The Lust of Hate, Guy Newell Boothby [essential books to read .txt] 📗
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manner as a hungry trout jumps at a fly. If I could only manage to
get up there without being caught the appointment would suit me in
every way. Mr. Maybourne seemed as pleased at my acceptance of it as
I was at his offer; and when, after a little further conversation—in
which I received many useful hints and no small amount of advice—it
was revealed to his daughter, she struck me as being even more
delighted than either her father or myself. I noticed that Mr.
Maybourne looked at her rather anxiously for a moment as if he
suspected there might be some sort of understanding between us, but
whatever he may have thought he kept it to himself. He need, however,
have had no fear on that score. Circumstances had placed an
insurmountable barrier between myself and any thought of marriage
with his daughter.
As the result of our conversation, and at my special desire, it
was arranged that I should start for my post on the following day.
Nobody could have been more eager than I was to be out in the wilds.
But, with it all, my heart felt sad when I thought that after
tomorrow I might never see the woman I so ardently loved again. Since
the previous night, when on the promenade-deck of the steamer I had
told her of my love, neither of us had referred in any way to the
subject. So remote was the chance that I should ever be able to make
her my wife that I determined, so far as possible, to prevent myself
from giving any thought to the idea. But I was not destined after all
to leave without referring to the matter.
That evening after dinner we were sitting in the verandah outside
the drawing-room, when the butler came to inform Mr. Maybourne that a
neighbour had called to see him. Asking us to excuse him for a few
moments he left us and went into the house. When we were alone
together I spoke to my companion of her father’s kindness, and told
her how much I appreciated it. She uttered a little sigh, and as this
seemed such an extraordinary answer to my speech, I enquired the
reason of it.
“You say you are going away tomorrow,” she answered, “and yet you
ask me why I sigh! Cannot you guess?”
“Agnes,” I said, “you know I have no option but to go. Do not let
us go over the ground we covered last night. It would be best not for
both our sakes; you must see that yourself.”
“You know that I love you, and I know that you love me—and yet
you can go away so calmly. What can your love be worth?”
“You know what it is worth,” I answered vehemently, roused out of
myself by this accusation. “And if ever the chance occurs again of
proving it you will be afforded another example. I cannot say
more.”
“And is it always to be like this, Gilbert,” she asked, for the
first time calling me by my Christian name. “Are we to be separated
all our lives?”
“God knows—I fear so,” I murmured, though it cut me to the heart
to have to say the words.
She bowed her head on her hands with a little moan, while I,
feeling that I should not be able to control myself much longer,
sprang to my feet and went across to the verandah rails. For
something like five minutes I stood looking into the dark garden,
then I pulled myself together as well as I was able and went back to
my chair.
“Agnes,” I said, as I took possession of her little hand, “you
cannot guess what it costs me to tell you how impossible it is for me
ever to link my lot with yours. The reason why I cannot tell you. My
secret is the bitterest one a man can have to keep, and it must
remain locked in my own breast for all time. Had I met you earlier it
might have been very different—but now our ways must be separate for
ever. Don’t think more hardly of me than you can help, dear. Remember
only that as long as I live I shall call no other woman wife.
Henceforward I will try to be worthy of the interest you have felt in
me. No one shall ever have the right to say ought against me; and, if
by any chance you hear good of me in the dark days to come, you will
know that it is for love of you I rule my life. May God bless and
keep you always.”
She held up her sweet face to me, and I kissed her on the lips.
Then Mr. Maybourne returned to the verandah; and, half-an-hour later,
feeling that father and daughter would like a little time alone
together before they retired to rest, I begged them to excuse me, and
on a pretence of feeling tired went to my room.
Next morning after breakfast I drove with Mr. Maybourne into Cape
Town, where I made the few purchases necessary for my journey. In
extension of the kindness he had so far shown me, he insisted on
advancing me half my first year’s salary—a piece of generosity for
which you may be sure I was not ungrateful, seeing that I had not a
halfpenny in the world to call my own. Out of this sum I paid the
steamship company for my passage—much against their wish—obtained a
ready-made rig out suitable for the rough life I should henceforth
live, also a revolver, a rifle, and among other things a small gold
locket which I wished to give to Agnes as a keepsake and remembrance
of myself.
At twelve o’clock I returned to the house, and, after lunch,
prepared to bid the woman I loved “good-bye.” Of that scene I cannot
attempt to give you any description—the pain is too keen even now.
