Zodiac's toy, John Jones [nonfiction book recommendations .txt] 📗

the gun, coming to realisation and confusion.

"Ray, I hope you'll crack, you'll come to believe, and Lee, you can fuck-off you nutter". Then Victor slid the gun barrel into his mouth and pulled the trigger. The top of his head exploded in skull, blood, brain, splattering the wall behind, all within a split-second.

"Fuck!" shouted Lee, and Ray stepped back, his hands to his head. They could do nothing but stare at Victor.

"What are we goin..?" Lee said, but the curtain was pulled back and the nurse stood there, looking at the scene. Ray and Lee stared at her.

"So you put him out of his misery. Take your gun and leave," she said, looking at Lee, who gathered his bearings and took the weapon from Victor's hand and tucked it into his pocket. The nurse nodded to the exit.

"No-one heard the gunshot, so you can walk out. Don't worry about the cameras, or police. In five minutes two porters will come and take his body down to the morgue, and from there attendants will see to it that the body is disposed of. You will not be suspected or questioned".

"...but how..?" said Ray. Lee and Ray slowly did as she said, and with red, guilty faces they walked along the corridors and found their way out into the foyer, then made their way back home.

"I don't get it," said Lee, "why the fuck would I bring my gun? I don't remember picking it up".

"You said you were putting him out of his misery," Ray said.

"Did I? I don't remember saying that, and I didn't even know what was wrong with him. Vic was just in hospital and we went to visit. I don't get why I would bring my gun...fuck man, poor old Vic.."

"and that nurse," Ray said, "she saved us".

"Fuckin right she did. My ass wouldn't have got out the hospital. I'd be straight back in the nick".

"But how could she say the camera and police won't come after us? How can she organise that?" Ray asked.

Outside a row of shops along the pavement there were several decrepit benches. All of them were unoccupied.

"Hold on," said Lee, "I just need to sit down for a sec". They both sat, feeling as though they had been exercising.

"She couldn't organise the cameras and police surely," said Ray, "I mean how could she do that?"

"I don't know Ray, I don't know. I absent mindedly picked up my..." he looked around him and saw several shoppers within earshot, so he lowered his voice and leaned a little closer to Ray.

"I absent mindedly picked up my gun, maybe 'cos I was worried about him or because of my fucking probation officer then we gets to hospital and Vic sees the gun in my pocket and decides to shoot himself 'cos he's got all the cancers. Like what you said, I'm putting him out of his misery. Then he kills himself, and the nurse walks in and sees that it’s suicide and isn't surprised or nothing 'cos she's a nurse and probably sees stuff like that all the time, but knew it wasn't murder and she lets us go because of all the shit we would get from the police". Ray nodded in agreement.

"Yes," he said, "that's probably it". Lee made an exasperated gesture.

"What else could it be?" Ray agreed.

"Nothing. That's got to be it. Let's get back 'cos you've still got the gun". Lee nodded, and stood up. They continued home.

"Anyway, cheeky bastard called me a nutter didn't he before he shot himself?"

Lee complained about that the rest of the way home, and when he got to the top of the stairs went to his own flat.

"...I mean who does he think he is?" Ray entered his own place. Poor Vic, he thought, and went to make himself a cup of tea, and saw the pile of zodiac cards on the counter. As he waited for the kettle to boil, he spread them out and scanned through them.

He saw the Cancer card "Will victory be declared when the bullet is bitten?" Lee appeared over his shoulder.

"What's that?"

"Zodiac cards. Look at that. Will victory be declared when the bullet is bitten?"

"Oh, right, you don't believe in this shit do you?"

"No, no, but it's on the cancer card".

"Load of airy-fairy nonsense," Lee said, "Coincidence. Nothing more". Ray agreed.

"Yes, coincidence". Lee nodded to the kettle as it headed for boiling point.

"You makin' a cuppa? let's drink to the old cunt instead. Even though he did call me a nutter, he was our mate". Ray went across to the fridge and opened it to see it mostly taken up by bottles and cans of lager.

"Fuck, who’s going to clean the flats now?" Lee asked. "Grab one for crack-head and let's drink to Victor". When Ray closed the fridge with three cans in hand, his gaze lingered for a few seconds on the cards on the kitchen counter.

"Coincidence," he muttered, and left the flat.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter 24

 

As Mandy left the nursery and headed across the road to her car, she was getting her keys out of her pocket when a shadow fell over her and then hands grasped her waist.

"Guess who's back?" was said loudly down her ear. She struggled and turned and saw Carl standing there with a huge grin on his face.

"Carl," she muttered with no enthusiasm whatsoever, "what a surprise". With a brown stripy polo shirt and knee length shorts he wore in most weathers, and a short side-parted hairstyle, he stood with all the expectancy of someone who wanted to be greeted with warmth, as he had done plenty of times before, and he had got it as well, but over the years her affection for seeing him return had dampened, and now it was gone altogether.

