The Unread Terms and Conditions, Monica Delray [list of e readers txt] 📗

as if I had invaded his place.

"What are you doing here?", asked the boy. 

"I came here to get away from everything," I told him.

"You won't get far. I tried," he said in a low mono tone.

Then I said,"Trust me when I say you can."

We stayed up there for a good few hours talking about why we chose to climb this tree today. Turns out, he doesn't really have a place to go. He goes from tree to tree, higher and higher he goes. But also, the thing that got me thinking a lot is that he wasn't real. He was just like the other things that weren't there. It was just like if my imagination is just messing with me. If he wasn't real, why do I see them?  

Disappointment

A few years later, I turned 10 years old. I started to adapt to put it in a lack of terms. Around this time, I started to go through more than I should've. It was the time when my life started to take another turn. A really bad one. It was certain events that stay with you and mess with your head and don't leave. With the whole crazy mind thing, this was the nail in the coffin. My life officially turned into something else. I was still a child, but you can say that my childhood was over by the time I turned 12.

When those things would happen to me, the voices and things started to disappear. Those years, I call them, "Silence of Abuse". The reasons behind it is quite self explanatory. I kept it to myself for those years that was happening. I didn't find the right times to tell anyone. Or if they would actually believe me.

Being in groups was my shield. If I was with a group or with the rest of my family, he couldn't do nothing to me. He would just look at me from the distance hoping he would leave or I would have to. Some days were bad days where I wouldn't be in groups or with my family. I would be left alone with him around. At first, I thought he wouldn't be around, but he was. He would come out of the blue and I could feel my heart beating out of my chest. He would give me this stare that made me want to run out of there. 

"We are going to the store," my mother said. "We are going to be back in a little while."

They closed the door and left. I ran down stairs hoping to catch up to them.

"Wait! I want to go with you!," I yelled from the distance. 

"Just stay here with your uncle. You'll be fine", they repliled. I saw them drive away and as they were leaving, I felt this black shadow just hover. 

"Come inside now", he said sternly.

I stayed frozen still. I didn't want to go back over there. 

"I said get your ass over here!", he said with a look of nothing but pure evil to me. He grabbed my arm and forced me to walk with him to the house. I wish I screamed. But at that point, it was all gone. 

I wasn't there. I just stayed with a emotionless face. I didn't know what to do or think. I know what was going to happen and there was no way of stopping this. He started to take of his belt. I knew what he was going to do. And I wish I was never there that day..

Freshman

 I was 14 my freshman year of high school. I left my past to be what it was at that point. I was starting a new chapter in my life. Everything is going to be fine now. 

A few weeks in, it was all well. I didn't have friends until a little later. This girl named Emma was my bus buddy. We took the bus together every morning and after school. I met other friends but she was the friend that I had much in common with. 

Then a few months in. Everything began to change. But into something else. 

I ran into a group of boy by accident one day. They were picking on this kid. I went to go do something about it. 

"Hey! Stop what you are doing!", I yelled. 

They all turned around. You would think something good to happen. They would leave and the kid would be safe. But standing up to them turned out to be the biggest mistake. They came after me. The kid ran and so did I. But they caught up. They gave me a talk of theirs.

"You should've just walked away", one of them said.

"yeah, save yourself the trouble", said another. 

They started to beat me up like if I was a punching bag in a gym. I couldn't defend myself, of course. There was three of them. All were taller and stronger. I tried at least to do something but it was not possible. They were nice enough not to hit my face. I was easier to hide what they did. 

The next day, I was aching. Trying not to be looking like I just got beat up yesterday. Emma was cheerful and full of life like always. She made me feel better. She helped me get through things without her knowing anything about anything. 

"I'm going to the restroom," I told her.

"Alright. I'll be here," she replied.

I was walking to the restoom and I saw them again. I tried to get past them quickly and without them noticing me. That failed. They saw me and started to call out to me. I ignored them and started to walk faster. That didn't work obviously. They started to run. And so did I... Well, I tried. I was still hurting from yesterday. They caught up to me and started with their little talks again.

"Did you miss us," he said with a smirk.

I tried not to look at them. I saw the first swing come to me and punched me right on my rib. I fell to the floor. Although my body was there, my mind wasn't. Why am I getting this done to me? I thought about my uncle and what he did to me. I thought about getting hurt by him and being forced to do everything he wanted. 

The beating continued and I thought about Anna. Why Anna left me at the worst of times. How I wished she was here with me. To help me get through everything. She was the one to count on. They stopped and they left me there. I laid there thinking of everything. The bell rang and I walked to Emma.

"You were gone an awful long time," she said chuckling.

I tried to keep a happy face and not one that was full of pain. I just thought of the first lie that came into my head.

"There was too many girls in the restoom. There was a big line."

She gave me my stuff and I got to class. The pain was becoming unbearable. I felt there fists on my body still. We has a sub that didn't care what we did in class. So, I laid on the floor for a while. It helped a little bit but it still hurt everywhere. I just wanted this year to be over with. We were only in September. Towards the middle and end of the year, I started to harm myself. You would think that it's odd adding more pain to oneself after getting hurt by others. But no. This made me feel so much better throughout the years. 

That wouldn't always help though. I had 2 friends outside of school. Richard and Karla. They would help me get through the issues as best as they could. I tried to cooperate with what they wanted. They wanted the best of me. I couldn't always do that. I tried to kill myself. I couldn't take it. 

Towards the beginning of sophomore year, everything came out. My parents found about everything that had been happening in school. That's when they changed towards me. And it was okay then.

Junior

I decided to skip sophomore year. But just to make it a long story short, I moved schools. I started off new. Everything was normal for me. I made new friends. Anna and I lost touch after I did. She found about the guys that were beating me up on the daily. I had 2 friends that year. It was a good year in the beginning. I hung out a lot with Sarah. I would go to her house very often. It was fun always. 

We would go everywhere. A lot of new experiences. Not much to say towards the end. She turned against me, you can say. This was the year of no control. I was having a lot of mental health issues. It was hard to be like myself. But I was just tired of hiding it and pretending everything is okay. 

I tried to kill myself again. Not because of Sarah. I didn't care about her anymore. But because Anna. We got in touch again a couple months ago. She was telling me about her life. And how it's been. And it was not good at all. 

I felt really bad for her. I wanted to see her and just give her the biggest hug. I saw her and she was just all kinds of messed up. She looked like if she was lost. Didn't know what to do. She had bruises on her arms from her dad beating her up every time. Her mom was also going under the abuse but to avoid anything like that, she would stay out of it and not defend Anna anymore. 

"I can't anymore Monica. I just want someone to kill me," she said crying.

I started to cry