The Experiment, Cassidy Shay [amazing books to read .TXT] 📗

could listen to for as long as he could listen to you. He went on and on, and told us what happened right before he was transferred.” He looks at me. “Don’t worry. We’re all sworn to secrecy. We won’t tell any of the doctors.”
“What else did he say?” I push him up against the wall without even realizing it. “What did he say about me?”
“Calm down.” He tries to gently push me away, but I fight against him, so he gives up. “Do you really want to know?” I nod. “By the time he said this, he’d had quite a few drinks. But he said that there wasn’t a single day that goes by that he doesn’t think about you, that he doesn’t fall in love with you all over again.” Everything he says is rushed, because I still haven’t let go of his shirt. He doesn’t look scared, but when he says this, I shrink back against the opposite wall. “How long ago was this?”
“Well, I’ve only been here for a week, so that would make it four weeks ago.” That was after the video where he said he never really loved me. I knew that he was just saying that to make his wife happy!

Outside, it’s started to rain. I turn to the Vipero. “What’s your name?” He tells me that his name is Marc. “Marc, the next time that you see Collin- that man at the restaurant?- tell him that I wanted to tell him that Belle is doing just time. And that… no, nevermind. Just tell him that Belle is a healthy, happy little girl.”
I walk away, towards the DarkRoom. For the rest of the day, I just think about Collin. I know that I shouldn’t be. I’m married to Mathew, and I’ll never see Collin again. But why does my heart beg for information about Collin? Why, when his name is mentioned, do butterflies fill my stomach? And why doesn’t it happen with Mathew?

As soon as I get out of the DarkRoom, I go lay on my bed. After a couple hours of me just sitting there, Belle comes in. “Mommy, it’s time to see Dr. Pender.” I look at the clock and, sure enough, it’s 1:30.
I get out of bed and go with her to Dr. Pender’s office. I must look very distracted, because Dr. Pender gives me a concerned look. “What’s going on?” I just shake my head, try to act like I’m fine.
“I just have some complicating things that came up today.” I turn and walk away before she asks for any more details.
At 4:25, I’m back at her office, picking up Belle. Mathew still doesn’t know that they’ve started the experiments, and I’ve been making sure to be on time to pick Belle up so that he doesn’t find out.
The next couple days, I develop a pattern. I wake up early and look out the window, where Marc meets me. We talk about how different our lives are, share our stories.
Then I go into the DarkRoom, where I draw and suffer. Then I lay in bed thinking about everything that I wish I could change. I drop Belle off, clean our apartment, figure out what to make for dinner. Then I pick her up, and am making dinner when Mathew gets home.
In my routine, there isn’t time for Julie, and that makes me sad. I have no energy left, each day, to visit her. Each night, I promise myself that I’ll go see her tomorrow. So far, it hasn’t happened.
Monday comes again, and I have my usual Monday energy. Monday mornings are the only time the last couple weeks that I’ve had any excess energy, where I smile for no reason. I have hope each Monday morning, hope that I won’t have to do this anymore, that I have a child that Mathew can call his own. When I see Marc at the window, I smile.
“Good morning. What story do you have for me today?” Even though we’ve only known each other for a couple weeks, I feel like I’m much closer to him than I am to anyone else. Each morning we talk about our lives, regrets and memories. He knows me better than most people. But today, he looks sad, constrained.
“I was thinking about someone last night, and I think I’m going to talk to you about her today. She’s my baby girl.” He smiles a sad smile. “So, to be a Vipero, you have to train for six years. I left for training when I was eighteen, which is as early as they’ll take people. Otherwise, my dad would have sent me away two years earlier.
“But when I was seventeen, I met this girl. Her name is Annabel. She’s the most beautiful girl I’ve met. I knew since the day we met that I would marry her. When I was being sent off, I proposed to her.
“The first time that I got to go home during training, it was three months into the program. I didn’t go see my family. I grabbed Annabel and we eloped. About a month later, I got a letter from her, saying that she was pregnant.” He blinks a couple times, quickly. “That was one of the happiest days of my life, finding out that I’m going to be a father.”
He looks up at the ceiling for a moment. “Then the baby was born. A beautiful baby girl. But…” He chokes for a moment, then recovers. “But she has blue eyes and a birthmark.” I see a tear roll down his cheek. “Since they found out that I have an Azulate daughter, I can’t go see my family. They don’t want me to know who my daughter is or what she looks like, because they know that I’d treat her differently. Today is her birthday. She’ll be here soon.” I nod slowly. Although our situations aren’t exactly the same, I know what it feels like to have my child grow up in a place like The Academy.
“That means I’ll get to see my wife for the first time in five years. But it also means that I could be making my daughter go through terrible, terrible things, and I wouldn’t even know it.”
I put my hand on his arm to comfort him, but can find no words to help him. I think back to several years ago, when I met another Vipero who has an Azulate child. I remember the feelings that he had, thinking that there would be times when he would be forced to torture his own child.
“I’m sorry,” I finally say. It sounds so generic, so used up that I suddenly hate those two words. “Not getting to ever meet your child… it hurts.” But I know that I can’t even completely relate to him in this way. While I have several babies that I will never meet, he has one that will live here, and will be exposed to everything that a parent wants to shelter their child from.
He looks at his digital clock that all Vipero have strapped to their wrists. “You should get going,” he says. “Good luck.”
This is what he tells me every day. But he doesn’t realize that today, I really need that luck. I get to the room and Dr. Gibson is there, ready with his machine. “Ready?” he asks.
I hold out my arm for the blood sample, then look into the eye scanners. We want a couple minutes for the results to be printed on the small piece of paper. When it prints, my stomach is tied in knots. I have to be pregnant this time. I can’t deal with the torture anymore.

