Twelfth Night, William Shakespeare [top 100 novels .txt] 📗

is not the way: do you not see you move him? let me alone with him. Fabian No way but gentleness; gently, gently: the fiend is rough, and will not be roughly used. Sir Toby Why, how now, my bawcock! how dost thou, chuck? Malvolio Sir! Sir Toby Ay, Biddy, come with me. What, man! ’tis not for gravity to play at cherry-pit with Satan: hang him, foul collier! Maria Get him to say his prayers, good Sir Toby, get him to pray. Malvolio My prayers, minx! Maria No, I warrant you, he will not hear of godliness. Malvolio Go, hang yourselves all! you are idle shallow things: I am not of your element: you shall know more hereafter. Exit. Sir Toby Is’t possible? Fabian If this were played upon a stage now, I could condemn it as an improbable fiction. Sir Toby His very genius hath taken the infection of the device, man. Maria Nay, pursue him now, lest the device take air and taint. Fabian Why, we shall make him mad indeed. Maria The house will be the quieter. Sir Toby Come, we’ll have him in a dark room and bound. My niece is already in the belief that he’s mad: we may carry it thus, for our pleasure and his penance, till our very pastime, tired out of breath, prompt us to have mercy on him: at which time we will bring the device to the bar and crown thee for a finder of madmen. But see, but see. Enter Sir Andrew. Fabian More matter for a May morning. Sir Andrew Here’s the challenge, read it: I warrant there’s vinegar and pepper in’t. Fabian Is’t so saucy? Sir Andrew Ay, is’t, I warrant him: do but read. Sir Toby

Give me. Reads.

“Youth, whatsoever thou art, thou art but a scurvy fellow.”

Fabian Good, and valiant. Sir Toby

Reads.

“Wonder not, nor admire not in thy mind, why I do call thee so, for I will show thee no reason for’t.”

Fabian A good note; that keeps you from the blow of the law. Sir Toby

Reads.

“Thou comest to the lady Olivia, and in my sight she uses thee kindly: but thou liest in thy throat; that is not the matter I challenge thee for.”

Fabian Very brief, and to exceeding good sense⁠—less. Sir Toby

Reads.

“I will waylay thee going home; where if it be thy chance to kill me,”⁠—

Fabian Good. Sir Toby

Reads.

“Thou killest me like a rogue and a villain.”

Fabian Still you keep o’ the windy side of the law: good. Sir Toby

Reads.

“Fare thee well; and God have mercy upon one of our souls! He may have mercy upon mine; but my hope is better, and so look to thyself. Thy friend, as thou usest him, and thy sworn enemy,

“Andrew Aguecheek.”

If this letter move him not, his legs cannot: I’ll give’t him.

Maria You may have very fit occasion for’t: he is now in some commerce with my lady, and will by and by depart. Sir Toby Go, Sir Andrew: scout me for him at the corner the orchard like a bum-baily: so soon as ever thou seest him, draw; and, as thou drawest, swear horrible; for it comes to pass oft that a terrible oath, with a swaggering accent sharply twanged off, gives manhood more approbation than ever proof itself would have earned him. Away! Sir Andrew Nay, let me alone for swearing. Exit. Sir Toby Now will not I deliver his letter: for the behaviour of the young gentleman gives him out to be of good capacity and breeding; his employment between his lord and my niece confirms no less: therefore this letter, being so excellently ignorant, will breed no terror in the youth: he will find it comes from a clodpole. But, sir, I will deliver his challenge by word of mouth; set upon Aguecheek a notable report of valour; and drive the gentleman, as I know his youth will aptly receive it, into a most hideous opinion of his rage, skill, fury and impetuosity. This will so fright them both that they will kill one another by the look, like cockatrices. Re-enter Olivia, with Viola. Fabian Here he comes with your niece: give them way till he take leave, and presently after him. Sir Toby I will meditate the while upon some horrid message for a challenge. Exeunt Sir Toby, Fabian, and Maria. Olivia

I have said too much unto a heart of stone
And laid mine honour too unchary out:
There’s something in me that reproves my fault;
But such a headstrong potent fault it is,
That it but mocks reproof.

Viola

With the same ’havior that your passion bears
Goes on my master’s grief.

Olivia

Here, wear this jewel for me, ’tis my picture;
Refuse it not; it hath no tongue to vex you;
And I beseech you come again to-morrow.
What shall you ask of me that I’ll deny,
That honour saved may upon asking give?

Viola Nothing but this; your true love for my master. Olivia

How with mine honour may I give him that
Which I have given to you?

Viola I will acquit you. Olivia

Well, come again to-morrow: fare thee well:
A fiend like thee might bear my soul to hell. Exit.

Re-enter Sir Toby and Fabian. Sir Toby Gentleman, God save thee. Viola And you, sir. Sir Toby That defence thou hast, betake thee to’t: of what nature the wrongs are thou hast done him, I know not; but thy intercepter, full of despite, bloody as the hunter, attends thee at the orchard-end: dismount thy tuck, be yare in thy preparation, for thy assailant is quick, skilful and deadly. Viola You mistake, sir; I am sure no man hath any quarrel to me: my remembrance is very free and clear from any image of offence done to any man. Sir Toby You’ll find it otherwise, I assure you: therefore, if you hold your life at any price, betake you to your guard; for your opposite hath in him what youth, strength, skill and wrath can furnish man withal. Viola I pray you, sir, what is he? Sir Toby He is knight,