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come you ain’t tell me you were with them yesterday?”
“I did tell you. I said that I was with friends. I just wasn’t specific on which friends I was with.”
“Look, I don’t like the fact that you hang out with people, and then fell like you have to lie to me about it. That makes me think that you’re doing something that could hurt our relationship.”
“I think I should be going,” Kamal says seeing how much trouble he caused.
“Bye. And Antoine I ain’t lie to you. You didn’t ask me to be specific so I didn’t volunteer the names.” Tamika said starting to get aggravated. Just as Antoine started saying something else, her phone started vibrating.
“Sorry bout what happened. Hope I ain’t mess stuff up to much. We still on for Saturday?” read the text from Kamal.
“You ain’t do nothing but bring some things to light. Yeah we’re still going. I’ll call you later,” she texted back.
“Tamika, are you listening to me?” Antoine says bringing her back to reality.
“No, not really. You ready to go?”
“Yeah, I guess so. I have one more question.”
“What is your question?”
“Would you every cheat on me, or would you just break up with me? And please answer truthfully.”
“Neither. But, if I had to choose I would break up with you.”
2/5/08
Dear Diary,
Today was a long and hectic day. First, at school, Joseph went off on Kammie ‘cause she gave him AIDS. And Kammie lost her baby. I actually felt sorry for her. Then after she finally stopped crying, she apologized for all that she did to Antoine and to me. Believe it or not, she said she was jealous of me. Now, that part of my day was good, compared to the rest of it.
To start off with, Ja’Mya hooked up with Jamal. Then when I went to pick up Antoine from practice, Kamal was there. Not only was he there but he told Antoine about our day at the park. Well he ain’t say it was me at first. It wasn’t until I got there that he said he was with me and Ja’Mya. When he said that, Antoine got so mad, but I don’t really care ‘cause I can be friends with whoever I please. I’m probably gonna break up with him tomorrow anyway cause he’s starting to get really aggravating. But back to the happy things, me and Kamal are going to the movies Saturday. And then Valentine’s Day is next week too. I wonder which one is going to be my date to the sweetheart ball?
♥ Tamika


“You know that no matter what you decide, I’m still gonna be your friend. Do whatever makes you happy,” Ja’Mya says after Tamika told her how confused she was.
“I asked you what you think I should do. Now answer the question this time without going around the world and back.”
“You already know what I think you should do. Break up with Antoine today and hook up with Kamal tomorrow.”
“I was gonna do that anyway, I just wanted to know what you think. After the game tonight, I’m gonna do it. Do you think you can give me a ride home?”
“I’m riding with Jamal, but I’m sure that Kamal wouldn’t mind giving you a ride. We’re going out to eat after the game to celebrate though, so if you have to be home earlier than one you shouldn’t come.”
“Ja’Mya I’m eighteen, and have been eighteen for four months. I come home whenever I want.”
“You won’t be saying that when your momma kick you out, but I have to go. Are you going to lunch with me and the twins today or what?”
“Yeah I’m going. See you then.”
The morning was slow and uneventful. In all of Tamika’s morning classes, she was wishing that the day could just be over with. She knew that she had to break up with Antoine, but she didn’t know how. She couldn’t believe that she almost killed herself for a four month relationship.
At the beginning of the school year, Tamika decided that it was time to tell Antoine that she loved him. They have always been friends, but she wanted something more. When she finally told him, to her surprise he loved her too. But, when he broke up with Kammie, things didn’t go so well. Kammie went back and told Tamika that Antoine was only with her to when a bet and when they broke up it was all an act. After that Tamika went into a deep depression and tried to commit suicide all because she couldn’t be with Antoine. Now, she’s about to break up with him after all that happened.
When the bell rung for lunch, Tamika went straight to Ja’Mya’s locker so that they could leave. She wanted to avoid Antoine for as long as possible.
“You’re doing what makes you happy, so don’t worry bout what Antoine thinks. If he truly loves you then he should want you to be happy,” Ja’Mya told her friend as they walked to Jamal’s car.
“I know, but I can’t help but think would he do this to me.”
“Tamika, listen. You’re in high school and you have the rest of your life ahead of you. Are you married or about to get married to Antoine? No, you’re not so live your life to the fullest.”
“Hey, Tamika, are you ready to go eat?” Kamal asked surprised that she actually came.
“Yeah. Come on, I’m hungry.”


