Death in the Family, Carolyn Smith [free ebook reader for iphone TXT] 📗
- Author: Carolyn Smith
Book online «Death in the Family, Carolyn Smith [free ebook reader for iphone TXT] 📗». Author Carolyn Smith
God not Mum! What does that mean? Was I hoping it would be Karl? No. Karl and I have our differences, but I wouldn’t wish him dead. There was only one member of my family whose death would not be a tragedy. Dare I let myself believe that it could be? I had to know who it was. It was now with a deep rooted urgency that I threw my things into my school bag and ran out of the classroom, my footsteps echoing behind me through the empty corridors.
When I reached the school reception desk I could see Dad sat on a chair in the waiting area. He looked disheveled and had his head in his hands. This is bad, I thought, bracing myself for the news which would change my life forever in one form or another. Dad didn’t look up until I sat down next to him. He took my hand but didn’t look directly at me. I could still see thought that his eyes were red from crying and he looked very pale.
“Dad?” I asked tentatively. I needed to know who it was.
“Hi Son. Did they…what did they…?” Dad was having real trouble getting his words out. He had to try and gulp back tears. I actually felt sorry for him.
“They didn’t say anything Dad. What’s going on?”
“It’s…It’s…Nana Wilkins.” He couldn’t speak after that. His shoulders heaved as he sobbed. Tears escaped from the corners of his eyes and rolled down his cheeks in a torrent of sadness. I didn’t know what to do really. I had never seen him like that before and I didn’t like it. I knew I would always be able to read his emotion from his face, but he had never been so…raw. I put my arm around his shoulder and we just sat there like that for what seemed an age, until he was able to compose himself. Neither of us even noticed Karl arrive and sit on the other side of Dad also offering a consoling arm. Neither Karl nor I cried. I was secretly overjoyed. This is what I had wanted and I hadn’t been the culprit. She had died of some other unfortunate event. I was desperate to know how it had happened, but with Dad in his current state I didn’t think it was a good time.
Once Dad had stopped crying Karl and I walked him out to the car. I was just wondering whether he would be ok to drive us safely when I noticed Mum sitting in the driving seat. I was more than a little relieved.
Once we were all safely in the car and belted in I let Mum do all the talking. Nana had not been looking after herself properly, she had been living off extremely fatty and greasy foods all day, every day since Granddad’s death. She had always had a heart condition ever since her teens and it needed to be closely monitored by doctors. However it turns out that in the last year Nana had purposefully skipped her appointments, she had also not been taking her medication. Her arteries had been clogging up with cholesterol and transient fats for the last five years, despite desperate attempts by Mum and Dad to make her see sense. In the end it had all become too much for her heart and she had suffered a heart attack this morning. She had died before she reached the hospital.
“Basically she committed suicide,” Mum finished. Dad was once again racked with heartfelt sobs. I didn’t know what to say so I said nothing. Neither did Karl.
“You won’t be going back to school until after the funeral,” she said. “But right now we’re going to the hospital so we can all say goodbye to her.”
And so, there I was standing at her bedside, holding her hand with Dad holding on to me. I realize now that he wasn’t giving me comfort, I was there to comfort him. Although how much comfort I could actually be when I was so thrilled I was not sure, but I stood there and let him rest his hand on my shoulder. I did my very best to pretend to be sad and moved by her passing, but the only thing on my mind at all, was her will and the money. When would we receive that? When would it be the reading of the will? Now that she was gone, how long would we have to wait?
I tried to avoid Dad at home. He blood shot eyes, disheveled hair and stubble strewn chin were most unbecoming. He didn’t even bother to get dressed most days, let alone have a shower. Mum thought that I was too distraught to be around people and let me stay up in my room most of the time. I don’t know what Karl was up to most of the time but I didn’t see much of him. I have to admit, Mum was doing a great job of keeping the family together and getting things done. She had organized Nana’s funeral for the following Friday, which was only four days after Nana had died. I was grateful for that because I was sure that the will wouldn’t be read before the funeral.
It was weighing in my mind so much that I ended up going online and typing it in to Google. I had been determined not to leave any evidence at all on my computer after the list incident, but I needed to know and I couldn’t ask my parents. I read the answer on Wikipedia and I have to admit I was quite deflated. It could easily take up to two months. I turned the computer off and threw myself on the bed in frustration. Mum entered my room with a cup of tea and put it on my bedside table.
I had completely gone off tea. I haven’t touched a drop since Nana’s house, even to this day now that I am well in to my twenties. Is this a confession of guilt? I doubt it. I do feel bad for putting Nana through all of that and for hating her so much, even though she hated herself even more. I have often wondered since my thirteenth year whether she did what she did because she was lonely, did she miss Granddad so completely that life wasn’t worth living without him or did she know that by killing herself she could save us? These are questions that we will never know the answers to, but I like to think that she did it to save Dad. He obviously loved her so entirely and was very protective of her. I don’t think she meant to hurt him the way she did, but he will never completely get over her death and the way it happened so quickly. He couldn’t say goodbye and tell her all those things he wanted her to know and for that he will never forgive her.
