Simply Feminine � Surprising Insights from Men, Wonderly, Morgan [best ereader manga txt] 📗

an airplane. Yet men derive great satisfaction from helping us. When men feel useful, they feel good. Men don’t feel burdened when we ask them for help as long as we show appreciation for their efforts. Most of the time, a simple “thank you” with a sincere smile is all they need. When a man rescues a woman from a dangerous situation, her appreciation and admiration for him fulfills his greatest need.

Men are driven to respond when their rescuing skills are called on during a large-scale crisis. Countless stories of men’s bravery in the face of disasters all over the world deserve our deep admiration.

Think back to the morning of September 11, 2001, and the incredible bravery of the first responders, most of whom were men. These courageous men saved untold lives, and many lost their own lives by entering dangerous buildings to rescue others.

On a similar note, I was spending several months writing in New Zealand when the devastating February 2011 earthquake hit Christchurch. As I watched the rescue workers on TV in the days that followed, I was touched and inspired by their courage. Men bravely crawled through rubble to pull out injured survivors, risking their own safety to save others. Their heroism moved me and reminded me how much we need men.

Men Are Honor-Driven

Good men are strongly motivated by the notion of honor, which is why the armed forces place so much emphasis on honor. Most young men who join the military do so out of honor and the desire to contribute rather than some bloodthirsty motive to go fight. When a man receives honor from doing something good, he feels great pride. Dr. Patricia Allen, author of the bestselling book Getting to ‘I Do’, often states that feminine energy needs to “feel good to do good,” and masculine energy needs to “do good to feel good.”

It’s important that we recognize and expect the best in our men. When we stand by our men with appreciation and admiration, they will be inspired to rise to the occasion. People (including men!) often live into the beliefs and expectations others have of them. They want to do the right thing for us. In the movie As Good As It Gets, Jack Nicholson gives Helen Hunt the greatest compliment of her life when he says, “You make me want to be a better man.”

Men Are Fixers and Problem Solvers

Men are natural fixers. They love to fix all kinds of objects—cars, computers, and leaky faucets. They fix broken lamps, furniture, toys—you name it. If it’s broken, they want to fix it. Fixing things gives men a sense of purpose because they feel they are being helpful, which makes them feel masculine.

Men also like to solve our problems. Tell a man a problem, and his instinct is to immediately focus on solving it. But this Mr. Fix-It skill also can be a dilemma. When we talk about a problem with a man, because he wants so much to help us, he often skips ahead to provide possible solutions. This eagerness comes from the way men organize their thoughts. Men are highly result-oriented. From our perspective, we can think a guy is being a jerk when he quickly offers a solution, but he is just trying to help. To get our needs met, we can simply remind him that we are not looking for a solution right now. We would just like him to listen and be present. Watch him change his thinking instantly. He genuinely wants to be there for us. As every man knows, “A happy wife is a happy life.”

In addition to solving problems, men also make great inventors. Men see women’s needs as opportunities to invent things. They invent ways to make our lives easier and more comfortable. They find ways to make anything and everything more useful, more sustainable, or more cost-efficient. It was primarily men who invented the vast majority of labor-saving devices we use in our homes today … to please us women.

Men Are Builders

Men love to build. They build houses, roads, cities, bridges, skyscrapers, airplanes, cars, room additions, decks, and furniture, just to name a few. It’s one of the instinctive ways they take care of us. It is primarily men who have built the cities and homes in which we live, the freeways on which we drive, and the offices in which we work. It is almost entirely men who have designed and built all the infrastructure that allow us to live independently and comfortably.

Men especially love to build things for the women they love. I once met a dentist who spoke passionately about his work building crowns and bridges for his patients. However, his eyes lit up with pride when he talked about the work he had done to create a beautiful smile for his wife.

Men Are Accomplishment-Driven

Men love the feeling of accomplishment. They love checking off what they have accomplished, especially when they have the reward of free time after their task is complete; it’s a strong source of pride. Men often say they like to “work hard and play hard.” That’s how men operate best.

Men like to master challenges. They master new skills. They work toward goals and achievements. These are landmarks in the life of a man. Accomplishments can be recognized in various forms. In sports, accomplishments are designated by trophies, Olympic medals, black belts, and championship rings. In business, accomplishments are designated by titles, salaries, and bonuses. In the military, accomplishments are recognized by rank, insignia, medals, bars, and coins. Recognition of such achievements and mastery represents forms of masculinity.

Men like to accomplish for us, too. Men love knowing we’re proud of them for a job well done, so it’s important they be acknowledged when the task is completed or a goal reached. Men can feel we are proud of them in many ways, such as with admiration, respect, appreciation, interest, understanding, affection, and sex.

Men Need to Win With Us

Men have a basic need to win because it