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wanted to be the one who made her that way.

Giving myself a bit of a break, I continued through the apartments, up the stairs, and down the hall containing the rooms of my peers.

Everyone’s door was closed. I ran past all of them until I reached Kataleya’s room. I didn’t know why I felt certain that she would be there, but I was.

I knocked.

“Who is it?” she asked from within.

“Jon. Can I come in?”

“I don’t want you to, but I also do want you to. Yes, come in.”

I opened her door. She was sitting up in the middle of her bed, her palms flat down. She craned her neck toward me, but she seemed wary about moving her body, as if she might topple over.

“How did you know I was here? Close the door.”

I closed it. How did I know she would be here? I had forgotten.

“You look beautiful,” I said.

“Did you have much of the ale?”

“Yes. You?”

“Yes.”

I walked up to her bed, climbed onto it with a bit of difficulty, and sat in front of her with my legs crossed.

“Is Trevor gone?” she asked as she took my hands.

“No. He was talking with Aliana when I left. What happened?”

“Oh no.” Kataleya let go and put her hands over her face as she fell backward.

“Why are you in here and not out there?” I asked as I lay down beside her and put my hand on her shoulder.

“When I realized his majesty put truth serum in the ale, I told Trevor I wasn’t feeling well and needed to lie down.”

“Do I understand this correctly? You knew before it really took hold of you and were able to escape to here?”

“Exactly. I could feel the urge to divulge everything.” She took her hands off her face. “Including, but not limited to, what we did in your room.”

“Oh.” I tried not to smile, but I couldn’t help it. “By the way, it was in our food, not our drinks.”

“Oh, clever.”

“So what happened when you started to feel it?” I asked.

“I knew I had to run.”

“How are you always one step ahead of the rest of us? I only figured out what was going on recently.”

“I am older,” she said as an excuse.

“Two years isn’t much.”

“It isn’t nothing, either.”

“What would you have said if you’d stayed with Trevor?” I asked.

“I can’t stop thinking about you.” She spoke as if this was an inconvenience. “I’m worried because I want you again.”

“I want to kiss you right now,” I said, barely able to hear her words as I stared at her lips.

“See! This is what I’m talking about.” She clumsily rolled away from me. “Stay back!”

But I had to lunge forward and grab her arm so she wouldn’t roll off the bed. “Careful!”

“Thank you,” she said when she realized how close to the edge she’d gone. Then she motioned for me to give her space.

I reluctantly backed off.

“I want you to kiss me right now,” she said, “but I will eventually want Trevor to kiss me. Do you hear how wrong that sounds? Even right now I can tell that it is inappropriate. I don’t like to be this person.”

“So be the person you like to be.”

“I always try, but recently I don’t know who I want to be. My mother and father will disown me if they find out I’ve slept with you, a boy with whom I had no prior romantic involvement, and that I initiated it! It would shame our whole family and ruin our relationship with many nobles. And yet, I continue to have strong feelings for you. Oh god. Did I say earlier that I’m worried because I want you again?” She put her hands over her face. “I shouldn’t be saying any of this to you! Please leave, Jon. No wait, don’t.” She suddenly reached out and grabbed my hand. “I would like your company, but please let’s only talk.”

“I have strong feelings for you, too, Kat.”

She let go of my hand. “Maybe it’s better if we don’t talk. It’s only making this worse.”

“All right, let me try to help you instead because I like you.” My mind was a bog, though.

I had come here for a specific reason that hadn’t seemed to have been mentioned, but I couldn’t remember what it was. Maybe Kataleya knew. She was smart.

“Wasn’t I supposed to be doing something?”

“Not that I know of.”

“What were we just talking about?”

“You were going to try to help me somehow because I have strong feelings for you but my future is with Trevor.”

“Oh. Let’s think of a solution,” I suggested.

“Yes! A solution! That sounds wonderful. What is it?”

“I don’t know.”

She made fists as she groaned. Then she suddenly stopped and looked to have a great idea.

“We just have to stop having feelings for each other!”

“Um, that seems impossible because you are so beautiful, smart, and talented.”

“Wait. I think we’re onto something. Tell me the opposite of that, right now.”

“I don’t want to.”

“Please! It will make everything easier.”

“I’ll try,” I said.

It was easy to remember my three compliments because I thought of them each time I looked at her.

“I don’t really feel this, but I’m saying it because you want me to say it. You are ugly, stupid, and…what’s the opposite of talented?”

We thought for a while before she came up with a couple of words. “Inept…incompetent. No wait. God, why did I not think of this earlier? Untalented!”

We burst into laughter.

“I like your laugh,” I told her.

“Thank you. I like your smile.”

“Thank you,” I replied. “I like how you look, especially without clothes.”

“Thank you! I like how you look, especially without clothes.”

I started to motion that I would take off my shirt. “Do you want me to?” I asked.

“I want you to, but please don’t.”

It was silent as I let go of my shirt.

“How can you not do something that you want to right now?” I wondered.

“Because I have a lot of willpower, Jon.”

“It didn’t seem like you had a lot of willpower earlier today,” I commented.

“That

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