*** *** *** *** ***
Two months passed relatively quickly what with the funeral and the constant stream of well wishers at our door. Karl and I returned to school after the funeral as Mum had promised we would. The bullies left me alone for a while. It was good of them to give me a mourning period of three weeks before they once again started their vendetta against me. Although I wasn’t exactly mourning myself, I’ll always be grateful for the breathing space.
Then one day, unexpectedly I got home from school and Mum and Dad were both dressed very smartly. They were sitting at the kitchen table and holding an official looking document. I knew what it was at once. I’d seen it before, hidden in a tin at the back of Nana’s closet, behind Granddad’s jackets and boots and next to his rifle. I dropped my school bag on the floor, no longer able to contain my extreme excitement. I sat myself in front of them and looked at them eagerly.
“We’ve had some really good news James,” said Dad. He was smiling for the first time in weeks. I knew what the good news was, but I couldn’t let on.
“Oh?” I said my eyes sparkling with pound signs as I sat there waiting for the cheque.
“Nana has left us all some money.” He paused. He was playing this game with me on purpose.
“Really?” I said, “how much?” I was trying so hard to keep my voice flat and toneless. I don’t know how successful I was being.
“Well, that’s the good part. Mum and I have got 40,000 pounds, which will come in so useful. We want to redecorate the house.”
See! I was right! Money is completely wasted on adults. Redecorate the house? I can’t think of anything worse. What a waste of time, effort and brilliant money.
“Oh,” I said noncommittally, “that’s nice.” It bloody well wasn’t nice. It was stupid.
“You and Karl have also been left some money,” he continued. YES, YES, YES! This was the moment I had been waiting for for so long. I smiled then. I couldn’t have stopped I if I’d tried.
“Oh, but don’t get your hopes up. You’ve got 10,000 pounds each, but you won’t be able to get it until you are 21 years old. Unless of course something terrible happens to me and your Mum.” He laughed.
I couldn’t believe it.
“Are you serious?”
Dad just nodded his head with a stupid grin on his face. After all I had been through. After everything I had done. I had almost committed murder for this money and now, NOW, I find out I won’t be able to touch it until I’m 21. What kind of ridiculous law is that? My heart felt like it had plummeted into my stomach. I felt sick with rage. My blood was physically boiling inside my body and my temple began to throb with pain. Fury was emanating from every pore in my body.
“I can’t touch it until I’m 21,” I repeated, my voice low and dangerous.
“Sorry Son.” Dad laughed again and Mum joined in. It was beyond cruelty. I was looking at them both very differently now.
“Unless…” Suddenly the fury abated and I was left feeling calm and serene. The cogs of my rusty old imagination began to turn and as I sat there watching my parents laugh with happiness at the prospect of all their money and the joke which was on me, I saw it dance in front of my eyes. It was very clever and no one would suspect a thing.
Plan D.
“Death in the family,” I thought “It really is such a tragedy. They’ll never know what hit them,” I thought.
When I reached the school reception desk I could see Dad sat on a chair in the waiting area. He looked disheveled and had his head in his hands. This is bad, I thought, bracing myself for the news which would change my life forever in one form or another. Dad didn’t look up until I sat down next to him. He took my hand but didn’t look directly at me. I could still see thought that his eyes were red from crying and he looked very pale.
“Dad?” I asked tentatively. I needed to know who it was.
“Hi Son. Did they…what did they…?” Dad was having real trouble getting his words out. He had to try and gulp back tears. I actually felt sorry for him.
“They didn’t say anything Dad. What’s going on?”
“It’s…It’s…Nana Wilkins.” He couldn’t speak after that. His shoulders heaved as he sobbed. Tears escaped from the corners of his eyes and rolled down his cheeks in a torrent of sadness. I didn’t know what to do really. I had never seen him like that before and I didn’t like it. I knew I would always be able to read his emotion from his face, but he had never been so…raw. I put my arm around his shoulder and we just sat there like that for what seemed an age, until he was able to compose himself. Neither of us even noticed Karl arrive and sit on the other side of Dad also offering a consoling arm. Neither Karl nor I cried. I was secretly overjoyed. This is what I had wanted and I hadn’t been the culprit. She had died of some other unfortunate event. I was desperate to know how it had happened, but with Dad in his current state I didn’t think it was a good time.
Once Dad had stopped crying Karl and I walked him out to the car. I was just wondering whether he would be ok to drive us safely when I noticed Mum sitting in the driving seat. I was more than a little relieved.
Once we were all safely in the car and belted in I let Mum do all the talking. Nana had not been looking after herself properly, she had been living off extremely fatty and greasy foods all day, every day since Granddad’s death. She had always had a heart condition ever since her teens and it needed to be closely monitored by doctors. However it turns out that in the last year Nana had purposefully skipped her appointments, she had also not been taking her medication. Her arteries had been clogging up with cholesterol and transient fats for the last five years, despite desperate attempts by Mum and Dad to make her see sense. In the end it had all become too much for her heart and she had suffered a heart attack this morning. She had died before she reached the hospital.
“Basically she committed suicide,” Mum finished. Dad was once again racked with heartfelt sobs. I didn’t know what to say so I said nothing. Neither did Karl.
