about what you thought of me to have Marcus help me out so I didn’t sound dumb! There, I said it.”
“But do you believe it?” Tessa asked. “Or are you just saying it because it’s what you think I want to hear?”
Dean flung his arms wide. “I don’t know what you want to hear, Tessa.”
Then he put his face in his hands for a moment and tried to get himself under control. Lowering his hands, Dean went over to where his clothes hung and started putting his pants on.
“What are you doing?” Tessa asked.
“I’m going to sleep in the barn,” Dean said.
Tessa asked, “Why?”
Dean pulled his shirt on and buttoned it as he said, “Because I can’t stay here arguing with you and then sleep on the floor while you’re so close to me. I can’t promise to keep my hands off you and you don’t want anything to do with me at the moment. If I’m out there, I won’t be tempted.”
He left the room and Tessa almost went after him. Pride intervened and made her stay where she was.
Tessa sat at Lydia’s kitchen table sipping on some coffee. She’d brought the children over to play with their kids and to get away from the ranch for a while. The situation between her and Dean was getting worse, not better, and Tessa knew that something had to give at some point. She just didn’t know if they could get past the problem.
Lydia looked at Tessa with concern. “You don’t look like you slept at all last night.”
“I didn’t. I don’t know what to do. We’re both so angry with each other,” Tessa said. “It might sound silly to other people, but we’re both angry about letters that were either sent or not sent.”
Lydia took a sip of coffee and said, “You’re going to have to explain that to me, Tessa.”
Tessa looked into her kind, brown eyes. “I’m upset because he just doesn’t understand why I’m upset. He also thinks that I don’t have a reason to be. He’s angry because I didn’t write home to tell my family about marrying him.”
“Let me guess, both of you feel you’re justified in your anger and you want the other one to admit you’re right,” Lydia said with a chuckle.
Tessa said, “Yes. He admitted he was wrong last night, but it didn’t seem like a true admission. It was as if he just wanted to end the fighting.”
“Would that have been a bad thing?” Lydia said.
“If it wasn’t real, yes.” Tessa said.
Lydia said, “Is your anger and pride getting you anywhere?”
Tessa put her head down on her forearm. “No, but I can’t seem to help myself. I keep asking myself why I can’t let it go, but I’m not coming up with any answers.”
“I can help you out with that,” Lydia said.
Tessa raised her head and said, “You can?”
“Yeah. When you’ve been married as long as Charlie and I have, you learn a few things about how men and women deal with each other,” Lydia explained.
“Yes, that makes sense,” Tessa admitted.
“You said you ran away from home because no one was listening to you and you couldn’t live your life like you wanted to. You feel like Dean isn’t listening to you. He hears you, but he’s not really listening,” Lydia stated.
“Yes! That’s exactly it,” Tessa said. She felt relief that someone understood what she was feeling.
“Well, here’s your problem, Tessa. Men don’t listen like women do. Well, unless they’re Marcus. He pays attention. Always has. Anyway, there are certain times when men listen better than others and one of them is not when they’re angry. I love Dean like a brother, but the man has a temper and when he’s mad, it’s hard to reason with him sometimes. So that is not the time to try to talk to him,” Lydia explained.
“Yes. I have found that to be true,” Tessa agreed. “So when then?”
“Well, this is a little personal but I’m guessing that there’s not been a lot of physical contact going on,” Lydia said.
Tessa’s cheeks turned pink and she dropped her eyes. “No. There hasn’t.”
Lydia smiled. “That’s another thing that’ll change the longer you’re married. This subject isn’t nearly as embarrassing to talk about. I think it would be a good idea to do…that. Afterwards is the best time to talk to him. He’ll be in a better mood and more open to really hearing what you’re saying.”
Tessa put her hands over her face and said, “I can’t do that.”
Lydia laughed. “You’re as shy as he is. I’ve never seen a man like him who’s shy about this stuff.”
“I wouldn’t even know where to begin,” Tessa said.
Lydia made sure none of the kids were close to the open window in the kitchen and said softly, “Do you want him?”
“Oh, yes. Very much.”
“Then take what you want. I doubt you’ll get any complaints from him, Tessa,” Lydia said and winked at her.
Tessa laughed and Lydia changed the subject.
By mid-afternoon, Seth and Marcus had had enough of Dean’s rotten temper. Geoffrey had heard the three of them arguing and decided to steer clear of the situation. He sat on the front porch swing, reading a book Marcus had lent him and watching with high amusement as Dean bossed the other two around.
At one point, Geoffrey saw Marcus and Seth run over to his bunkhouse and go inside. Not long after, Dean walked from the barn, calling for his brothers. He went over to Seth’s bunkhouse and opened the door. Geoffrey thought that the brothers were caught, but Dean closed the door and walked away again. He had a hard time holding his laughter in.
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