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asleep by now.”

“No, I wasn’t, but I thought you were.”

“I had homework to finish up first.”

“You seem like you were solving quantum physics or something.” She said mockingly.

“It’s nothing like that I was just thinking about Lexi.”

Since I knew she would want to know more I thought it wouldn’t be bad to tell her something,

She came to sit by the table where I was doing my homework which I finished a while ago, “She came to you?” she asked,

“Yes, and I don’t know what to do with her!” I admitted out of frustration.

“What do you mean you don’t know what to do with her?”

“You know what I mean. Ash, I don’t want her to be next. It will be too much for me.”

“Hey, you don’t know that for sure.”

“How can you say that after all that had happened? Besides I don’t know if there is any place for love in me anymore. I’m tired of having people ripped away from me.”

“Of course there is, if you let it.”

“I don’t know if I can.”

“Oh brother, I wish I could help you.”

“You are already helping me more than you know. Go get some sleep. I’m sure I’ll be okay tomorrow.”

“Okay,” then she kissed me on the cheek. “Good night.” She said then she went to her room.

Once she left I collected my books and shoved them in my back pack. Then I went to the bathroom and filled the bathtub with water. I know it is weird but if I wanted undisturbed sleep I needed to do it. I wasn’t doing it out of leisure but out of necessity or also more of an instinct thing, at least that’s what I told myself.

After it was full I stripped off my clothes and jumped in. The moment I stepped my foot in the chill rushed through my bones. I took a deep breath and lifted another and dipped it in and I felt the same as the first one. Actually I thought of getting out and jump under the covers in my bed and suck all that warmth I could get. But then the agony of the nightmares and the toss and turning made me give the bathtub a try.

So I sat and let the chill wash over me and then laid there with my whole body deep in it leaving only my head out. For a second I was really cold and I wondered if I would be able to fall asleep with all the cold. But in an instant it was gone and I felt a calmness I never felt before. I sighed and it felt like someone was singing me a lullaby to go to sleep and without even trying I fell into a slumber.

It’s a good thing I didn’t over sleep this time. I was still feeling pretty cold though; at least that didn’t change. What I couldn’t understand was why I could sleep comfortable in that cold water. And since I didn’t have the answer for that I just added it to the others I couldn’t find answers for.

I was in no hurry today, with the waking up early and all, it gave me the opportunity to go back to my old habits. I set the shower to hot water and let it pour over me and let my body get soaked with its warmth. Then I relaxed and let the world drift away and just be me and no else. It was quite refreshing and liberating at least for couple seconds, I almost thought I was back in the bathtub.

But my leisure was cut short when the girl with fiery hair invaded my privacy. It was mostly in my mind like I was dreaming while I was awake, sort of. And as usual she disappeared just as soon as she appeared.

Asking myself more questions seemed a little bit meaningless so I just turned the shower off and got ready for school. And by that time the cold was gone. I took my blue shirt and blue jeans, I think blue is my favorite color.

Ashley barged in as usual and was quite pleased to see me almost ready.

“Morning.” She greeted,

“Morning, someone is unusually pleased today.” I mocked.

“Don’t start with me.”

“I wasn’t doing anything, except complimenting.”

“Steve, we both know that wasn’t meant for compliment.”

“Yah, sorry you figured that.” I said sarcastically.

“Are you trying to annoy me?”

“Why?”

“I’m out of here, hurry up. I’m in no mood to run my way to class today.”

“Sure give me an hour or so.” I joked,

She shook her head and left, and that was her way of saying she was in mood to argue with me today. I have to admit though I could be a little bit annoying sometimes. I always tried to pick an argument with her. And I enjoyed seeing her face crease with frustration with all the meaningless arguments I made. I went downstairs after I was ready.

“Morning, mom.” I said to mom after I sat down by the kitchen counter, “How are you?”

“I’m quite well. You seem different today.”

“How different?” I asked her,

“Better, have you used some medicines or something? Or have you found a new girlfriend?”

“No mom, it’s just enough sleep, I think.” I almost said I’ll never have a girlfriend ever again, but I knew that would rise lots of questions so I decided to keep that to myself.