“You won’t be going back to school until after the funeral,” she said. “But right now we’re going to the hospital so we can all say goodbye to her.”
And so, there I was standing at her bedside, holding her hand with Dad holding on to me. I realize now that he wasn’t giving me comfort, I was there to comfort him. Although how much comfort I could actually be when I was so thrilled I was not sure, but I stood there and let him rest his hand on my shoulder. I did my very best to pretend to be sad and moved by her passing, but the only thing on my mind at all, was her will and the money. When would we receive that? When would it be the reading of the will? Now that she was gone, how long would we have to wait?
I tried to avoid Dad at home. He blood shot eyes, disheveled hair and stubble strewn chin were most unbecoming. He didn’t even bother to get dressed most days, let alone have a shower. Mum thought that I was too distraught to be around people and let me stay up in my room most of the time. I don’t know what Karl was up to most of the time but I didn’t see much of him. I have to admit, Mum was doing a great job of keeping the family together and getting things done. She had organized Nana’s funeral for the following Friday, which was only four days after Nana had died. I was grateful for that because I was sure that the will wouldn’t be read before the funeral.
It was weighing in my mind so much that I ended up going online and typing it in to Google. I had been determined not to leave any evidence at all on my computer after the list incident, but I needed to know and I couldn’t ask my parents. I read the answer on Wikipedia and I have to admit I was quite deflated. It could easily take up to two months. I turned the computer off and threw myself on the bed in frustration. Mum entered my room with a cup of tea and put it on my bedside table.
I had completely gone off tea. I haven’t touched a drop since Nana’s house, even to this day now that I am well in to my twenties. Is this a confession of guilt? I doubt it. I do feel bad for putting Nana through all of that and for hating her so much, even though she hated herself even more. I have often wondered since my thirteenth year whether she did what she did because she was lonely, did she miss Granddad so completely that life wasn’t worth living without him or did she know that by killing herself she could save us? These are questions that we will never know the answers to, but I like to think that she did it to save Dad. He obviously loved her so entirely and was very protective of her. I don’t think she meant to hurt him the way she did, but he will never completely get over her death and the way it happened so quickly. He couldn’t say goodbye and tell her all those things he wanted her to know and for that he will never forgive her.
*** *** *** *** ***
Two months passed relatively quickly what with the funeral and the constant stream of well wishers at our door. Karl and I returned to school after the funeral as Mum had promised we would. The bullies left me alone for a while. It was good of them to give me a mourning period of three weeks before they once again started their vendetta against me. Although I wasn’t exactly mourning myself, I’ll always be grateful for the breathing space.
Then one day, unexpectedly I got home from school and Mum and Dad were both dressed very smartly. They were sitting at the kitchen table and holding an official looking document. I knew what it was at once. I’d seen it before, hidden in a tin at the back of Nana’s closet, behind Granddad’s jackets and boots and next to his rifle. I dropped my school bag on the floor, no longer able to contain my extreme excitement. I sat myself in front of them and looked at them eagerly.
“We’ve had some really good news James,” said Dad. He was smiling for the first time in weeks. I knew what the good news was, but I couldn’t let on.
“Oh?” I said my eyes sparkling with pound signs as I sat there waiting for the cheque.
“Nana has left us all some money.” He paused. He was playing this game with me on purpose.
“Really?” I said, “how much?” I was trying so hard to keep my voice flat and toneless. I don’t know how successful I was being.
“Well, that’s the good part. Mum and I have got 40,000 pounds, which will come in so useful. We want to redecorate the house.”
See! I was right! Money is completely wasted on adults. Redecorate the house? I can’t think of anything worse. What a waste of time, effort and brilliant money.
“Oh,” I said noncommittally, “that’s nice.” It bloody well wasn’t nice. It was stupid.
“You and Karl have also been left some money,” he continued. YES, YES, YES! This was the moment I had been waiting for for so long. I smiled then. I couldn’t have stopped I if I’d tried.
“Oh, but don’t get your hopes up. You’ve got 10,000 pounds each, but you won’t be able to get it until you are 21 years old. Unless of course something terrible happens to me and your Mum.” He laughed.
I couldn’t believe it.
“Are you serious?”
Dad just nodded his head with a stupid grin on his face. After all I had been through. After everything I had done. I had almost committed murder for this money and now, NOW, I find out I won’t be able to touch it until I’m 21. What kind of ridiculous law is that? My heart felt like it had plummeted into my stomach. I felt sick with rage. My blood was physically boiling inside my body and my temple began to throb with pain. Fury was emanating from every pore in my body.
“I can’t touch it until I’m 21,” I repeated, my voice low and dangerous.
“Sorry Son.” Dad laughed again and Mum joined in. It was beyond cruelty. I was looking at them both very differently now.
“Unless…” Suddenly the fury abated and I was left feeling calm and serene. The cogs of my rusty old imagination began to turn and as I sat there watching my parents laugh with happiness at the prospect of all their money and the joke which was on me, I saw it dance in front of my eyes. It was very clever and no one would suspect a thing.
Plan D.
“Death in the family,” I thought “It really is such a tragedy. They’ll never know what hit them,” I thought.
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