Practical Principles of Natural Reality - Practica Principia Naturalis Veritatem, Judy Colella [learn to read books .TXT] 📗

You sure about that, Mr. Newton? Ever have sex? What’s this “opposite in direction” nonsense? Wait. Hmm. Isaac Newton…eighteenth-century nerd in a bad wig with daddy issues…wow.

Another thing, Isaac – ever see roadkill? Those poor critters didn’t just get pressed down, they went in all directions at once! Explain that one, fella! And then there’s the might of the legal justice system.

So:

Judy’s Third Law: When one body exerts a force on a second body, the first body usually gets arrested or punched because the second body simultaneously exerts its rights, causing the first body to end up pretty much in a place opposite to what might have been planned.

As you may have anticipated, there’s a sub-section to this one, too.

Judy’s Third Law, Sub-Section A: If one body exerts too much force on a second body, the second body generally goes “splat.” Period.

Well, there you have it. A far more realistic look at the laws of nature. But what are those practical principles, you ask? Here you go:

For Judy’s First Law, the principle is a simple one: Don’t have any expectations that things will go as planned, and try not to drop things.

For Judy’s Second Law, the principle simple, but also rather obvious: Don’t be a dweeb.

For Judy’s Third Law, the principle is one we should all exercise – keep your hands to yourself, and unless you don’t want something around anymore, don’t stomp on it, run it over, or hit it with a lead fly-swatter.

And there you have it. Sorry, you Isaac Newton fans – reality is here to stay. Try a Fig Newton instead. If you don’t like it, you can always apply Judy’s Third Law, Sub-Section A.

Text: Judy Colella
Images: "Birds With Arms"
Publication Date: 05-20-2013

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