Suffice it that when I left the house I carried with me, in addition
to a sorrow that I thought would last me all my life, a little square
parcel which, on opening, I found to contain a photo of herself in a
Russia leather case. How I prized that little present I will leave
you to guess.
Two hours later I was in the train bound for Johannesburg.
CHAPTER X. I TELL MY STORY.
SIX months had elapsed since I had left Cape Town, and on looking
back on them now I have to confess that they constituted the happiest
period of my life up to that time. I had an excellent appointment, an
interesting, if not all-absorbing, occupation, comfortable quarters,
and the most agreeable of companions any man could desire to be
associated with. I was as far removed from civilization as the most
misanthropic of men, living by civilized employment, could hope to
get. Our nearest town, if by such a name a few scattered huts could
be dignified, was nearly fifty miles distant, our mails only reached
us once a week, and our stores once every three months. As I had
never left the mine for half a day during the whole of the time I had
been on it, I had seen no strange faces, and by reason of the
distance and the unsettled nature of the country, scarcely
half-a-dozen had seen mine.
“The Pride of the South,” as the mine had been somewhat
grandiloquently christened by its discoverer, was proving a better
property than had even been expected, and to my astonishment, for I
had made haste to purchase shares in it, my luck had turned, and I
found myself standing an excellent chance of becoming a rich man.
One thing surprised me more and more every day, and that was my
freedom from arrest; how it had come about that I was permitted to
remain at large so long I could not understand. When I had first come
up to Rhodesia I had found a danger in everything about me. In the
rustling of the coarse veldt grass at night, the sighing of the wind
through the trees, and even the shadows of the mine buildings and
machinery. But when week after week and month after month went by and
still no notice was taken of me by the police, my fears began to
abate until, at the time of which I am about to speak, I hardly
thought of the matter at all. When I did I hastened to put it away
from me in much the same way as I would have done the remembrance of
some unpleasant dream of the previous week. One consolation, almost
cruel in its uncertainty, was always with me. If suspicion had not so
far fallen on me in England, it would be unlikely, I argued, ever to
do so; and in the joy of this thought I began to dream dreams of the
happiness that might possibly be mine in the future. Was it to be
wondered at therefore that my work was pleasant to me and that the
wording of Mr. Maybourne’s letters of praise seemed sweeter in my
ears than the strains of the loveliest music could have been. It was
evident that my star was in the ascendant, but, though I could not
guess it then, my troubles were by no means over; and, as I was soon
to find out, I was on the edge of the bitterest period of all my
life.
Almost on the day that celebrated my seventh mouth in Mr.
Maybourne’s employ, I received a letter from him announcing his
intention of starting for Rhodesia in a week’s time, and stating that
while in our neighbourhood he would embrace the opportunity of
visiting “The Pride of the South.” In the postscript he informed me
that his daughter had decided to accompany him, and for this reason
he would be glad if I would do my best to make my quarters as
comfortable as possible in preparation for her. He, himself, he
continued, was far too old a traveller to be worth considering.
I was standing at the engine-room door, talking to one of the men,
when the storekeeper brought me my mail. After I had read my chief’s
letter, I felt a thrill go through me that I could hardly have
diagnosed for pleasure or pain. I felt it difficult to believe that
in a few weeks’ time I should see Agnes again, be able to look into
her face, and hear the gentle accents of her voice. The portrait she
had given me of herself I carried continually about with me; and, as
a proof of the inspection it received, I may say that it was already
beginning to show decided signs of wear. Mr. Maybourne had done well
in asking me to see to her comfort. I told myself I would begin my
preparations at once, and it should go hard with me if she were not
pleased with my arrangements when she arrived.
“While I was mentally running my eye over what I should do,
Mackinnon, my big Scotch overseer, came up from the shaft’s mouth to
where I stood, and reported that some timbering which I had been
hurrying forward was ready for inspection. After we had visited it
and I had signified my approval, I informed him of our employer’s
contemplated visit, and wound up by saying that his daughter would
accompany him. He shook his head solemnly when he heard this.
“A foolish thing,” he said, in his slow, matter-of fact way, “a
very foolish thing. This country’s nae fit for a lady at present, as
Mr. Maybourne kens well eno’. An’ what’s more, there’ll be trouble
among the boys (natives) before
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