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and unconditionally.

Sometimes, I wish I could hug their broken pieces and put them together..

I wish I could make it better,

Make  the pain fade away.

I hug them in my mind...sometimes I cry for them at night.

I need you to accept this.

I am no saint, but I hurt for others.

I carry the sadness of the world inside me….sometimes it engulfs me completely.

And I get lost in its darkness.

When it does so, please don’t leave me alone.

Take me to the light, am tired of hurting alone.

I talk nonsense…

When I’am tired, when i'm sick, when I’am hurting, When I fail…

I talk nonsense most of the time.

I’ll tell you no when my heart is dying to tell you yes.

I need you to understand me when I can no longer understand myself.

I need you to shut me up when you feel like it.

Kiss me like I am oxygen, and you’re gasping for breath.

Your kisses can fix my broken pieces,

Your kisses will fill my empty parts.

You’ll make me full again, You’ll make me alive.

Today,Sorrow compressed my heart,

I felt like I'm gonna die,

Like the world was so much and I couldn’t handle it anymore,

Like you were an illusion and I can no longer hold onto you.

I felt like I needed to disappear,

Move to a far far place,

Maybe I’ll travel to the moon,

And maybe am never coming back.

But how would I do so, when all I ever wanted was to be found?

I am so fragile my dearest,

So damn fragile…

Between the few good moments, between the little happy times.

I am a child at heart.

A naive little soul with lots of hope,

I see all kinds of love in the world,

Never the same love twice,

I wish I could taste them,

Try what each one feels like.

But oh my little silly heart,

Greedy thing you are...I tell myself,

Because maybe just maybe,

The world wouldn’t grant me any love at all.

My heart aches just from the thought, and the sadness overcomes again.

If only I could face the truth,

If only I could be brave enough to understand,

That although most people may seem like they love me,

Not all of them can love me enough,

I can't blame them though,

I just need to get over it.

I need to start living with it.

Dearest,

Did I mention how much of a mess I can be?

Did I tell you how I get sad from the little things?

I knew how unimportant it was,

I swear I did,

But it made me sad anyway.

I went home and let the sadness consume me for sometime, then I got happy again.

You’ll handle this right,

I believe you can.

I am waiting for you,

I have been for such a long time.

And I will wait no matter how long it takes.

So, till we meet?

Yours,

always.



Seven

 

 

 

 

He was my favorite.

Always have been.

Chocolate brown eyes that made my heart warm.

He was the last shining star in this wild wild galaxy,

My lucky charm,

The highlight of my day.

He was the one thing that mattered,

The soft breeze that calmed my soul every night.

He was my melody,

The missing lyrics of my songs.

Life made sense when he was around,

“Tell me all the terrible things you’ve ever done, all the secrets you kept to yourself and let me love you anyway…” He said.

I was in his arms, the heat of his body warmed mine...never had it ever felt like this.

He was whispering sweet words into my ears, I wanted to hold onto him forever.

Sometimes when it got too much I cried, he saw me though...he always did.

Never did he ever leave me, he held me close...spoke softly into my neck, his words brought shivers into my spine, and butterflies into my stomach.

“I love you” he’d say,

“You’re fire baby, and I’ve been cold all my life.” He said.

My tears dried every time you said those words, peace engulfed my soul and I knew that for that night we were okay.

I remember the how you laughed, the sound of your laughter and the way your dimples would appear making my favorite show.

I remember that crooked tooth of yours,the one that drove you crazy every time you looked into the mirror.You said it ruined that face of yours, I thought it only ruined hearts and lots of them.

I saw the light with you every morning, It was safe to fall asleep knowing you'd be here when I wake up.

I used to close my eyes sometimes and wonder how you turned out to be my lighthouse, my safe haven and my sanity in the madness of the world.

Why did you have to be so beautiful, so bright...you made the dark days fade away...you made home no longer an address but a pair of brown eyes greeting me with feelings.

You were too much, you were nothing at all.

You were a rainy day, dying to be danced in.

You were water, deep water that was enough to save me.

You held the love of the world in your arms,

And you poured it right here in front of me.

You were hard, of course you were hard.

Hard is what made you great,

Hard is what made you different.

You melted in my arms though,

You tore apart and cried your heart of.

You told me how cruel the world was, and how it was never easy.

I would play with your hair,

You loved it when I played with your hair.

You’d tell me everything that mattered and everything that made no sense at all..

And with every word you said, I fell harder for you.

Like loving you was never enough,

And my feelings for you had no limits.

You’d sleep then, a sweet sound coming out of you.

Beautiful rhythm of your breaths, indicating how tired the world had got you.

I’d kiss your heart then, and thank God for you like I do every night.

Then I’d drift to sleep.

Sometimes, I could feel his dreams bound with mine like pages of a fairy tale.

Like the world was ours and we’d forever carry our memories with us.

You were too much, you were nothing at all.

I loved you.

So hard, so much.

I opened my eyes then.

I was all alone, emptiness surrounded my heart and I thought am gonna die.

Then I woke up.



Imprint

Publication Date: 02-19-2017

All Rights Reserved

Dedication:
For myself, Thank you for being there when no one else was.

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