I look at the doctor. “Read it to me,” I say. I grab it and shove it into his hand. “I don’t want to look at it.”
He takes it and uncrumples it slowly. He looks at the letter for a couple seconds, and then raises his dark eyes to meet mine. “I knew it,” I say. I stomp over to the chair, sit down, and stare at him. “Why are you still here? You’re supposed to leave now, come back next week.”
“But Meagan,” he starts, “it’s positive.” I jump up and grab the paper from him. A small “P” stands alone, bold and black on a white background. For a second, I just stand there, not knowing how I’m supposed to react.
“So I slowly fold the paper into fourths, and put it into my pocket. I turn towards the doctor and, as calmly as I can, I say, “Thank you, doctor.” I leave the room then, and head for the stairs. Mathew is on Floor One this week, installing a window.
I try to keep calm, but my smile splits my face. I continue trying to contain it, even a little bit, but it doesn’t work.
When I get to Floor One, I stop for a second. My smile starts to disappear. For ten years, this place was my home. It’s still early in the morning, so there will be some people coming from the DarkRooms. I slow down, because I had been walking pretty fast and I don’t want to attract any extra attention.
I look down at my jumpsuit. I really haven’t grown much since I lived on Floor One, so I wear the same size jumpsuits now. Some of my jumpsuits are nine, ten years old, so they still have my old information on them. With a sigh, I realize that the one I am wearing is one of the old ones. The sleeves and collar are fraying, the color is faded.
As quiet as I can, I recite my old introduction. “Penny Azul. Last name: Miller. Date of birth: September 22, 3204. Date of admittance: September 24, 3209. Identification number: 1274882. Cell 1A-5.” I sigh, and cover the badge up with my hair.
I walk down the hall and try not to think about those ten years that I lived here. I know that if I run into someone that I knew, or I pay too much attention to what rooms I’m passing, I will break down. Even after eight years of being away from this place, it’s still my home.
But as I’m walking, I’m looking at the ground. I don’t want to look at the daces that I’d see. When I bump into someone, I realize that this was a mistake. “I’m sorry,” we both say, and I force a laugh, try to act like I belong here. “I’ll just go this way.”
He doesn’t let me move. His hands are on my arms, just below the shoulders. “Penny,” he says. I look at the man’s face and I see Jack. He is much older now, but he still has the same face. I look at my left shoulder and see that my badge is exposed. My hair must have fallen behind my shoulder when I bumped into him. “Penny, what are you doing here?” He guides me over to the wall, so we aren’t in the middle of the hallway.
I don’t answer him. I can’t speak. I wrap my arms around his shoulders and put my head against his chest. As he wraps his arms around me, I start to cry.
We stand like that for a while. Luckily, we’re in an area where no one goes, so we aren’t attracting too much attention. Finally, I’m able to speak. “Jack, I’ve missed you so much. There have been so many times when I’ve wanted to tell Belle about you, but I just can’t. I can’t explain to her everything that’s happened…” I start sobbing again, and he hugs me closer to him.
“It’s alright, Penny,”