Samantha at the World's Fair, Marietta Holley [most life changing books txt] 📗
- Author: Marietta Holley
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[Pg 464]
Why, if you'll believe it—and I d'no as I would blame you if you wouldn't, it bein' a fish story, as it were—but we did see some fish-hooks from Pompeii that had been buried 2000 years, and come out fish-hooks after all—a good deal like them Josiah uses in Jonesville creek.
And speakin' of old things, we see some fishes that day—the oldest in the world; they come from Colorado—dug out of the rocks of ages ago; they wuz covered with bone instead of scales, which showed that they had had a pretty hard time on't.
They wuz covered with bone instead of scales.
And then there wuz a big collection of nets made by the Indians from seal sinew, seal-skin braided, roots of willow tree, and whalebone.
Of these last it took four men three weeks to make one, and two of these wuz gin in exchange for a jug of molasses to make rum with.
A shame and a disgrace! No savage would have cheated so—no, it takes a white man to do that.
And we see artificial flies so nateral that a spider would go to weavin' a net to catch it.
And artificial grasshoppers, and crickets, and frogs, and little artificial minney fish made of metal, glas[Pg 465]s, pearl, and rubber. Why, if I had seen one of 'em in the brook that runs through our paster, I should have been tempted to have bent a pin, and take some weltin' cord out of my pocket and go to fishin' for it.
And if they fooled me, who am often called very wise, what would you think of their foolin' a fish, who hain't got any bump of wisdom on their heads?
And then there wuz trollin' spoons of all kinds and shapes, in all kinds of metal, and trollin' squids—I'd never hearn of that name before—squid! but they had 'em of all kinds; and tackle boxes, and floats, and landin' nets, and gaff hooks; there is sunthin' else I never hearn on—gaff hooks! and snells, and gimps, and spinners.
Why, I'd never hearn on 'em, and Josiah hadn't either, though he acted dretful knowin', and put on a face of extreme enjoyment and appreciation. And he sez, "How a man duz enjoy seein' such things that he's ust to and knows all about!"
And I sez, "What do you do with squids, anyway, or gaffs, or snells?"
[Pg 466]
"Why," sez he, "I should snell with 'em, and gaff, and squid. What do you spoze?"
"How do you do it?" sez I. "How do you snell?"
And then he had to own up that he didn't know how it wuz done.
Truly it has been said that three questions will floor the biggest philosopher. But it only took two to take the pride and vainglory out of Josiah Allen.
Wall, the information gathered together here from all parts of the world, and disseminated out to individuals of the collected world, will probable make a great difference in the enjoyment and practical benefit of the fisherman, and tell hard on the fishes of 1894.
Wall, we stayed round here a-lookin' at 'em different buildin's till dark, and then we didn't see a thousandth nor a millionth part of what wuz to be seen there.
And I hain't half described its wonders and glories as I'd ort to, and one reason is, nobody can describe any of the buildin's—no, not if they had the tongue of men and angels.
No, they are too stupendous to describe.
And then, agin, I have had a kind of a feelin' of delicacy that has kind of held me back—I have been hampered.
[Pg 467]
For I have kep such a tight grip holt of my principle all the while I've been describin' it, that it has weakened the grasp of my good right hand on my steel pen.
I knew well how hard, how almost impossible it wuz to talk about fishin' for any length of time without lyin'.
But I know I have told Josiah time and agin that it wuz possible to do it, if you kep a firm holt of the hellum, and leaned heavy on principle.
I have done it, and I am proud and happy in the thought.
Unless, mebby, I have lied the other way. Good land! I didn't think of that; I wuz so determined to keep within bounds, that I am actually afraid that I've lied that way; in order not to tell the fish story too big, I hain't told it big enough.
Good land! I guess I won't boast any more.
Wall, seein' that I am in sunthin' of a hurry, I will let it go, and mebby if I should go over it agin I should lie the other way.
Good land! good land! what a world this is, and with all your care and watchfulness, how hard it is to keep walkin' right along, in Injun file, along the narrer rope walk of megumness and exact truth.
But I am a-eppisodin', and to resoom.
[Pg 468]
Wall, as I said, we didn't git home till pitch dark, and then I drempt of fish all night, and eels, and alligators, and such. It wuz tegus.
I drempt of fish all night.
The next mornin' Josiah Allen met me all riz up with a new idee.
He had been out to buy a new pair of suspenders, his havin' gin out the day before; and he come to our room, where I wuz calmly settin' a-bastin' in some clean cotton lace into the sleeves of my alpaca dress.
And sez he right out abrup, with no preamble, "Samantha, less go down to the Fair Ground in a whale."
"In a whale?" sez I; "are you a loonatick, or what duz ail you, to try to make a pair of Jonahses of us at our age?"
"Wall," sez he, "they have 'em here to carry folks down to the Fair, I know, for I hearn it straight, and I should think we wuz jest the right age to go as easy as possible, and try experiments."
"Wall," sez I firmly, "I hain't a-goin' to try no such experiment as that. If the Lord called me to tackle a whale, I would tackle it, but I hain't had no callin', and I hain't goin' to try to ride out in no whale."
