From Between Worlds, Brendon Nutt [the top 100 crime novels of all time txt] 📗

he knew he had my focus. “Alright now, deep breath. In…” I tried to steady my breathing, taking in a slow breath as directed, “and out,” I breathed out, my heart calming and my muscles losing some tension.

 

“Turn on the lights please,” I replied tiredly, my mind spinning and unable to put together the pieces, exhausted by trying to make sense of what happened. I couldn’t grasp what had happened, but I knew I didn’t want to be in the dark anymore. He nodded and stood up to go and flick the light switch on the wall.

 

The yellow colored embrace of real world light surrounded me and I sighed in relief, my eyes closing as I leaned my head back against the wall, my limbs falling limp on the ground. I had been so tense for so long and now that it was over, I needed to let every ounce of it go and just let my body relax.

 

“Are you okay?” Brad asked again, taking a seat on the floor where he had started originally. I opened an eye to look at him and nodded.

 

“Yeah, I think.”

 

“You must have gone really deep this time, you stopped responding, it scared me,” he did look worried, but intrigued as well.

 

I sighed, “Yeah, this was deeper then I had ever gone before. I was there and I could not tell the difference between this reality,” I touched the sheet hung on the wall, “and wherever it was that I saw.”

 

“What did you see?” He asked with a sense of urgency, leaning forward out of excitement.

 

I took in a breath and explained to him what had happened. Every detail I could about how real it all felt, how connected it was to what felt like real memories. During the retelling of it all, I had moved to sit where I had started so he could re-trace the circle to “repair” the damage I had done in my panic to get away from him. When I got to the part about being sucked back into my childhood body and the sleep paralysis, he had leaned forward and rested his chin upon the knuckles of his clasped together hands, obviously very interested in what I had to say.

 

“Yes… that must have been when your eyes opened!” He said, a small laugh slipping out, his gaze unbroken from mine.

 

I tilted my head to the side, confused. “What do you mean my eyes opened?”

 

“Hmmm?” Ninja Brad hummed out, perking a brow and allowing his gaze to drift toward the ground as he thought about something, “Oh!” he perked up and grinned, “I said that out loud didn’t I? I apologize.”

 

I sighed and twirled my finger around in a circle, signaling for him to get on with it. He laughed in his typically cackling way.

 

“Aww, well, you see. Everything was going normal, I’d get responses from you when I called for them, at least at first. Then at the time of crossing over into your subconscious,”

 

“The door?”

 

“Yes, the door. You stopped responding, no answers, you had even stopped moving. I couldn’t tell if you were breathing. It was worrisome to say the least. I had seen some people go deep, but nobody like you,” he laughed again, this shit really did excite him. In this sort of situation though, his bedside manner could use a lot of work, “I even tried to shake you out of it, but I couldn’t get through. I didn’t know what to do, so I settled down close and watched. Suddenly your eyes opened,” he pantomimed my eyes shooting open with his hands, “you stared directly at me, but still didn’t respond. Your eyes moved back and forth in a panic as if searching, but your body didn’t move.”

 

“Holy… fuck.” I didn’t understand what that meant, but nothing about it seemed normal, “holy fuck, Brad. What in the mother fucking hell happened to me?”

 

“You went back! You crossed over! All at once, Jonathan. I mean, I may meditate and see that I’m traveling, maybe see shades of the world, but you… you experience so, so much more!” He was way too excited about this.

 

“Okay, calm the fuck down. That isn’t what happened.”

 

“How else can you define what you are describing?”

 

“I don’t fucking know,” I paused, thinking, trying to tap that logical side of my brain. The old friend that could pull out theories based in god damned reality, “suggestion, like hypnosis. The mind is able to play on ideas and when under a hypnotic state, it may project a realistic version of reality based on the hosts experiences and the therapists suggestions. That’s what these are, right?”

 

He looked baffled by my explanation.

 

“Okay, so look,” I readjusted the way I sat to be on my knees and able to lean forward and better talk with my hands as I typically did when speaking, “we have been digging into these sessions trying to unlock forgotten pieces of my childhood, this meditative practice of yours is an instructed diveinto the mind. It requires focus, calming, repetitive phrasing to hook onto. It is like hypnotism. Some people are more susceptible than others, sure. Obviously, I am and well, my mind was on tonight's haunting hunt with the group. So, mix that with my want to dive back to my forgotten childhood, and I got a mixture of both. I went back to an old home of mine, a home that my Mom always talked about being haunted and I saw the ghosts she claimed lived there. That’s got to be it!”

 

Brad looked disappointed.

 

“I didn’t cross over or anything like that, I dug up something in my past I hadn’t thought about in a long time, which I thank you for. That was the purpose of this, “ I tried to save it, at least a little.

 

Brad nodded and stood up, “I appreciate your ability to dig at an explanation. I fear that is why so much of you is locked away,” he offered me a hand, which I accepted.

 

“I can’t just readily accept the unexplainable with reckless abandon, that’s irresponsible,” I was jerked onto me feet, proving yet again that this skinny looking guy was actually quite strong.

 

“As long as you don’t stop trying to explore the unexplainable, you’ll see what I see.”

 

“I hope so, would sure as hell beat the day to day grind of work, sleep, more work, masturbation, sleep.”

 

“Could get a girlfriend.”

 

“Fuck you.”

 

“I’m already spoken for.”

 

Brad was learning! We were influencing him! I’m pretty sure that was a bad thing. We laughed and nodded to each other.

 

“Next week?” He asked, wondering if I would be returning for another session. The idea of it didn’t exactly sound comforting. Despite my trying to explain what happened, there was something in the pit of my stomach telling me every word I said was full of shit and next time will take me even deeper. Then again, that was kind of exciting, wasn’t it?

 

“Yeah,” I nodded confidently, “next week.”

Imprint

Publication Date: 09-23-2018

All Rights Reserved

Dedication:
To all my wonderful artistic friends who have put up with my various start and stops over the years. You encouraged me to keep on going and keep on creating, that I was worth of creating something.