"You left me remember," she said, opening the car door. "Now you just expect me to let you back in as if nothing’s happened".

"How's Ralph and Effie? I missed them". He walked around to the other car door.

"Don't even think about getting in the car," she said, "I've had it with you. Your mountaineering didn't work out then? I'm so shocked". He looked genuinely offended, as he always did when one of his pipe-dreams didn't work out and Mandy belittled him for it.

"I could have come back and got with another girl, but you know what? I chose you. I came back to you".

"I'm so honoured," she muttered.

"Didn't even get a hug," he said.

"Well maybe that's because I'm not with you anymore. I don't hug people who are not my boyfriend".

"Boyfriend? what are we teenagers? We're a couple. Come on we're a family".

"Yes, we we're a family until you broke it up,” she said, getting into the drivers seat and closing the door. Carl got into the passenger seat.

"Did I say you could get in the car?" She folded her arms, defiantly going nowhere.

"I'm not driving anywhere until you get out".

"Aww, come on, babes...don't make me go back to my Dad's".

"Well you're not coming back to mine, so if you're not going to leave this car, I'll walk home and call the police".

"No you won't. Come on, just let's go home".

"You're not coming back to my home, and I will call the police". She made a show of taking out her phone and holding it aloft, then lowering it.

"Come on I'm hungry. Let's stop off at the chippy". 'Do not be a doormat' came to mind, and she refrained from starting the engine.

"Nope," she said, "we're not together, and that's your fault".

"Babes come on," and he could see she meant it.

A heavy silence permeated the car.

"Out," she muttered, and Carl angrily opened the car door.

"Alright, fuckyer then. I'll just go and get another girl. One whose much better looking than you. One who isn't stupid. See ya fuckin' babe". He left the car and slammed the door, storming away.

Before he could get back in, as he very well just might and continue trying to wear her down, she drove away, and guessed that wasn't the last she had seen of him. He would badger away until she relented, and guessed he would come to the house and she would have to try and stop him coming in. That had happened several times before, where they would have a shouting match for all the neighbours to hear. Sometimes he stormed away, then came back, and they would have more curtains twitching, then if only to stop the embarrassment of being the subject of local gossip, which they sometimes were, she would let him in, and the arguments would continue, Carl using the children as weapons.

'I've got rights. I'll get custody of the kids...' even though he had little knowledge of the law, he just said whatever seemed to go in his favour, because he knew she didn't know much about parental rights either.

 

Later that night as she was watching a programme on castles, Effie came down the stairs and said:

"Dad's outside by the lamp-post again". A place across the road he had stood many times to look at the house. Mandy sighed, and Effie ran back upstairs.

Then came banging on the door, and the letter-box opened. Carl shouted through:

"Come on babes..." he shouted. "Let me in. I wanna see me kids". Mandy went and opened the door. Even with it being night-time there was enough light around to see he was red-faced and angry. He pointed an accusing finger at her.

"I wanna see me kids. You've got no right, now come on..." She stood back and opened the door wide. Carl was momentarily put out. He was expecting a slanging match, but the house beckoned, and he walked in, heading straight to the kitchen.

"The kids are upstairs," she shouted after him.

"I'm starving," he said.

That night, the light from the television was the only light in the living room, and it patterned over Carl and Mandy as they both sat on the sofa, Mandy with her head on his shoulder.

 

Carl took his place back again, and usually when he did he always liked to re-establish himself by working on the affection he knew she always had for him, so the following day he suggested going to a cafe, his expense. It was the kind of thing he always did when he returned. Mandy knew what he was doing, so it didn't matter where they went. It was Carl being Carl, nothing more.

So, on the outskirts of the town there was a nature reserve that bordered a small lake, part of which blended into marshland, attracting various rare wildlife and enthusiasts. Off the visitor centre there was a small cafe with outdoor seating, where Mandy and Carl sat. It was fairly sunny and there were a couple of people and children around. The other three tables were occupied.

"So are you going to look for work then?" she asked, sipping her black tea.

"Yes of course I am," Carl said, slouched in the seat and looking out across the marsh. She knew he would, he wasn't lazy, but just too much of a loose cannon to be able to stick with one thing, but she kind of hoped one of his aspirations came to fruition so that he would stick around. Everytime he came back, she convinced herself this time he was going to stay, be a father. Her conscience though, always told it like it was:

'He's a fucking loser and you just won't admit it. If you haven't got the strength to leave him, then you're stuck with him for life. This is your husband, a fucking yo-yo. Even if he puts a ring on your finger d'you think he won't run off with someone else the second he gets the sniff of a chance? Then it'll be worse with custody of the kids and the divorce. You'll be the talk of the town and people will point and whisper. There she is. Hasn't got the fucking balls to leave her loser 'husband'. Well maybe you're already there. A lot of people know what he's