Locomotive to the Past, George Schultz [snow like ashes series txt] 📗

sure . . . positive, I am… that we could make it! Positive! Not only could we make it… but, I’m absolutely certain that we could even prosper! That we would . . . in fact… prosper! You have your apartment! One that I’m sure I’d enjoy… although I’ve never been there! Thinking it over, the rent is reasonable. I’m more than familiar… with all those really nice apartment buildings, on Ohio. I’m sure that yours is just as nice as any. As nice, as all of them are. You have your job… and I have mine! I worry, of course, about yours! I think, though, that… with my puny little pittance, from Monkey Wards, added… I think that you’ll be able to concentrate, a little more, on breaking in, to radio. Hopefully, you could concentrate on it… a lot more.”

“Man! Valerie? Valerie, I can’t stop, being in wonder . . . absolute wonder . . . about all these things that you’re saying! Have been saying… since Saturday night! I had no idea . . . none . . . that you’ve even been thinking! Thinking all these things!”

“Well,” she responded, warmly, “that song… the one from Rose Marie . . . it really touched me! Obviously! Touched me… very deeply! And I finally figured . . . apparently, he’s not going to say anything to me! Not about love, anyway! So, I figured I’d better say something to you! That song . . . well, it just kind of hurried things along, is all!”

“I… well, I… I was almost… well, I was really afraid… to talk about the whole thing! About how I felt… about how I feel . . . about you! Didn’t want to… you know… didn’t want to offend you! It was…”

“OFFEND me? Jason? Jason… do you really think that I’m pretty? Do you, actually, think that? Really believe that?”

“Of course! Of course I do! What a silly question!”

“Uh huh. And how often have you told me that? Actually told me… that I’m pretty?”

“Uh… well, you see… again, I thought that, maybe, you’d be… uh…”

“That I’d be upset? That I’d be offended? That I’d be offended . . . hearing someone tell me, that I’m pretty?” She could not suppress a brief sneer. “What an awful thing to hear!” Her voice was overloaded—with good-natured sarcasm. “To hear that I’m… gasp! . . . actually pretty!” Her broad smile indicated, to his relief, that the sarcastic tone had been only temporary. Temporary—and brief.

“All right,” he rasped. “I know that there’s a lot of things, that I should…”

“Jason? I don’t know this! I really don’t know much… much of… well, much of anything, about you! Certainly… about your past!” She took a deep breath—and continued! “And,” she amended—slowly, sadly—“that’s all right! But, I do have this definite idea . . . this, for-real, feeling! This, damn-sure, feeling, that… that you’ve been… well… been knocked down! Knocked down… good and knocked down… for all, of your life! For… literally . . . all your life! I believe that… for your entire lifetime… you’ve been told that you’re not worth a tinker’s damn! And that was probably the most… well, the most charitable thing… that anyone’s ever said to you”

“I dunno.” His voice was almost a hoarse wheeze. “I guess so. Maybe you’re right. You’re probably right. I guess you are right! Well, you’re right, about every thing! At least… till I met Susie, and Eric! And you! Most especially . . . you!”

“Jason? Why do you feel that way? Why would you… ?”

Then, she smacked her palm, to her forehead—not unlike those rather-successful V-8 Juice commercials, of the late-nineties/early-twenty-first-century. The couple, in the adjoining booth were startled—slightly—at the resulting sound. Then, they laughed—and went back to their succulent hamburgers.

“Of course!” Valerie resumed. “If you’re bombarded . . . if anyone is bombarded, continually bombarded, with negative crap… then, of course it’s gonna affect ’em! Of course it would! You can’t just disregard it! Not indefinitely, anyway! No one can!”

When she determined, that he was not responding, she took both of his hands—and encased them, in hers!

“Jason, listen!” It was almost a dog’s bark! Still—as totally impossible, as such an occurrence might seem—there was an incredible amount of pure, out and out, tenderness, in the “bark”! “Listen to me, Jason.” The “bark” part had left! But, the tenderness remained. “Jason… listen to me! You are the nicest… the most considerate . . . boy, I’ve ever met! The nicest… most considerate… man, I’ve ever met! The absolute nicest! The absolute most considerate! You can’t tell me… no way near too often… how much you love me! Can’t say that… often enough! Or,” and she laughed quietly, “how pretty . . . you think I am! How pretty… you might think I might be!”

“Might be? Might be… hell! You are pretty! You’re beautiful! The most beautiful girl… most beautiful woman . . . that I’ve ever met!”

He’d thought—immediately—of his “Aunt Debbie”! In his “home epoch”! He’d never thought he’d say—or even think—that anyone could be as beautiful, as “Aunt Debbie”! And yet? And yet—here was this gorgeous young lady! This wonderful young lady! Who actually was—pure and simple—the most beautiful woman, that he’d actually ever met! (And—now that he’d thought of it—Susan was probably the runaway runner-up, in that elite category! That was a surprise! The whole thing was a surprise!)

“I believe you,” Valerie almost-whispered. “I believe that’s what you think, anyway. Why can’t you believe… that someone thinks the same thing? The same thing . . . about you?”

“You think I’m beautiful?” he asked—smiling broadly.

His smile (that smile) had—for, seemingly, always—been a part of his charm. And now, she was luxuriating in it. The line he’d spoken, of course, was meant to be a humorous rejoinder. And so it was. But, seconds later, his fiancée took on a most serious expression!

“You are, Jason! You’re more beautiful . . . than you could ever imagine! Than you could possibly realize!”

Her comment had—immediately—sent plush, moist, tears, coursing down his cheeks! Dozens of tears! Maybe hundreds of tears! Probably hundreds of tears! He couldn’t understand this! Was having a terrible time—dealing with the losing control of his emotions! As was happening—so often—of late! So dreadfully often! That night—with his head, in Susan’s lap—sprang, immediately, to life, in his fevered mind!

“Jason,” she soothed, “no one has ever