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just talked about her room and the colours of her bedroom walls, her favourite toys. I wanted to know everything about my best friend. Before I knew it we were walking inside a low rise apartment building. The entrance was dirty, but not with garbage or junk just wear and tear. The walls could do with some paint I thought and the couch in the front entrance was really worn. What are we doing here? I asked her. Thinking maybe we had to make a stop on our way to her house. This is where I live, she replied. Here? Was all I could say? Yes Karma, I live in an apartment. Where did you think I lived, in a house like yours? She continued. I...I...Didn’t think, I stuttered, ya, I guess I did Ally. My eyes were everywhere. I had never been in an apartment building before. Truth is told I had never been to anyone else house except if my parents took me and everyone they knew lived in a house. Ally pushed the elevator button and we waited. What are we waiting for I asked? The elevator, haven’t you ever been in an elevator? She asked. Ya, I have, with my Momma in a big office building. It’s the same thing, Ally replied, maybe smaller. The door opened and Ally stepped in, I followed with hesitation. Hit the fourth floor button she said to me. Oh ok, doing that the doors shut and we were in the small metal box, hopefully going up I thought. By the sounds of it we could be going down at any minute. We got to Ally’s front door as she opened the door the smell of cigarette smoke smacked me in the face. It was strong. You could almost see the smoke floating in the air. Momma, Ally called. Momma, She called again. Wait here she told me. I stood still and waited for Ally to return. She went off in search of her mother. A few minute later she came back, she said her mother had a head ache and was lying down and that we could go to her room, but only for a little bit, and we had to be very quiet. I tip toed behind Ally to her room. It was painted a light purple colour and her ceiling was pink. Very girlie, I thought. I wished my room could have such colour, I said to her. Her bed was a mess and she had clothes all over the floor in her closet. But I didn’t give it a second thought. I really didn’t care what Ally’s room looked like. I was just happy to be there. We sat on the floor and she began to pull out all her favourite things to show me. We whispered and giggled. And when we giggled to loudly Ally would shush me right away. We were having a great time, it seemed. Then she said. I’m sorry Karma you have to go before my mother wakes up. She doesn’t know your here and cause she isn’t well I don’t want to...........just as Ally was about to finish her sentence. Her momma pushed open the door. She was in her robe and her hair was standing on end. All frizzy and in knots, the way my hair gets sometimes if I don’t brush it. I was mesmerized by her, looking at a grown up version of myself, and of Ally. This is what my real momma looked like. I thought. Just like me. She stood in the door way. Then said Allison what is going on in here? Oh momma this is Karma she is my friend from school. Do you remember the one I told you about? Yes, I remember Allison. My memory isn’t going child. Why is she here, in my house? She continued. Karma wanted to come over and see my house, my room; Ally continued to say, really!? Well Kally you have had your look see, now it is time for you to go. But Momma was all Ally could say before her mother came into the room and grabbed Ally by the arm and pulled her to the kitchen. I followed; I wasn’t sure what else to do. You have chores, Allison. Get to it. Look at all the dirty dishes left behind from this morning. You should have done them before you left. You make sure next time they get done. I want this kitchen spotless. You understand? Her mother bellowed at Ally. Yes Momma I’ll get it done. Ok now that’s a good girl, she continued, now say goodbye to your friend Kally . There are lots to do. Ok Momma, Ally relied her voice sounded sad and cracked. She didn’t even try to correct her Momma on my name. It was like she was defeated all over again. I could see it on her face, in her eyes, the disappointment. You’ll have to go now Karma. I know I said. Let me call my brother and I’ll go. Ok, she replied sadly. Thanks for letting me come over Ally. It was nice to see where you live. Maybe you could come to my house next time? I asked. Oh I’m not sure. Momma has a lot of things for me to do every day. Then there was silence until Ally said, but maybe she will. I left Ally’s apartment and was confused and a little scared riding the elevator down to the main lobby to meet David there. But I managed to get there ok. David was waiting for me to take me home. Where’s Matthew I asked, wondering why he didn’t take this chance to drive me home. All David could say was he was grounded from the car for a few days. Well he must have done something to upset my dad.
I didn’t think I would ever have another chance to play with Ally at her house, and I was right I never did. And with my Momma being so busy with the seven of us Ally never had a chance to play at mine.

Chapter 8


A few weeks had past and Ally and I were becoming two peas in a pod. We were best friends. Every day at school we would wait for the other one to get there and then go off on our own. It felt good to have her there. I didn’t feel so alone anymore. We lived in opposite directions so we didn’t walk home together after school. This day ended like any other day. It was a cooler day and I could tell the temperature was dropping and I would have to remember my warmer coat for tomorrow. As I walked down the street towards my house, I was alone because Liam and Katie were home sick with a cold. I could see a small group of kids gathered at the entrance to the pathway that lead to the street my house was on. Hmmm, I wonder who those kids are. , oh well, I said to myself. And I continued on thinking of the things I needed to bring to school for the next day and I had been trying to decide whether or not I need to bring Bubby and my teddy with me to school because now I had Allison and she was my friend. I was not alone anymore. I was lost in my thoughts and before I knew it, I was at the entrance to the pathway where a two boys and one girl stood talking. They were older than me and while I recognized them from school, I had no idea who they were. I kept my head low so I would not make eye contact. I usually did that whenever I was alone and other kids were around, especially, since kindergarten. My thoughts drifted but I was very much aware of where I was and where I was going until it felt like I had hit a brick wall, because my head was down and I wasn’t watching where I was going or who might be in front of me. I had walked straight into one of the boys and knocked myself right off my feet and landed on the ground with a thud. What the hell are you doing? Watch where you’re going nigger? , I heard someone say. What? What did you say? I asked him. You heard me you filthy little smelly terd, one of the boys spat at me. I couldn’t believe my ears. Was I hearing right? I had never heard words like that before. I froze where I fell, and was afraid to get up. I didn’t know what to do as the three kids came closer with mean looks on their faces. I finally spit out “what do you want”. ”Leave me alone”. “Oh, listen to her”, the girl said, mockingly, “Asking me what do I want”. “Well you filthy thing you’re just about to find out”. Then the boy who called me that terrible name came right down on top of me standing over me like a giant and said with a frightening voice “I want to kick your black ass till it’s purple you ugly piece of garbage”. He scared me half to death all I wanted to do was run. But I thought if I did that they would chase me down and really hurt me, so I sat still frozen where I had fallen just looking at the three of them towering over me waiting and hoping they would just let me go. But they didn’t. One of the boys grabbed me by the neck of my favourite blue jump suit and pulled me to my feet. I dropped all my bags and books I was carrying and was about to cry out in deep fear and before I could even open my mouth a shot of pain pierced through my right eye and I hit the ground again. All I could hear was laughing and the girl was saying I’d better not come this way tomorrow or I’ll get another dose of this and maybe she would do it next time. As they walked away laughing at what they had just done, I heard one of the boys say, “maybe you’ll get the other eye next time Cheryl and give her a matching set. The laughing was trailing off and I was relieved at the sound of them fading away, but I was still scared that they might come back. I lay at the mouth of the pathway on the cold paved sidewalk until I was sure I was alone. Even thought I saw houses nearby no one came to help me or to see if I was alright. It took me a few minutes but I sat up and then noticed that my jumper was ripped and I was bleeding at my knee. But most of all my face hurt more than words could describe. All I could think of was; I need to
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