"I'm a-callin' you," sez he.
[Pg 469]
"Wall," sez I dryly, "you hain't the Deity—no, indeed, fur from it."
"Wall," sez he, "I'd love to go, Samantha. What a glorious piece of news to carry back to Jonesville, that we rid out in a whale. In the old Jonesville meetin'-house now, when Elder Minkley is a-preachin' on Jonah—and you know he trots him out a dozen times a year as a warnin'—how you and I could lift up our heads and tost 'em, and how the necks of the Jonesvillians would be craned round to look at us—we two, who had rid out in a whale—we had been right there, and knew how it wuz."
"I don't want to show off," sez I, "and I don't want any necks craned or tosted on account of my gettin' into a whale and ridin' it;" and then I sez, "Good land! what won't Chicago do next?"
And I added, "It don't surprise me a mite; it hain't no more of a wonder than lots of things I have seen here. I might a known if Chicago had sot its mind on havin' a whale to transport folks to the World's Fair she'd a done it, but I won't tackle the job."
"There it is," sez he gloomily, "I never make arrangements to distinguish myself and make a name, but you must break it up. I had lotted on this, Samantha," sez he.
[Pg 470]
He looked sad and deprested, and though I was bound not to give in and go, yet I made some inquiries.
"How many does the whale carry? What makes you think we could both git into it?"
Sez Josiah, "It carries 5000 at a time."
I felt weak as a cat, jest as I had felt time and agin sence I had come to Chicago.
"Wall," sez I in weak axents, and dumbfoundered, "any whale story I could hear about Chicago wouldn't surprise me a mite."
And I wiped my brow on my white linen handkerchief, for though the idee didn't surprise me none, it started the sweat.
Sez Josiah, "It is 225 feet long, and has a fountain in it, and a skylight 138 feet long."
But jest at that minute, before I could frame a reply, even if I could have found a frame queer-shaped enough to hold my curious—curious feelin's—
Miss Plank knocked at the door and said she wuz ready to go—we had made arrangements to go together that mornin'—and Josiah tackled her about the whale; and sez she briskly—
"Oh, yes; the whaleback Christopher Columbus! It would be a good idee to go to the grounds in it; you can go down in it in half an hour—it is only seven or eight milds."
So we fell in with her idee; and bein' ust to the place, she took the lead, a[Pg 471]nd also the street cars, and we soon found ourselves on board the biggest floatin' ship I ever laid eyes on. And I couldn't see as it looked much like a whale, unless it wuz that it wuz long, and kinder pinted, and turned up at both ends, some the shape of a whale.
Wall, I guess the hull five thousand folks wuz on board, and had brung their relations on both sides. It looked like it, and we steamed along by the shore for quite a spell, the city a-layin' in plain view for mild after mild—or that is, in as plain view as it could be under its envelopin' curtain of smoke.
But bimeby the smoke all cleared away, the air wuz clear and pure, and the lake lay fair and placid fur off as we could see. It might a been the ocean, for all we could tell, for you can't see no further than you can, anyway, and you can't see no further than that on the Atlantic or the Pacific.
Way beyend what you can't see might stretch thousands and thousands of milds and a new continent; or it might be a loggin' camp, or Kalamazoo. It don't make no difference to your feelin's, it has all the illimitable expanse, the vastness of the great ocean.
So it wuz with the outlook on the flashin' blue waters on that magic mornin'.
And pretty soon the White City riz up like a city of bewilderin' beauty and enchant[Pg 472]ment, with the sun a-lookin' down from a blue sky, and lightin' up the tall, white walls, and gilded domes, and towers, and minarets. And as we floated along by Jackson Park, and could git a plain view of the perfect buildin's—the lagoons with fairy boats a-skimmin' over the sparklin' surface—in fact, in plain view of the hull vast, bewilderin' seen of matchless splendor—why, I declare I felt almost as if I wuz took back clear into the Arabian Nights Entertainments, and magic seens wuz bein' unfolded before my enraptured vision.
Why, I almost felt that my Josiah wuz a genii, and Miss Plank a geniess. I wouldn't a wondered a mite any minute if a carpet had dropped down for us to git onto, and we floated off into Bagdad. I felt queer—extremely.
But Bagdad nor no other Dad wuz ever so enchantin'ly lovely as the seen outspread before our eyes. As surpassin'ly beautiful as the Exposition is from every side, hind side and fore side, and from top to bottom, it is, I do believe, most radiantly lovely from the water approach.
You needn't be a mite afraid of gittin' your idees too riz up about the onspeakable beauty of the seen. No matter if they wuz riz up higher than you ever drempt of rizin' 'em up, instead of fallin', they will, so to speak, find themselves on [Pg 473]the ground floor—in the suller, as you may say—so fur up beyend your highest imagination is the reality of that wonderful White City of the West—
Magic city that has sprung up there amidst the blue waters and green forests like a dream of enchantment, a hymn of glory, with not one false, harsh note in it to mar the glory and
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