The four of them went to eat at McDonalds. Kamal and Tamika set in a booth by themselves so that they can talk. While Tamika was eating, Kamal kept staring at her and laughing.
“What’s so funny?” Tamika asked him after she swallowed what was in her mouth.
“I’m sorry, but I’ve never seen a girl your size eat as much as you. But it’s good to know that you have an appetite.”
“Skinny girls got to eat too. In the ATL everybody eats no matter your size. Where were you from?”
“I moved from New York. Up there the more you ate and the bigger you were, the less people liked you. I can tell that it’s the exact opposite down here. I heard somebody say the motto was, ‘The thicka the betta.’” Kamal said with a smile.
The two of them spent the next thirty minutes talking and laughing. While they were talking, Antoine texted Tamika twice, but she never stopped to check it.
“So what time do you want to go to the movies tomorrow? I have something to do until three, so any time after that is fine with me.” Kamal said trying to be as vague with his personal details as possible.
“I have an appointment with my psychologist at two, so any time after three-thirty is good.”
“So how about I pick you up at five and we can make it a night out? Do you like Chinese food?”
“Yeah. So five it is.”
The rest of the day went by fast despite Tamika’s attempts to slow it down. She felt like the world was against her. A couple of hours ago, she was happy, and now she’s getting ready to break up with her boyfriend. As she was getting ready for the game, she was thinking of ways to tell him. On her way to the game, she decided to just text his phone during the game and he’ll read it when it was over. This way she won’t have to tell him anything and she want have to see the look on his face.
“Tamika, are you okay? You’ve been quite ever since I picked you up,” Antoine asked with concern in his voice. When he asked her that in that voice, Tamika started wondering if she was about to do the right thing.
“Yeah, I’m fine. I’m just thinking bout a lot of stuff. You don’t need to worry about me; you have a game to win.”


At the game, Tamika kept zoning out. If she didn’t know any better, she would’ve thought that she was high.
“Ja’Mya, did you see that purple monkey dunk the ball?”
“Mika, what have you been smoking? There aren’t any purple monkeys on the court. None except for Big Black, but he don’t dunk ‘cause he know he’ll break the goal.”
“I haven’t been smoking. I guess I’m so nervous, that I’m hallucinating. But I swear I say a purple monkey. Do you see Kamal over there with that creepy man?”
“I swear, you’re losing you mind. There’s nobody over there but people from the other school .Kamal is in the locker room.”
“No he’s not. He’s right there talking to that big guy in the hoodie.”
“O, now I see him. That’s probably his dad or something.”
“Their dad’s dead, so if that is his dad, then I’m really going crazy. I know I’m not crazy. That man is angry at Kamal, and it looks like he’s pointing a gun at him.”
“Tamika, for real, calm down. You’re really stating to scare me. Look, go on and text Antoine, so that you can get back in your right mind.”
“Okay, but I’m telling you that man was threatening Kamal. I’m gonna send the text after half-time.”
Tamika spent the entire first half of the game wondering if she was doing the right thing. She finally decided that the only way to find out was to do it.
After half-time was over, she finally decided to go head and break up with him. “Antoine, I’m sorry, but I don’t want to go with you no more. It’s nothing that you did, but I just feel that I’m not mentally ready for a serious relationship. I still want you in my life, just not in the same way. We can still be friends if you want.” Tamika sent the text and immediately felt better.
The last quarter went by fast. With five seconds left on the clock, the score was 92-48, and they had the ball. Right when the buzzer went off Kamal shot from the half court line and it went in. The crowd went wild for their 95-48 win. In the mist of all the celebrating Tamika saw Antoine get his phone out of his bag. As he read the text he went from happy to almost crying. Just as he looked up to look at Tamika, he saw her and Kamal hug and how happy she was in his arms.
“If this is what you really want. Long as you’re happy, I’m happy,” Antoine texted Tamika then walked out of the gym.
When Tamika read the text from Antoine, a sudden sadness waved over her and Kamal noticed.
“What’s wrong with you, Tamika?” he asked in the same tone that Antoine asked her just hours earlier.
“Nothing.”
“Something is wrong. Just a minute ago you were so happy and your eyes had this sparkle that made me wish we could stay in this moment forever. Then the sparkle left when you looked at your phone. What happened?”
“I just broke up with Antoine and I just started wondering if I did the right thing. But lets not worry bout my problems, we just won the game. It’s time to celebrate.”
“Are you sure that you’re okay ‘cause I can’t celebrate if you’re unhappy?”
“I’m fine. Now let’s go.”


Tamika and Kamal spent the night celebrating. Tamika arrived home at two the next morning. When she woke up, she realized that she was crying. She then became depressed again as she remembered last nights events. After, she took a shower and finished wallowing in self-pity; she received a text from Kamal.
“Good afternoon baby. I can’t wait until I see you this evening.”
Tamika then remembered that she hooked up
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