The Small House at Allington, Anthony Trollope [best ebook reader for chromebook .txt] 📗

think I may boast that I never yet went back from my word.”

The earl as he spoke gave his left hand to his guest, and looking somewhat grandly up over the young man’s head, he tapped his own breast thrice with his right hand. As he went through the little scene, John Eames felt that he was every inch an earl.

“I don’t know what to say to you, my lord.”

“Say nothing⁠—not a word more to me. But say to yourself that faint heart never won fair lady. Good night, my dear boy, good night. I dine out tomorrow, but you can call and let me know at about six.”

Eames then left the room without another word, and walked out into the cold air of Jermyn Street. The moon was clear and bright, and the pavement in the shining light seemed to be as clean as a lady’s hand. All the world was altered to him since he had entered Pawkins’s Hotel. Was it then possible that Lily Dale might even yet become his wife? Could it be true that he, even now, was in a position to go boldly to the Squire of Allington, and tell him what were his views with reference to Lily? And how far would he be justified in taking the earl at his word? Some incredible amount of wealth would be required before he could marry Lily Dale. Two or three hundred pounds a year at the very least! The earl could not mean him to understand that any such sum as that would be made up with such an object! Nevertheless he resolved as he walked home to Burton Crescent that he would go down to Guestwick, and that he would obey the earl’s behest. As regarded Lily herself he felt that nothing could be said to her for many a long day as yet.

“Oh, John, how late you are!” said Amelia, slipping out from the back parlour as he let himself in with his latchkey.

“Yes, I am;⁠—very late,” said John, taking his candle, and passing her by on the stairs without another word.

XXXIII “The Time Will Come.”

“Did you hear that young Eames is staying at Guestwick Manor?”

As these were the first words which the squire spoke to Mrs. Dale as they walked together up to the Great House, after church, on Christmas Day, it was clear enough that the tidings of Johnny’s visit, when told to him, had made some impression.

“At Guestwick Manor!” said Mrs. Dale. “Dear me! Do you hear that, Bell? There’s promotion for Master Johnny!”

“Don’t you remember, mamma,” said Bell, “that he helped his lordship in his trouble with the bull?”

Lily, who remembered accurately all the passages of her last interview with John Eames, said nothing, but felt, in some sort, sore at the idea that he should be so near her at such a time. In some unconscious way she had liked him for coming to her and saying all that he did say. She valued him more highly after that scene than she did before. But now, she would feel herself injured and hurt if he ever made his way into her presence under circumstances as they existed.

“I should not have thought that Lord De Guest was the man to show so much gratitude for so slight a favour,” said the squire. “However, I’m going to dine there tomorrow.”

“To meet young Eames?” said Mrs. Dale.

“Yes⁠—especially to meet young Eames. At least, I’ve been very specially asked to come, and I’ve been told that he is to be there.”

“And is Bernard going?”

“Indeed I’m not,” said Bernard. “I shall come over and dine with you.”

A half-formed idea flitted across Lily’s mind, teaching her to imagine for a moment that she might possibly be concerned in this arrangement. But the thought vanished as quickly as it came, merely leaving some soreness behind it. There are certain maladies which make the whole body sore. The patient, let him be touched on any point⁠—let him even be nearly touched⁠—will roar with agony as though his whole body had been bruised. So it is also with maladies of the mind. Sorrows such as that of poor Lily’s leave the heart sore at every point, and compel the sufferer to be ever in fear of new wounds. Lily bore her cross bravely and well; but not the less did it weigh heavily upon her at every turn because she had the strength to walk as though she did not bear it. Nothing happened to her, or in her presence, that did not in some way connect itself with her misery. Her uncle was going over to meet John Eames at Lord De Guest’s. Of course the men there would talk about her, and all such talking was an injury to her.

The afternoon of that day did not pass away brightly. As long as the servants were in the room the dinner went on much as other dinners. At such times a certain amount of hypocrisy must always be practised in closely domestic circles. At mixed dinner-parties people can talk before Richard and William the same words that they would use if Richard and William were not there. People so mixed do not talk together their inward home thoughts. But when close friends are together, a little conscious reticence is practised till the door is tiled. At such a meeting as this that conscious reticence was of service, and created an effect which was salutary. When the door was tiled, and when the servants were gone, how could they be merry together? By what mirth should the beards be made to wag on that Christmas Day?

“My father has been up in town,” said Bernard. “He was with Lord De Guest at Pawkins’s.”

“Why didn’t you go and see him?” asked Mrs. Dale.

“Well, I don’t know. He did not seem to wish it. I shall go down to Torquay in February. I must be up in London, you know, in a fortnight, for good.” Then they