The Duchess of Malfi, John Webster [famous ebook reader .TXT] 📗

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The bedchamber of the Duchess in the same.

Enter Duchess, Antonio, and Cariola. Duchess

Bring me the casket hither, and the glass.⁠—
You get no lodging here tonight, my lord.

Antonio

Indeed, I must persuade one.

Duchess

Very good:
I hope in time ’twill grow into a custom,
That noblemen shall come with cap and knee
To purchase a night’s lodging of their wives.

Antonio

I must lie here.

Duchess

Must! You are a lord of misrule.

Antonio

Indeed, my rule is only in the night.

Duchess

To what use will you put me?

Antonio

We’ll sleep together

Duchess

Alas, what pleasure can two lovers find in sleep?

Cariola

My lord, I lie with her often, and I know
She’ll much disquiet you.

Antonio

See, you are complain’d of.

Cariola

For she’s the sprawling’st bedfellow.

Antonio

I shall like her the better for that.

Cariola

Sir, shall I ask you a question?

Antonio

Ay, pray thee, Cariola.

Cariola

Wherefore still, when you lie with my lady,
Do you rise so early?

Antonio

Labouring men
Count the clock oftenest, Cariola,
Are glad when their task’s ended.

Duchess

I’ll stop your mouth. Kisses him.

Antonio

Nay, that’s but one; Venus had two soft doves
To draw her chariot; I must have another.⁠—

She kisses him again.

When wilt thou marry, Cariola?

Cariola

Never, my lord.

Antonio

O, fie upon this single life! forgo it.
We read how Daphne, for her peevish [flight,]71
Became a fruitless bay-tree; Syrinx turn’d
To the pale empty reed; Anaxarete
Was frozen into marble: whereas those
Which married, or prov’d kind unto their friends,
Were by a gracious influence transhap’d
Into the olive, pomegranate, mulberry,
Became flowers, precious stones, or eminent stars.

Cariola

This is a vain poetry: but I pray you, tell me,
If there were propos’d me, wisdom, riches, and beauty,
In three several young men, which should I choose?

Antonio

’Tis a hard question. This was Paris’ case,
And he was blind in’t, and there was a great cause;
For how was’t possible he could judge right,
Having three amorous goddesses in view,
And they stark naked? ’Twas a motion
Were able to benight the apprehension
Of the severest counsellor of Europe.
Now I look on both your faces so well form’d,
It puts me in mind of a question I would ask.

Cariola

What is’t?

Antonio

I do wonder why hard-favour’d ladies,
For the most part, keep worse-favour’d waiting-women
To attend them, and cannot endure fair ones.

Duchess

O, that’s soon answer’d.
Did you ever in your life know an ill painter
Desire to have his dwelling next door to the shop
Of an excellent picture-maker? ’Twould disgrace
His face-making, and undo him. I prithee,
When were we so merry?⁠—My hair tangles.

Antonio

Pray thee, Cariola, let’s steal forth the room,
And let her talk to herself: I have diverse times
Serv’d her the like, when she hath chaf’d extremely.
I love to see her angry. Softly, Cariola.

Exeunt Antonio and Cariola. Duchess

Doth not the colour of my hair ’gin to change?
When I wax gray, I shall have all the court
Powder their hair with arras,72 to be like me.
You have cause to love me; I ent’red you into my heart

Enter Ferdinand unseen.

Before you would vouchsafe to call for the keys.
We shall one day have my brothers take you napping.
Methinks his presence, being now in court,
Should make you keep your own bed; but you’ll say
Love mix’d with fear is sweetest. I’ll assure you,
You shall get no more children till my brothers
Consent to be your gossips. Have you lost your tongue?
’Tis welcome:
For know, whether I am doom’d to live or die,
I can do both like a prince.

Ferdinand

Die, then, quickly! Giving her a poniard.

Virtue, where art thou hid? What hideous thing
Is it that doth eclipse thee?

Duchess

Pray, sir, hear me.

Ferdinand

Or is it true thou art but a bare name,
And no essential thing?

Duchess

Sir⁠—

Ferdinand

Do not speak.

Duchess

No, sir:
I will plant my soul in mine ears, to hear you.

Ferdinand

O most imperfect light of human reason,
That mak’st [us] so unhappy to foresee
What we can least prevent! Pursue thy wishes,
And glory in them: there’s in shame no comfort
But to be past all bounds and sense of shame.

Duchess

I pray, sir, hear me: I am married.

Ferdinand

So!

Duchess

Happily, not to your liking: but for that,
Alas, your shears do come untimely now
To clip the bird’s wings that’s already flown!
Will you see my husband?

Ferdinand

Yes, if I could change
Eyes with a basilisk.

Duchess

Sure, you came hither
By his confederacy.

Ferdinand

The howling of a wolf
Is music to thee, screech-owl: prithee, peace.⁠—
Whate’er thou art that hast enjoy’d my sister,
For I am sure thou hear’st me, for thine own sake
Let me not know thee. I came hither prepar’d
To work thy discovery; yet am now persuaded
It would beget such violent effects
As would damn us both. I would not for ten millions
I had beheld thee: therefore use all means
I never may have knowledge of thy name;
Enjoy thy lust still, and a wretched life,
On that condition.⁠—And for thee, vile woman,
If thou do wish thy lecher may grow old
In thy embracements, I would have thee build
Such a room for him as our anchorites
To holier use inhabit. Let not the sun
Shine on him till he’s dead; let dogs and monkeys
Only converse with him, and such dumb things
To whom nature denies use to sound his name;
Do not keep a paraquito, lest she learn it;
If thou do love him, cut out thine own tongue,
Lest it bewray him.

Duchess

Why might not I marry?
I have not gone about in this to create
Any new world or custom.

Ferdinand

Thou art undone;
And thou hast ta’en that massy sheet of lead
That hid thy husband’s bones, and folded it
About my heart.

Duchess

Mine bleeds for’t.

Ferdinand

Thine! thy heart!
What should I name’t unless a hollow bullet
Fill’d with unquenchable wildfire?

Duchess

You are in this
Too strict; and were you not my princely brother,
I would say, too wilful: my reputation
Is safe.

Ferdinand

Dost thou