“Mom, why are you taking so long today?” Ashley snapped, but we weren’t surprised though we were used with her impatience.

“I’m done darling, get the milk from the fridge.” Mom said,

Ashley got up and dropped the milk on the table from the refrigerator. After mom brought the rest of the breakfast on the table. There was some bacon and fried eggs and fruits and our juice as usual.

Mom always wanted us to have strong breakfast, so the breakfast looked almost like a meal. She sat down with us, she changed to that because she said it was easier than getting ready and come have breakfast by herself.

She also became interested with morning news. So she would switch on the kitchen TV and watch what was happening with the world to make few comments about morning news of the day. Then after we finished Ashley and I would go to school and she would get ready for work.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

CHAPTER 23;

 

I drove the car slowly, not that slowly, just different from my usual style. Ashley sat relaxed playing with her phone and for a second I was happy for her. Because that was the first time in a while I’d seen her so relaxed. I didn’t know the reason why and I didn’t want to find out either.

I on the other hand wasn’t relaxed at all. My own thoughts were wrestling on my mind. The fact that I was going to see Lexi and ask her for help was driving me crazy. I had no way of being sure if she was telling the truth or not. The only reason I had was that she was the first person to offer me help. Could I trust her? Could I trust myself that I was making the right decision that there wasn’t going to be any problems? Could I be sure that I wasn’t putting her life in danger? I couldn’t be sure for either questions so I just dropped the subject and looked at Ashley who was looking at me now.

“You have that look,” she said,

“What look?”

“Like you are trying to solve the mystery of the world. Just don’t lose yourself in your own mind.”

“I was just,” but she cut me short,

“Don’t tell me, it’s safer that way. The less I know about your problems the more I can focus on my own life.” She said.

I didn’t say anything after that and tried not to think about anything either, just focus on the road. I managed with occasional warning looks from Ashley who made sure that I won’t lose myself again. And finally I managed to put my problems behind me for once, actually I even felt like a normal guy for a while too. We arrived at school and Ashley jumped off and joined with her friends who arrived shortly after. As for me, I didn’t know what to expect today. Things were quiet and people forgot all about me. It almost felt like I was invincible or something.

People passed by me on the hallway without glaring at me or even notice me really and some would bump on my shoulders like a normal student. I finally felt like I was blending in for once in a long time. Lexi popped out of nowhere when I was by my locker taking my textbooks and she flashed me a big smile.

“Hi,” she greeted cheerily,

“Hi,” my response was different, it was cold without any feelings.

Bratt passed by and glared at me like he was dying to corner me again. I didn’t know why he didn’t come after me earlier, I mean I was alone for a whole week and he didn’t come to torture me. I was glad he was too late now, I was with my bodyguard now. Maybe that’s a little bit harsh but that’s how I saw her sometimes.

“Have you thought about it?” she startled me by asking.

“I’m still thinking about it.” I said,

“Okay,” she said shortly.

It was like she was expecting it or something. I couldn’t understand her at all, I couldn’t tell what her end game was. At first I thought she just wanted to be with me, but then again at times she would act like I was a project to her or something more than just a mere infatuation. I even thought it was something bigger than both of us, but all over sudden she would act like she liked me all over again.

She was the most fickle person I ever knew. I didn’t know if I should be worried about her or not. What she told me was intriguing, it was the first time someone other than Ashley offered to help me. And I had a feeling this girl was more than what she was showing on the outside.

We went to chemistry lab for our first class and we were partners as usual. I kept my head focused as much as I could because I didn’t want to drift away again, I was done with that. I always wanted to graduate with honors. I admit I was distracted for a while but now I wasn’t willing to throw that away.

I could lose everything but not my head and that might have been the only thing I could actually achieve. I mean what else can you get from ruined life and reputation? At least I could get a good diploma to show that I actually had the brains.

From morning and all the other classes until lunch time I managed to pay full attention than any other time ever since my life changed. Even with all the focus I could have I still couldn’t decide on one thing. I didn’t know whether I should trust the girl Lexi or not. For all I knew letting her into my life would be crossing a dangerous line, and even if I wanted to protect her I wouldn’t know how.

I was sitting at my usual table

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